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Forever Alone Day

Atreyu

By Atreyu,
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Atreyu

Atreyu

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How to get better:

 

  1. Stop having a defeatist attitude.

 

And that's it.

That's like having an elephant break a foot shackle that it tried to as a baby and couldn't.  I say something that could be seen as "cute" by a chick, she starts laughing, then I try following up, and nothing happens.  My head becomes a blank.  I don't think you truly realize how much I struggle with this.  Think of me like Brick or whatever the guy from The Office plays on Anchorman.  Now granted, he doesn't have a defeatist attitude, but unless it has something to do with the job or the situation at the time, things he says make no sense.  "I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!"  "LOUD NOISES!"  He tried flirting with Christina Applegate, and she turned him down talking to him like to a 5 year old, and he was too much of a retard(his words) to understand what she just said.

Myst42

Myst42

Posted
Posted

First: Women like a manly man, If you are complaining about oh poor you it's never gonna work. Manly men do not complain, nor care about things, manly men are alpha males.

Second: The current status of "prison" is real, but only because you're your own jailor. Ask yourself why is this prison so inescapable?, if it's in your head then why can't you escape? Are you an ugly fuck beyond reasonable parameters? Or it's just a matter of attitude and action?

Third: Screw it. I mean it. Screw what people think. Be direct. Claim your intention. The worst thing that can happen is they turn you down. Surprise! there are more fish in the sea. It can be scary but I promise it can set you free of yourself

Fourth: If you need to talk to someone, and can't afford a therapist, try a priest. I read somewhere you're a Christian, priests are there sometimes to help people too. I've met a few who know how to be good listeners and guides not only related to religious topics.

Fifth: Seriously mate, if you keep whining and feeling miserable, you're only attracting more misery. Try changing the feeling to something else, it doesn't matter if it's rage (sane rage) but turn it to something useful that fuels movement forward. I've turned deception into rage and it keeps me going forward. I tell myself "I'm really gonna kick this situation's ass, it's not gonna beat me!" And it's really helpful

Sixth: Try opening your mind. It seems misery is all you feel and you closed your mind to any solution. You're giving your misery strength, you're feeding it. Every time you completely deny any solution, you get one step closer to the abyss.

 

Truth is, mate, you're scared to death. Scared to be direct, that they're nor gonna like it of you're interested, scared what people may think of you

For now, all people may think is you're a poor sod who keeps on feeling sorry for himself

Trowing yourself in the water may lead to mistakes, but at least you had the courage to live, and that's nothing to be ashamed of

 

Stop it. Seriously

Self-pity is a major turn off. Stop caring. Own your life. Don't be a victim.

 

I have been both a social and a lonely person in my life at different times. As a loner I never felt like a poor lost puppy, I pictured myself as a wandering wolf, not necessarily a predator, but someone who can survive away from the pack, following my own rules. I never cared for poor little me, I chose to stay away cause I grew tired of all the shit. I have known loneliness. It's the attitude what differs

 

Seriously. Stop the misery.

That's the best I can tell

I'm not a therapist, but someone in my family is. And I've been an observer of human being for many years

Best I can say is that. Loose the bad attitude

 

Best of lucks mate

Monsto Brukes

Monsto Brukes

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But a lot of good that's done me.  I still don't even get a second glance from women and I easily blend into the background and I often startle my coworkers because they didn't even know I was there.

 

My sons are 20 and 22. when they would give me that same kinda attitude I would say to them flat out.

 

me "I'm not going to waste my time trying to help you if you're not at least willing to help yourself."

them "yeah but... "

me "yeah but nothing. what are you going to do about it?"

 

what are you going to do about it?

what are you going to do about it?

 

Making your situation better starts with you. There is no magic bullet fix. There is only you (body), your problem (mind) and motivation (soul).

 

I told you dude. . . it's a numbers game. You can't win the lottery if you never buy tickets. Change your station. Damb the torpedoes and do what you need to do.

AKM

AKM

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One of the problems I've run into myself has been being, and appearing, overly interested.  Sometimes, you just have to do only so much, consciously restrain yourself from doing more, and then say "fuck it, if it happens, it happens" and walk away, literally, and/or figuratively.  That's exactly the attitude I took with job interviews after lots of applications without response.  As soon as I said "fuck it, whatever happens, happens", I got a job offer.  I start Monday.  Is this my dream job?  Hell no, but it's a job, and unlike what I'm doing now, it has the potential of being a career.

 

Okay, so it's not dating, but is is very similar.  You can have "dream jobs" and you can have "dream mates", but you'll never find them.  Perfection doesn't exist, there will be problems, and you just have to decide what you're willing to accept, and what's a deal breaker.  Mostly, you just have to keep trying, regardless of how many "not interesteds" you get.  The hardest part is preventing the "not interesteds" from getting you down.  I try to look at it as "Great!  Saved a bunch of wasted time on something that wouldn't have worked anyway!".   It's the truth, it keeps me positive, and the positivity is absolutely crucial to being taken seriously.

