The cool morning breeze aided in cooling down Astrid’s sore muscles as she continued to overlook the small grave that she’d made for all those that had fallen in the attack on the Sanctuary. Sore as she was, Astrid hadn’t moved from her spot in hours, as she was struggled with expressing what she should say to her fallen family members.

 

Astrid: This… The words shouldn’t come this hard to me… They were my brothers and sisters, my family… But I know that this… All of this is my fault… But the only things is filling my head are excuses, and they don’t deserve that, especially not from me. Not now…

 

 

Although she was able to purge her mind of said excuses, no words came to her head and once again Astrid stood there overlooking their grave. Another breeze came and went, and the former assassin straightened herself.

 

Astrid: This makes the fifteenth time that you’ve purposely made your presence known to me since you’ve gotten here, Vex. What do you want, thief?

 

 

The Imperial thief knew her cover had been blown from the moment she had arrived because of Astrid’s acute senses, but had stayed hidden to allow the Nord a modicum of privacy. However, since she had been called out, Vex dropped down from the tree she was in and landed with a soft thud behind Astrid from a ways away.

 

Vex: Just doing as I was asked, assassin. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

 

The usual venom that Vex spat at her was still there, but it being tinged with a bit of concern warmed Astrid’s heart. Feeling a bit more relaxed about the situation, Astrid knelt down before the grave and smiled knowingly.

 

Astrid: Just doing what was asked of you, huh? So… Jalena sent you. Can’t say I’m surprised. Also thank you for keeping everyone away from here. You didn’t have to, but it meant a lot to me.

 

Vex: Don’t sweat it.

 

 

Although both were outspoken women, when it came to matters of the heart or Jalena they seemed to be at a loss as to how to deal with one another. And so silence overtook them once again with Astrid struggling once more with what she should say to her fallen comrades while Vex paced back and forth behind her… Which was slowly becoming something of an irritant to the Nord.

 

Astrid: …If you must pace, could you at least tell me WHY she sent you?

 

 

Vex stopped pacing immediately and turned toward Astrid.

 

Vex: Oh! Uh… Sorry, I didn’t even realize I was pacing. I’m just so… A-anyway, as to why I’m here… As you know, Jalena sent me. She sent me because she was worried about you.

 

Astrid raised an eyebrow at this.

 

Astrid: Really now?

 

Vex: What reason would I to lie to you? If I were going to be dishonest in my dealings with you, I wouldn’t have even come here in the first place.

 

Astrid: Right… So you mean to tell me that you simply left Mjoll, of ALL people, alone? With Jalena? On YOUR day with her?

 

 

Vex: *sigh* It’s not like it’s my day any longer… So no. Besides, I knew things were going to go awry when you two wouldn’t just give me the weekends with Jalena…

 

Astrid: Heh, well then, if that’s how you feel then perhaps I should settle things here and go spend MY day with her. No sense of implementing this system if it’s not going to be utilized.

 

Vex: *sigh* You’re not going to goad me into an altercation this time, assassin. Just… Just do what you want.

 

 

Satisfied with her small victory, Astrid closed her eyes and again reached out for the right words to say… But no matter how hard she tried, the words continued to elude her.

 

Astrid: *sigh* So is that all?

 

Vex: For why I followed you?

 

Astrid nodded.

 

 

Vex sighed and shook her head. She went over to Astrid and stood to her left and stared at the grave with Astrid. It was a small, makeshift grave that once could find anywhere in Skyrim where at the time of their death, an adventurer’s comrades would honor their life if they couldn’t do a proper burial.

Glancing over at Astrid, Vex noticed that the Nord was trembling and couldn’t contain the somber tone in the words that flew from her mouth next.

 

Vex: Not… Entirely. You know how Jalena is. She didn’t give me any clear cut details as to WHY I should follow you, but… Honestly? It felt like she was worried about you, and what fully accepting the loss of your comrades… Of your husband would do to you… And what you might do to yourself. But remember this is just my interpretation of her reasoning, she never said—

 

 

Astrid whipped around and stood face to face with Vex as she looked the Imperial Vex square in the eye.

 

Astrid: What on Nirn did you two she-devils say to make Jalena think such things? Like what? You both made her believe that I’d kill myself in grief after fully accepting my role in their… In Arnbjorn’s death? I never even hinted—

 

 

Vex: Listen Astrid, WE didn’t do ANYTHING! You want to hear what Jalena said to us verbatim? She said, “She’s been acting oddly at peace with everything since I let her know about the aftermath of the attack on the Sanctuary and I’m worried she might do something dangerous to her own wellbeing.” So before go off and accuse us… accuse ME  of trying to poison Jalena’s view of you, realize that this just like everything else that’s happened recently is on you.

