> Your girls are very beautiful. When I saw Elyvaea I instantly remembered Crw's Sinetica. They look very much alike.

> Screen capturing and facial expressions are amazing. Love it. Anyhow, compliments for great story.

Absolutely gorgeous as always. THose crowd shots must have taken forever to stage ?

I like your story. Your entries opens much faster now and I'm glad you put them in spoilers. As always, you rock when comes to facial expressions and detailed scenes. Compliments.

Good entry indeed, with your usual complex posing and shooting quality combined with a writing style more constant in quality.  You are definitely good at setting up things so you can draw out maximum stakes from them, and a good sense of momentum ; both paying off as the readers are continuously hooked up into wanting to know what further happens. Now I found your more balanced faces characters design somewhat less iconic than the previous ones, as their vivid eyes colors do somewhat deter for the more realistic proportions you chose. Malkor's pointy chin and Taevya's big eyes weren't necessarily a flaw in this regard (Elisif's clothes however seem a bit out of character XD). Anyway, the threads of your story are slowly connecting for our greatest pleasure. Well done !

Malicia : « It was a very good story, yes. Once she's healed Castalia will kiss Malkoran on the mouth, and Taevya'll be able to honey-honey with Davey as soon as she gets her chains removed. All that's very nice, yes.  »

 That ending cliff hanger! Looking forward to your battle scenes and screenshots!

But now it takes another half year... until Taeyva has another chance to put on some decent clothes and gets rid of her chains .

I think I didn't quite get if Malkor is still alive. You don't write or indicate that he's dead, but they wanted to execute him and they didn't because he was worried about Taeyva's life? Wouldn't he just say anything to have a chance of staying alive? Why did that change their mind?

4 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Good entry indeed, with your usual complex posing and shooting quality combined with a writing style more constant in quality.  You are definitely good at setting up things so you can draw out maximum stakes from them, and a good sense of momentum ; both paying off as the readers are continuously hooked up into wanting to know what further happens. Now I found your more balanced faces characters design somewhat less iconic than the previous ones, as their vivid eyes colors do somewhat deter for the more realistic proportions you chose. Malkor's pointy chin and Taevya's big eyes weren't necessarily a flaw in this regard (Elisif's clothes however seem a bit out of character XD). Anyway, the threads of your story are slowly connecting for our greatest pleasure. Well done !

I don't want to critique your critique but I think Collygon's character design (visually and story wise) is one of the biggest strength of his story. Btw. have you considered releasing an Erinye follower mod? I think she's very unique and really stands out from the other characters. 

I think you're a bit overly critical with Elisif, I think she had like one screenshot and probably her modded default outfit .

2 hours ago, Alter Native said:

I don't want to critique your critique but I think Collygon's character design (visually and story wise) is one of the biggest strength of his story.

You're right. His character design is excellent. But I'm not giving my opinion on that, but rather on the face shapes modifications he did since the "Restiched" entry, every last bit of the rest of his character design being left unchanged.

Malicia : « I very agree with you, Mr Native. Tirloque says lots of things, but he's not an expert, no. So, he hasn't any idea of what he says, you see ? Unlike me. »

2 hours ago, Alter Native said:

I think I didn't quite get if Malkor is still alive. You don't write or indicate that he's dead, but they wanted to execute him and they didn't because he was worried about Taeyva's life? Wouldn't he just say anything to have a chance of staying alive? Why did that change their mind?

To my understanding, in normal times Malkor would've never begged an enemy to be spared, nor thought anything but for his own sake. So Taevya and Torundr were taken aback not only to see him beg, but to see him beg for the sake of another ; which is an act of love. That does also hints that a glimpse of the Malkor he was before being prophet (and who cared for Castalia) survived, but only Castalia herself could fully appreciate that.

It is very possible him realizing Castalia sacrificed herself in order to spare him from Erinye shook Malkor off the treacherous image he had of Castalia.

2 hours ago, Alter Native said:

I think you're a bit overly critical with Elisif, I think she had like one screenshot and probably her modded default outfit .

The more the work gets close to perfection, the more I'll dare criticize on smaller details, as the core parts are assumed like being mastered. And so it's probably not on them that the author could improve.

