Discussion about interests

[Lestath81]

Hi everyone,

 

I've created this topic to discuss interests about BDSM here, instead of the Introduce yourself! :3 topic, as Leon0803 and Tifa Lockheart suggested there.

 

Please, respect others' different opinion and try to avoid insult each other.

[Lestath81]

Quote

Punga:

Ha, you know what's laughable? Allowing your sub to dictate anything. I mean really, why do you even bother being a master if you allow your sub to control you. You've just proven my point about "switches".

The only control a sub should have is the "safeword". 

Let's continue this here. Sorry, but I was away from the forum for a while.

 

This time I agree a bit with you. The switch in charge shouldn't allow control over himself/herself frequently. But you forget that each of them used to be in 1 role in the moment except the point of switching (which I think shouldn't happen multiple times). As I said before, there are different types of switches, some can switch during the session, some not. I can't for example, maybe from sub to dom, but it is hard for me to hand over the control.

In other hand I can't imagine two 24/7 switches in a relationship eighter. Both of them are wearing eatch other's collar? But this proves only my narrow perspective about BDSM and switching...

 

From other point of view, I don't like to do anything that the other hates, when dominating her. Which means she dictates even beeing bound and gagged helplessly, disallowing her to do anything except signing the "safeword".

When beeing bound and helpless, you can fight against the restraints. You don't have to hold back your muscles, as you should when hitting by a whip... From this perspective, you have more freedom as sub than dom...

[Trash Metal Barbie]

Oooh i guess since it was at my suggestion I oughta say,  it's easier to say what I don't like tbh than do as my interests have broadened and developed a lot over the past few years. My hard limit no's are watersports + scat / the majority aspects of humiliation (I don't mind name calling etc in a derogatory manner) recently tried electro stim and con honestly say it's absolute pain incarnate, far far worse than any caning or paddling or spanking I've ever had or any other punishment for that, I guess if anyone has questions they want to ask a sub then I'll do my best to oblige :3

[Leon0803]

On 1/1/2018 at 2:07 AM, Tifa Lockheart said:

Oooh i guess since it was at my suggestion I oughta say,  it's easier to say what I don't like tbh than do as my interests have broadened and developed a lot over the past few years. My hard limit no's are watersports + scat / the majority aspects of humiliation (I don't mind name calling etc in a derogatory manner) recently tried electro stim and con honestly say it's absolute pain incarnate, far far worse than any caning or paddling or spanking I've ever had or any other punishment for that, I guess if anyone has questions they want to ask a sub then I'll do my best to oblige :3

Is there any specific reason/argument of yours that you dont like Humiliation or is it just a Feeling? im not saying that everyone should do it but i think it would be interesting to know your problems with it, as my sub doesnt have any with humiliation but with electro stim.

[Trash Metal Barbie]

52 minutes ago, Leon0803 said:

Is there any specific reason/argument of yours that you dont like Humiliation or is it just a Feeling? im not saying that everyone should do it but i think it would be interesting to know your problems with it, as my sub doesnt have any with humiliation but with electro stim.

I don't mind electro stim tbh, it's not a hard limit, but it is / can be quite painful,  I try to be pretty fair to my dom with regard to what I can both physically and emotionally handle as far as things go as essentially a sub has a considerable amount of pull over what goes and in order to maintain the balance as it should be I feel as though it's my job to honestly say what I can handle. It isn't humiliation as a core that I dislike it's where it crosses paths with other aspects that are a hard limit for example: one being told to stay where they are and not permitted to move even if they need the toilet classes as humiliation and is a hard no for me, as is public play though public may change in the future as I grow as a person. I've had a partner in the past that didn't leave me in a particularly great place regarding my self esteem or worth as a person so it's a little tough at times, but my current is amazing tbh, he's very emotional and expressive of his feelings and a gent and respectful.  

[Leon0803]

20 minutes ago, Tifa Lockheart said:

I don't mind electro stim tbh, it's not a hard limit, but it is / can be quite painful,  I try to be pretty fair to my dom with regard to what I can both physically and emotionally handle as far as things go as essentially a sub has a considerable amount of pull over what goes and in order to maintain the balance as it should be I feel as though it's my job to honestly say what I can handle. It isn't humiliation as a core that I dislike it's where it crosses paths with other aspects that are a hard limit for example: one being told to stay where they are and not permitted to move even if they need the toilet classes as humiliation and is a hard no for me, as is public play though public may change in the future as I grow as a person. I've had a partner in the past that didn't leave me in a particularly great place regarding my self esteem or worth as a person so it's a little tough at times, but my current is amazing tbh, he's very emotional and expressive of his feelings and a gent and respectful.  

The Key of beeing a dom is dominating your Sub in the limits he or she gives you, not beeing dominant in a whole.

 

If my girl struggles with something or hurt herself i cant keep myself together and need to care for her, its as always partners expressing their endless love to eachother.

