Do Internet Relationships Work?

[arliel]

I have tried a couple of online relationships when I was younger. Both from the States.

In complete honesty, I "left" the first one for the second one. First one was a bit... overwhelming. Second one met a girl irl that he liked, kissed her, told me, and when I asked if liked her, said I guess we're done then. However, I don't count either of them as exes. Possibly because that physical aspect was missing. 

I have had other relationships, that I actually consider exes, that started online, but it wasn't an "online relationship". They were local and we met after a brief period.

I also knew a girl who went through at least a few online relationships (starting in separate countries), that later continued in real life, only for them to end in one way or another.

 

However, although I do not have a lot of confidence in online relationships, i can't dismiss that they can work. Rare, but possible. Like said by someone else, you'd need that real connection. If you can find that, I guess you're lucky.

I, myself am going to stick to offline relationships, though. They don't really work for me. I like the real sex and stuff. ?

[adrianviaggi]

I was married for 10 years with someone I met on internet, did not work but no because internet.

 

Now im in another internet relationship for almost 2 years, we still dont meet in real (because pandemic stuff and work) but we play games, watch movies and expend everyday together as much as we can. We both agreed to have a serius relation so we dont see others persons, sometime is hard because the sex but we managed that and i know we both are 100% faithfull to each other..I know is not something everybody can do.

 

We are planning to see each other next year

[Clea Strange]

I do know 2 neighbors who live next to me who met through world of warcraft became friends.  Then met in real life started dating and got married and have kids. I have also heard of people meeting from other mmo's and  hooking up.

 

Back when I use to play world of warcraft their was a guild that was a around that a guild leader. She would meet with the men from the game and cheat on her boyfriend with these me and it wasn't a one time thing either. That is another thing people have to worry about someone who has a significant other. Is that they will use video games to meet people and cheat.

 

Hooking up/dating and getting married in real life does happen it just depends upon the people. Does the relationship last long after meeting in real life? well that is a different story as well and depends upon the individuals involved.

[Miridia96]

On 9/13/2021 at 9:34 AM, KoolHndLuke said:

I mean... has anybody ever heard of relationships that started online working out? How about ones that stay online because of distance or something? Does a more or less permanent online relationship even qualify as 'real'? Tell me what you think about it.

 

 

 

I can only speak os a friend that had a relationship with a girl from another country. They knew each other for years and kept playing games with each other. They eventually met and became a couple. Now they both live together for 3 years now.

[KoolHndLuke]

On 11/7/2021 at 8:35 PM, lotus.angel said:

Relationships are dangerous without GREAT caution and slow progress.  It doesn't matter whether it is in Church or on a sex site.

 

I know.

 

Needless to say, I would probably bore someone at the point in my life before anything evolved.  I am a more than just "ok" with that.   One of the reasons I like the Bishop mod is that a female wrote it and she clearly has a strong bullshit filter for those who want to romance her.  Bishop doesn't exist in the real world, unfortunatly.

I used to think this, then I met my gf and she really shocked me in some ways. But, fuck me it does take a lot of patience and work.

 

On 11/18/2021 at 11:26 PM, adrianviaggi said:

I was married for 10 years with someone I met on internet, did not work but no because internet.

 

Now im in another internet relationship for almost 2 years, we still dont meet in real (because pandemic stuff and work) but we play games, watch movies and expend everyday together as much as we can. We both agreed to have a serius relation so we dont see others persons, sometime is hard because the sex but we managed that and i know we both are 100% faithfull to each other..I know is not something everybody can do.

 

We are planning to see each other next year

It's great you found someone over the net and can keep things going with them. Does it help knowing that you will someday be with them in the flesh? Anyway, glad to hear you two are happy together online for now.

 

20 hours ago, Hiderius said:

I do know 2 neighbors who live next to me who met through world of warcraft became friends.  Then met in real life started dating and got married and have kids. I have also heard of people meeting from other mmo's and  hooking up.

 

Back when I use to play world of warcraft their was a guild that was a around that a guild leader. She would meet with the men from the game and cheat on her boyfriend with these me and it wasn't a one time thing either. That is another thing people have to worry about someone who has a significant other. Is that they will use video games to meet people and cheat.

 

Hooking up/dating and getting married in real life does happen it just depends upon the people. Does the relationship last long after meeting in real life? well that is a different story as well and depends upon the individuals involved.

I don't really play MMOs since I generally dislike ppl. But yeah, the ppl involved and circumstances are key. Met my gf on a gaming forum like this one.

 

2 hours ago, Miridia96 said:

 

I can only speak os a friend that had a relationship with a girl from another country. They knew each other for years and kept playing games with each other. They eventually met and became a couple. Now they both live together for 3 years now.

Cool. Personally I think we each kind of know when we've found the one for us, even if it is over the internet. Of course that feeling has to be more or less mutual in order for anything to work for long. 

 

 

[spoonsinger]

I have a friend who "met" his wife via the internet twenty years ago and they are still together and happily married with children. However I suspect then and now is probably totally different - not really a field I versed in that respect as two decades doesn't seem long to me, although the demise of local non corporate pubs/inns is becoming a bit of a downer. (Especially when toodling around my country on work). 

