Porn Addiction

[AKM]

Thought I'd chime in about some of the things mentioned by others, specifically MGTOW.  Note: There are some strong personal feelings in the below, but I try to keep neutral and as factual as possible.

As stated above, there are problems with the way sexual interactions happen in today's society.  MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way, and is basically men who have taken a look at the system as it is and said "fuck it, I'm not getting involved", and thus 'walk away'.  There is another group that also doesn't like the current situation, but rather than throwing up their hands and walking away, they try to fix it.  These guys are called MRAs which stands for Mens' Rights Activists.  They see how things have gone with regards to womens' rights, and argue that the pendulum has now swung too far in womens' favour, and things should be fixed - and they try to convince others (both men and women) of it.  While many MGTOWs may see the MRAs actions as a noble cause, they also see it as useless and perhaps pointless.

Post 1960's-1970's birth control and the subsequent sexual revolution, neither women nor men now have nearly the restraint on sexual action that they did in the past.  Want proof?  Take a look at the dating standards today.  How many dates is considered 'average' before being sexually involved?  Last I heard it was three.  For many people, it's less than that (one night stands).  My standard question: How the hell do you even have any idea who this person is at the three date mark, never mind getting comfortable enough to have sex with them?  You're honestly telling me that you can trust them after three dates???

 

Thing is, women still control sex, and thus reproduction.  All this talk about women lacking power, and yet, at least with regards to sex and reproduction, women have a LOT of control.  That control is over THE single most important part about existence, period: 'Do your genes continue to the next generation?'

I saw this in college.  My friend's girlfriend threatened to stop taking the pill if he didn't do X, Y, or Z.  Pure blackmail.

What you find, with research, is that there is a trend.  When women are young and fertile, they go out and have sex with the "Bad Boy" types.  When they get older, they go looking for the "Good Provider" types.  What does this mean?  Well, if you're a guy, you have a 10% chance of being in the top 10% of men.  If you are, then you pretty much have your pick of women.  If you're in the "bottom" 90%?  You might as well not exist as far as women are concerned.  At least until they hit roughly 30.  By which time, they've run through how many guys? Almost every one of which they've had sex with.

But that's nature for you; and not just human nature.

So, you, the "good" guy, find yourself at 30-ish, and suddenly, after years of being ignored by women, if you're "lucky", women might start to notice you.  Why?  Welll.... Because you, sir, are the Provider.  You are the one who she will come to after she has made the decision to have fun in her younger years, and, likely, when she comes looking for you, she will have another man's child or children in tow.  Okay, you say.  She has kids, so what?  Heh.

 

But there's a problem.  A BIG problem.  No matter what happens, if you two hit it off wonderfully, and are the perfect couple, everything is rainbows and butterflies, one overriding factor remains and that is this: No matter how much you love those children, no matter how much they love you, they will NEVER be YOUR children.  They'll be HER children - and some other guy will be their father.  But you might be Dad.  So.  Everything goes great for X amount of time, and then.... something happens.  She's not happy.  Or you're not happy.  She leaves.  But you've spent all this time, and money, and emotion in these children, what about that?  Doesn't matter, they aren't your children.  But wait, it gets worse!  In some states in the U.S., after X amount of time under certain conditions (living together for example), you are legally considered to be Y (married, for example), regardless of weather that is actual fact.  Same goes for the children.  If you've been acting as their father figure for X amount of time, the State may consider them legally your children for the purposes of Child Support -  but NOT for other grounds. 

 

Get that?  You'd be legally obligated to pay for some other guy's children!  This crap happens, and it's more common than you might think.

 

I saw this growing up.  I grew up with two girls who I'd known long enough that these were my "sisters".  I knew these girls VERY well.  So I watched, we hit puberty.  It was interesting.  They BOTH went "off to the carousel" (that's the 'Cock Carousel'.  Like a carousel where you jump off one horse, and onto another interchangeably with no regard for the individual horse, such is how she treats men, jumping from penis to penis.).  Once they became aware of their sexuality, and sexually active, pretty much every guy they had a relationship with, they were having sex with.