 

I've had a relationship where a bunch of time was spent before we both decided for different reasons that it wouldn't work.  That's time we could have spent looking for someone else, but it's experience, too.  Now we have a better idea of what we are and are not looking for.  Double edged sword.

Monsto Brukes

Monsto Brukes

Posted
Posted

If I knew what to do about it, I'd have done it.

 

I and others have tried to tell you, but you keep throwing out roadblocks.

 

Nobody can help you, tho, if you're just going to wallow. Try something. Anything. Fear of failure is paralyzing. Success is getting up 1 more time than you fall down. 

 

"what if i ask someone out and they say no?" So? What if they say yes?

 

You're never gonna know if you don't try. If you refuse to try because "yeah right they'll never go out with me" then your battle isn't with the world, it's with you and you need to get therapy.

Kaputzki

Kaputzki

Posted
Posted

The advices I've read here are spiced with a lot of life experience.

 

I can only add an analogy to what they've said:

 

Whenever I treat a dog out of his anxiety I have to put the dog in a situation where it'll confront the source. Most of the time I keep it to a minimum of confrontation, but confrontation is still confrontation. Once the poor thing accepts his fate and the fact that he can't avoid the source of the fear, he becomes relaxed and can take even the minimal confrontation. From there, the road is paved to rid the dog (slowly but surely) out of the anxiety completely.

 

We call it "Exposure" here, and it's a guiding principle not only to rid of fears, but also to prevent future fears from developing and helping the dog to be able to have better decision-making in complex environments (such as heavily populated, noisy cities with a lot of cars and people on the streets) or even prevent aggression.

 

The only two differences is that in your case; a. you're a human. b. you're your owners, so if you won't put yourself into confrontation (the most minimal as possible) you won't get progress. But the principle is all the same.

 

You gotta take yourself by the leash and force yourself to be battered by those nasty No's!

Atreyu

Atreyu

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I've already been battered by too many of those nasty no's.  It's left me numb, and if I feel anything, it's pain.  If I have no wingman, nothing will happen.

Monsto Brukes

Monsto Brukes

Posted
Posted

 

You gotta take yourself by the leash and force yourself to be battered by those nasty No's!

 

 

I've already been battered by too many of those nasty no's.  It's left me numb, and if I feel anything, it's pain.  If I have no wingman, nothing will happen.

 

There it is folks. . . the ultimate refusal to help ones-self. 

 

If you won't help you, nobody else will help you. 

Myst42

Myst42

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You guys know, this is part of what makes the world such a shitty place

People prefer to take the victim attitude instead of taking control of their lives. Magic obstacles keep on popping out like the biggest deux-ex-machina ever made in the history of all fuck. 

There is always some kind of external all-powerful force that's making people miserable, when actually the only problem is within. "Masters of our own Fate" that's what we all should be aiming for.

 

As an ancient saying says (sorry, don't know english for it) "There is no worse ill than the one who does not want to heal"

 

Healing is not external, is always internal, it begins with the will to heal. If that will is absent, then the case is lost

Illness is more than just a state of health, it's an attitude.

Every ill person must be willing to help themselves if they ever expect healing

 

After 5 pages of all kinds of LL members offering advice, all being discarded with foremost haste

All kinds of advice, a lot of them very experienced. Most of them AGREEING on the fact that the pessimist victim attitude is what needs changing here

This is probably at a dead end and this is down to two options:

 

N°1: Either no advice will be heard, because this person lost all hope and completely shut down his mind, to any kind of solution making it effectively a lost case

    In which case, the solution is to stop trying, and believe everyone must follow their own path and maybe this person will one day open his mind and realize the true problem.... or he'll end it.

N°2: It's just a trolling operation, he's not really miserable and takes some kind of twisted pleasure out of this

     In which case, well... everybody's entitled to their own kind of crazy and it's also pointless to keep giving ideas

 

From a "human" point of view, both cases are very, very, VERY sad...

Now, from my own egotistic point of view, I offered my most sincere help, with the best of intentions as I'm sure most of you guys did. Even though we had no obligation or even get any feedback from it. Hell, for me making posts in LL is the most unproductive thing I could possibly do. I keep posting sometimes just because I feel like it, and because studying humanity amuses me. But I honestly don't really care. Meaning If I can help, then good. If I can't, life keeps on going...

I always give a few tries but my patience is so frigging thin... I don't get angry, I just get bored and leave... That's what I did here

 

Hmm... I really need to work on my patience...

Also on my Oblivion and Skyrim new installation... I've been delaying out of sloth...

 

Peace

Sincerely

Me

T-T-That's All Folks!

Atreyu

Atreyu

Posted
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I'm not a trolling person.  At first I didn't know what post you were talking about.  I looked up and saw a post i tl;dr'd because it was 1) too lengthy and 2) hurtful in nature.  I took the yelling in basic training.  I'm not taking it here.