But minor details are minor, I give you that. Plus the faces aspect is merely a matter of tastes and opinions.

26 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

You're right. His character design is excellent. But I'm not giving my opinion on that, but rather on the face shapes modifications he did since the "Restiched" entry, every last bit of the rest of his character design being left unchanged.

I understand, I was also mostly referring to the visual design of the characters.

Tbh. without having a direct character comparison before/after I hardly noticed any difference which is a good thing in my opinion. It's like sound design, you only notice when it's bad, but when the sound is good you don't notice it at all. 

26 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

Malicia : « I very agree with you, Mr Native. Tirloque says lots of things, but he's not an expert, no. So, he hasn't any idea of what he says, you see ? Unlike me. »

Glad at least one of you guys has self awareness  

26 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

To my understanding, in normal times Malkor would've never begged an enemy to be spared, nor thought anything but for his own sake. So Taevya and Torundr were taken aback not only to see him beg, but to see him beg for the sake of another ; which is an act of love. That does also hints that a glimpse of the Malkor he was before being prophet (and who cared for Castalia) survived, but only Castalia herself could fully appreciate that.

Maybe Malicia was right and I spend too much time with evil characters, because they would have killed him for sure...

26 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

The more the work gets close to perfection, the more I'll dare criticize on smaller details, as the core parts are assumed like being mastered. And so it's probably not on them that the author could improve.

 

But minor details are minor, I give you that. Plus the faces aspect is merely a matter of tastes and opinions.

I'd criticize her hair before anything else, it's 2019 there are at least 21 NPC replacers out there that take care of Elisif's look but in the end it's a matter of taste and effort. I'd also prefer to see the males with a different skin texture, probably veteran skin to give them a bit more of a rough look, less like boys. But again, personal taste  .

4 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Glad at least one of you guys has self awareness

Malicia :

4 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Tbh. without having a direct character comparison before/after I hardly noticed any difference which is a good thing in my opinion. It's like sound design, you only notice when it's bad, but when the sound is good you don't notice it at all.

Which is why I mentioned it. It strikes me from time to time depending on the angle of view on Taevya, and this time on Elyvaea : the eyes and mouth seem smaller, and the pronounced faces features of some characters do seem.. well, less pronounced. And nearly all of them had similar redesign, even those who hadn't eyes as big as the original Taevya ; so there's a small loss of personality IMO. Take the example below, which one would seem like having more personality ?

But anyway, artistic choices, personal preferences.

4 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Maybe Malicia was right and I spend too much time with evil characters, because they would have killed him for sure...

Which is why, when someone is a good roleplayer, it's interesting to have a wide range of characters : more points of view. I do realize I might be biased on the reverse than you though, but those of my characters that would share the "slay the threat" point of view will only take their place later. Interestingly enough, one of them is a vampire, so I do think that sharing a condition implying to remain hidden/unknown might affect heavily that kind of decisions.

Anyway, I think I have talked enough on Collygon's blog for the moment ; I'll try to do a bit of silence before the author share his own views on all of this.

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Which is why I mentioned it. It strikes me from time to time depending on the angle of view on Taevya, and this time on Elyvaea : the eyes and mouth seem smaller, and the pronounced faces features of some characters do seem.. well, less pronounced. And nearly all of them had similar redesign, even those who hadn't eyes as big as the original Taevya ; so there's a small loss of personality IMO. Take the example below, which one would seem like having more personality ?

 

I agree with the right one, but this is mostly due to lightning. Null is made pitch black with the Ambient lightning at full white. This is very unnatural lightning and gives an artificial look with everything lit equally without shadows. This is of course intended here, but the comparision is not fair in the first place. To me there's barely a difference besides the face paint.

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Interestingly enough, one of them is a vampire, so I do think that sharing a condition implying to remain hidden/unknown might affect heavily that kind of decisions.

Serana? Or is there another vampire in the works? 

3 hours ago, Alter Native said:

I agree with the right one, but this is mostly due to lightning. Null is made pitch black with the Ambient lightning at full white. This is very unnatural lightning and gives an artificial look with everything lit equally without shadows. This is of course intended here, but the comparision is not fair in the first place. To me there's barely a difference besides the face paint.