Another example of the pill etc. giving women overriding power; one I absolutely can't stand: One of these girls came crying to me at one point after she became sexually active saying she'd gotten an abortion.  That's a topic for another time, but in that particular case, I had absolutely zero question that the abortion was nothing more than her using it as another form of birth control, after obviously having taken less than sufficient preventative action beforehand.  The worst part?  She NEVER SAID A WORD to the man.  The man had ZERO say in what happened.  She told him later, after the fact.  This man is now her husband.  Oh, and by the way... he was a virgin when they met.

Here's an interesting part: You know how STDs are a major problem?  Given the above actions, and the fact that only 10% of guys are getting sex (roughly), what's it mean?  It means that a large percentage of women are having sex with a small percentage of men, and it's that small percentage of men who are the carriers of these STDs, and are spreading it to a majority of women.  It's SO bad, that I recently read an article about "In New York, you do NOT go condomless with a prostitute - unless she carries the same STD you do."

Had a conversation with an old friend who I hadn't seen in years.  Turns out she's very sexually active (semi-surprise).  When our conversation eventually turned that way, she asked me why I'm MGTOW.  My response: "Look at the sexual activity that goes on.  It's such that even a simple kiss is no longer safe, because you KNOW what she's been doing with that mouth."  Not guaranteed, of course, but you get to a point in life where anyone you physically interact with will have physically interacted with X number of people etc. and so on.  At that point, being exposed to something through the simplest of interactions is almost guaranteed.

Then there's the medical angle.  The human race was incredibly fortunate in the 20th century to have discovered penicillin.  Having discovered how effective penicillin was at killing all manner of not so great things, penicillin became used, and then over used.  And then the internet came along.  All manner of knowledge available to all levels of mental capacity people.  You wound up with things like people who would start their course of antibiotics, start feeling better, and not finish them.  Some bugs survived, and slowly but surely, those bugs got stronger.  You also have people who no longer trusted the medical professionals, choosing instead to believe uneducated (at least in the subject matter) individuals.  Same thing goes for STDs.  There are super-STDs showing up, and also recurrences of diseases that HAD, in the not to recent past, been all but wiped out.  All because people who don't know better think they do.  This stuff is completely resistant to the overused penicillin etc.  Things that used to be curable now are not - at least with the go-to drug.  There were, fortunately, some really smart people who figured out that this might happen, and set aside some second-attempt last resort drugs.  Occasionally, they work.

 

The financial angle, in short: Men pay, but women can make the same overall, should they choose to... but men STILL pay.  I can't tell you how many times I saw this back in my dating days.  "I'm a strong, independent woman who makes my own way, etc., but I want traditional roles in romance ("Chivalry", which is a lie, by the way) - but not in the relationship as a whole. (I want it when it works best for me, but not when it's inconvenient for me)"  There's a large amount of delusion out there from both sexes, who just don't see the long term consequences of it all.

So, yeah, plenty of reasons to just walk away from the whole mess and watch it all burn.  Thing is, I didn't know about MGTOW as a recognized idea until LONG after I was one.  It's just decisions in life.  A basic risk/reward analysis.  For me, the risks are far greater than the rewards, despite the fact that I do want the rewards, and envy those who have good, solid, stable relationships.  But getting one for myself just isn't worth the hassle. Or the risk.

[Wolfstorm321]

There have been a intense proliferation of industrial porn recently.

There is talk about porn for children, and sex in public.

This proliferation is leading to a increase in porn addiction.

 

The impression I get is TPTB want a porn-oriented society, where 90% of heterosexual men fap to porn movies, while the other 10% shares STDs with 90% of women. The remaining 10% of women become radical feminists, preaching the castration of men.

Recently I saw the nofap religious zealots announcing an alliance with these radical feminists. That is, they actually want men to be castrated, with nofap being only a excuse for it. Just as I suspected.

 

In the fringes of this system, I see a growth of MGTOW, waifuism, sexbots and erotic VR.

I see Skyrim as a technological prologue to erotic VR. However, VR will only make sense to me when it wont need those big googles, gloves and wont require physical movement. The sensory experience should be detached from physical movement, and without the side effects of a drug.

Sexbots will probably be very expensive, more costly than a car. And they will be heavy. The dolls are already heavy, and they dont have steel components inside.

Waifuism is cheaper than sexbots, but it requires imagination, which most men dont have. The concept of the waifu derives from the minerval concept, so it have a solid basis. Crude materialists will not recognize it, and the legal system is full of these.

