I was dating a girl for 3 months I don’t know what happened

[SAKE]

I [had been dating this girl for 3 months I am western and she is Chinese 

I’ve never really had a girlfriend before, or really been interested in meeting someone until I moved to this new city. I don’t speak the language in this city. I’m sorry for the long post.

I met this girl 3 months ago randomly, she seemed nice and sweet at the start. She speaks my home language really well so it was nice to meet someone else who can.

 

I asked some Chinese friends and they said her actions do not align with a traditional Chinese girl. Especially when she was saying she wanted to talk to other people and be with other people to find true love…and I’m right next to her.

Some things to note, not in any particular order;

• * We hadn’t kissed
• * Most of the time she would only come over if I paid for the cab
• * We both agreed to take things slow, I was the one to suggest this because I thought it was moving a little fast.
• * When she comes over we always cuddle and snuggle together on the couch
• * We stay in different rooms because she says her parents would get mad
• * We agreed that if there’s a problem in the relationship, the best way to resolve it is to communicate and talk to each other about it
• * Whenever I try to talk to her about the relationship she doesn’t want to talk about it and tells me she needs more time, she gets upset
• * She had me call her by a nickname from the start, and was reluctant to tell me her real name
• * She was ok with me hugging her, but wouldn’t hug me back, and she stopped that
• * She asks me to call her more but whenever I try, she doesn’t answer, gets annoyed and tells me to text instead.
• * It was always at my place we would hang out, I tried suggesting hanging out at her place but she didn’t want me to know where she lived
• * If we had to meet, it would always be somewhere near her place.
• * She told me to wait for her at a meeting place, but didn’t show up at the arranged time, I tried messaging and calling but no response, I ended up waiting for almost an hour on the street.
• * By the second or third date, she jumped right in asking if I was the prince she was waiting for and asked me to be her prince
• * She told me she was shy, insecure, and clingy
• * She told me she likes a muscular man, I go to the gym but I’m not muscular
• * She says she’s looking for someone to lift her out of poverty
• * She didn’t want people to see us together in public, because she was afraid “they would think things”
• * she doesn’t want to hold hands or lock arms outside of the estate I live, unless no one is around or it’s dark
• * On a couple of occasions I invited her to group meals with a couple of friends and she wanted to go, but by the time we were supposed to meet she wouldn’t reply to messages until hours later and
• * When plans were made and things changed, she wouldn’t keep me updated that the plans changed
• * I went on a trip. The day I return she offers to meet me at the airport to help me get home. It’s late, I get off the plane and she’s not there. I try calling, no answer. I call again a little later and she tells me she’s not coming.

We hang out at my place and she stays over more, we become more physical and close with each other but no sexual interaction. I find out that she’s saving herself for marriage.

When she comes over it’s usually late in the evening, she eats, sits with me to watch something for an hour or two, then goes to bed. Sometimes she would go straight to bed after eating or would watch something on her phone instead of talking with me.

When she’s in bed, I stay up and I can still hear her talking on the phone or watching videos. She has asked me to lie next to her in the bed before, so I ask if I can join her to watch the show, but she says no.

In the morning, after eating, she often says she has to immediately leave.

We go out, but she says she doesn’t like my clothes, that people will think I’m homosexual because the clothes have patterns and designs and we should look at different clothes. I tell her it’s ok to not like some things, everyone has different styles but I’m open to listening to her opinion and suggestions.

These past few weeks, she kept bringing up that we go and looks at dogs together that week and buy one right away. She talks about this in text and in person when she comes over. I tell her it’s something I might consider later so she says to buy it when we come back from the trip. This seems like a rash decision to me, we’re not officially together, she's said before she can't move in because her parents would be angry if they find she’s staying with a boy.

She’s been telling me how much she wants to go to a different city, and we both like the idea of going together. We decided to make plans to go away for a couple of nights, but stay in different rooms.

She was asking me if I felt relaxed with her and enjoyed everything I say yes and she says yes.