 

 

Astrid’s heart sank and her previous animosity towards Vex vanished instantly, as she realized that the perception of her actions, how calm and collected she was acting in the aftermath of the closest people she’d known for years being massacred like animals, was causing her beloved undesired anguish.

 

Astrid: I… I never meant for that.  I thought… We both were going through a lot and I just didn’t want to give her more cause for worry, especially with her wanting to come clean to each of us about her feelings... This was never supposed to—

 

Seeing Astrid’s distress growing evermore, Vex placed a hand on the Nord’s shoulder and smiled.

 

Vex: You… You did what you thought was best. You held all of your feelings within you, and let those close to you, those you care about feel comfortable enough… Feel at peace when it came to you that they felt like it was okay to mourn… That is was okay to grieve… You acted in a way that a true leader should, and there’s nothing wrong with that, regardless of the end result.

 

 

Vex remembered her rough words to Astrid within the Cistern, withdrew her hand. “Woman to woman, face to face, leader to leader, all of that other crap simply resulted from you, Astrid, being a poor leader. If you were in fact trying to get over your guilt, you’d go and face the survivors like a real leader, and tell all of this to THEM. See how they take it.”

 

Vex: (I… I completely talked out of turn. Seeing how she’s struggled with facing them, and knowing what I know now… How could I ever say those words to her? How could I ever presume that I know what it’s like to lose so many people who are like family to you, when I’ve never been there myself? How… How could she just shoulder all that I said to her, and yet not want to slit my throat the next time we met?)

 

Vex stepped away from the grave and Astrid turned to follow, but couldn’t force herself to move from her spot. Seeing as she was going to have to take the initiative about doing something about this guilt she was harboring, Vex chose to lead the conversation onward.

 

Vex: I… Back in the Cistern… Look, I apologize for what I said back there. I know that even with what you’ve told everyone, that I’ve never stood where you stand. That I couldn’t and still can’t comprehend your situation or the pain and loss that you’re suffering… But even though it feels to you that it shouldn’t be hard, maybe because it is hard… Maybe that’s what it means to be a truly great leader of men… That or maybe it’s hard because you loved them and don’t wish to fully acknowledge that they’re gone…

 

 

There were dozens of things that Astrid wanted to respond to, dozens of reasons for Astrid to snap on Vex for what she’d said in the Cistern and what she just said such as, “what did the Imperial know?” “Who was Vex to try and play consoler to her?” “What right did Vex think she had to be here after she tried to question her motives before?” What makes you think that trying to play peacemaker is going to keep me from gutting you  like a fish next chance I got?” and more, but Astrid held her tongue. She knew those questions came from a place of anger, and although she hadn’t found the words to say goodbye to her brethren, she knew none of those questions should even be entertained. Not now.

 

…Besides, rather than being snarky or in some cases flat out bitchy, there was a more pressing question that was on the Nord’s mind.

 

Astrid: I get that you’re trying to make amends with me for what happened in your headquarters, and… I can try to cope with that. However, I still want to know… What EXACTLY was it that made you come here… Truly?

 

 

Astrid heard a rather exaggerated sigh from Vex before the thief walked away from her and continued going until she got to the tree she had previously jumped down from. After staring at the tree for a few moments Vex turned around, settled backwards against the tree and exhaled another long and deep breath before replying.

 

Vex: There… I had my suspicions about something… Something that I personally felt that I needed to tell you and Mjoll both. My suspicions were doubly enforced by what happened between Jalena and Mjoll after you left. So there, I came here to make you aware of something that’s been bothering me.

 

 

Although this deep into their conversation Vex had no need to lie, Astrid still had her doubts about the thief’s motivation. Taking a few steps towards Vex, the Nord raised her eyebrow and gave the Imperial a quizzical look.

 

Astrid: You said all of that to say, what exactly? That Jalena feels more strongly towards that lion than she does the thief or assassin? And here I thought you were trying your best NOT to piss me off—

 

Vex: Wait, what!? No! That’s not what I meant at all!

 

Astrid: Then what exactly are you trying to say?

 

Vex: Look, despite myself, I’m NOT trying to be confrontational here! It’s just… Didn’t you feel a bit off when Jalena gave you your dagger? Didn’t it feel like there was some deeper meaning to it?

 

 

Astrid took out the dagger in question, the Blade of Woe, and remembered Trace’s words when she gave it to her, “Hehehe, the Blade of Woe, YOUR Blade of Woe, belongs to you and you alone, Astrid. I’d always planned on giving you it back, but if we’re to part now… I wouldn’t want you to be out there with anything less than the best.”