MGTOW is old news for me. I'm into it for many years and its only harmful for the divorce industry. However, those who are emotionally weak might have some problems with it. This would need to be coupled with waifuism, but like I said, most men lack imagination. This will turn them to industrial porn, validating the equation I described above. With that said, I dont believe MGTOW is for everybody, but its growth is welcome, just to add fuel to the fire.

 

Right now, I'm torn out between going full misanthrope or keep bashing the system just for fun. I have a edgy side which sometimes is difficulty to contain.

These nofap religious zealots are the most irritating at the moment. I dont know what to say to the MGTOW lads. They are vulnerable to the porn-oriented structure, still I dont want them to be handled to self-castrating cucks. I'm supporting waifuism as a alternative to this structure, although I'm not a weebie. AKM, what would you do? Let them all burn with induced porn addiction or try to orient them whenever possible?

[AKM]

10 hours ago, Wolfstorm321 said:

AKM, what would you do? Let them all burn with induced porn addiction or try to orient them whenever possible?

A very good question.  Both have their good points.  Letting it burn is the hands off approach, and given how people are just generally speaking, unfortunately, I'd say it's probably the safest approach.  As I said, very few people have the wherewithal to see the long term implications, especially given that said implications are not within the span of one (sexually active) lifetime.  It'll take at least 50 years, not 10 or so, which might give people a little bit of their reproductive window left. Sure, the system might correct itself in my lifetime, but by the time it does, I will be well outside the window for looking for, and getting, what I want.

As for trying to orient people, you have to be careful when helping them (I'm automatically assuming that they actively want the help, and that it is not "help" being forced upon them in an 'I know what's best for someone else' manner).  It's very easy to present only the options that look best to you - because they are the best options for you, personally - without looking at the subject of your question and asking yourself, as the giver of advice: "What's best for them?"

[Wolfstorm321]

Thanks for the answer.

 

I think its best to let them burn. The brainwashing is too advanced to do anything effective against it.

 

[Punkin']

On 2/14/2020 at 3:36 PM, AKM said:

MGTOW

-rant begins-

I don't want to start a flame war, but, while it's no secret men get the short end of the stick in dating in their youth, but on the other hand, there's also advantage to being a man.  A physically-fit man with a decent job can date younger women up through their 40s or 50s, whereas a physically-fit woman with a decent job sees her dating life basically collapse around 35.  Women take a significant risk in sex the same as men, given how abortion is hard to get access to and fraught with disinformation and arbitrary restrictions; many people find this a frustration with wanting to go child-free even in a long-term stable relationship.  Men can lie about a condom and women can lie about the pill, but one of these is safer in more spectrums (condom) and can be made redundant (pull out), whereas as a woman you're pretty much at the mercy of your partner.  Until 30+, women have more access to sex, men have more access to commitment post-sex.  One side constantly gets ignored, the other, a barrage of low-quality dick pics and unwanted attention.  Even worse for the unseen majority of young women who may not be skinny/white/middle-upper class, as they get the resentment directed towards these groups, but are essentially in a similar "boat" as men, and that's not even scratching the surface of same-sex women dating.  It's not as one-sided as you seem to think.

Even if it is unfair, which it is, you can rationally check out and keep your options open without being hostile, but converting a "trend" mentally to a "rule" is going to limit your ability to be flexible in pursuing your own happiness, and cut off potential opportunities.  You can both be aware of the trends and work to get more into that 10%, and check out of the rat race urgency.  If anything, things like working out and taking care of appearance have way better benefits outside dating anyway--do that for you.  As an example, hard weight training for 2x 30 min sessions a week has probably the best income/happiness/mental/health benefit to effort of any single lifestyle change apart from being born rich.  Yes, the top 10-20% of men get preferential treatment, but, let's be honest, that's setting the bar really, really fucking low, since 80-90% don't even try.

MGTOW, like PUAs, notice a lot of trends that were willfully ignored previously, but instead of calibrating to subtle trends, tend to exaggerate and create echo chambers that go off in weird directions, usually suspiciously to the right.  They'll make a great point like men being treated badly in custody cases, then turn around and say something like "women shouldn't have the pill because it makes them all whores" (if you want good sex, lowering the risk in the risk-reward balance is a necessity).  Or bitching about single moms in your thirties; you can just hump & dump, that's fine, and a surprising percentage are totally down for that.

