Sex on the First Date (Guys Perspective)

[FinalCloud]

Ok, am I too traditional, or is it depressing that I as a guy have to deter the girl from having sex on the first date (hell I dont mind it, my junk says yes, but my head says no), even when she hardly knows me!

 

Way I look at it, if I was quite into her it makes me wonder how she is, is she easy, would I trust her if it took me this little effort to get into her pants? Am I too traditionalist? Are the days of men being the ones that apply pressure and women wanting to be classy a thing of the past?

 

I find it ironic how feminism is becoming a thing, but women seem to be at their least feminine, I wonder if this is related -.-. Are women starting to think more like men and/or are men starting to think more like women? Or something in the middle...

 

This is not a debate on gender equality, merely my own thoughts. If u are here to flame, bugger off...

[legoaddict2000]

 I've had past experiences with girls that seemed really easy to get with. You are correct, often times the girls that are the easiest to get are the least loyal. So if you value loyalty, you can't settle for a girl that wants sex that bad and expect her to not cheat on you. I think that today's society is extremely open about sex, and I'm personally not a huge fan of it. Sex, at least to me, is the most validating thing you can do to a person and if you can do that with a person that you barely know, then you don't deserve to do it. The sexual revolution was a mistake in my opinion. Being a virgin is the only thing you can prove to someone else. You can't prove to anyone that you've never kissed, or that you've never been in a serious relationship, but at least for a girl you can prove you're a virgin or you haven't had sex much. I'm still a senior in high school, born in 1999, and girls in my school are extremely sexual. The only girls that have attracted me are the ones that AREN'T going around with their boobs and ass half out. Sure, those girls turn me on sexually, but they don't make me want to date them. I agree with you.

[GimmeBACON]

My current gf of +3 years started from a drunken one-night-stand... not even a date, but we've been good together because we just gelled. Sometimes people should listen to their brain, but a lot of times, following your instinct will lead you through your life just fine.

[FinalCloud]

Heh, well u are alot younger than me I was born in 1990, I am not a virgin, actually I lost mine at your age to a girl I didnt care about, just because I could and I was embarrassed that I was still a virgin. Honestly I do not know what the cause of it all is. We all know that a guy will happily say yes if a women offers herself to him (even I would if I didnt want a relationship with her and she was clean).

 

I think I have slept with 7 women in my life, and I have never actually been in love, put it that way, I struggle to find women with a personality that I actually like these days, think I would have had a better time in victorian England -.-.

[GimmeBACON]

I think I have slept with 7 women in my life, and I have never actually been in love, put it that way, I struggle to find women with a personality that I actually like these days,

Maybe you should try and just find a friend? Find somebody you like to be with, and not equate it to a romantic relationship... just let things happen the way they do.

 

You're bound to find somebody you can tolerate eventually.

[FinalCloud]

I have had a few female friends, dated 1 or 2 of them, the one I have known longest was friends with her for 9 years or so (never dated her), all I ever saw her do was boss me around, use me to fill the void when she had no bf, take advantage of my generosity and sleep with a bunch of guys. Currently we are not on good terms.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

If they want to fuck on the first date, that's awesome, that means she's not going to make you work too hard for it. Chicks are like roller coasters, man. Jump on for the ride, enjoy it while it lasts, then move on. There's a long line of guys waiting behind you.

 

Just don't get too attached.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

I have had a few female friends, dated 1 or 2 of them, the one I have known longest was friends with her for 9 years or so (never dated her), all I ever saw her do was boss me around, use me to fill the void when she had no bf, take advantage of my generosity and sleep with a bunch of guys. Currently we are not on good terms.

 

Ah, the classic "friend zone" maneuver. I feel your pain, I had a chick do that to me on and off for 5 or 6 years. She used to do stuff like walk around naked in front of me and be flirtatious when it was convenient, or just to keep me interested. She took complete advantage of my feelings and attraction to her.

 

Never again, will I let a chick get that close.

[fuckmemore123]

   

[Jazzman]

Mi jus hope dat mi little bwoy ah better prepared when im become first-dater some day...  

[FinalCloud]

@Z0mBieP00Nani

 

Fortuantely I had no feelings for her, otherwise I would not have been staying friends with her that long =/

 

@Jazzman What?

[pinky6225]

Depends on the value you place on sex i suppose, never equated chastity with feminism or being feminine myself and i dont really get how loyalty can come into it, assuming your both single as its a first date there is nobody to be disloyal to by engaging in sex

 

Without the other side it could range from did she just have a easy going attitude to sex and wanted to do it? to past experience taught her that no sex on 1st means no 2nd date?