 

Astrid: When she took this from me, at that moment I forfeited my life to her. If she had killed me, heck, if she had ordered me to slit my own throat I wouldn’t have harbored any hatred towards her. But instead she offered me a chance, a chance to rebuild not only the Dark Brotherhood, but to a chance to change myself. But when she gave it back… It felt… It felt like a parting present… Like she was returning the life that I’d given to her. But why?

 

 

Vex: Hmph! Seems like you were keener on what was happening than I gave you credit for. That dagger was much more than a parting present. I’m guessing Jalena tried to hide it from me because she assumed I’d figure what was up, but soon after she sent me off after you, I went back to the Cistern to get something and saw her she give Mjoll her ‘beloved’ Grimsever.

 

Astrid: That damned blade Jalena got on my case for for months? While she was with us, she went after it once but I never saw her return with anything.

 

Vex: The one and the same and I’m pretty sure that Trace has something waiting with the Guild for me which is why I’ve been more than happy that you’ve taken your time here. This was her way of saying, goodbye. Like, goodbye goodbye. Do you understand what that means?

 

 

Astrid turned back towards the grave and wiped the tears that were forming from her eyes.

 

Astrid: (Jalena doesn’t plan on coming back… Or perhaps she doesn’t believe that she will… If she doesn’t think she can take on Solonva, I can train her! Heck, Mjoll, Vex and I could all get her ready! She’s not alone in this fight. She has—)

 

 

It was at that moment that Astrid finally knew what it was that she wanted to say to her fallen brethren. And so she took a knee before their grave, closed her eyes, and let the words fall from her tongue.

 

Astrid: I failed you all as your leader, your friend, and as a sister. I was supposed to lead you all in a way that benefitted the Brotherhood, a way that benefitted all of us. You were my family, and I let my jealously and unfaithful ways override my reason and lead us to ruin. It was MY ignorance and MY clouded vision that put the Dark Brotherhood at risk and although I am not the cause for your deaths, I am indeed the reason for them. Veezara, Gabriella, Festus… Arnbjorn… And everyone else, if… If you can hear my words from beyond the grave, know that I do not ask for your forgiveness, for I believe, no, I KNOW my sins are unforgivable… But…

 

 

Astrid’s eyes opened and for a brief moment she was stunned by how blurry her vision was coupled with how wet her cheeks were. Quickly however she continued on…

 

Astrid: I ask that you understand that I never wished for this to happen. That I never wanted harm to come to ANY of you. And although I cannot change what’s happened, I shall see to it that our Dark Family becomes closer and stronger than ever before!

 

 

Moments passed after the conclusion of Astrid’s words, and to the Imperial it all seemed a bit eerie. Even more so when the Nord suddenly stood tall, her gaze never leaving her comrade’s grave.

 

Vex: That… Are you—

 

Astrid: Now I am become Death Incarnate. With the Night Mother to guide my path, Sithis to guide my hand, and Jalena to guide my heart, I am become a recipe for disaster. Bound until death I shall break the silence and the voices in the dark shall ring with the symphonies of death and destruction.

 

 

Astrid let off a sigh and her tension eased. Feeling as if she’d just been relieved of a giant burden, Astrid was able to turn toward Vex and face her with a smile.

 

Astrid: *sigh* Guess I’ve grieved enough, huh? Vex, it’s time to head on back to Riften before Jalena begins to worry again.

 

Although still not wanting to face the farewell Jalena had in store for her, Vex smiled back and nodded in agreement.

 

Vex: Let’s.

???: …ace… Trace… Trace. TRACE! Wake up already! Jeez, I’m not your freaking personal errand girl, alright!

 

 

Ever not the morning person, Trace sluggishly sat up and nonchalantly stretched as she tried to get her bearings while also trying to remember how the world worked. Feeling a breeze across her midriff, she realized that someone had changed her clothes from what she’d been wearing when Mjoll left. But that fact was much less important to her at the moment than the rapping on the cold floor that was starting to give her a headache.

 

Trace: H-huh? What’s…. AAAAAAaaaaahhh… What’s going on?

 

???: What’s going on, she says. You’ve got another visitor, ‘princess’!

 

 

Trace recognized the snarkiness in the person’s voice and immediately knew it to belong to Sapphire. But the thief’s annoyance with Trace’s didn’t do anything to contribute to the Imperial leaving the warmness of her bed any sooner. Finally deciding to cease her rudeness and give Sapphire her undivided attention, Trace turned back towards the Nord and immediately took note to what Sapphire was wearing.

 

Trace: Haaaaa… *sniff* New clothes? I may not be one of you guys anymore, but I know for a fact that’s not standard issue… So I’m guessing someone got a promotion? Congratulations.