As for the rest of the rant, antibiotic resistance is primarily from overuse in cattle farming and natural given even responsible use, the abortion probably wasn't used as birth control because they're a huge expensive pain in the ass to get and sounds like he dodged a bullet (I think you're misinterpreting why she may have told you that story.  She may feel irrationally guilty about the abortion since hormones are intense, and wanted consolation; her not telling the guy was almost certainly to protect him from the fallout and the pressure, and she probably, consequently, felt alone and scared going through it on her own), you can list your apartment as split or list address as a PO box if you're really worried but it usually doesn't hold up in court, the chance of catching an STD from a kiss is astronomically small, STD rate increases are mostly because of better diagnostics and still low (the issue is detection because so many are asymptomatic) and easily solved with protection and common sense, etc.  I've seen a bunch of young men go down these trains of thought, realize they overshot reality, and feel like shit after with the cringe, but if you're going to stick to these beliefs, convert them as much as possible to something productive.  I don't mean to come off as attacking or such, just a case of trying to give an outside perspective.

Side note: if you're worried about anonymity, use Tor.  Though a VPN + noscript + adblocking + firefox is a pretty solid option and should be a given for just responsible web browsing.  Most low-effort commercial ad-centric tracking is all crappy javascript, usually google analytics and shitty third party services.  If you block these & use duckduckgo or similar for searches along with autoclear of cookies/cache/etc, you should notice a lack of targeting in results/searches/etc, with the only real overt bias being low-effort clickbait or ragebait.

Second side note: peak "carousel" mentality was a long time ago, like, mid-late 2000s, when Roosh/Roissy/Mystery/etc were first picking up.  Gen Z comparatively barely gets out of the house and mostly just want to die.  Dating sucks awfully on the internet still but it's as much because of endless bot-spam and monetizing.  OTOH chicks being acknowledged for actually having a sex drive is a wonderful return to form, that boomer mentality that "men only pursue men pay women can't approach" that led to the growth of the PUA culture and the god-awful state dating was in is dying, and if you want to get real cynical and politically incorrect, more people coming out as gay/trans means less competition amongst young men for available women, far outpacing any growth in lesbianism.  Shit's changing in positive directions, the math lines up.

 

Third side note: widespread access to porn in their pocket for the young is a very bad thing, but it's not, historically speaking, unheard of to have that level of access.  It does seem to be having an anti-addiction approach in some cases, more desensitizing than encouraging addiction, a bit like how crappy mobile games hook a few whales but most people stay far away.  Not like we didn't have similar growing up, either electronic or, if you're older, magazines and such.  Used to be you were seen as a hard core freak if you were into light bondage, but with porn everywhere it's way easier to have that conversation and people seem more willing to experiment in general.

-rant over-

Back on topic, I think porn can fill a niche need; not everyone's partner shares their fetishes, some use it as a way to experiment with different roles, and it rounds out the experience more.  I play Skyrim/FO4 with adult mods more because it makes sense thematically in the games and gives more variety; really loving Crime & Punishment, since just mindlessly killing raiders for a good character run is pretty bland, whereas capturing a few who surrender, putting them to work on farms, and converting them to productive/reformed settlers with time makes sense and gives reason to raid them.  Or a character having a quickie in the morning with their partner helps flesh out an otherwise bland marriage system.

The addictive aspect of porn is like booze, easy to convince someone who is satisfied to not drink heavily, near-pointless to convince someone who isn't.  Fine in moderation, and abstaining should be more a personal choice than a knee-jerk reaction.  That's what I don't like about the no-faps, for every person who says "I don't really need porn, I'm happy without it" there's ten who are fucking insufferable and insist it's the devil and unnatural, as if we don't have hard-core beastiality painted on walls from 2,000 years.  Since these usually are people also badly struggling with dating, they're the ones who are at risk of it most, because they need it most.  Their personal decision to try to change from "maintenance" mode to "improving" mode isn't the same as Generic George who loves big tits but his wife's flat as a board so he handles his business once a day to reduce his risk of prostate cancer.

[AKM]

On 2/17/2020 at 2:07 PM, Punkin' said:

-rant begins-

I don't want to start a flame war, but...