Guest Ragna_Rok

Guest Ragna_Rok

Posted
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I'm sorry to say this in a gaming forum, but if you want to meet somebody in real life, you must stop playing PC games and start playing real life.

 

and im sorry to say that, this and studies are the reasons why i retired from modding.

 

rl-pussy ftw :blush:

 

ps: nice movie, the last unicorn.... :angel:

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Spartan 363

Spartan 363

Posted
Posted

I'm not a trolling person.  At first I didn't know what post you were talking about.  I looked up and saw a post i tl;dr'd because it was 1) too lengthy and 2) hurtful in nature.  I took the yelling in basic training.  I'm not taking it here.

 

That's another major flaw you have and thus, why you're so miserable in general, you won't even take the time and read our long advices because you just admitted that if the post is too long and so called hurtful, you ignore it.  How do you expect for even a professional to begin helping you when you won't take the time to sit down and really read/talk about your issues?  You dismiss things too easily and that explains why you are rejected so much, you don't listen and that's a huge turn off and a major source of your misery.  I was just like you, just nodding my head to advice and it really went through one ear and out the other.

 

You have to learn to break out of insanity, that's what you are, insane.  Insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results each time and in your case, saying no, I can't do it, there is a brick in my face and such is you being insane!

 

You have to stop with the "ah, poor me, please pity me everyone, I'm lonely broken record talk."  As I said, you catch feelings too easily that even women I dated in the past were never that pathetic when on their periods.  Only you can get right back up after you have fallen, if you expect to see a hand (wingman) to pick you up and carry you every time, you are mistaken in believing you need a wingman to do everything you desire and such.  By the way I have read your responses and your utter incompetence and denial you are showing, we just wasted our time because you won't even take the time to sit down and try our advice, the worst that can happen is it didn't work but then you move on to the next.  

 

We can't do anything else until you are willing to LISTEN and also not be such a pussy because we shouted a bit and we did it to encourage you because women like confidence and loathe wimps/poor me types and that's why you seeing a box of condoms being purchased by others disturbs you to easily????

 

 

Lastly, I don't mean any harsh words, but I'm a bit frustrated that by you admitting that you skip long post, I wasted over an hour thinking back on my experiences and typing that long post I did and all because you are stubborn and just keep saying no.  You need to start trying new things if you ever want to climb out of the hole you are in.  You being Christian is even worse because you should know that in church and reading the bible, God helps those that help themselves and you seem to forget that and thus why you're so miserable when you won't even let God give you advice through prayers because you keep refusing to sit down and listen.  You're impatient and expect fast results, life does not work that way unless you are a billionaire. 

  • 11 months later...
Atreyu

Atreyu

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Let's see.  A year's gone by.  What has happened so far?  Nothing great.  I still have a job, but it's barely enough to pay on my debts while I still live with my mom.  I can't afford an apartment even with a roommate.  Women in general are still not attracted to me.  The one attractive woman that flirted with me turned out to be a flake that I haven't seen since.  I've only ever been used to that being a prank or being prompted by someone else.  Any feeling of happiness that I feel gets thrown into the abyss when I learn the truth.  Any attractive coworkers that talk to me sound like they have a tone of pity in their voice, which only makes me feel worse.  Any agreements for help go silence for many months, later learned forgotten.  Social groups still make me clam up and tense up.  Like all I want to do is get out.  Cornered with that minimal confrontation makes me freeze until it goes away.  Even those my age who seem down to earth are either married or just too busy with their kids.  And them having kids is a deal breaker for me anyway.  And all I seem to get here are hurtful comments or impossible scenarios.  And yet, here I am, hoping someone with a fresh view or have had real time to think about this kind of situation might be able to think of something else that's possible for me in a non-alienating way.  Any thoughts?

Chaos63

Chaos63

Posted
Posted

Let's see.  A year's gone by.  What has happened so far?  Nothing great.  I still have a job, but it's barely enough to pay on my debts while I still live with my mom.  I can't afford an apartment even with a roommate.  Women in general are still not attracted to me.  The one attractive woman that flirted with me turned out to be a flake that I haven't seen since.  I've only ever been used to that being a prank or being prompted by someone else.  Any feeling of happiness that I feel gets thrown into the abyss when I learn the truth.  Any attractive coworkers that talk to me sound like they have a tone of pity in their voice, which only makes me feel worse.  Any agreements for help go silence for many months, later learned forgotten.  Social groups still make me clam up and tense up.  Like all I want to do is get out.  Cornered with that minimal confrontation makes me freeze until it goes away.  Even those my age who seem down to earth are either married or just too busy with their kids.  And them having kids is a deal breaker for me anyway.  And all I seem to get here are hurtful comments or impossible scenarios.  And yet, here I am, hoping someone with a fresh view or have had real time to think about this kind of situation might be able to think of something else that's possible for me in a non-alienating way.  Any thoughts?

 

Do you like people?

 

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