 

 

Unamused by the Imperial’s remarks, Sapphire simply bore down upon Trace with an icy stare.

 

Sapphire: What I wear and why I wear it are MY business. I didn’t ask when an out of her mind clown came around the back entrance looking for you, nor do I care. Just hurry up and deal with her! We don’t need you to be the cause of more trouble for us any time soon!

 

 

And with that Sapphire stormed off, and even in her addled state Trace’s shock at the Jester’s arrival was stunted by the lack of surprise she felt. Somehow or another the jester had a decently sized network setup already in Skyrim, and if she was looking for Trace that only meant one thing: she had information on the Listener.

 

 

With no other obligations to attend to, and to get herself prepped for the task at hand, Trace, albeit rather lazily, on her Dark Brotherhood attire and looked around the Cistern.

 

Trace: This might be the last time I see this place… And I’m still on shit terms with everyone here…

 

 

???: That’s not one hundred percent true, lass. Most of them are still fond of ya. They just don’t like the foreboding of disarray that your presence brings.

 

 

Trace: Brynolf…

 

Trace didn’t turn to face him. She knew he was right, which only made it so much easier to rush off and do something that might make it so she potentially didn’t return. However, she knew that if she faced him now that he’d notice the faraway look in her eye and he’d do anything to stop her.

 

Trace: I’m about to leave for a bit. Can I entrust you to give something to Vex?

 

 

Brynjolf stood to Trace’s side, and she did her best to avoid eye contact with him.

 

Brynjolf: Why don’t you give it to her yourself, lass? Afraid she might not take it?

 

 

Trace pulled out a necklace and thrust it in front of the thief.

 

Trace: Just… Do this for me. Please. For old time’s sake… Big Bro Bryn.

 

 

Brynjolf: …Look at me.

 

Brynjolf reached out to take the amulet, but upon Trace shaking her head, he withdrew his hand and sighed.

 

Brynjolf: I won’t do it. Give it to her yourself—

 

 

Instead of listening to his denial, Trace dropped the necklace to the floor and ran as fast as she could out of the Cistern before Brynjolf or her emotions could persuade her to stay a moment longer.

 

 

Brnyjolf took a glancing look at the necklace that Trace dropped, and with a huff turned on his heel and left.

 

The sunlight welcomed Trace like a smack to the face, and she almost didn’t want to greet it after being cooped up in the Cistern for so long, but with the Brotherhood still possibly being targeted, Trace’s wants were of little concern at present.

 

 

Taking a deep breath, Trace prepared herself mentally for the exchange of words that was about to befall her.

 

Trace: I heard you were looking for me, Cicero?

 

 

Trace looked to her left and at the corner of the building saw the jester leaning rather comfortably against the cold stone wall, her vintage smile plastered on her face as per usual.

 

Cicero: Ah, she with many names! Pretender! Deserter! Listener! Cicero was amused to hear that you survived, best… friend! And not only that, you protected the Night Mother with your… body~

 

 

With a deep sigh and an annoyed look on her face, Trace turned to face the jester properly. However, rather than shape up the jester continued to chatter about at her own pace. Bending over and causing her cleavage to be more prominent, Cicero gazed up at Trace with a warm look in her eyes.

 

Cicero: But with word that the Brotherhood’s fallen, the winds have changed. Fools have stepped up and tried to replace us, even with you sending the pink fluff-ball to ax the Emperor, which I might add was a rather peculiar but ultimately satisfying choice.

 

 

As both a former and current member of the Dark Brotherhood as well as being the current defacto leader of the faction, Cicero’s words had more sting to them than the jester had intended.

 

Trace: There is NO group in Skyrim that can or will replace the Dark Brotherhood. Sure we were hit hard, but that doesn’t mean that we’re out just yet! We’re still the primary dealers of death in the province, and if these ignorant fools don’t know their place, we’ll just have to remind them. In any case, none of that is any your concern Cicero.

 

Cicero: *claps* Ohoho! Is it not? The Brotherhood’s business is Night Mother’s business, and Night Mother’s business is MY business. Oh perhaps… Were you looking to get rid of poor, sweet, Cicero?

 

 

Trace slammed her hand to her head, and shook her head.

 

Trace: (I’m not trying to get rid of you, but as always you’re forgetting the important issue here… You’re just not even supposed to be alive!) *sigh* Okay look, let’s keep this from becoming long winded. Why did you seek me out? Shouldn’t you be off trying to oil up the Night Mother’s body or something?

 

 

Cicero: Oiling up Mother’s body is a chore of utmost importance that you should WISH that you had the pleasure of partaking in! It’s an *ahn* oh so delicate process…

 

Cicero turned away from Trace and began caressing herself as to demonstrate the process. However, in doing so her voice started becoming much more sweet and sensual than it usually was.

