Can't Relate

[KoolHndLuke]

8 billion people (estimated world population)... of which we all share so much commonality. Yet we are all so different it seems. Islands linked in a sea of communication.

 

It's not that we want to be so different I think- we just are.

 

Personally, I've spent most of my life isolated because most times I've tried to relate to others.... I was shut out or was expected to change for them.

 

What is it you wish you could relate to others about more? Have them understand?

 

Wish I could have related better to my gf's dealing with physical pain. But as she said so many times, I simply couldn't know unless I'd gone through the same.

 

 

Edited March 25, 2023 by KoolHndLuke

[2dk2c.2]

29 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

8 billion people... of which we all share so much commonality. Yet we are all so different it seems. Islands linked in a sea of communication.

 

It's not that we want to be so different I think- we just are.

 

Personally, I've spent most of my life isolated because most times I've tried to relate to others.... I was shut out or was expected to change for them.

 

What is it you wish you could relate to others about more? Have them understand?

 

 

Stop banning stuff you don't agree with.

wut? O, just mumb;ing, put away the pitchforks...

[KoolHndLuke]

7 minutes ago, 2dk2c.2 said:

Stop banning stuff you don't agree with.

wut? O, just mumb;ing, put away the pitchforks...

More a measure by those who refuse to even try to relate I think. Was there anything in particular you've had or seen banned that you wish hadn't been?

[2dk2c.2]

4 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

More a measure by those who refuse to even try to relate I think. Was there anything in particular you've had or seen banned that you wish hadn't been?

1984, to kill a mockingbird, a wrinkle in time...
And those are from memory, and I haven't any to speak of.

[KoolHndLuke]

Wish I'd had a wife and kids. That's a pretty huge one. Pretty sure I'd have been a good father. Not so sure I'd have been a good husband.

 

But the question almost always comes up in adult conversations. Always felt it was a convenient way to cut me out of it.

 

 

Edited March 25, 2023 by KoolHndLuke

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Wish I'd had a wife and kids. That's a pretty huge one.

> It's still not too late.

[Miauzi]

Eben hat Evaloves4 gesagt:

> Es ist noch nicht zu spät.

I didn't get married until I was 56 and I'm 60 now

I'm happy? No - but no longer lonely.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Miauzi said:

I didn't get married until I was 56 and I'm 60 now

I'm happy? No - but no longer lonely.

> well, at least something. I am married and I am veeeeeeery happy

[KoolHndLuke]

1 minute ago, Evaloves4 said:

> well, at least something. I am married and I am veeeeeeery happy

And you never rub it in my face. Thank you for that, Eva. 

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

And you never rub it in my face. Thank you for that, Eva. 

> Noooooo, never ...... I would never do that.

[KoolHndLuke]

18 minutes ago, Evaloves4 said:

 

Ummm.... Eva, is there anything you wish you could relate to people better about? Or do you relate to everyone pretty well? 

 

I, for instance, try to relate to dog people (prefer cats). But somehow they always sniff me out, lol. 

 

 

Edited March 25, 2023 by KoolHndLuke

[Guest]

17 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Ummm.... Eva, is there anything you wish you could relate to people better about? Or do you relate to everyone pretty well? 

> Maybe this will sound bit weird and unrealistic to you, but I do relate to the people very well now. If you'd ask me this question 6 years ago, I would give you a long list of the things I should change.

Edited March 25, 2023 by Evaloves4

[KoolHndLuke]

56 minutes ago, 2dk2c.2 said:

1984, to kill a mockingbird, a wrinkle in time...

Sad.,.. or aggravating depending on your disposition. The banning of such classics doesn't change human nature though. That... I wish was understood.

 

38 minutes ago, Miauzi said:

I didn't get married until I was 56 and I'm 60 now

I'm happy? No - but no longer lonely.

Does "overrated" ring a bell? 

Edited March 25, 2023 by KoolHndLuke

[KoolHndLuke]

There are plenty of things that I don't want to relate to or try to understand though. Cheating is one. Family abuse is certainly another. Lying I can reluctantly admit relating to and understand in certain situations. Arrogance- can't stand this! Pride is a tricky one because we should have it in some ways, but not in everything.

 

 

Edited March 25, 2023 by KoolHndLuke

[t.ara]

2 hours ago, KoolHndLuke said:

8 billion people... of which we all share so much commonality. Yet we are all so different it seems. Islands linked in a sea of communication.

 

It's not that we want to be so different I think- we just are.

 

Personally, I've spent most of my life isolated because most times I've tried to relate to others.... I was shut out or was expected to change for them.

 

What is it you wish you could relate to others about more? Have them understand?

 

Wish I could have related better to my gf's dealing with physical pain. But as she said so many times, I simply couldn't know unless I'd gone through the same.

 

 

??????????

[Miauzi]

Vor 17 Minuten sagte t.ara:

??????????

 

In German one would say -> A lid is looking for the right pot - there should be something with 8 billion people

[KoolHndLuke]

1 hour ago, t.ara said:

??????????

Better? Or was there something else unclear?

 

 

Edited March 25, 2023 by KoolHndLuke

[KoolHndLuke]

51 minutes ago, Doctor Cadaver said:

If people can't accept you for the way you are, I'd say fuck em'.  There's no point in pretending to be something you're not or appeasing to people who doesn't want to see the real you.