[GohomeGérardyoudrunk]

I watched a documentary about it recently about couples meeting on VRchat and making long distance relationships with eachother to the point where they are married on the game and link up In real life 

https://youtu.be/A7MnZIMU8so

It's worth having a look 

 

[Clea Strange]

It varies or depends upon the individuals involved really. If you are seeing each other on the internet be it forums or in game, their will come a time where you'll want to meet up in person and go from their. I mean it may work out on the internet or game, but I would say the biggest test is to see if it will work in real life. To see if the two people involved will get along. Another thing to think of is what we see from someone on the internet/game will be completely different in real life. People use persona's I want to say to portray themselves on how they want to be on the internet but yet again completely different in real life.

[adrianviaggi]

On 11/20/2021 at 3:20 PM, KoolHndLuke said:

 

 

It's great you found someone over the net and can keep things going with them. Does it help knowing that you will someday be with them in the flesh? Anyway, glad to hear you two are happy together online for now.

 

of course it helps...i dont think would be posible to have a relationship that never ever would be in real at least once...but what i meant is that is posible to have a long relationship over the net.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

On 9/13/2021 at 12:56 AM, EvalovesEP said:

> TOO OLD?!?!?!? One can never be too old for love.

This is apparently true, as I heard somewhere that STDs have been found to be particularly high in old folks homes.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

On 9/13/2021 at 12:34 AM, KoolHndLuke said:

I mean... has anybody ever heard of relationships that started online working out? How about ones that stay online because of distance or something? Does a more or less permanent online relationship even qualify as 'real'? Tell me what you think about it.

 

 

Have I heard of them working out? Of course, provided the relationship has some kind of physical aspect to it at some point and eventually moves completely offline. I would say those at least last longer than relationships that are completely online.

 

Does a permanent online relationship count as real? NO. Not in the context you are likely thinking of. I could stop there but I will elaborate. Because the relationship is entirely online the whole thing could be faked, any pictures shown could come from another source, and you couldn't even be sure of the gender of the person on the other end, there are some real weirdos out there not to mention those who are just looking for a way to take advantage of you. Your "S.O." could very easily cheat on you and you'd never know, or have a very real relationship on the side while he or she just milks your for gifts and money and such.. kind of like LonelyFans (you know the site I'm referring to). Then of course there is the non physical aspect, no hugging or kissing, no sex... that's not a real relationship. I mean you might as well jump on to a dating sim and call that a real relationship, because really it's not much different.

[KoolHndLuke]

47 minutes ago, Z0mBieP00Nani said:

Your "S.O." could very easily cheat on you and you'd never know, or have a very real relationship on the side while he or she just milks your for gifts and money and such.

True.. as well as the other stuff you mention. I mean if an internet relationship is all a person can manage, then I suppose they'll just have to make due. But for everyone else that is able to meet in person and such, then I think they really should. Hard to put faith in some typed dialogue and cute avatar- no matter how sincere they may be. However, I would also say that any relationship is leap of faith no matter the ppl or circumstances and that some of us are at a much greater risk than others and need the extra security that only the internet can provide with virtual anonymity. I've heard enough horror stories to convince me of this.

 

So it's a fine line that ppl deal with on both sides of the relationship. I've been willing to give my gf her space and security as much I can, but I must admit mounting frustration at her not giving in to any compromise either.

 

 

[fishburger67]

5 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

True.. as well as the other stuff you mention. I mean if an internet relationship is all a person can manage, then I suppose they'll just have to make due. But for everyone else that is able to meet in person and such, then I think they absolutely should. Hard to put faith in some typed dialogue and cute avatar- no matter how sincere they may be

Agreed 200%.  You have no idea who a person is until you have spent significant time with them and even then you may not discover what you should have known for many years.   People can make themselves out to be whoever they want online and frequently do.   Caution Will Rogers.

[KoolHndLuke]

36 minutes ago, fishburger67 said:

Agreed 200%.  You have no idea who a person is until you have spent significant time with them and even then you may not discover what you should have known for many years.   People can make themselves out to be whoever they want online and frequently do.   Caution Will Rogers.

I've often thought about whether my wanting to be with my gf in person is more a strong desire or really a need. If a desire, then I can tell myself that I'm being kind of selfish and insensitive to her need (won't say desire) for security. If a need, which I really think it is btw, then she is denying me something unfairly and shouldn't be surprised if I decide to move on. The particular details of our relationship make this a very hard decision for me- for she is who I want I'm sure.