 

Cicero: *moans* In… In fact, if you’re going to do it correctly and with care, as you should obviously, it’ll take. You A. Full. Day! So Listener or not, don’t you dare debase it just because you’ve… *shudders* lain with Mother!

 

 

There were so many things that Trace wanted to respond to, but as Trace said she didn’t want this to become a long winded affair and doing so would set off a chain of events that would leave the Imperial here all day debating the in’s and out’s Cicero’s rather sensual relationship with a corpse… That was something she’d much rather avoid in every possible situation.

 

Trace: My apologies if my comment sounded… Backhanded. I didn’t mean to *groan* offend.

 

 

Rather than turn around to face Trace, Cicero bent over backwards with one leg suspended in air and glared at the former thief.

 

Cicero: …Really?

 

Trace nodded her head, but the jester’s expression didn’t soften one bit.

 

Cicero: ReallyreallyreallyREEEEAALLLLLLYYY?

 

 

Trace: *sigh* I swear. I SWEAR! Happy?

 

Cicero returned to an upright position, faced Trace, and began looking her up and down for quite some time. Then suddenly she broke out into a dance, her usual smile returning to her face.

 

Cicero: Happy? H-happy!? Ahaha! Oh Listener… You sure do know just the right things to say to irk my nerves! Bwahaha! Ahhhh… But oh, there was truth in your words. Mother is indeed long overdue for a good oiling up. However, Cicero can’t get to Mother because of the blasted vampire and Redguard.

 

 

Trace could figure out where this was going and felt her eye twitch as once again it seemed like Cicero was taking their relationship back three steps every time she took one forward.

 

Trace: Uh uh! No way! Look here Cicero, I’m NOT going to even entertain the idea of you—

 

 

Cicero: Attacking them? Nonono!

 

Cicero leaned forward and wagged her finger.

 

Cicero would NEVER attack Mother’s children. They’re… my siblings in a way. Ahaha! But no, Cicero wishes to get back into their good graces, so I could resume my role in the Brotherhood… Officially…

 

 

Trace: I see… (That… Actually makes sense. Cicero has only seemed to hate how the Brotherhood was operating and Astrid’s disrespect of the Night Mother and her ways that were contrary to those of tradition…) So I assume you want my help in this endeavor?

 

Cicero: Hehehee! Oh, but of course! It’s mutually beneficial for the both of us as well. Despite all the ignorance seeping through the Brotherhood, there is but one enemy that seeks its destruction. And apparently she and you have a date of sorts.

 

 

The jester was known for speaking in a roundabout way, and considering she was even talking to Trace meant that she had no clue that Astrid was still alive and that Trace herself was harboring her. This meant that there was only one person that she was alluding to…

 

Trace: Solonva told you all this? Why?

 

 

Cicero turned away from Trace and her jubilant intonation and demeanor went sour.

 

Cicero: Cicero hates to admit this, but when he heard of the attack on the Sanctuary, Cicero thought he could kill the Listener! Not you, of course. But the other Listerner! In doing so, Cicero hoped to… ingratiate himself back into the Brotherhood’s favor. And so Cicero went to do just that… However, poor Cicero was… soundly defeated…

 

 

Cicero: The Listener… Solonva Hlaalu, the Blade of Sithis, carried out her duties more splendidly than Cicero ever imagined. If Cicero wasn’t on the receiving end, there’s a chance that Cicero would even say that they were… awe worthy~

 

 

Cicero twirled around with a smile on her face, and everything about her was able to mask the fact that this woman was seething venom just moments ago as she thought about the Listener and her defeat at the Listener’s hands.

 

Cicero: Ah! Cicero is sorry for being so super serious right there. Tee hee! But isn’t Cicero like that all the time? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm?

 

 

Trace: (No… You’re not…) *sigh* So I’m going to make another assumption here, but I’m guessing that Solonva didn’t leave you alive to spread word of how strong she was…

 

Cicero: Ahaha! Oh Listener, you always know exactly where Cicero’s headed. Maybe… Maybe that’s how you were able to defeat Cicero before… HA! But that’s in the past now! Over and done with!

 

 

Trace took a step back from Cicero and swallowed hard. The constant mood swings from elated, to murderous were starting to strain on the Imperial with the latest swing making the hairs on the back of Trace’s hair stand on edge.

 

Trace: (For… For a second there… Her eyes… She wanted to kill me!)

 

???: Why don’t you off her first? In fact, get what you need from her and kill the clown in as gruesome a manner that you can think of! It’s what she’d do to you!

