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Is He Making A Pass At Me?


StayFrosty

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with all due respect, i dont wanna be the jerk here... but what about you? in general humans should do what is best for them. if you think that goin there is the right thing, god bless you. i for myself wasted a shitload of money and time for someone that after a while simply disappeared, and i curse the day when i went from workaholic to "caring husband". after all its me that pays the bill now.

 

mercy and empathy is fine, and nice, a very honorable character... but exactly this is what made me fuck up myself without even noticing it, and tbh, im never gonna do that again. after all its all about the own survival and being also happy yourself, not making others happy. (thats why i tell people to go fuck themself if they start nagging in my mods support topics :D ... joking. ... or am i? *yoink*)

 

our hearts simply sometimes cloud our judgement. i hope i translated that right and you get my idea, im not native english. best of luck, may malacath be with you ;)

 

ps: yep, folks are right, sounds like hes hitting on you. but who knows, i guess its simply him being lonely.

 

Actually going there and helping them works for me, I get what I want out of it too, I get to do what I love doing and do best...I developed the required skills for this kind of work over the last two decades because it's what I want to do, what makes me miserable is not being able to do what I love and I have not been able to do what I love for many years now. I am not as altruistic as it appears, I am not sure I could do it if it's something I would despise, considering how long term it may be also...then again I don't know, my sick friends Doctor told him to write up his Estate, the inference in it is ground shaking and knowing I can help maybe I would have gone there anyway, I don't know, I can't answer that....And well, plus the humor and topics of conversation interest work for me too, I don't think I could have handled it well if they didn't share my kind of humor, I think humor is going to be essential to sanity for me in the world they live in.

 

I could say something here about passing up new and potentially wonderful opportunities and life experiences when we continue to hold onto the anger over bad experiences...but I won't.... :P

 

Will be checking out your Mods now.... :)

 

Yes, hearts are a funny thing and a huge pain in the ass at times...always gotta stop and really think about where it's coming from before deciding what to do...like you I learned that one the hard way also.

 

Yeah, I have become convinced now that he is in fact hitting on me, thanks to all the help I have had here...now I just have to sit and think and work out what to do about about it and how to handle it...I like him, but too much riding on the whole situation to run away with the fairies on it....Yes, he is lonely, he has stated that to me a number of times and I take it as said.

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lol so what are you asking?

if you should move to them help them out? If they are your friends yes.

is this guys hitting on you? Fuck yes, 99% men to women relations can be reduced to fucking.

 

If you have at last some respect for yourself do not fuck:

- because you pity someone.

- If you have respect for someone, you will lose it afterwards.

 

The decision to move there and help them has already been made months ago. What I'm asking was yes, "is this guy hitting on me?"

 

When I was young and stupidly naive I fell into the trap of the pity fuck more than once... :( ...but that is long, long past now and not to be repeated. Is a warning I have hammered into my daughters, not to fall for the BS....never sleep with someone due to pity, pressure or intimidation.

 

As for the 99%, I surely hope not... :( ...a good fuck doesn't make up for a lousy house buddy who gives you the shits with their life style or is as boring as shit....I'm rather picky... :P ...catch the mind and the body will follow, otherwise 'nah, I don't think so'... I don't know how he see's it, but is quite the gentleman, so would be very surprised if he admitted such a thing...but then again wouldn't he have stuck with the easily accessible and in reach Drug Heads by now if that were the case?...We are all in our 40's.

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   So much at stake with something like this...  Like a roll of the dice and everything at stake, you could win or you could lose. The price is very high and the payout is,.. unknown.  Always stick with the question - does the benefit outweigh the cost? ( Served me well back in high school drugs and alcohol ruled my life, until I asked myself that. )  It really speaks to your character though that you would make such a life changing decision to help someone in need, so far away and in such a precarious position. In the end it comes down to would it make you happy? who would it hurt? what is the ultimate cost?

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Before I say anything regarding the topic, I want to explain my view of life.

Now bare in mind, I am not old enough to really give experienced answer to life itself and everything it has to offer.

 

However, I strongly believe that our current system and our ways of life is wrong. I wont go deeper into it here, because it's not the right place.

But if you really feel like this is something you want to do, you really should do it. Not because you feel bad for anyone.