 

My Girl had a panic attack today and she ran out of medication (im gonna carry that idiot to the hospital if i need to so she gets new ones) and as we both knew there wasnt anything i just kneeled next to her and waited for it to go over...its this inner most desire to protect her, that makes me want to have control over her.

[Trash Metal Barbie]

How bizarre I get anxiety and can be that way too at times but yeah I totally agree

[Dinosaurus]

On 12/31/2017 at 5:07 PM, Tifa Lockheart said:

recently tried electro stim and con honestly say it's absolute pain incarnate, far far worse than any caning or paddling or spanking I've ever had or any other punishment for that,

i've always wanted to try electro play, but have never done it because i was born with a congenital heart defect and have always been afraid any electro play (even far far away from my heart, like on my feet) might still trigger something with my heart issue. But, reading that you've had experience makes me want to live vicariously through you and ask you for play by play details, altho!! Disappointing to hear it hurts worse than any spanking you've ever gotten.

 

Altho i like to take the role of "Top" and play with masochists sometimes... i, myself, am not always the bravest when it comes to big pain! Altho, i guess everyone has their own interpretation/experience of pain, so....

On 12/31/2017 at 5:07 PM, Tifa Lockheart said:

I guess if anyone has questions they want to ask a sub then I'll do my best to oblige :3

....but you did say this! Sooo, i feel safe in nosily asking "In what setting did you get to try out electro play? Was it at a demo? Or with your partner? Or in some other situation? Where was the stimulation tried on your body?"

[Trash Metal Barbie]

It was with my partner at his house,  mostly to try it and see how I reacted to it in various places on my body, backs of hands isn't too bad, abdomen is painful in an unusual way,  it's hard to explain in the sense its not a physical sting or anything,  more like a very painful sharp ache. It's not beyond my limits but it makes me nervous,  I imagine we'll explore it further before it comes into use in a session in other area's. 

 

The cane is enough to have me like a kitten anyway xD Ive had some viscous marks from rather harsh lessons with that :3

[Dinosaurus]

Interesting description of the sensation, and thanks for answering my nosy little question ^.^ i always have loads of things i want to ask people, and really appreciate when people take the time to answer. Some people don't like being asked too many questions! So it's nice to find people who don't seem to mind.

 

i'm curious what other sorts of explorations you'll end up doing with electro stim...

 

And to stay on topic, i'll say one of my interests is voyeurism too, which is partly why i'm so curious about other people's experiences, i guess. Altho, i suppose, that's not necessarily strictly a bdsm-thing. There are probably plenty of non-bdsm people who are voyeurs.

[Trash Metal Barbie]

does / has , anyone had any experience with what id guess is classed as breath play and any advice on how to hold your breath longer, long story short last night i entertained the idea of trying a situation which involved a full bath tub , bent over the side , hips in air , head pinned underwater on the floor , as a situation it was pretty amazing and brought a new angle to things but its relatively hard to keep your cool and not open your mouth when you're having sex at the same time, so i was wondering if anyone had tried anything similar ? holding my breath for ages outside of underwater im absolutely fine, underwater during sex is , significantly harder

[Leon0803]

6 hours ago, Tifa Lockheart said:

does / has , anyone had any experience with what id guess is classed as breath play and any advice on how to hold your breath longer, long story short last night i entertained the idea of trying a situation which involved a full bath tub , bent over the side , hips in air , head pinned underwater on the floor , as a situation it was pretty amazing and brought a new angle to things but its relatively hard to keep your cool and not open your mouth when you're having sex at the same time, so i was wondering if anyone had tried anything similar ? holding my breath for ages outside of underwater im absolutely fine, underwater during sex is , significantly harder

 

what if you take the ability to breath? get some waterproof tape and there you go, just make sure to have a handsign as a replacment for a safeword

[Trash Metal Barbie]

8 minutes ago, Leon0803 said:

 

what if you take the ability to breath? get some waterproof tape and there you go, just make sure to have a handsign as a replacment for a safeword

its not so much the ability to breathe thats the problem , its more increased heart rate , the situation itself is quite intense with regard to emotion and such so naturally your breathing increases with your heart rate and its relatively hard to remain calm when someone is forcing your head underwater, i was wondering if anyone had tried or done anything similar and found its easier to manage if say you hold your nose or have your head in sideways not face down etc.

[Leon0803]

16 hours ago, Tifa Lockheart said:

its not so much the ability to breathe thats the problem , its more increased heart rate , the situation itself is quite intense with regard to emotion and such so naturally your breathing increases with your heart rate and its relatively hard to remain calm when someone is forcing your head underwater, i was wondering if anyone had tried or done anything similar and found its easier to manage if say you hold your nose or have your head in sideways not face down etc.

hm, maybe if you start of slowly and you get used to the water? or get pulled up and back down again every 1-2 minutes?