I must agree on the lighting part.

3 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Serana? Or is there another vampire in the works? 

A handful of characters leaning more towards a grey ideological area than the Marsoric or their foes. Can't say more atm.

Anyway, I am infringing my wish to let the author express himself ; let's make place to Collygon's comments now !

Oh shit, now its getting real crazy, hyped for the next chapter.

On 8/1/2019 at 8:34 PM, EvalovesEP said:

> Your girls are very beautiful. When I saw Elyvaea I instantly remembered Crw's Sinetica. They look very much alike.

> Screen capturing and facial expressions are amazing. Love it. Anyhow, compliments for great story.

Thank you so much, Eva!

On 8/2/2019 at 1:52 AM, SpyVsPie said:

Absolutely gorgeous as always. THose crowd shots must have taken forever to stage ?

Thank you! Haha, yeah, the one outside with the wolves took ~2 hours. Fortunately I just used the crowd for background instead of focus, so I didn't have to pose everyone.

On 8/2/2019 at 2:39 AM, Elf Prince said:

I like your story. Your entries opens much faster now and I'm glad you put them in spoilers. As always, you rock when comes to facial expressions and detailed scenes. Compliments.

Thanks, Prince! That means a lot ❤️

On 8/2/2019 at 5:52 AM, Tirloque said:

Good entry indeed, with your usual complex posing and shooting quality combined with a writing style more constant in quality.  You are definitely good at setting up things so you can draw out maximum stakes from them, and a good sense of momentum ; both paying off as the readers are continuously hooked up into wanting to know what further happens. Now I found your more balanced faces characters design somewhat less iconic than the previous ones, as their vivid eyes colors do somewhat deter for the more realistic proportions you chose. Malkor's pointy chin and Taevya's big eyes weren't necessarily a flaw in this regard (Elisif's clothes however seem a bit out of character XD). Anyway, the threads of your story are slowly connecting for our greatest pleasure. Well done !

 

Malicia : « It was a very good story, yes. Once she's healed Castalia will kiss Malkoran on the mouth, and Taevya'll be able to honey-honey with Davey as soon as she gets her chains removed. All that's very nice, yes.  »

Thanks, Tirloque! I've been told a few times that pacing is one of my strengths, but it's funny, I've always seen it as something I need to improve on. 

Yes, Elisif's outside is ridiculous and her vanilla appearance is horrendous. Blech! I just don't like making big adjustments "mid-chapter". I've already got the replacement ready for Chapter 5, but Elisif really plays very minor rolls anyway.

I'm curious whose eyes you are talking about? Because I didn't adjust their eye color, only the shape and size. The only color that changed was Malkor's and that is because he got a race change.

23 hours ago, Alter Native said:

 That ending cliff hanger! Looking forward to your battle scenes and screenshots!

But now it takes another half year... until Taeyva has another chance to put on some decent clothes and gets rid of her chains .

 

I think I didn't quite get if Malkor is still alive. You don't write or indicate that he's dead, but they wanted to execute him and they didn't because he was worried about Taeyva's life? Wouldn't he just say anything to have a chance of staying alive? Why did that change their mind?

 

I don't want to critique your critique but I think Collygon's character design (visually and story wise) is one of the biggest strength of his story. Btw. have you considered releasing an Erinye follower mod? I think she's very unique and really stands out from the other characters. 

 

I think you're a bit overly critical with Elisif, I think she had like one screenshot and probably her modded default outfit .

I'm glad you're looking forward to the battle scenes, because I'm dreading the 10 hour session that will be required to take them xD Haha, but seriously though, thank you!

Darn. Should've written that Malkor scene better. He wasn't worried about Taeyva, he was worried about Castalia. Taeyva and Torund would have killed him then even if he begged for his own life. They don't trust Malkor and seeing him beg that way would be treated as a manipulation. What changed their mind was the sudden change of character by him when he begged for Castalia's life. Begging itself is unbecoming of him, but begging for the life of another is completely uncharacteristic. To Taeyva and Torund, this is proof to them he really is telling the truth about this being his only option. In part 2 there will be more on this in a scene between Torund and Malkor which will hopefully shed more light on the situation and Torund's opinion on the outcome.