 

-counter rant begins-

 

"young women who may not be skinny/white/middle-upper class, as they get the resentment directed towards these groups, but are essentially in a similar "boat" as men, and that's not even scratching the surface of same-sex women dating.  It's not as one-sided as you seem to think."

 

Going to quote myself here: "It's very easy to present only the options that look best to you"  It doesn't matter a whit whether it's one sided or not.  From my perspective, where I stand, with what I was given as an individual (physically, mentally, biological luck-of-the-draw), this is what I have to deal with.  Thus, I have decided that, again, for me, this is the best option/ course of action.  That's the beauty of MGTOW.  It's not the movement that many seem to want to plaster it as, specifically a "counter movement" to feminism.  It's individual choice, based, one has to assume, on individual results, or rather lack thereof, though I have heard examples of it not being due to lack of results but simple recognition of where a guy stands as a man in the sexual marketplace.  The cultural expectation that "the guy pays", etc. that has gotten so blown out of proportion that it's a known fact that some women are using dates simply as meal tickets.  Of course, that begs the question "Who does this tactic hurt the most?" Other women, of course.  The ones who are actually looking for a partner with whom to share life.   When the ones who work the system alter how those on the other side of the system view the system, that's where the problem lies.  

 

I'm sure there are good women out there, but the question is simply "Is it worth digging through piles of pony exhaust to find the good ones?" Nope.  What's worse, is I actually had the confirmation that women in general are, well, women.  Doesn't matter where they're from, the actions, thought processes, etc. that I find so distasteful are worldwide.  Hell, I just had a conversation with a couple guys the other night about just this.  Guys being guys, talking about our subject of choice, but eventually, as so often happens, the subject of women came up.  It was really interesting to, immediately after expressing awe of modern communications abilities that allow people from multiple continents, never mind countries, end up hearing from a few of these guys, who only a moment before were talking about a totally unrelated subject, confirm what I had observed regarding the women they'd been involved with.  And then one of them pointing it out.  That it doesn't matter where they're from, people are the same, period.

"things like working out and taking care of appearance have way better benefits"

 

Yeah, doing it for you.  Many people point this out.  But, again, the factor remains that "You can both be aware of the trends and work to get more into that 10%", which sounds an awful lot like right back to "chasing the female", right back on the rat race that had supposedly gotten left behind.

 

"create echo chambers that go off in weird directions, usually suspiciously to the right."

 

I find this hilarious.  Not that I'm particularly right wing, I consider myself centerist (that is to say, I believe in some of the things from both sides, which makes me a friend of neither, because how dare I even consider that the "enemy" might have some valid points?), but rather because you are absolutely 100% correct about the right leaning of some of the Youtube people who talk about this stuff.  I sometimes find some of their stuff extremely difficult to listen to as they seem almost incapable of keeping their political beliefs out of it.  Just like the left wing folks, it seems impossible for people to discuss such topics without things quickly devolving into a poo flinging contest.

 

"you can just hump & dump, that's fine, and a surprising percentage are totally down for that."

 

Yeah, MGTOW aren't PUAs.  The same behavior in some aspects, perhaps, but it's not even close to the same thing.  As for the extremes of promiscuity, now you know why, while I would love to find this mythical unicorn of a woman, I can't dismiss males' actions, either.  I have to look at what I consider promiscuous extremes of both women and men.  Most people don't get that - at all.  'What business have you for looking into males' behaviour?'  Takes two to tango, sir.

"She may feel irrationally guilty about the abortion since hormones are intense, and wanted consolation; her not telling the guy was almost certainly to protect him from the fallout and the pressure"

Intense hormones?  Spare me.  I was a walking hormone of a teenager at one time, too, and I didn't take those actions.  I suppose I was just the exception to the rule, as it often seems I'm the only guy I know to have actively decided NOT to go through with such actions.  "Oh, but you're going to lose your girlfriend! She'll go find someone else!"  'There's the door.'  As you mentioned, she had a hell of a lot more to lose in the act to boot.  With all that to lose, why wouldn't one give the situation a hell of a deep think first?  As someone I know says about her daughter (whose son grew up without his father because she found someone else): "These things happen."  No, they don't.  Not if you step back, beat your raging hormones into submission, and THINK before acting.  Goes for both parties.  Oh, and if it matters, kid's mom is f'ing hot.  Still.  A real looker, and a decent woman to boot, from what I know.  BUT, she gave up a good career due to one poorly thought out night of fun.  And the poor kid got the shit end of the stick of his parents' decision.