 

 

[arpaschad]

No... I am too traditional... and I am too scared getting the cake and eat it when I just started working at the bakeshop...because maybe the baker will accuse me of stealing that cake when she just hired me...

 

unless the world is ending and me and that baker are the only ones left in the world...then by George, Mary and William I'm gonna bake the shit out of that cake and then eat it...make me some creampies too...

 

until then...I would like to know more about who I am working for...

[Jazzman]

...

 

@Jazzman What?

That: I just hope that my little boy is better prepared when he becomes a first-dater some day.

However, that's not how normal peeps talk over here. Some guesswork might be necessary, e.g. if one is a Brit and unfamiliar with Reggae or Dancehall music...  Sorry

[Guest Katherlne]

Masturbation counts for sex? My girlfriend just invite me to her apartment for make some homework together. We were alone and after we done with homework, we start casual conversation and after... She start fingering me until i cum...

[FinalCloud]

Depends on the value you place on sex i suppose, never equated chastity with feminism or being feminine myself and i dont really get how loyalty can come into it, assuming your both single as its a first date there is nobody to be disloyal to by engaging in sex

 

Without the other side it could range from did she just have a easy going attitude to sex and wanted to do it? to past experience taught her that no sex on 1st means no 2nd date?

 

Loyalty doesnt come into play on the first date itself. But if they sleep with a guy they barely know on the first date, if/when it moves forward to being a relationship, it makes you wonder how much effort it would take for other men to get her to sleep with them.

 

If you had a daughter would you teach her that no sex on the 1st date means no 2nd date? I wouldnt.

 

 

 

...

 

@Jazzman What?

That: I just hope that my little boy is better prepared when he becomes a first-dater some day.

However, that's not how normal peeps talk over here. Some guesswork might be necessary, e.g. if one is a Brit and unfamiliar with Reggae or Dancehall music...  Sorry

 

 

I did read and roughly translate your comment, but I couldnt really see what the point of it was (and now also what the point of typing it like that was when u can, evidently, type properly). But, whatever, I hope he is to, and I hope he doesnt have to put up with some of the shit I have as well.

 

@Katherine, errr ok. Good to know, glad you enjoyed your fingering session?

[Guest Katherlne]

 

@Katherine, errr ok. Good to know, glad you enjoyed your fingering session?

 

 

Sorry, my message been a little awkward... I just read your confess and remember this episode and i just think, can be this moment be considered by a sex on the first date? Because formally fingering can't be considered by sex and her invite to do homework can''t be considered by a date, i think... Anyway sorry for my awkward details...

 

p.s. i do not understand, you asked a question or confirmed?

[Tirloque]

If they want to fuck on the first date, that's awesome, that means she's not going to make you work too hard for it. Chicks are like roller coasters, man. Jump on for the ride, enjoy it while it lasts, then move on.

Such a cynical point of view ! Hopefully some couples will love each other sincerely, just seeing relationship as a ride seems a bit sad to me.

 

 

 can be this moment be considered by a sex on the first date? Because formally fingering can't be considered by sex

Why shouldn't it ? As long as it involves a sexual part from one of the partners, sex can be oral, anal and of course manual. It's just often a preliminary for a vaginal/anal intercourse, but among homosexuals or in certain contexts it can sum-up the whole sex by itself.

 

[FinalCloud]

 

 

@Katherine, errr ok. Good to know, glad you enjoyed your fingering session?

 

 

Sorry, my message been a little awkward... I just read your confess and remember this episode and i just think, can be this moment be considered by a sex on the first date? Because formally fingering can't be considered by sex and her invite to do homework can''t be considered by a date, i think... Anyway sorry for my awkward details...

 

p.s. i do not understand, you asked a question or confirmed?

 

 

My question mark in that quote was being facetous really, because I didnt know what u meant, and didnt see the relevance, I think with the other comments I have kinda pieced together your point.

 

Altho it depends on your use of the word "girlfriend";

 

if you mean a girl who is your friend, I cant really comment as a relationship between two girls who are friends is not something I can full understand (given I can obviously never experience it), but based on my understanding of it, if two women are friends and close and want to mess around, its fair enough I suppose. Altho I know for sure I would never let another dude anywhere near my junk, even my best mate

 

if you mean you are lesbians and she was a girlfriend (romantically) then it is a different situation to what I was saying, obviously if its your girlfriend, have as much sex as you want. I would be.

[Jazzman]

 

Depends on the value you place on sex i suppose, never equated chastity with feminism or being feminine myself and i dont really get how loyalty can come into it, assuming your both single as its a first date there is nobody to be disloyal to by engaging in sex

 

Without the other side it could range from did she just have a easy going attitude to sex and wanted to do it? to past experience taught her that no sex on 1st means no 2nd date?