 

 

Trace blinked and was unsure if her mind was playing tricks on her. This voice that had only crept its way into her head during her most rage fueled moments was plaguing her once again! However, instead of simply trying to make her give in to her rage, it seemed to be trying to force her hand which was slowing causing sharp pangs of pain to wreck her head.

 

Trace: (N-no… That’s… Not true! Cicero… For some reason she likes me! AAAAHHHHH!!! Get out of my head!)

 

???: You want me… To get out of OUR head? Dear, do you really think that would be wise? Don’t remember what happened the LAST time I was fully in control… Don’t you remember how… Exhilarating that all was? Just relax… I’ll take care of the annoying clown, and you can go back and wait for your lovers to return…

 

 

Trace staggered backwards and tripped to the ground. Although her ass and back stung from the fall, all of her attention went inward as she tried to hold the voice back.

 

???: …tener? …an you hear me…

 

Trace: (I don’t know what you’re talking about! Just go away!)

 

???: You want to keep living in ignorance, you’ll just end up hurting the ones you hold close. You think yourself incapable of making a clear decision… Then answer me this. If it came down to it, would you kill them if it meant YOUR survival? On second thought, don’t answer that… Because we both know that you—

 

Trace: S-shut up! I-I—

 

 

Cicero: Heeellllllooooooo! Hey Listener, you all there in the head? Need Cicero to give you a remedy to fix the self talkies?

 

Trace looked up and blanched at the thought that Cicero, of all people, was worried about her mental stability. With her once again leaning over, Trace saw that although there was a twinge of a smile on her face, her eyes were full of concern.

 

Trace: I’m… Don’t worry about me Cicero. What did Solonva want?

 

 

Cicero: Hmph! Weeeeeellll~

 

While she continued to hold onto her last syllable, Cicero spun around and took a few steps forward in order to allow Trace the breathing room to get to her feet.

 

Cicero: …ellllll~ Hehee! Cicero will tell, but only because you’re my beeeeeeeest friend! ’Kay?

 

Trace: (Her… I’m this crazy jester’s best friend!? I… No no no no, this is probably just her acting all loose and wild like she does. Yeah…) … *sigh* “’Kay”.

 

Cicero: Sooooooooooo~ The Blade said that she wanted Cicero to tell you that she wanted to settle things at where it all began. Where a shadow became the void, and where a hand became a fist.

 

 

Cicero pouted and looked at Trace with her head tilted.

 

Cicero: That mean anything to you?

 

 

Trace nodded.

 

Trace: *sigh* Ilinalta’s Deep. It’s where my first mark was held up at, where I first got to meet Solonva herself, and where I first purposefully took another’s life.

 

Cicero: Purposefully?

 

Trace: Before my first mark, I hadn’t killed anyone. Astrid killed the victims of my initiation, because I judged them all to be guilty and although I had scuffled with people during my time as a thief, I had never been in a tight of enough spot where I actually had to kill anyone.

 

Cicero: Hmmm… But your hands weren’t clean. If they were, the Night Mother would have waited until you muddied the waters before calling to you. Yes yes… Cicero is sure of it! You’d killed before, best friend! Ohoho! Astrid probably saw that you weren’t a virgin and wanted to hone your talents. But… It was more wasn’t it? Your kill… It wasn’t an accident, was it?

 

Trace shook her head and wretchedly clutched at her chest.

 

 

Trace: It… It was before I’d ever seen or heard of Vex… I was eleven, and some idiot adventurer was getting a bit too handsy with me outside of the Bee and Barb. I don’t even remember what he looked like, but I do remember his voice. He sounded old enough to be my father and his breath was beyond foul. He kept saying how he was going to bed me, make me a woman, all that garbage men say. Like, I know I went through puberty a little faster than usual, but I was a child! Who in Oblivion says these things to a child? *sigh* Anyway, I was going to full on ignore him because he was just being an idiot drunk like most of the fools who visited Riften at that time… But this guy was different…

 

 

Trace: He simply wouldn’t allow me to ignore him. It was as if he simply couldn’t get a hint. Not only that, the asshole was insanely powerful, and I DON’T mean for a drunk. I tried to make a run for it after turning him down for the fifth time, but in a single motion he forced me to my knees and placed his blade at my throat. I… He talked like one of those violent fuckers that I’d seen sweet talk whores into fucking them and then kill them afterwards, so I wasn’t about to let him do me in… If I could help it.

 

 

Cicero scratched the back of her head and began to laugh, albeit somewhat nervously.

 

Cicero: Ha haha ha… H-how did you get away?

 

Trace’s face perked up at this specific part of the memory, and she couldn’t contain her shit eating grin.