 

"a bunch of young men go down these trains of thought, realize they overshot reality, and feel like shit after with the cringe"

Yeah, it's easy to overshoot, then again, turning it productive simply means, unfortunately, focusing inward, as continuing to look at the situation knowing what I know would simply result in seeing more of same.  Not the best solution, or even a good one, really.

 

"STD rate increases are mostly because of better diagnostics"

 

Ummm.... Just because you don't know it exists does not mean it doesn't exist....  If the STD rates are increasing because we've become better able to detect them, that simply means we're now able to know that they exist, whereas before, while they existed, we couldn't detect them and therefore didn't know they existed.  Just because we couldn't detect them didn't mean they didn't exist.

 

"Shit's changing in positive directions, the math lines up. "

Nice to know, but I'd like to point out that: "boomer mentality that "men only pursue men pay women can't approach" " was stated to me by a female a few years younger than myself.  She's not of the boomer generation.  As for the whole carousel thing, you can call it whatever you want, I still see the same actions, but I guess it's called something else now?

 

-counter rant ends(?)-

 

"That's what I don't like about the no-faps, for every person who says "I don't really need porn, I'm happy without it" there's ten who are fucking insufferable and insist it's the devil and unnatural, as if we don't have hard-core beastiality painted on walls from 2,000 years.  Since these usually are people also badly struggling with dating, they're the ones who are at risk of it most, because they need it most."

 

I'd tend to disagree with this statement, specifically regarding the no-fap types.  Unless I'm totally mistaken, it seems to me that the group has been "invaded" by the insufferable types.  And yeah, I find it quite funny how different the Eastern and Western philosophies are regarding sex.  One understands it as a natural phenomenon and need while the other seems to shun it in public, while going nuts-o in private.  Truly weird.

[GrimReaper]

Women are discriminate maters, men aren't. Generally speaking, of course. Monogamy forces both men and women to be very picky when it comes to relationships because it's a commitment for life or at least a very long time. Removing monogamy from the equation causes the imbalance many complain about today - women have free choice but they mostly pick from the top. Since men aren't that picky, even men that are on the top of the dating market ladder have no qualms dating or having sex with women who are much lower than them when it comes to the value in the sexual marketplace, the priority is simply getting your dick wet.

 

People like to put the blame on women but if men had any standards, i.e. being more discriminate in their behavior when it comes to choosing who to date and who not to date, the problem would also go away. Movements like MGTOW are very suspicious from my point of view because many of them display cult-like traits. Especially people that you can find in the comment section of videos dedicated to the subject. They all have similar avatars, chant the same few sentences over and over again and are very hostile as soon as their ideology is questioned. IMO it's more make-believe than anything else, I'd guess that most of those guys were never really successful with women in the first place but now want to play it off as that being simply a case of 'knowing better' all along. There are men that have been legitimately burned by divorce courts and such but those are the minority in the MGTOW movement. The way I see it, choosing to walk your own way implies that you had a chance to walk another way in the first place. Lying in a ditch on the side of the road doesn't really count in that regard.

[Ankahet]

Porn addiction IS a thing and you would not be the first to struggle with it. So long as you remember the difference between the fantasy world and the real world, it is not something to be as concerned about.

 

For instance, even though sexual content is labelled "Taboo", I make a living off of drawing pornographic images. I am not ashamed of it, even proud in a way. I dont have to spend 8+ hours a day cleaning coffee pots or punching numbers into a register. If retail work is for you, then hey thats fine too, but its not my game. I once encountered a neighbor whom when he found out that is what I did for a living, he asked in a very condescending manner "So hows the porn business treatin ya? Good? Got food in your fridge? Such a filthy business." This particular neighbor had only been working at walmart as a door greeter for a few weeks while his GF basically picked up the check on everything else. I know they make minimum wage, so, my response was "Its going at about 1900$ a month, all my bills ar epaid and my fridge is full, how walmart going?".