For convenience, we agreed that she should stay over the night before so we can go to the train station together. I don’t hear from her so i send a message and she’s not coming over.

We meet in the morning and get the train, she seems happy and relaxed and fine. Really excited.

When we get to the city, we explore and have some fun looking around.

She really wants to go to a club together, it’s her first time, and she really wants to have 6 cocktails. We promise each other we won’t leave each other. She has a couple of drinks and I record the live music but she’s disappeared and I get worried. I look around but can’t find her anywhere I leave the bar to look outside and go back in and she’s laughing saying it was just a joke. I brush it off.

I start enjoying myself we have another drink and I’m dancing, but she pushes me into some people and says she doesn’t want people to think she’s with me. She wants to talk and have fun with other people and not with me.

I try to talk to her at the bar, but she keeps turning away from me and pushes me away. There’s another guy wanting her to drink more and I keep telling him she’s had enough. I try to talk to her and she keeps pushing me away and turning away. People are saying some things. I stand back and tell her to stop, and tell her if she wants me to leave I will. But she gets really upset and storms out.

I have to chase after her and sit on the road in front to get her to stop because she’s drunk. I take her back to her room. After what she said in the bar, the relationship changed. I try to talk to her about her behaviour and what she said to me at the club but she just laughs and just says it was a crazy night. I try to talk to her about our relationship, but she won’t and says we’ve already talked about it before. She keeps saying she feels pressure but she won’t talk to me about it.

We explore the city some more, she says she wants to go out to drink later but not with me. She asks me to take her back to the club and wait for her. She wants to have a drink with me after the club but I say no and we’ll have one when we return home instead.

She sends me a message early in the morning when we were going to be returning home asking if I was at the front desk. I didn’t see the message until later, so I reply but get no response. I’m a little worried about her since she was drinking and was a little emotional. I got to the front desk and check if she’s there and ask if she had been waiting, she hadn’t.

I go to her room and gently knock on the door, no answer. I figure she’s still sleeping. I go back to bed for a while, there’s a knock on my door. I open the door thinking it’s her but she called the POLICE.

They tell me she heard a knock on the door and she asked the hotel staff to call the police. They tell me she’s very sensitive and thinks the relationship is going too fast. She doesn’t want me to contact her. I tell them we were going to organise how much each of us paid when we got back home, so they talk to her and she agrees to pay me her share. I feel so worried and concerned about her right now but they told me not to contact her. She blocked me from social media.

Did I do something wrong that warranted the police being called?

Were there some red flags I didn’t see?

What can I do to handle the situation better in the future?

Edited February 21, 2024 by SAKE

[grassbrigadee]

Choosing to date someone in 2023-2024 is the first thing you did wrong.

The second thing you did wrong and warranted the police is being too nice. If I were you, in your next relationship. Don't ever let that shit happen with your girl. If a girl straight up did that shit to me, MAJOR red flags. Don't always be the NiceGuy™️ - trust me bubby.

Over all, you handled it fine. But clearly /something/ happened overnight, and I truly mean this in the most kindest way possible, but I think you were cucked my good sire.

Make do with what you will, good luck, and try not to be too kind and unquestioning. Be more demanding and use your emotions and be stern. Do not be a stoic.

Also she's a cunt for calling the police LMAO

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

Okay... "Chinese girls are just weird" confirmed, I guess.

 

I mean, don't get me wrong, this one was a whole lot weirder than the one I was going out with for a few weeks, but some of the behaviors you described sounded familiar. In my case she was an immigrant, about 26 or 30, if I remember correctly, I was a 20 year old virgin at the time, if I remember correctly, never even dated before that so was COMPLETELY inexperienced, and probably missed a number of things as well as said a number of dumb things, I don't really remember that well anymore. Things never really went anywhere, originally we started hanging out so she could teach me Chinese, another thing that never really went anywhere, eventually we started going out just to go out, I'm not even sure if I was interpreting things correctly but it certainly seemed like it could be fair to call our outings harmless "dates", but she did act kind of strange like that at times. Eventually I asked about what her life was like back where she came from in China, and the conversation shifted to the topic of her having a boyfriend over there, and I remember her pausing for a minute, as if something had just occurred to her, we abruptly stopped spending time together after that.