At the same time, I wish more people were like you. I mean, you are willing to move half across the planet.

If we all had that mentality, Earth would be such a better place. So my view of life is this:

 

Life is all about learning new experience and try to do as much as possible to break our current mundane style of life.

Travel the globe, diving in the sea, walking across mountains and just soak up as much positive energy as you can muster.

Being stuck on the same job, doing the same things over and over again, is no real happiness at all.

 

So, are you really willing to move because you want too, in your heart? Or just do it, because you feel bad for the other person?

It's nothing wrong in doing things for others, just because you feel bad for them. But with great decisions comes great alterations.

Especially in this case. It's very important you now that. Because you will change your life, but also theirs.

For good and/or worse. Maybe I am exaggerating things, but I honestly think, doing things because "it's the right thing to do" or "expected" is wrong.

 

You seem to already have made up your mind thou, and I wish you all the best. If more people were like you, ready to drop everything, sacrifice their safety (meaning, their current life) planet earth would be a much nicer place to walk around on. Who knows, you might find a partner for life. or maybe not. Love is something you sometimes need Lady Luck for. :P

 

Now, about the topic. As male, I would like to say, "what do you think, he is a guy, of course he is hitting on you"

But many times this is not the case. But what you have described, it sure does sounds like it.

But he may also be lonely. All he do is to look after this ill man.

 

The best thing to do, is simply to ask. Now this is something that for some people is difficult to do. But without questions, we don't get any answers.

And, if you ask and get an answer, you can simply go from there. It's better than just wait and see what happens.

 

 

 

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To offer a, well, not really a counter point... just a slightly different perspective on the whole "He's a guy so he wants to fuck you" thing. I'm not saying that opinion is "wrong," as in regards to that he's interested in you. Sure, he can be interested in you. And yes, maybe that's the "root" or "base" of his interest. However, who knows. It could easily be just one facet of his interest and appraisal of you as someone of value to his life. That's from my own personal experience: Apparently a woman is interested in me. I begin to become friends with this woman. I am feeling so very happy, and I feel this woman is interested in me. I bring up the question of us possibly having more than friendship. She says no. Does this hurt? Yup. But was that "all I wanted" from her? Absolutely not. There are a lot of people that shout out that for a man to be friends with a woman, sex has to be a part of it. It doesn't. I still value her as a friend, simple as that. I know that's not the case for all, but it can still end up being the case. Just offering that other view point. 

 

And for the record, I wish you the best of luck, and the greatest of happiness, whichever way this turns out for you. :)

 

*And if you want to read a bit more about this topic I'm speaking on, if you didn't read this thread already, I've written more on this elsewhere:

 

 

 

 

IMO, guys are meant to hook up with girls, and girls are meant to hook up with guys. Go ahead...try to be friends. If you find them attractive, or they find you attractive, then you've got an emotional rollercoaster on your hands. A disaster, just waiting to happen. If a guy's nice to you, and wants to hang out with you, or call you, or anything like that, he wants you. Period. Being "friends" with someone you know likes you is cruel. Cut it out!!

Sometimes you can't have some things. That's okay. There is nothing wrong with a relationship developing to another branch than what might have happened. I say this as someone with friends who are women. Some are in relationships. Some are not. Am I attracted them? Yup, I'm attracted to a lot of women. And you know what? I'm okay with being friends with them, it sure as hell isn't "cruel" of them to do that to me. In fact, it's quite wonderful.

I'm nice to people because I try to be a decent human being.

 

The most important thing is to simply be... emotionally flexible? Bah. I feel that's far too cold a term for it. I don't know. Just view people as human beings first, not as their gender. I'm not saying don't see their gender, we all do that. But just because I'm friends with someone, and they are a woman, doesn't mean I'm hurting because I don't get to fuck her. I'm friends with her. That's great, and that's all I need from her. If one day, one of these female friends was like "hey, I'm interested in more" I might be like "okay" for some of them. For some of them maybe not. It's all based on the individual. Hell. I think I'm just rambling without a goal or purpose now. 

 

But yeah. Women who are friends with me who I find attractive: don't cut it out. You are more to me than just a goal, a prize, a trophy, or a conquest. You are a human being, and I value you as such.