 

Loyalty doesnt come into play on the first date itself. But if they sleep with a guy they barely know on the first date, if/when it moves forward to being a relationship, it makes you wonder how much effort it would take for other men to get her to sleep with them.

 

If you had a daughter would you teach her that no sex on the 1st date means no 2nd date? I wouldnt.

 

 

 

...

 

@Jazzman What?

That: I just hope that my little boy is better prepared when he becomes a first-dater some day.

However, that's not how normal peeps talk over here. Some guesswork might be necessary, e.g. if one is a Brit and unfamiliar with Reggae or Dancehall music...  Sorry

 

 

I did read and roughly translate your comment, but I couldnt really see what the point of it was (and now also what the point of typing it like that was when u can, evidently, type properly). But, whatever, I hope he is to, and I hope he doesnt have to put up with some of the shit I have as well.

 

@Katherine, errr ok. Good to know, glad you enjoyed your fingering session?

 

The point made is quite apparent. I don't want him to become a loser like some are or just pretend to be in this very thread. Moreover, you guys produce enough typos and grammar errors mixed with slang to be dismissed when it comes to proper Cambridge English as the bar of things, okay? Move on and be happy.

[Guest Katherlne]

 

if you mean you are lesbians and she was a girlfriend (romantically) then it is a different situation to what I was saying, obviously if its your girlfriend, have as much sex as you want. I would be.

 

Before that episode, I was not sure about my preferences. She just gave me a push to understand them. She is more self-confident and dominant than I am. We have been together for more than two years.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

 

If they want to fuck on the first date, that's awesome, that means she's not going to make you work too hard for it. Chicks are like roller coasters, man. Jump on for the ride, enjoy it while it lasts, then move on.

Such a cynical point of view ! Hopefully some couples will love each other sincerely, just seeing relationship as a ride seems a bit sad to me.

 

I hate to say it, but like 90% percent of relationships (and marriages) turn into this. The guy and girl date for a while, the fucking gets old, there isn't much else holding the relationship together, and then one party or the other starts looking for a way out, whether that's a break up, cheating and THEN a break up, cheating and an EVENTUAL break up, a sexless marriage (at least for you) if things got that far, or a 60% to 50% chance of a potentially nasty divorce.

 

Either way, the odds are overwhelmingly stacked against the survival of the relationship. It's just easier to enjoy it while it lasts, but make an effort not to get attached, and not invest too much into it.

 

This is how it has played out in my life, this is how it has played out in my parent's lives, and this is how it has played out in just about every one of my friend's lives the numerous times I have seen them in relationships.

[Guest Katherlne]

 

Moreover, you guys produce enough typos and grammar errors mixed with slang to be dismissed when it comes to proper Cambridge English as the bar of things, okay? Move on and be happy.

 

  I just can only image how hard sometimes read some of my posts. My English pure - "self learn" + google translate... So i want to apologize before every native English speaker members

[FinalCloud]

@Jazzman What do you mean "you guys produce enough typos..." (who are you guys? people in this forum?), either way I do not require perfect English, I sure as hell do not type perfect English myself on forums, but I cannot fathom why you would deliberately type the way that message was typed =/. I think it is fair to say it was far worse than what I am typing now.

 

Honestly I wanted some actual sensible discussion on this from sensible people, if the best u can do is throw labels around about people you know nothing about, why bother responding?

 

@Katherine I was not complaining about your typing, it is clear that you are non-native, and I am sure your English typing is far better than my (whatever language you use) typing

[Tirloque]

 

I hate to say it, but like 90% percent of relationships (and marriages) turn into this. The guy and girl date for a while, the fucking gets old, there isn't much else holding the relationship together, and then one party or the other starts looking for a way out, whether that's a break up, cheating and THEN a break up, cheating and an EVENTUAL break up, a sexless marriage (at least for you) if things got that far, or a 60% to 50% chance of a potentially nasty divorce.

 

Either way, the odds are overwhelmingly stacked against the survival of the relationship. It's just easier to enjoy it while it lasts, but make an effort not to get attached, and not invest too much into it.

 

This is how it has played out in my life, this is how it has played out in my parent's lives, and this is how it has played out in just about every one of my friend's lives the numerous times I have seen them in relationships.

 

You are right about the odds, in our society couple relationships do become more and more alike to mass consumption products, with an expiration date and handy replacements solutions.

 

Yet... I have seen people with 30, 40 and even 50 years of marriage going, and still in love. I even recently learned that a reasonably old couple i knew... in fact met in preschool. So my conclusion is that it's still possible ; and that we are the ones who have to change themselves... if we want to defy the odds.