 

Trace: The guy was a certified ass, that’s how!

 

 

Trace: I don’t know how, but apparently I relented to doing the deed, but I kept going on about how my first time was supposed to be perfect. With the right mood, person, setting, all that nonsense I’d heard love stricken girls say to their equally love stricken boyfriends. But this drunk wasn’t love stricken, nor was he a boy. It was like my words flew in one ear and out the other… Or perhaps not. Thinking back on it, for everything I wanted he made sure to be the opposite. I guess he was trying to show me that life wasn’t perfect or something, but all he showed me was that sometimes the Divines are indeed looking out for you.

 

Cicero: That makes no sense. Him wanting to bed you taught you of the Divine’s blessing? Cicero has a deep and growing concern for your mental health, Listener…

 

Trace: Nononono! That’s not it, just listen and let me finish, okay?

 

 

Trace: So I was able to avoid fucking him until the mead he was constantly drinking finally ailed him and he was barely able to stand, at which point he decided that it was a good idea to take a seat on one of the railings overlooking the canals. So sure of himself and his ‘haul’, the brute leisurely took another swig out of his mug…

 

 

Trace: …And I jammed the damned thing in his face!

 

 

 

Trace: …In hindsight I probably shouldn’t have done that, seeing as it sent both him and me over the rail…

 

 

Trace: And we crashed into the canal below… Or so I thought.

 

 

Trace: I did indeed crash into the canal and was dragged by the current for quite a ways before I was saved by Edda before I ended up drowning. Heh, I’ve always made sure to give her some of my guild earnings for that… But the adventurer…

 

 

Trace: I didn’t see it myself obviously, but it’s said that he broke his neck and ended up dying before anyone found him the next morning.

 

 

Cicero: …He deserved an even more painful death for even attempting to mess with a child.

 

Trace was glad that Cicero felt so strongly about the subject, however she’d moved past it long ago so all she could do to reply to the jester’s raw emotion was shrug.

 

Trace: Eh. I mean, ultimately no harm came to me and I don’t have a trauma or anything… I just make sure not to deal with drunkards. A good practice in general if I do say so myself.

 

 

Still feeling a tad drowsy from having woken up not too long ago, Trace lightly stretched and smiled at the jester.

 

Trace: So, did she pick a date? Am I supposed to show at any particular time?

 

Her switch flipped, and once again Cicero was back to her grinning self.

 

Cicero: Nope nope nope! The Blade said that she’ll know when you know and she’ll be there when you come.

 

Trace: Good enough for me.

 

 

Trace was about to head off when Cicero grabbed her by the hand stopping her.

 

Trace: What’s wrong? Something else?

 

Trace tried to pull away, but when felt Cicero begin to tremble, she looked back and couldn’t believe the anguish on the jester’s face.

 

Cicero: You… You better come back…

 

Trace: Huh?

 

 

Cicero: CICERO SAID YOU BETTER COME BACK OR CICERO WILL COME TO THE VOID AND KILL YOU INTO A THOUSAND PIECES!!!

 

 

The jester’s sudden outburst made Trace remember Cicero’s earlier words, “but only because you my beeeeeeeest friend!” and she felt sick that she ever questioned the sincerity of Cicero’s words…

 

Having gotten that off her chest, Cicero tried to perk herself up and did her best to send Trace off with a smile, but she was unable to stop the tears that were freely falling down her cheeks.

 

Cicero: *sniff* Did you hear sweet Cicero? Return to us… Okay?

 

 

Trace couldn’t stomach the turn that this conversation had taken. What was supposed to be a simple information gathering discussion turned out to be  a heart-to-heart that Trace wasn’t ready for. Not this early in the day, and NOT with Cicero of all people! Not wanting to have to respond to the jester’s feelings at this moment, Trace gave her a slight nod before turning on her toe and walking with without uttering a word…

 

And based on the relieved tone in Cicero’s voice, this must have been more than enough for her…

 

Cicero: Hail Sithis…

 

 

The bitterness that Trace felt in the pit of her stomach caused her to break out into a full on run. Between the discussions with both Brynjolf and Cicero, Trace felt as though simply being in Riften was suffocating her and she wanted more than anything to get as far away from the Cistern, from Cicero, from the city as fast as she possibly could… Regardless of who she bumped and bruised along the way.

 

 

Due to her haphazard pace however, upon reaching the city’s gate Trace ended up bumping into someone whom she couldn’t simply barrel through. Not only that, although she was running at full speed it was Trace who ended up on her rear as a result of their collision.

