I've been following along fairly close to the schedule of this story but I haven't commented on it in what feels like quite awhile(I think it was when Malag died).

I re-read the entire thing today and wanted to vomit a bunch of ideas out there. If you've got a storyboard for part 3 ready to go then I'm likely wasting my time but hey maybe somebody will get a kick out of them.

 

I'll also toss out a review while everything is fairly fresh in my mind:

I think I liked part 1 more than part 2 overall, mostly as a consequence of the narrative. Part 1 is less polished but individual events were more varied and it was harder to anticipate what would come next. Part 2 was nice and some parts were done really well. I think the highlight overall was the corruption of Sirrae's thoughts post-Malag. Really good visual work with the changing of font to indicate whispering thoughts creeping in.

That said, honestly I think all of Part 2 sort of boils down to an extension of the end of Part 1. With the end of Part 1 being a heavily corrupted Sirrae valiantly defeating somebody profiteering off slave trafficking, nearly all of Part 2 was... a heavily corrupted Sirrae valiantly defeating multiple somebodies profiteering off slave trafficking. If that makes sense.
I still enjoyed it a lot, there's a lot of nice nuance along the way but zooming out defining the story as its most basic I don't think it's as interesting as part 1. I had forgotten quite a few early details and Sirrae exhibits a lot more different emotions and motivations earlier on. There's something to be said about the trauma she suffered as a slave completely focusing her onto one thing and that works. It's just that it has about ran its full course of entertainment value for now, it feels. There are nice punctuations that are super fun like the dream sequences and Sirrae struggling to comprehend how bewildering Malag's apparent motivations are compared to her vague impressions of "rapey slavey stuff".

The bad ends are all wonderful too and I think those in Part 2 vastly outshine those in Part 1.

I have the standard comments regarding the choice of text colors in the last few updates but those have clearly been acknowledged already, so moving on.

Uhhhh typo wise I think somewhere around Malag or just after you mixed up "loose" and "lose" a couple of times.

 

Back to my last comments about Part 2. I think the story is at it's best when Sirrae isn't capable of understanding people's motivations, with the example of Malag's dream of family, and a few of the dramatic examples in the bad ends standing out, Sapphire-but-evil was great and felt like something that gave hypothetical-bad-end-Sirrae somehting she never expected.

 

 

I'll use that as my segue into playing the obnoxious Ideas Guy again which I think I last did when Faendal was in the story.

I have zero expectation that any of these ideas are to anyone else's tastes but on the off-chance that they are, here we go:

 

I think I may have said something similar around the end of Part 1, that I was interested in Sirrae exploring who she is after everything that has happened. As I feel Part 2 didn't really change anything in that regard, I still think that's the best area to explore. Along with trying more mystery and intrigue with characters.
Sirrae post-Malag was ultimately what I felt Sirrae would be like post-Erikur. There are enough specifically new tidbits to take advantage of, though. From her time with Malag to the fancy new magical tattoo.

It would be nice to see Sirrae consciously make observations on how she is after everything. After rejecting Malacath's favor I'm sure the Malag-dreams have subsided, but it'd be nice to know that for sure. And I can see Sirrae exploring the nature of the new mark and its effects on her body as something compelling to outline.

Way back in... Chapter 11(aha, having all the tabs still open I can actually find it with no trouble) Elisif spoke to Sirrae about seeking out magical assistance that could help with the mark she was stuck with. I guess that did ultimately get taken care of but hey there's a new one so that plot thread would still function identically to how it would have before, if it were to be leveraged at all.

 

Sirrae has clearly become important and powerful, and more and more people will inevitably come to recognize it. I can see just as many if not more people wishing to control Sirrae compared to before, but for more reasons than just "me want hot elf"(though I'll assume that'll never not be the case).

And presumably some of those people will be intelligent and cunning. And it shouldn't take too much brain power to observe that the track record for controlling Sirrae has a 100% mortality rate if you exclude Elisif(to which the term "controlling" applies quite loosely, but I'll go with it for now).

Elisif herself seems quite vulnerable and under the spotlight as well. The war seemed heavily biased towards the Stormcloaks in your depiction of the world(at the end of Part 1 I think it was specified that Solitude was the final imperial holding left). But after primarily Sirrae's efforts the war seems more balanced and thus more people would be interesting in manipulating Elisif.

 

Manipulation. That's the keyword that I'm interested in most. Up until now, unless you count the conniving genius of one resident of Whiterun who scored a free blowjob, Sirrae hasn't ever really been manipulated.(Well, more precisely I suppose she has been constantly manipulated but only in one single way, repeated.) Erikur clearly manipulated Elisif and her court, but that mostly took place outside the focus of the story with the exception of its climax.(Heh. Climax.)

It'd be nice for Sirrae and Elisif to have to deal with people who Sirrae can't just stab or shoot to death, people that stick around and have varied goals and that offer certain things to justify their presence in or around Solitude. It'd be great if some of the villains were women, as the Bad-End-Sapphire demonstrates can be pretty compelling. I'll also just completely steal that idea and extrapolate it into something else.

 

I'm imagining if Sirrae and Elisif had to deal with people like:
Throughout all of Part 2 Elisif was likely coping with her own trauma, and while far less severe than Sirrae's experience, Elisif has a lot more power and money to fling around to have people help her with literally anything. Say Elisif sought out religious comfort for her damaged psyche, went through the hypothetical equivalent of a Catholic confession to a priest of Mara or Stendarr or something of the like. Got a lot of options to depict a priest or priestess manipulating Elisif. Could be constructive or destructive or even both at the same time. Maybe Elisif feels very paranoid and unsafe and is wearing a chastity belt to protect herself, as some priestesses of Stendarr advised her to. Maybe that's accompanied by some sort of ritual penance to banish lewd thoughts Elisif had admitted to, to preserve her public dignity and availability for re-marriage.