22 hours ago, Tirloque said:

To my understanding, in normal times Malkor would've never begged an enemy to be spared, nor thought anything but for his own sake. So Taevya and Torundr were taken aback not only to see him beg, but to see him beg for the sake of another ; which is an act of love. That does also hints that a glimpse of the Malkor he was before being prophet (and who cared for Castalia) survived, but only Castalia herself could fully appreciate that.

 

It is very possible him realizing Castalia sacrificed herself in order to spare him from Erinye shook Malkor off the treacherous image he had of Castalia.

The more the work gets close to perfection, the more I'll dare criticize on smaller details, as the core parts are assumed like being mastered. And so it's probably not on them that the author could improve.

^ This is a very keen analysis and is very close to the truth. 

I'm not particularly fond of the idea of releasing a follower mod. I've gotten a lot of requests and I just don't like seeing my characters being used in ways that don't fit them. If I do release some of them as followers, it will be after TFOA concludes, and it will never be Taeyva. Erinye though, maybe. However I might release her horns in a mod idea I have of all the headgear I've made. We'll see.

17 hours ago, Tirloque said:

 

Which is why I mentioned it. It strikes me from time to time depending on the angle of view on Taevya, and this time on Elyvaea : the eyes and mouth seem smaller, and the pronounced faces features of some characters do seem.. well, less pronounced. And nearly all of them had similar redesign, even those who hadn't eyes as big as the original Taevya ; so there's a small loss of personality IMO. Take the example below, which one would seem like having more personality ?

 

 

But anyway, artistic choices, personal preferences.

 

 

Not to be abrasive, but you couldn't have picked a worse comparison xD The second (older) image, in my opinion, is the most powerful image I have of Elyvaea. I LOVE this shot. It hinted at her intentions without requiring much text or speech. The lighting is perfect and the angle amplifies the anger and suspicion she is feeling at the time. With the focus purely on her, it shows that she is alone in the task. Gerruck was removed from the shot entirely despite being only ~5 feet away.

The first (newer) image is, well, bland. Null has horrendous lighting. And with my updated ENB, the old filter I used to use makes it even worse. But I have to work with what I have. 

What you don't see is the behind the scenes. Elyvaea actually updated with every chapter. In chapter one she had a very round face. If not for the yellow skin and ears that rarely showed, she would not have been recognizable as a high elf. 

In chapter two I did minor changes, just to the head to make it more elongated.

But as you can see, here eyes are just way to anime. They're HUGE! Furthermore, her war paint doesn't represent who she is. She is a ranger who purposefully does not conform to traditional high elf culture. The regal style warpaint she used to have made no sense with that.

Personally, I am very happy with the Restitched changes, for the most part. Sometimes I miss Malkor's extremely angry resting expression, but that was a bane. Particularly with Malkor, his previous face was so angry looking, it was pretty much impossible to get him to convey any other emotion. His new face allows me to customize it much more with the console than I could before. 

2 hours ago, ther1pper said:

Oh shit, now its getting real crazy, hyped for the next chapter.

Thanks, r1p!  

33 minutes ago, Collygon said:

I'm curious whose eyes you are talking about? Because I didn't adjust their eye color, only the shape and size. The only color that changed was Malkor's and that is because he got a race change.

Well that's precisely to the shape and size that I'm referring to. It's like if they almost all shrunk on main characters (Taevya, Talen, Elyvaea are the ones where I do notice it the most). Taevya had big eyes, but at the same time she was supposed to be a prophet, which justified it partly. I wonder if the correction applied on her isn't too strong, and if it really had to be applied to characters that had smaller eyes. But hey, those are aesthetics and tastes related. So that's minor.

33 minutes ago, Collygon said:

Not to be abrasive, but you couldn't have picked a worse comparison xD The second (older) image, in my opinion, is the most powerful image I have of Elyvaea. I LOVE this shot. It hinted at her intentions without requiring much text or speech. The lighting is perfect and the angle amplifies the anger and suspicion she is feeling at the time. With the focus purely on her, it shows that she is alone in the task. Gerruck was removed from the shot entirely despite being only ~5 feet away.