 

She contacted me again a few years later, wanting to know where I was in life, not doing as well as I am now, I can tell you that much, something that became apparent to her, and after that we never spoke again.

 

The girl in your story is definitely full of red flags, probably someone I would have dated as a curiosity, but not much more than that, I would have been expecting things to end, knowing the things I know now. Don't feel too bad, you're not the weird one, she was, 100%.

Edited February 21, 2024 by Z0mBieP00Nani

[vagonumero13]

On 2/21/2024 at 5:33 AM, SAKE said:

 

Were there some red flags I didn’t see?

 

 

Seriously, dude! The whole story is an immense red flag! I can sympathize with you because I also had a relationship with a problematic girl long ago, but damn, the girl you're describing is even much worse.

 

As to how avoid this in the future... well, you should be aware of one thing: mental health in your partner is important (and it is obvious that person doesn't have a very good mental health). This may sound shitty, but you should discriminate against women with mental problems. Even in the case you had mental problems too, you should still do it. A woman with mental health problems can ruin your live, it's not something that should be taken lightly.

And when in doubt, remember: it is better to die of fapping than living in a hell with a toxic person.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

One of the things that can make the relationship game difficult is the current culture we live in. On the one hand most women expect the guy to make the first move, on the other hand it can be really easy to be accused and of something and possibly charged with a bogus crime, so the response to that is to NOT be the one to make the first move. Especially when you lack experience.

 

It seems to me like, in this case, women need to adapt their strategy to the current times, maybe it's time for them to start being more "assertive".

[SAKE]

16 hours ago, Z0mBieP00Nani said:

One of the things that can make the relationship game difficult is the current culture we live in. On the one hand most women expect the guy to make the first move, on the other hand it can be really easy to be accused and of something and possibly charged with a bogus crime, so the response to that is to NOT be the one to make the first move. Especially when you lack experience.

 

It seems to me like, in this case, women need to adapt their strategy to the current times, maybe it's time for them to start being more "assertive".

Now that you mention being charged with something, when we were leaving the club the second time there were a lot of young girls passed out on floor, she was making some comments about them.

She said she was hungry, so we go get some food and she tells me that she wants to drink more. She’s says she wants to have a drink with me, and asks what happens if she gets too drunk. She answers her own question and asks me to promise her that I won’t stay in her room when I take her back to the hotel. 
 

I told her that’s not the kind of person I am and wouldn’t take advantage of someone. I said I didn’t want to have a drink that night. I’m wondering now if she accused me of something much worse had I gone for that drink, or if she planned to accuse me of something all along? 😬

Edited February 23, 2024 by SAKE

[Guest]

> My Prince's father had similar problems with a few girls he dated before he got married. Even the one he married behaved similarly to the one(s) you described. Anyhow, he had an old lady as his friend who told him once: "We, women, would take your all hand if you even offer us one finger. You must be wise and never show the fullness of your love to your partner/wife." (something like that. I just translated it from Croatian). I agree with her although not all women are like that. Me and my Ivy aren't like that.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

18 hours ago, Evaloves4 said:

all hand

 

whole hand*

 

But yes, most women seem to be like that. I've established myself as the guy who fixes stuff at work, and the women there are often asking me for favors or to fix things.. until I appeared too happy to be helping them or to be getting attention from them (that goes further off on another tangent that I don't really care to elaborate on), now they are more reluctant to ask me for stuff directly, even though for the most part what most of them seem to think about me is probably not nearly as bad as they seem to think it is.

[Guest]

34 minutes ago, Z0mBieP00Nani said:

 

whole hand*

 

But yes, most women seem to be like that. I've established myself as the guy who fixes stuff at work, and the women there are often asking me for favors or to fix things.. until I appeared too happy to be helping them or to be getting attention from them (that goes further off on another tangent that I don't really care to elaborate on), now they are more reluctant to ask me for stuff directly, even though for the most part what most of them seem to think about me is probably not nearly as bad as they seem to think it is.

