Pretty good stuff, I like it enough to offer some constructive criticism. Wearing the gloves throughout the scene is a bit silly, especially as they're not present in the dressing up screenshots at the end and you could probably cut a number of screenshots throughout as sometimes they're a bit too similar to one another. Other than that, pretty good.

Graphically, the screens have good lighting, vivid colors, and good poses (enticingly taking advantage of the objects and environment). The dialogues are also well written, making the whole thing more convincing. Now, there are screens where you forgot to open the lips of your characters when they're talking (specially outside of sex scenes), and you choose an extra heavy 1920x1080 PNG format to share your images, only to get the resized to 1200x675. I would advice going for lightly compressed JPEGS, and to make use of the [ img ] bbcode in order to display your images full width (more info about that here, in part III for the full width). But overall, good work !

Malicia : « Dunno who that gal is, but that guy sure is very focused. Usually when someone else enters, they get very surprised,and then their pee-pee goes all flabby, uh.  »

14 hours ago, malvic said:

Pretty good stuff, I like it enough to offer some constructive criticism. Wearing the gloves throughout the scene is a bit silly, especially as they're not present in the dressing up screenshots at the end and you could probably cut a number of screenshots throughout as sometimes they're a bit too similar to one another. Other than that, pretty good.

Thanks. I agree that there might be a little too many screenshots here. I'll try to cut out some of the redundant ones in any future stories I do.

4 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Graphically, the screens have good lighting, vivid colors, and good poses (enticingly taking advantage of the objects and environment). The dialogues are also well written, making the whole thing more convincing. Now, there are screens where you forgot to open the lips of your characters when they're talking (specially outside of sex scenes), and you choose an extra heavy 1920x1080 PNG format to share your images, only to get the resized to 1200x675. I would advice going for lightly compressed JPEGS, and to make use of the [ img ] bbcode in order to display your images full width (more info about that here, in part III for the full width). But overall, good work !

 

Malicia : « Dunno who that gal is, but that guy sure is very focused. Usually when someone else enters, they got very surprised,and then their pee-pee goes all flabby, uh.  »

Thanks. I actually had no idea about any of this. I'll make sure to take a look at that guide and some of the other related ones when I make my next story.

Nice start!

Good work! The sex scene is very well done! 

And I agree with Tirloque, going jpgs is the way to go if you have more then a couple of shots.

Keep it up, can't wait for more!

Oooohh she's purty!

Nice sex scene!

I have 2 problems with the story though..

1st: How'd that courier get by the bitch at the entrance who always wants you to cast the ONLY spell you don't have, so she can sell it to ya?

2nd: Jarl or no, that dude would never have interrupted that "meeting"!

He might have watched an whacked off though...=)

Great stuff