 

The first (newer) image is, well, bland. Null has horrendous lighting. And with my updated ENB, the old filter I used to use makes it even worse. But I have to work with what I have. 

 

What you don't see is the behind the scenes. Elyvaea actually updated with every chapter. In chapter one she had a very round face. If not for the yellow skin and ears that rarely showed, she would not have been recognizable as a high elf. 

 

 

In chapter two I did minor changes, just to the head to make it more elongated.

 

 

But as you can see, here eyes are just way to anime. They're HUGE! Furthermore, her war paint doesn't represent who she is. She is a ranger who purposefully does not conform to traditional high elf culture. The regal style warpaint she used to have made no sense with that.

Well, when you choose images to fuel a point of view, you try to get those that look better on your side. XD

Regardless, I didn't notice Elyvaea's first set of changes indeed. But I didn't feel like her eyes were anime like, some people do have eyes of that size. The only ones that felt real large where Taevya's, just like Elijah Wood's for example. But even those aren't anime like, which can be unnaturally huge. Just a reminder below of what's japanese anime eyes (nearly 25-30% of the face here). And I've seen bigger. ^^

About Malkor, he just looks different. Not worse (aside of the posterized warpaint maybe). But if that allows you better expressions, that's for the best.

The eyes definitely never seemed anime like to me either. 

I suppose if everyone is being picky my only question would be why the vanilla hair on so many characters? It really stands out compared to everything else which is so perfect. 

4 hours ago, Collygon said:

I'm glad you're looking forward to the battle scenes, because I'm dreading the 10 hour session that will be required to take them xD Haha, but seriously though, thank you!

It's kind of terrible I know... It's cool when it's done, but the problem is that it just takes an hour or so to even set everything up and when you close the game you need another 30 minutes to get everything look good again. So you better be very motivated on a Sunday... 

4 hours ago, Collygon said:

Darn. Should've written that Malkor scene better. He wasn't worried about Taeyva, he was worried about Castalia. Taeyva and Torund would have killed him then even if he begged for his own life. They don't trust Malkor and seeing him beg that way would be treated as a manipulation. What changed their mind was the sudden change of character by him when he begged for Castalia's life. Begging itself is unbecoming of him, but begging for the life of another is completely uncharacteristic. To Taeyva and Torund, this is proof to them he really is telling the truth about this being his only option. In part 2 there will be more on this in a scene between Torund and Malkor which will hopefully shed more light on the situation and Torund's opinion on the outcome.

Thanks for clearing that up, I must have misread at some point.

Btw. I think changing character models are just a normal part of working on a story like this over years. You get better and notice things that need to get fixed. I changed Nora and even other characters multiple times for the better without people noticing. 

She used to have the belly and pelvis tattoos that suddenly disappeared towards the end of chapter 6 when I realized how much I like her looks more in the flashback scene without the tattoos. 

@Tirloque:

6 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Well that's precisely to the shape and size that I'm referring to. It's like if they almost all shrunk on main characters (Taevya, Talen, Elyvaea are the ones where I do notice it the most). Taevya had big eyes, but at the same time she was supposed to be a prophet, which justified it partly. I wonder if the correction applied on her isn't too strong, and if it really had to be applied to characters that had smaller eyes. But hey, those are aesthetics and tastes related. So that's minor.

Well, when you choose images to fuel a point of view, you try to get those that look better on your side. XD

 

Regardless, I didn't notice Elyvaea's first set of changes indeed. But I didn't feel like her eyes were anime like, some people do have eyes of that size. The only ones that felt real large where Taevya's, just like Elijah Wood's for example. But even those aren't anime like, which can be unnaturally huge. Just a reminder below of what's japanese anime eyes (nearly 25-30% of the face here). And I've seen bigger. ^^

 

About Malkor, he just looks different. Not worse (aside of the posterized warpaint maybe). But if that allows you better expressions, that's for the best.