Agree. Have never compromised who I am or what I'm about for anybody. So many others eagerly do so though- to fit in I suppose. Nobody likes being the odd ball out.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Wish I'd had a wife and kids. That's a pretty huge one. Pretty sure I'd have been a good father. Not so sure I'd have been a good husband.

 

But the question almost always comes up in adult conversations. Always felt it was a convenient way to cut me out of it.

 

 

 

I can't have kids, only adopt, but well when it comes to relating.

 

Often see things way differently than others, thus more often I struggle to get the issue certain people have, cause solution may seem simple for me, but.. not for them ^^.

 

As for pain, well until something hurts it may be hard, however are we talking about periods?

 

Did you ever had food poisoning? Maybe not the closest thing you would imagine, but the type of pain you feel around that area can be familiar.

 

Doctors often prescribe the same painkillers for it like what women get for heavy periods

[KoolHndLuke]

3 minutes ago, Resdayn said:

Often see things way differently than others, thus more often I struggle to get the issue certain people have, cause solution may seem simple for me, but.. not for them ^^.

Right???? Often keep it to myself when I notice things others don't. Let them figure it out. 

 

Appreciate the advice about pain. But this was of intense magnitude. 

[Psalam]

My turn to weigh in.

 

First, let us remember that this is a Thread on LL. As such the responses tend to be from people that are comfortable here, sometimes more comfortable than in RL. It's a special case of the weak anthropic principle I suppose.

 

In my opinion, people are like dice. They have many sides. During one lifetime I don't expect to see all the sides of very many people. And, I don't expect very many people, if any, to see every side of me, much less enjoy my company when certain sides are showing. The corollary to this is that if I want to have people around me I have to select which parts of me I'm willing to show. I don't think of this as "pretending" I'm something other than what I am. Rather I'm aware that it is the nature of people that they can't always (or often frequently) abide the whole truth. So, people who "knew" me at work saw one side. People on LL see another side. And so on ...

 

By dividing this out I can show all (or at least most) aspects of my life that I care to share. That allows me to have all the interactions I desire. 

[2dk2c.2]

26 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Agree. Have never compromised who I am or what I'm about for anybody. So many others eagerly do so though- to fit in I suppose. Nobody likes being the odd ball out.

Rice cakes, tuxedos, false eyelashes, heavy-duty eyeliner, not smelling drunk (or giving the impression you are even if you are not), hiding the pills a person takes to cope,

even eating hamburgers occasionally (It was an episode of "House MD") and in general "Behaving" are kind of falsenesses (non-truities?) (FU, spellchecker)

When she sends all the money to {insert old-country here} and the greedy SOB's abscond with ALL the life insurance (assholes), put it this way, marriage is overrated. Pretending isn't, the world revolves around pretense, 

But nvm, just ranting in my own personal private subway.

[KoolHndLuke]

34 minutes ago, Psalam said:

By dividing this out I can show all (or at least most) aspects of my life that I care to share. That allows me to have all the interactions I desire. 

Good insight.... and I suppose that's what most of us do in life. Personally I've never been good at hiding sides of my personality for very long. Everyone pretty much gets the full Monty. This has hurt me tremendously in life- especially at work during the long hours. Act a little goofy at the wrong instant.. and then you're marked as "not quite right in the head". Refute some popular misconception or outright lie among coworkers and then you're an outcast.

 

Veronica of FNV didn't have to explain shit to me. I knew all too well. 

 

 

Edited March 25, 2023 by KoolHndLuke

[Guest]

43 minutes ago, KoolHndLuke said:

Right???? Often keep it to myself when I notice things others don't. Let them figure it out. 

 

Appreciate the advice about pain. But this was of intense magnitude. 

 

If they ever figure out, but sadly my insights are just as hard to get them as the problem for them. It's how is it, I guess we can say we tried or try help ^^.

 

I'm not sure on intensity, I just tried give an example how that specific pain can feel, so maybe you can imagine.

 

If that helps anything, maybe you can understand or at least imagine a bit how it is.

 

I'm very empathetic person , but too much for my own, so I often have to take a backseat before I relate too much for a situation or feeling.

 

It can harm me 

Edited March 25, 2023 by Resdayn
fixing grammar xd, cause my adhd makes me forget it

[2dk2c.2]

On 3/24/2023 at 11:30 PM, KoolHndLuke said:

8 billion people (estimated world population)... of which we all share so much commonality. Yet we are all so different it seems. Islands linked in a sea of communication.

 

It's not that we want to be so different I think- we just are.

 

Personally, I've spent most of my life isolated because most times I've tried to relate to others.... I was shut out or was expected to change for them.

 

What is it you wish you could relate to others about more? Have them understand?

 

Wish I could have related better to my gf's dealing with physical pain. But as she said so many times, I simply couldn't know unless I'd gone through the same.

 

 

 I found this cartoon while looking for an answer to something on Loverslab.
I forgot what I was looking for.

 

Even when someone is literally spelling out what they want, their mind works faster than their typing speed, and large holes are left in their text (what were they thinking??)

Wives and girlfriends don't always say what they're mad about, and the signs and the symbols (it's tuesday) (We're out of smokes) are easier to read.

It isn't inconceivable that a person is frustrated trying to relate to others, so much so that they do something drastic to prove a point, which nobody understands because they're too focused on the drastic thing.

Subtext!!

I wish I knew subtext better.