Sirrae could observe such things and contemplate them herself. Could get a Bad End out of Sirrae seeking out spiritual healing in a temple and ending up not enjoying herself very much as the temple is incapable of anything approaching modern psychiatric therapy and they just repeatedly fuck up with poorly advised therapies designed to cure somebody of extreme libido.

 

On Sirrae's end there are a lot of options beyond the one I've already mentioned. Malacath's attention, even though rejected has likely clued in other Daedric Princes to pay attention to this one very specific individual. A more hedonistic and generally benevolent prince might wish to sway Sirrae towards their service, a priestess of Molag Bal could wish to seek her God's favor by finally breaking Skyrim's most dramatic victim who despite it all has yet to be completely broken. Some princes may simply wish the Dragonborn to serve them as a powerful weapon and nothing more.

There are non-divine options too, ranging from simple people with a grudge, perhaps the spouse of a soldier who has arbitrarily decided to blame Sirrae and/or her desertion for the event and wants revenge.
Perhaps the Imperial Legion liaison to the Blue Palace has a particularly low view of Sirrae, considering her a disgrace to the Legion through some combination of her desertion and rumors regarding her past as a slave.

Perhaps even simpler still there happens to be a woman who catches Sirrae in the midst of some libido-driven casual fuck just so Sirrae has somebody to be incredibly embarrassed around.

Mages summoned in regards to studying Sirrae's mark and whatever results they yield could also be interesting.

Or another former slave who is Sirrae's comrade in debauchery.

There is no reason there only has to be one either, a lot of them could work together in different narrative ways.

 

Worked into a convoluted example:
Say Sirrae comes across a female mage somehow. Perhaps she's somebody who has come with the stated intent of answering Elisif's request to help Sirrae. Perhaps she's an existing member of Elisif's court. Perhaps she's just a random noblewoman or even just an experienced Hedge Witch or Vampire that has been around a long time and is very adept at manipulating people toward her own ends.

Somehow, this woman comes into knowledge of Sirrae's past. Through the process of "assisting" with the mark, or by pure chance just getting Sirrae very drunk in the late hours of an event at the Blue Palace. Sirrae's position in Solitude and the rumours of her in battle are enough for this ambitious mage to wish to control Sirrae. They think about doing so and realize that the caveman method of knocking her over the head and dragging her back into a cave for repeated coitus isn't enough to work, considering how many times Sirrae has survived it already. She identifies that Sirrae will obviously be very paranoid but also that Sirrae seems to legitimately adore Elisif. Elisif's personality is quite open for everyone to see, so the mage decides to go after Sirrae and exploit both her body and her mind together.

She worms her way towards becoming Sirrae's confidant, either through natural charisma and persistence, and or a little assistance from drugging or magically influencing her(both examples of some lewd narcotics exist from the slaves guild, and in the Potema Bad-End(another thing I'd completely forgotten about) there is some magical mind control stuff going on, so hey maybe some mages can do it too) and talks Sirrae into a very close relationship. Perhaps she drags Sirrae to bed immediately, or perhaps she plays the doting mother and just cuddles with Sirrae and whispers in her ear how she's safe now. Or both, that works too.

To master Sirrae, the mage comes to understand how easily the elf can be reduced to a puddle of lust, especially with her new mark in place. She gradually becomes more and more dominant towards Sirrae, appealing to Sirrae's very corrupted mind.

She ends up pushing Sirrae quite hard and a panic response reveals Sirrae's Dragonborn powers. The mage realizes that the wonderful object in their loose possession is far more valuable than they had previously realized and they make sure to console Sirrae thoroughly after pushing her a little too far. She spends just as much time dominating Sirrae as she does gently mothering Sirrae's fragile sense of security and comfort. But gradually the former increases and the latter decreases.

The mage unearths every detail of Sirrae's preferences and understands how "breeding" is a very enticing buzzword for Sirrae, and the mage isn't quite equipped to breed with Sirrae(I mean, she could be. But that's down to how one feels about stuff like futa). So the mage arranges for something to fill that (literal) void. Perhaps ensnaring some random man and blindfolding and gagging him, reducing him to a sex object. Or perhaps summoning a Daedra. Or even acquiring a creature of some sort.

A bound Sirrae anticipating her mistress to spank her and play with her body and pull her by her hair between her mistress' legs is surprised by her mistress announcing that she's found a solution to fulfilling Sirrae's desire to be bred and owned without putting her in the hands of a man(said with contempt, feeding off her horrific experiences with the opposite sex). Sirrae then quickly finds herself mounted by a dog that her mistress purchases/found/magically ensnared.

This is probably a bit too much for her to accept, but the pleasure accompanied by her mistress' kisses and her cheek and her hair being stroked while listening to assurances by her mistress that she is understood and that regardless of being reduced to a sex toy for an animal for an evening, that doesn't change how strong she remains to be. Sirrae is won over and by the time she finds herself knotted she's obediently nodding along to her mistress' declaration that restraints won't be necessary tomorrow but she'll have to wear a skirt and no underwear when visiting so that her new husband can mount her as he pleases.

Sirrae enters a rhythm where she's the strong functional captain of Elisif's guard by day, but privately they have a dominatrix who will treat them like a slave again. And she manages to balance both in her mind through the justification of her belief that her companion loves and understands and accepts her.

 

 

I guess in closing, more than anything it'd be nice to work some of the themes and consequences of bad ends into the canon story, but leave them as half measures or hanging threats and implications; and focus more on manipulation rather than simply taking complete ownership of characters.

I again apologize for writing so much of what is essentially fan-fiction. I'll keep reading regardless of what choices you make for the story, I just felt enthused enough about these ideas to share them.