 

 

Haha, fair enough. They're for sure not "anime" eyes. To me they just felt too big. You are correct though, almost every character who went through the Restitched had their eyes significantly shrunk. I remember that being one of my main goals at the time. Restitched was designed to make the characters look more like real life humans while also allowing for smoother mfg console expressions.

5 hours ago, SpyVsPie said:

I suppose if everyone is being picky my only question would be why the vanilla hair on so many characters? It really stands out compared to everything else which is so perfect. 

Believe it or not, I actually like a lot of the vanilla hair. Especially for males. Furthermore, most of the male hair packs that exist are pretty bad for a fantasy setting. Hair gel doesn't exist in Skyrim. I try to make each hairstyle my characters have be somewhat simple and realistic to the world. Obviously it can't be perfect (such as Elyvaea's hair), but I want it to make sense.

2 hours ago, Alter Native said:

Thanks for clearing that up, I must have misread at some point.

 

Btw. I think changing character models are just a normal part of working on a story like this over years. You get better and notice things that need to get fixed. I changed Nora and even other characters multiple times for the better without people noticing. 

She used to have the belly and pelvis tattoos that suddenly disappeared towards the end of chapter 6 when I realized how much I like her looks more in the flashback scene without the tattoos. 

 

Glad it makes sense! And yeah, most stories have the characters change as it goes on. It really does go exactly as you say. We notice places for improvements and act on them.

Have you ever read such a captivating, engrossing story that when you try to describe it to anyone you realize that the words simply fail to give it justice? So instead of giving a thoughtful, detailed critique and praise you end up telling people "I liked it...no no, you don't understand - I really really really liked that book! It's so good!"

This is how I always feel about your works. I honestly want to write something helpful, or analytical or at least intelligent but all I end up with is: I really really liked it. Can we have some more of the tale, please? ?

17 hours ago, Collygon said:

 

Believe it or not, I actually like a lot of the vanilla hair. Especially for males. Furthermore, most of the male hair packs that exist are pretty bad for a fantasy setting. Hair gel doesn't exist in Skyrim. I try to make each hairstyle my characters have be somewhat simple and realistic to the world. Obviously it can't be perfect (such as Elyvaea's hair), but I want it to make sense.

 

Well fair enough. There are some newer mods that try to keep the male hairstyles more lore friendly while still improving them iirc. I personally like the more modern hair but of course everyone's take on SKyrim is different. 

16 hours ago, Devianna said:

Have you ever read such a captivating, engrossing story that when you try to describe it to anyone you realize that the words simply fail to give it justice? So instead of giving a thoughtful, detailed critique and praise you end up telling people "I liked it...no no, you don't understand - I really really really liked that book! It's so good!"

 

This is how I always feel about your works. I honestly want to write something helpful, or analytical or at least intelligent but all I end up with is: I really really liked it. Can we have some more of the tale, please? ?

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

?Making me blush! That's such incredible praise, thank you! I feel the same way now, haha. I have no idea how to say how much much your words mean to me in response, so I'll just say: Yes, there will be more!  

3 hours ago, SpyVsPie said:

 

Well fair enough. There are some newer mods that try to keep the male hairstyles more lore friendly while still improving them iirc. I personally like the more modern hair but of course everyone's take on SKyrim is different. 

Maybe I'll give the hair mods another look for future characters in other stories. But that is just my personal taste. You know much I love your characters looks, so while I may do it this way for my stories, I appreciate and love authors who do it their ways as well!

On 8/4/2019 at 12:04 PM, Collygon said:

?Making me blush! That's such incredible praise, thank you! I feel the same way now, haha. I have no idea how to say how much much your words mean to me in response, so I'll just say: Yes, there will be more!  

 

Maybe I'll give the hair mods another look for future characters in other stories. But that is just my personal taste. You know much I love your characters looks, so while I may do it this way for my stories, I appreciate and love authors who do it their ways as well!

Don't worry, I wasn't taking it personally ?

Awesome entry as always!

13 hours ago, bodabira 01 said:

Awesome entry as always!

Thanks!  

Sick! This story is one that I will always come back to!

16 hours ago, KillinCuzICan said:

Sick! This story is one that I will always come back to!

Always awesome to hear! Thank you!