 

Trace: Ugh… Dammit all! Watch where you’re stand—

 

Trace’s words got caught in her throat upon seeing who it was that she’d crashed into and her brain turned into mush. She wanted to run, hide, scream, hug… She wanted anything but to see this person right now, but just like she knew that the Divines sometimes were looking out for you, Trace also knew that sometimes they’d put you in situations that you ultimately wanted no part of.

Trace: …H-hi Mjoll…

 

Mjoll: Hello down there! Why so tense, Jalena? It’s a beautiful day, and you’re a beautiful girl. Why ruin this day and your face by being so on edge? Also, it’s nice to see you above ground for a change. Natural lighting really does do wonders you know.

 

Trace didn’t know if Mjoll was playing dumb or not, but her flippant attitude threw the Imperial for another loop.

 

Trace: Y-yeah…

 

 

Trace got to her feet but didn’t know exactly what to say to Mjoll. Luckily for her, it didn’t seem like she’d be the one steering this conversation.

 

Mjoll: Have you been well? I know it was only yesterday, but… Last I saw—

 

Trace reddened remembering the kiss they shared and how it left her incapacitated.

 

Trace: Y-yeah, I’m doing w-well… Y-you?

 

 

Mjoll: Just doing my new ritual of waiting around here for you, hoping to see you come or go before I actually get on with my day. I didn’t actually think this would work, but it seems I’ve been in the favor of your “Lady Luck” as of late. Heehee, lucky me!

 

Trace: *sigh* You know I could simply just sneak in and out of the city some other way…

 

Mjoll: But now that you know that this is going to me my routine, even if you were to bypass a direct meeting with me, wouldn’t you at the very least want to see me before you went about your business?

 

 

Trace’s eyes went wide.

 

Trace: You knew…

 

 

Mjoll: While I was waiting? I didn’t, not really. However, *smiles* not only have I always had a hunch of when you’re near, kind of like a Jalena sense, but your current outfit KINDA gave it away. It would have been nice if you’d let me… Let us know this yesterday, but… You WERE always an in the moment kind of woman I suppose.

 

 

Trace: I see… M-Mjoll… I—

 

Mjoll silenced Trace, not allowing the Imperial a chance to act sad or guilty.

 

 Mjoll: After this, will this be the last time you’ll be going off because of this Dark Brotherhood mess?

 

Trace nodded, but then shook her head after remembering her position within the Brotherhood.

 

Trace: I… I can probably have a more hands off role within them, however… I am the current leader of the Dark Brotherhood, and I promised Astrid that we’d rebuild. So if I can, I’d like to fulfill that promise. But regarding Solonva, the one you called the “Dunmer who listens,” Mjoll… I just—

 

Mjoll: *sigh* You’re not confident you can beat her are you?

 

Trace shook her head, and Mjoll sighed once more.

 

Mjoll: Figures. For as wonton as you can be, you’re not really all that strong when it comes down to an actual full on one on one fight. As I remember, you never could best me when we used to spar, and from what Bryn told me, you also weren’t able to hold your own against Mercer…

 

 

Mjoll closed the distance between them and embraced Trace reassuringly.

 

Mjoll: *smiles* But might doesn’t make right. Nor do the weak always lose. Just remember what and who you’re fighting for, keep a clear and rational head…

 

 

Mjoll: And I’m certain that there’s no one under Mundus that can defeat you, my love.

 

 

Mjoll let go of Trace and smiled.

 

Mjoll: So is there anything I can do for you on this side of the fight, Jalena? Other than have a warm meal waiting for you of course.

 

 

Trace: (She’s too good for me…) I need… Umm…

 

Trace searched through her clothes and found two letters. She quickly scribbled something on one of the letters, resealed it and handed them both to Mjoll.

 

Trace: There’s a Ranger that lives near Whiterun, can you make sure that these letters get to him?

 

 

Mjoll sighed.

 

Mjoll: Another lover I should be worried about? And this time a male one? *sigh* Why do I even—

 

Trace: Huh? Nonono! He’s the husband of a friend. I don’t know where she is at the moment, but I know where she’s going to return to. It’s… It’s a Brotherhood issue and I’d like it if this situation stayed within the Brotherhood and was handled by someone I trust without a doubt! So… Jol… Please?

 

 

Mjoll glared at Trace for a few moments, before her expression softened and she let out a small chuckle.

 

Mjoll: Haaa… There you go with those beautiful puppy dog eyes of yours… You know I can’t stay mad at you when you do that… Oh well, consider it done. And Jale—Trace, stay safe.

 

Trace: …I promise.

 

 

The two women shared a short, sweet and tender kiss…

 

 

…Before Trace made her way out of the city and for the fastest carriage to Riverwood.

 

 

Mjoll: Divines… Nocturnal… Sithis… Please bring her back to me. I beg of thee…