> Thanks for the grammar tip. In our language 'whole' and 'all' is the same, I mean, we make no difference between them.

Edited February 24, 2024 by Evaloves4

[LewdPain]

That was a crazy story. Never let anyone walk all over you like that next time. Show more primal instincts and aggression, towards people that try and take advantage of you like that. You seem like a awesome bf though. She was doing wayyy to much and lying like hell. 

[Guest]

I've never dated before, but I have a friend who was in a horrible relationship like this. She dated another woman who was the worst. Her ex-girlfriend never let her hang out with her friends, always made her feel bad for not doing something she wanted to or asking her ex to do something she didn't want to, always looked through her stuff to make sure she wasn't talking to someone else, made fun of her for her fetishes and "weird body traits," among other things. The worst part was my friend dated this bitch for, if I remember correctly, 8 fucking years only to find out the bitch had been cheating on her. My friend was so heartbroken that she nearly took her own life.

My friend has admitted that, in hindsight, it was so evident that her ex never loved her. However, she was too blinded by her desire for love that she chose not to see it. Of course, now she's in a 4-way relationship and happier than ever. So, there's that.

If you want my advice, forget this bitch. There are over 8 billion people on Earth—no need to fret over 1 who clearly has no interest in you or your love. It's her loss, not yours. 👍

Edited February 24, 2024 by Guest

[Guest]

20 hours ago, Evaloves4 said:

> My Prince's father had similar problems with a few girls he dated before he got married. Even the one he married behaved similarly to the one(s) you described. Anyhow, he had an old lady as his friend who told him once: "We, women, would take your all hand if you even offer us one finger. You must be wise and never show the fullness of your love to your partner/wife." (something like that. I just translated it from Croatian). I agree with her although not all women are like that. Me and my Ivy aren't like that.

Even though I never dated her, my friend Ashley is a sweet, loving woman who deserves all the love in the world. Her girlfriends and regular friends like myself are more than happy to give it to her. So, I can confirm your statement about how not all women are "like that."

[Guest]

On 2/20/2024 at 11:27 PM, grassbrigadee said:

Also she's a cunt for calling the police LMAO

Agreed.

[TheVolcanoGodess]

On 2/20/2024 at 8:33 PM, SAKE said:

I [had been dating this girl for 3 months I am western and she is Chinese 

I’ve never really had a girlfriend before, or really been interested in meeting someone until I moved to this new city. I don’t speak the language in this city. I’m sorry for the long post.

I met this girl 3 months ago randomly, she seemed nice and sweet at the start. She speaks my home language really well so it was nice to meet someone else who can.

 

I asked some Chinese friends and they said her actions do not align with a traditional Chinese girl. Especially when she was saying she wanted to talk to other people and be with other people to find true love…and I’m right next to her.

Some things to note, not in any particular order;

• * We hadn’t kissed
• * Most of the time she would only come over if I paid for the cab
• * We both agreed to take things slow, I was the one to suggest this because I thought it was moving a little fast.
• * When she comes over we always cuddle and snuggle together on the couch
• * We stay in different rooms because she says her parents would get mad
• * We agreed that if there’s a problem in the relationship, the best way to resolve it is to communicate and talk to each other about it
• * Whenever I try to talk to her about the relationship she doesn’t want to talk about it and tells me she needs more time, she gets upset
• * She had me call her by a nickname from the start, and was reluctant to tell me her real name
• * She was ok with me hugging her, but wouldn’t hug me back, and she stopped that
• * She asks me to call her more but whenever I try, she doesn’t answer, gets annoyed and tells me to text instead.
• * It was always at my place we would hang out, I tried suggesting hanging out at her place but she didn’t want me to know where she lived
• * If we had to meet, it would always be somewhere near her place.
• * She told me to wait for her at a meeting place, but didn’t show up at the arranged time, I tried messaging and calling but no response, I ended up waiting for almost an hour on the street.
• * By the second or third date, she jumped right in asking if I was the prince she was waiting for and asked me to be her prince
• * She told me she was shy, insecure, and clingy
• * She told me she likes a muscular man, I go to the gym but I’m not muscular
• * She says she’s looking for someone to lift her out of poverty
• * She didn’t want people to see us together in public, because she was afraid “they would think things”
• * she doesn’t want to hold hands or lock arms outside of the estate I live, unless no one is around or it’s dark
• * On a couple of occasions I invited her to group meals with a couple of friends and she wanted to go, but by the time we were supposed to meet she wouldn’t reply to messages until hours later and
• * When plans were made and things changed, she wouldn’t keep me updated that the plans changed
• * I went on a trip. The day I return she offers to meet me at the airport to help me get home. It’s late, I get off the plane and she’s not there. I try calling, no answer. I call again a little later and she tells me she’s not coming.

