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Random episodes and tales from the northern province of Tamriel

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Yes. That was nothing, yet - [Under arrest - 2]

What a mess! We were arrested in Riften and nobody told us anything about the charges against us, yet. I doubt we will ever hear about them. That's what I had learned during my last visits in imperial dungeons. Flashback, Pale Pass Fort, 6th of Sun's Height, 201 E4 Now, here in Riften, they take no chances with us. Even inside of the closed prison gates, we are kept in iron. And we will be dumped into some damp and dirty lice infested hole any minute now. Jai

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What! Why are you looking at me that way?

"Good morning old man! You are standing here alone at the side of the road before sunrise? Isn't it a bit boring? Do you need help?" Old man: "Good morning to you, Nord. I am waiting for a good death"   "Good death? Those two dead sabre cats at your feet weren't good enough for you? For sure you have killed them. By the smell and the traces on the ground they died not a single hour ago!" Old man: "Dont mock me. Of course I killed them. You Nords don't understa

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You can't do that! I'm innoce.... mmmpfh [Under arrest - 1]

My little adventure to bust the skooma trade in the harbour two days ago was quite sucessful so far. I got some background information, I got the endorsement of the Jarl, earned some gold and Tamriel has two skeevers less who won't sell their poison to the poor anymore.   A slightly foggy and very early morning awaits us after a refreshing night in the Bee and Barb.  The same slight fog clouds my head a little, since Ciri and I enjoyed a bottle of wine or two for our little succes

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The Raid

The Jarl of Riften is concerned because of her peoples health and welfare. So nice of her. She really cares for even the smallest souls in Riften. She suggested that I ask someone some ethical  "questions" and to convince him of a business alternative. I think that she gave me some very good guidance on the best course of action. Clearly she is not only a caring but also a wise leader   And that's exactly what I will do!   "Ciri, please wait here. The talking and et

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I have nothing to wear!

I have absolutely nothing to wear!   ...and I can't decide, what I should lend from a good friend of mine.   The thing is, that I have to appear tonight at Elisif's court. We were allowed an audience and want to convince her and her advisors and asslickers to alllow a traditional festival for the common folks. As things are,  it would do no good if I would rush into her palace with my usual woodland attire.   In fact, I have already been told that THAT looks ra

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Cloaka Maxima

Solitude, Hearthfire   The city is crowded and bristling with life. If it's the war or the busy market days this time of the year, I' don't know.   The Winking Skeever, prominent Inn near the city gate Many guests frequent this highly overrated inn, but that's the same with every other tavern in the city. And it leaves little options to stay at a better or cheaper place. But at least the bard is worth her money.   .. and they have the famous sp

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Amorous Adventure - Lydia on the prowl

See, over there! We have reached the sacred place. Isn't it lovely?     Lydia! Please, let me explain it again.   THIS is the statue of Dibella. Not Mara. And that over here is her shrine. Dibella's shrine. You got it?   No? Not yet? OK then. Let me show you the difference...  Oooh, don't worry my dear, it's very easy, once you got it.  And you will like it. I promise!   Now, please kneel.Take off your gloves, touch th

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Oddities in Skyrim - I - The mighty beast

So, we came upon this crossroads and had to decide which direction to take.   Fate had decided for the right path to Dawnstar. So a few hours later, we met a friendly couple of hunters at their camp above the road.   We build a second campfire and contibuted our own hunting success to the small party.   ... when suddenly,  they went alert...   "VICTORY OR SOVNGARDE!"   We are under attack? A creature? Where is this beast? Is it b

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Can a lady really wear anything? Is heavy armor fashionable?

We killed that notorious vampiress at sunset. Funny, she had roughly the same size with her clunky heavy armor. So we cleaned it a bit and try it on:     Now what? Does it fit?   Hmmmmm, let me think. Inigo, what's your opinion? Inigo? Could you please pay attention?   Naaa, ok. It's heavy, it's dented, it smells ... yes it's crap! Let's see if anyone wants to buy it.   Aaah, much better in your own clothes:   Time for

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