 

 

[fishburger67]

1 hour ago, KoolHndLuke said:

I've often thought about whether my wanting to be with my gf in person is more a strong desire or really a need. If a desire, then I can tell myself that I'm being kind of selfish and insensitive to her need (won't say desire) for security. If a need, which I really think it is btw, then she is denying me something unfairly and shouldn't be surprised if I decide to move on. The particular details of our relationship make this a very hard decision for me- for she is who I want I'm sure

It is my view that you only ever get ONE who is really the ONE.  That has been my experience with three women.  I so, go find out if she really is the ONE and if she is, whatever sacrifices you make will be worth it.  Also worth considering is whether or not she thinks your are her ONE.  If not, walk away.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

1 hour ago, KoolHndLuke said:

I've often thought about whether my wanting to be with my gf in person is more a strong desire or really a need. If a desire, then I can tell myself that I'm being kind of selfish and insensitive to her need (won't say desire) for security. If a need, which I really think it is btw, then she is denying me something unfairly and shouldn't be surprised if I decide to move on. The particular details of our relationship make this a very hard decision for me- for she is who I want I'm sure.

 

 

Human's NEED physical contact of some kind, socialization is not really enough. I remember a study that was done on orphans and specifically those that had been raised in a very unsocial environment since infancy and it turns out that just meeting the social aspect wasn't enough, the children NEEDED physical contact. Those that didn't get the physical contact often grew up shorter than those that did and had a number of other issues. Humans evolved to be social creatures, so some degree of socialization and I would argue, physical contact is necessary for survival and longevity.

 

What she is doing to you sounds kind of cruel, to be honest. She shouldn't have to do something she doesn't like but on the same token it is my opinion that one should not keep "pets" they can not properly provide for and take care of.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, fishburger67 said:

It is my view that you only ever get ONE who is really the ONE.

That's such a horrible thought. What to do when your ONE lives an ocean away, speaks a different language, and will never know you exist? With the number of people in the world, the statistics of the ONE being the person down the street are . . . Not great.

 

I think relationships that start online & transition to in-person can absolutely work; I've seen that be the case more often than not when the people involved take the time to get to know each other instead of just moving in. And that's a problem strictly IRL couples can have, too.

 

But a permanent long-distance thing? No, sorry, I don't see that working unless all people involved are isolated from other people. The sad truth is that if a third party meeting all requirements is paying more attention to the person than their significant other, with the goal of a romantic relationship with the person, there's a decent chance that eventually the person will leave the significant other for the third party. Or if not that third party, some fourth or fifth or whatever party. That's pretty much all I've ever seen in those scenarios. I don't think it's a sex thing; I think it's a resources thing.

[fishburger67]

2 hours ago, Whydoessheloveme said:

That's such a horrible thought. What to do when your ONE lives an ocean away, speaks a different language, and will never know you exist? With the number of people in the world, the statistics of the ONE being the person down the street are . . . Not great.

 

I think relationships that start online & transition to in-person can absolutely work; I've seen that be the case more often than not when the people involved take the time to get to know each other instead of just moving in. And that's a problem strictly IRL couples can have, too.

 

But a permanent long-distance thing? No, sorry, I don't see that working unless all people involved are isolated from other people. The sad truth is that if a third party meeting all requirements is paying more attention to the person than their significant other, with the goal of a romantic relationship with the person, there's a decent chance that eventually the person will leave the significant other for the third party. Or if not that third party, some fourth or fifth or whatever party. That's pretty much all I've ever seen in those scenarios. I don't think it's a sex thing; I think it's a resources thing.

 

I wouldn't disagree with you at all.  You can't know if someone is the one until you find out.  Doesn't matter where they live.  I almost traveled an ocean to find out once.

[KoolHndLuke]

Wow, you know you must be boring when even the internet doesn't want to talk to you anymore. Even all my google searches just return *Pfft, fuck you!*. (please note that I endorse this software behavior 100%) 

 

 

[Guest]

 

@KoolHndLuke  Are things looking up?

[Guest]

On 11/28/2021 at 12:24 PM, Z0mBieP00Nani said:

This is apparently true, as I heard somewhere that STDs have been found to be particularly high in old folks homes.

Why does this make me happy?  I guess it is not the STD's but the bashing of the stereotype that aging means you stop living.  I am thinking I am going to start sending bulk condoms to the local nursing homes.  LOL

[Clea Strange]

On 12/27/2021 at 10:48 AM, katkattay said:

Yeah, my fiance and I have been together for 3 years and he is in Denmark. I'm in USA ❤️

 

I wish the best of both of you

 

 

 

 

@KoolHndLuke

 

this very question could also be asked about meeting people in your area/ general location or locations . Like the person you see a complete stranger that you have never talked to or rarely walking down the street or at the grocery store. Or it could be your neighbor or that you see at work or even at some other business ie bank post office etc. They could easily be your significant other in the future, it's just that you got to take risks and speak to them cause you never know.

 

course that is a different subject altogther.

[an angel of blood]

i've been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for over two years online. we just met in real life for the first time this new years' and it was everything. i know online relationships can work but to be honest, it depends on it either a) not being forever, or b) knowing the plan is for one of you to move to the other someday. it comes with a lot of difficulties, but it can work if it's the right relationship and you both are open about your needs and expectations for the future.

 

it probably helps that we're not exclusive as well. we both have a partner nearby that we can see, so we aren't completely starved for affection. usually. but it still hurts to be apart, so much