We hang out at my place and she stays over more, we become more physical and close with each other but no sexual interaction. I find out that she’s saving herself for marriage.

When she comes over it’s usually late in the evening, she eats, sits with me to watch something for an hour or two, then goes to bed. Sometimes she would go straight to bed after eating or would watch something on her phone instead of talking with me.

When she’s in bed, I stay up and I can still hear her talking on the phone or watching videos. She has asked me to lie next to her in the bed before, so I ask if I can join her to watch the show, but she says no.

In the morning, after eating, she often says she has to immediately leave.

We go out, but she says she doesn’t like my clothes, that people will think I’m homosexual because the clothes have patterns and designs and we should look at different clothes. I tell her it’s ok to not like some things, everyone has different styles but I’m open to listening to her opinion and suggestions.

These past few weeks, she kept bringing up that we go and looks at dogs together that week and buy one right away. She talks about this in text and in person when she comes over. I tell her it’s something I might consider later so she says to buy it when we come back from the trip. This seems like a rash decision to me, we’re not officially together, she's said before she can't move in because her parents would be angry if they find she’s staying with a boy.

She’s been telling me how much she wants to go to a different city, and we both like the idea of going together. We decided to make plans to go away for a couple of nights, but stay in different rooms.

She was asking me if I felt relaxed with her and enjoyed everything I say yes and she says yes.

For convenience, we agreed that she should stay over the night before so we can go to the train station together. I don’t hear from her so i send a message and she’s not coming over.

We meet in the morning and get the train, she seems happy and relaxed and fine. Really excited.

When we get to the city, we explore and have some fun looking around.

She really wants to go to a club together, it’s her first time, and she really wants to have 6 cocktails. We promise each other we won’t leave each other. She has a couple of drinks and I record the live music but she’s disappeared and I get worried. I look around but can’t find her anywhere I leave the bar to look outside and go back in and she’s laughing saying it was just a joke. I brush it off.

I start enjoying myself we have another drink and I’m dancing, but she pushes me into some people and says she doesn’t want people to think she’s with me. She wants to talk and have fun with other people and not with me.

I try to talk to her at the bar, but she keeps turning away from me and pushes me away. There’s another guy wanting her to drink more and I keep telling him she’s had enough. I try to talk to her and she keeps pushing me away and turning away. People are saying some things. I stand back and tell her to stop, and tell her if she wants me to leave I will. But she gets really upset and storms out.

I have to chase after her and sit on the road in front to get her to stop because she’s drunk. I take her back to her room. After what she said in the bar, the relationship changed. I try to talk to her about her behaviour and what she said to me at the club but she just laughs and just says it was a crazy night. I try to talk to her about our relationship, but she won’t and says we’ve already talked about it before. She keeps saying she feels pressure but she won’t talk to me about it.

We explore the city some more, she says she wants to go out to drink later but not with me. She asks me to take her back to the club and wait for her. She wants to have a drink with me after the club but I say no and we’ll have one when we return home instead.