 

Society has taught us that being sexual is taboo. To be ashamed of our bodies and cover them up. I dont believe that should be the case. We all have our own fetishes and such for sure. But so long as things are safe, I dont believe there is any harm in it. I would say, instead of automatically thinking "This is wrong". Ask yourself, "Why do I feel this is wrong? Who told me this was wrong?"

 

If you find it wrong on your own accord, not because someone else told you it was, then by all means, make your own way and go about change. All I ask is that you think for yourself. That said, it takes a lot of guts to admit something like this and ask these questions. Good on you for that.

[Asphyia]

One step at a time, Dude just gotta take it day by day

[Bonnie55555]

At first it was about the game then i found those stupid mods.its bad that im a addict but now i cant even get away from it in my games.swear freakin hate this.im getting tired of failing everyday screwin up my life

[Mr. Otaku]

On 3/15/2020 at 7:57 AM, Ankahet said:

I once encountered a neighbor whom when he found out that is what I did for a living, he asked in a very condescending manner "So hows the porn business treatin ya? Good? Got food in your fridge? Such a filthy business." This particular neighbor had only been working at walmart as a door greeter for a few weeks while his GF basically picked up the check on everything else. I know they make minimum wage, so, my response was "Its going at about 1900$ a month, all my bills ar epaid and my fridge is full, how walmart going?"

I'm a year late to this but i gotta say, you were extremely easy on him. I know if i were in your shoes i would've told him that i'll break his face in half he ever talks to me like that again. People like that only know how to respond to fear and strength, sometimes you gotta take them down a notch.

 

Also nice post, definitely agree with with it. It's only a problem if it's getting in the way of you getting the important bits in life done. Conforming to arbitrary social nonsense has never been my style either, runs in the family i suppose.

[Mr. Otaku]

34 minutes ago, Bonnie55555 said:

At first it was about the game then i found those stupid mods.its bad that im a addict but now i cant even get away from it in my games.swear freakin hate this.im getting tired of failing everyday screwin up my life

So i take it going cold turkey isn't gonna cut it anymore for you at the stage you're in? Withdrawals and stuff? Just take a break for 2 days, just completely stop. Then come back and play for 4 hours before stopping for 2 again and repeat the cycle until you can comfortably push it to 4 days and 2 hours of gaming. Repeat that cycle until you can go 8 days without it before getting 1 hour of gaming. After this it'll be easy for you to stop for 10 days straight without gaming, try and push for 5 more before coming back to play 2 hours again before going 20 days without gaming.

 

Now you know what it's like when you stop, it'll feel calmer once you're used to it and you'll get used to it fairly easily if you do it right. During those 10 to 20 days set up a robust schedule for yourself, distract yourself with other shit you need to take care of in order to steer your life correctly. Once you have a schedule, then you can set time for 2 to 8 hours of gaming and never face these problems again, so long as you don't break the schedule and relapse of course.

 

Hope this helps.

[MsIbuki]

I actually think that it all depends on how do you perceive this kind of addiction. I do not consider myself a pervert because of the fact that I am addicted to watching porn. It is just something that I like to do, it is not like I am watching porn while being in a public place or things like that. I am trying to keep my head cool, and porn doesn't seem to affect my life that much. My girlfriend know about this addiction, and she has nothing against it, she is ok with it. Moreover, I would say that I am not just addicted to porn, I am also addicted to sex, and that might be a bigger problem. My girlfriend is already tired of all the experiments that I want to do with the sex toys from lovermart.com. At the beginning it was fun, but now she is tire of it :D.

[beefers]

the following is only my (informed) opinion so take it for what it's worth.

 

It really depends on how you are wired.  If you are the kind of person who is prone to obsession/addiction, then you have far less control over your behavior and can fall into patterns of addiction to many things including gambling, drinking, drugs, sex, porn, etc.  Also remember, these things are designed to be addictive because they stimulate the reward centres of the brain (dopamine release) and that in itself can become addictive.

 

The other thing to consider is escalation.  Many people become desensitized to "light" or "vanilla" porn just like they look for a better high with drugs or alcohol and so seek out harder and harder versions of porn to satisfy their hunger.  This is where (again, in my opinion) porn becomes dangerous because studies have shown that it can, in fact, rewire your brain and you will no longer be able to become stimulated by lighter forms of pornography and that makes it very difficult to sustain relationships with real people because it doesn't live up to your porn fantasy expectations.