[Trash Metal Barbie]

more like 20 seconds if that , its really hard! theres so much going on

[JustMe469]

I can definitely chime in on the underwater thing. Almost exactly your situation except we were both IN the tub. She was on her back, legs up in the air, and I was in between them. I was holding her head up so she didn't have to strain. And when I dunked her down she was relaxed. But almost word for word like you said, the effects of having sex greatly increased heart rate and breathing so it was tough for her to last more than 20 to 30 seconds. I can tell you it really excited her though and she wanted to keep trying! The next time wasn't much different but by the third session (weeks later) she was much more relaxed and did last longer, but not a whole lot.

As another way of doing this, we tried giving her a snorkel so she could stay underwater (had to use doggy style that time) and I held my hand over the tube unless she gave the signal. This way lasted considerably longer but afterwards she and I both agreed it just wasn't anywhere near as fun.

[Guest]

On 18/03/2018 at 3:03 PM, Tifa Lockheart said:

does / has , anyone had any experience with what id guess is classed as breath play and any advice on how to hold your breath longer, long story short last night i entertained the idea of trying a situation which involved a full bath tub , bent over the side , hips in air , head pinned underwater on the floor , as a situation it was pretty amazing and brought a new angle to things but its relatively hard to keep your cool and not open your mouth when you're having sex at the same time, so i was wondering if anyone had tried anything similar ? holding my breath for ages outside of underwater im absolutely fine, underwater during sex is , significantly harder

I can talk a lot about it, already practice in many ways if you still care about

[Trash Metal Barbie]

23 minutes ago, Mr_Savos said:

I can talk a lot about it, already practice in many ways if you still care about

YEAH! its awesome but i suck at holding my breath when distracted apparently

[Guest]

12 minutes ago, Tifa Lockheart said:

OUAIS! c'est génial mais je crains de retenir mon souffle quand distrait apparemment

You have many ways , breath with tube underwater , breath your own air ( vicious, not doing for a long time ) and olding breath

[Trash Metal Barbie]

the latter was what i did , the former didnt fit the scene, i literally had to gasp for air inbetween when i could , nearly choked slightly at one point, not badly or in danger might i add and i did get time to catch my breath before things continued

[Lestath81]

Hi again, sorry for my long disappearance...

 

Humiliation: I don't like it eighter. I don't have the desire to humiliate others, or being humiliated. However, it is only a hard limit for me only in public. But if it is a desire of my partner, it is ok for me between 4 walls. This is simply not the part of the BDSM why I'm into it...

 

Electro: I didn't tried it on others, only on myself. As I have hearth issues too, strictly underwaist. I can tell that it can cause many variety of feelings. First of all, mutch depends on the lubricant you use. If you use a lot of conductor lubricant, you feel only the muscle related part. If you use less or non-conductor, it pinches like tousand of needles. On lower power with well conductive lubricants, it is not painfull, but a very intensive feeling like tousand of tongues (or I am too masochistic )...

But on higher power, with conductive lubricants, it constricts the muscles that hard, that feels like you are punched there. It is a blunt pain instead of sharp. It is very hard to stand, especially with higher frequency. And the worst is with a mid frequency+less conductive+mid power combination when it pinches too inflicting blunt and sharp pain as well. The pattern also counts, but not that mutch...

Anyway, using bi-polar clamps on nipples shouldn't be dangerous, as they doesn't close the circuit through the chest, but the nipple itself instead. But I've never tried electro above waist, and I won't...

 

Asphyxia: I banished it long time ago, because it is very-very dangerous if you are alone (and yep, I usually play alone because I didn't find a partner, and both of my switch sides become satisfied ). The water play is not one of my favourites, as you can swallow too mutch water if you can't hold your breath, as mentioned above. But if you use textile on the face, wetting it continously, it keeps the air away only for a short period of time and you can't swallow too mutch water...

In other hand, using plastic, latex, etc bag/wrapping on the head is without the possibility of swallowing water... But as I said before, never alone because you can pass out and die...

And of course sliding knot around the neck is strictly seriously banned (many people died because of this), but it isn't adviced in BDSM in anywhere around the body, but I think this is self-evident...

With partner, it is still dangerous. I never had so mutch trust toward a woman to give the control of my breath to her. And I've never met a woman brave enought to try it, even if it is a well known fact that this can greatly enhance orgasm...

[Zoey McKenzie]

Whoa, reading this topic. I thought my interests were pretty hardcore. xD

 

I'd love to be tied up tight. While sensory depraved with a blindfold and a gag.

But if I had a Mistress I'd really trust and love. I'd totally be open to experiment more.

 

Kind of a big turn on, to be forced into situations while tied up. Like, I don't have a choice.

Only moan on my gag, and shake my head. But I can't actually say 'No'.

Bonus points if I can't see it either, with a blindfold.

 

Of course, something like that would require huge amounts of trust, on both sides.