She sends me a message early in the morning when we were going to be returning home asking if I was at the front desk. I didn’t see the message until later, so I reply but get no response. I’m a little worried about her since she was drinking and was a little emotional. I got to the front desk and check if she’s there and ask if she had been waiting, she hadn’t.

I go to her room and gently knock on the door, no answer. I figure she’s still sleeping. I go back to bed for a while, there’s a knock on my door. I open the door thinking it’s her but she called the POLICE.

They tell me she heard a knock on the door and she asked the hotel staff to call the police. They tell me she’s very sensitive and thinks the relationship is going too fast. She doesn’t want me to contact her. I tell them we were going to organise how much each of us paid when we got back home, so they talk to her and she agrees to pay me her share. I feel so worried and concerned about her right now but they told me not to contact her. She blocked me from social media.

Did I do something wrong that warranted the police being called?

Were there some red flags I didn’t see?

What can I do to handle the situation better in the future?

I don't think you were the issue. I think you just have to let her go.

If you want to pursue this, you could try to check-in and see if you can pinpoint the issue. But I would say let her go.

 

I, myself, had a similar experience with a Chinese guy (Nothing against the Chinese, but coincidently just happened to be the case). He suddenly had a spike in anxiety and became really paranoid about everything we were doing. To which I just had to dump him for his sake.

[NotKinkyEnough]

sounds to me like she has barriers which prevent her being close to someone. There are all kinds of psychologies which can lead to this. All seem connected to other social dysfunction. I do not want to guess at names for this but a few probably cross everyones mind. 

 

but, she wanted to try.

 

so she tried, and in you found someone who could be patient and accommodate her dysfunctions, but she still needed to socially distance even after these slender interactions.

 

ultimately what she needs is focused and knowledgeable (professional) intervention, to discover her limits and triggers, to find ways to express what she actually needs.

 

there's no amount of caring or understanding that you could have manifested to help her.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

14 hours ago, Evaloves4 said:

> Thanks for the grammar tip. In our language 'whole' and 'all' is the same, I mean, we make no difference between them.

That's what I suspected.

[porkybork]

10 hours ago, NotKinkyEnough said:

there's no amount of caring or understanding that you could have manifested to help her.

Speaking as someone who struggles with mental illness, this is a huge thing people need to keep in mind. I get that people want to be there for the people they care about, but at some point you need to step back and say “hey, I’m not qualified for this. I care about you, but I think you need to seek professional help.” You’re not responsible for other people’s mental health, and taking on that burden can build some serious resentment and actually make the situation worse.

 

As for OP, I suggest just cutting her out of your life and moving forward. Dwelling on this shit just isn’t productive. Hope you find someone better for you.

[DeepBlueSouth]

On 2/21/2024 at 12:27 AM, grassbrigadee said:

Choosing to date someone in 2023-2024 is the first thing you did wrong.

 

unfortunately.... this. unless you're rich, trad, [or sick enough to believe you are trad but know better], fuggetaboutit [and even then it's only for awhile, half my rich friends are divorced wondering wtf happened, the other half are conservative, in loveless marriages, and too drunk and or addicted to know any better].

 

I started college at fifteen [good luck] and I graduated twenty years ago in may. the environment for anything but hookups has been positively isotopic for twenty years; mostly because austerity, "small c" christianity, and fascism replaced the global movements towards workers rights/individual financial independence, sex positivity/feminism, and gender/single person equality in the west. planning a relationship by meeting people you have stuff in common with and openly communicating your desires, likes, interests, and future goals for partnership has about as much potential as your weird uncle's strategy to win the lottery will be for his retirement: it is possible, but not because of much of any planning or strategy on your or your partner{s}' decisions.

 

this era is frightening the religious traditional communities to their cores, so they are literally making a last stand against the rest of civilization writ large. they will inevitably fail, but they are death rolling like a lassoed crocodile rn. I am 40 this year, so I am trying to keep my finances and health up until the chips fall and we finally get what most of our parents and grandparents generations pretend they did not have; a fair shot, poverty notwithstanding. poverty and happiness are possible together, but not with the way we are being encouraged to breed like penned livestock, and pay half of our income in taxes until/unless we have our own young. [it shouldn't be long, the economy can't handle much more austerity without a{nother} global recession, hang in there and keep getting more fun, polite, and interesting.]