 

I read interesting studies that have followed patterns of porn consumption over decades and the categories that people seek out have become increasingly violent and degrading towards women, ie: choking, humiliation, gang bang, bukkake, extreme anal, simulated rape, etc.  Sure, there are percentages of the population that are always into that kind of thing anyway, but these types of categories have become far more mainstream and when kids can access these things on their phones, it definitely has a detrimental effect on brain development and especially young boys viewing such things think that's how they are supposed to conduct themselves sexually.  This leads to cases of impotence in young men because they are unable to become aroused with a normal female who is unwilling to engage in such activities.  They don't know how to be romantically intimate because they have not been taught it and/or don't see it in the modern porn they watch.  It's also dangerous for young women who think they need to do such acts in order to appease their male partners and it can lead to discomfort and even injury, while saying nothing of the psychological effects including feeling humiliated, self loathing and that there is something wrong with them because they alone can't excite passion in their partner without degrading acts.

Edited November 14, 2022 by beefers

[Mexicola88]

On 11/11/2022 at 8:37 AM, jenny1122 said:

i love porn ...can anyone suggest me best porn videos...

I liked Gwen Media and House of Gord and Freaks Inside the most so far. Well it's all mostly Latex, Fetish, BDSM ish not simple porn. Simple porn never turned me on for some reason even if the 10 hottest women on earth would fuck each other at the same time, without any kinky stuff it would bore me to death.  

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

On 9/21/2021 at 12:31 PM, beefers said:

the following is only my (informed) opinion so take it for what it's worth.

 

It really depends on how you are wired.  If you are the kind of person who is prone to obsession/addiction, then you have far less control over your behavior and can fall into patterns of addiction to many things including gambling, drinking, drugs, sex, porn, etc.  Also remember, these things are designed to be addictive because they stimulate the reward centres of the brain (dopamine release) and that in itself can become addictive.

 

The other thing to consider is escalation.  Many people become desensitized to "light" or "vanilla" porn just like they look for a better high with drugs or alcohol and so seek out harder and harder versions of porn to satisfy their hunger.  This is where (again, in my opinion) porn becomes dangerous because studies have shown that it can, in fact, rewire your brain and you will no longer be able to become stimulated by lighter forms of pornography and that makes it very difficult to sustain relationships with real people because it doesn't live up to your porn fantasy expectations.

 

I read interesting studies that have followed patterns of porn consumption over decades and the categories that people seek out have become increasingly violent and degrading towards women, ie: choking, humiliation, gang bang, bukkake, extreme anal, simulated rape, etc.  Sure, there are percentages of the population that are always into that kind of thing anyway, but these types of categories have become far more mainstream and when kids can access these things on their phones, it definitely has a detrimental effect on brain development and especially young boys viewing such things think that's how they are supposed to conduct themselves sexually.  This leads to cases of impotence in young men because they are unable to become aroused with a normal female who is unwilling to engage in such activities.  They don't know how to be romantically intimate because they have not been taught it and/or don't see it in the modern porn they watch.  It's also dangerous for young women who think they need to do such acts in order to appease their male partners and it can lead to discomfort and even injury, while saying nothing of the psychological effects including feeling humiliated, self loathing and that there is something wrong with them because they alone can excite passion in their partner without degrading acts.

 

 You forgot to mention some of the darker paths some people will go down to chase the dopamine high as well, things like, snuff porn, CP, and other forms of illegal porn. But I agree with this 100%.

[CodyR4]

wish i had never watched porn tbh

[beefers]

On 12/23/2019 at 12:32 PM, Guest said:

Maybe it's over-due but I just want to know something. Do someone think that they don't actually want to be like this? A pervert and porn maker? Like there's other things to do but you can't do it cause of self doubt and lust. It's obvious that I don't want to be a perv and just live a life, but I can't cause of addiction. OblivionSumary isn't my first name and probably won't be the last either.

 

 

I just want to know if someone had some very good dreams in the past that you doubted yourself to make now when you make porn.

Your question is already flawed because I am neither a pervert nor a porn maker.  Sexual desire is a perfectly natural, human feeling and it's nothing to be ashamed about unless (like me) you were indoctrinated into religion as a child and were taught incorrectly that it's sinful.