 

on a personal note, I had a VERY similar two year relationship that I chose to end myself about a year ago. I can't deny that they set a pretty high bar [nowhere near my first of anything nor theirs, ftr] nor will I lie and say I am over it [it was the second time I left them for this same reason, not going back unless they ask me this time]. since then, I have had one friendship rapidly turned to an unwanted proposal and a kinda sorta she won't let me put a word on whatever we are [beyond close friends who are far too comfortable around each another]. honestly, I would love to have a partner who loves having me, but beyond that I don't really care if I ever have relations with anyone else ever again. I finally get the afab perspective on sex, I can just do this myself without all the trouble and risk and heartbreak.

Edited February 24, 2024 by DeepBlueSouth
added personal element

[redshift1979]

We're a doomed species. Well....a doomed civilization anyway. 

 

Perhaps it's for the best. Better luck next time lol.

[DeepBlueSouth]

probably would be for the best, but apes have survived far worse.... only to come back to the brink every 200 or so years for a dozen or so humans egos to be appeased.

 

if one puts down their own pen today, that will be the story of them. just keep writing, I mean, if ya wanna.

[You1510]

On 2/22/2024 at 9:26 AM, Z0mBieP00Nani said:

One of the things that can make the relationship game difficult is the current culture we live in. On the one hand most women expect the guy to make the first move, on the other hand it can be really easy to be accused and of something and possibly charged with a bogus crime, so the response to that is to NOT be the one to make the first move. Especially when you lack experience.

 

It seems to me like, in this case, women need to adapt their strategy to the current times, maybe it's time for them to start being more "assertive".

I think you are missing the point of why women are like this. It's because men have made the world so much more dangerous. Women want love, so they want to be approached yes, but they also must be careful because there are creeps and crazy individuals that could easily overpower them. Based on this fact alone, do you think a woman would want to approach a man? That's like inviting danger into your life. The duality is contradicting and puts women in between a rock and hard place, but it also does the same for men. The consequences of our actions! Wow! Your resolution to this disarray is not really a resolution at all and completely glazes over the actual problem.

[Guest]

On 2/26/2024 at 1:06 AM, You1510 said:

I think you are missing the point of why women are like this. It's because men have made the world so much more dangerous. Women want love, so they want to be approached yes, but they also must be careful because there are creeps and crazy individuals that could easily overpower them. Based on this fact alone, do you think a woman would want to approach a man? That's like inviting danger into your life. The duality is contradicting and puts women in between a rock and hard place, but it also does the same for men. The consequences of our actions! Wow! Your resolution to this disarray is not really a resolution at all and completely glazes over the actual problem.

Well what is the actual problem, in your opinion? From my perspective, the real problem is people over-thinking things and worrying about pointless crap. And I say that as someone who has, of course, done that. We've all done it (except those among us who are psychopaths).

[KoolHndLuke]

You get confused, get your little heart broke, learn and move on. When you're so obviously being used... use them back to find someone who's actually interested in you. Be thankful for a clean break  that didn't ruin you financially/socially I say.

 

Edited March 6, 2024 by KoolHndLuke

[docfreska]

It sounds like you went through a really tough and confusing experience, and I’m sorry you had to deal with that. From what you’ve described, it seems there were several red flags, such as her reluctance to communicate openly, inconsistent behavior, and a lack of respect for your feelings. Relationships require mutual effort, understanding, and respect, and it doesn’t seem like these were balanced here. In the future, creating boundaries and ensuring clear communication from the start can help. It’s also important to prioritize your well-being and seek connections in environments that promote safety and trust. Online platforms often incorporate safety features like verification processes, giving users more control and confidence. If you’re considering meeting new people, find hookups near me is one such platform where you can connect in a safe and manageable way.

Edited December 26, 2024 by docfreska