 

 

 

 

I remember reading that response in your 'spoiler', I agreed with you....and yes I have a number of male friends myself, one I liked for years but he has hang ups and can't be with any woman no matter how he feels about them, he and I remain good friends to this day...it hurt for a while, but as you state we get over these things.

 

As for E, I would stake my life it's more an emotional rather than primal drive in him...I mentioned they have had hellish lives....Their Mum died (murdered) when they were children (10 and 13 years old) and their Dad was absent....T and the older brothers (T third oldest) were taken in by their Aunt, E and the two younger sisters were bounced around Foster Homes...and Boys Homes in E's case....T deals with it with anger, E deals with it with sadness and trying to give those troubled Teen Boys what he didn't get....and both have sought emotional support from me numerous times, but have also been easy enough to handle each time....I am well aware I am walking into a situation where there will be a lot of intense emotional demands put on me, am already dealing with those demands and been through the worse (I hope), making damned crystal clear they understand I am no replacement for the woman they loved and lost, nor am I a mind reader....Maybe E is just looking for that 'maternal' replacement in me and mistaken it for attraction, I don't know...but I do know once he comes clean and fronts up (have been encouraging him to spill it now) I will be saying let's get to know each other better first and take time. I like him, he is the most generous man I have ever known...but the situation, his drive and the trouble a fouled relationship could lead to in regards to T's health, well there's a lot riding on it....T's health and easing the responsibility on E's shoulders are the primary objectives and why I am going there in the first place.

 

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   So much at stake with something like this...  Like a roll of the dice and everything at stake, you could win or you could lose. The price is very high and the payout is,.. unknown.  Always stick with the question - does the benefit outweigh the cost? ( Served me well back in high school drugs and alcohol ruled my life, until I asked myself that. )  It really speaks to your character though that you would make such a life changing decision to help someone in need, so far away and in such a precarious position. In the end it comes down to would it make you happy? who would it hurt? what is the ultimate cost?

 

Yes, there is a huge amount at stake, is why I put up this thread, I needed help to see more clearly E's intentions given the possible ramifications in the situation.

 

I know that question and for similar reasons....I was an active Alcoholic, spent 5 years in a pretty much 24/7 drunken stupor...then fell pregnant, I asked myself a similar question on discovery of pregnancy...Can I Abort? No...Can I Adopt? No...Can I give this unborn child the life I have? No...so I put down the Bottle and began my work on getting my shit together. I am in fact able to enjoy a few drinks now, but NEVER get drunk and never again will, it's not worth it.

 

The pay out is saving T's life and giving him back his life...whether I can achieve all that or not remains an unknown really, but is it worth the battle? Yes, it is. I can't have my friend go like this and would never forgive myself if I didn't give it the best I have got....his in a world of pain and I can help.

 

I really don't know what my character is...instinct or drive possibly...I don't know, but what I do know is I need to be able to look in the mirror and be at peace with the person I see there, that's what ultimately matters to me at the end of the day.

 

Your questions...very good questions and need to be thought about, you are right.

 

Would it make me happy? Yes, if I can pull off what I am setting out to achieve, it would make me ecstatic...would make me feel I have REALLY given something in my life.

 

Who would it hurt? My family are already missing me, but they understand and support why I need to do this...my biggest hurdle is making sure my Daughters will be fine...(they want me to help my friend) my eldest (20) is no problem, she's sorted and well on her way in life. My youngest (17) has been the stress, having to make sure she is happy with the next few years plans for her, her education and her living arrangements, but my mum and sister have stepped up to the plate...I am just dealing with her education plans and talking with her about how she feels now.

 

What is the ultimate cost? I don't know, there are so many variables...I have put in place a fall back plan though, just in case...I used to do 'Live-In-Care' with the elderly and disabled in England...Canada offers the same international job opportunity and I have all my necessary tickets and credentials to do so...and a good reputation in that industry, is a walk in job for me if things go pear shaped...and so I am safe, not left floundering and lost in a foreign country...that would have been my greatest concern and fear, abandonment in a foreign place.

 

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Before I say anything regarding the topic, I want to explain my view of life.

Now bare in mind, I am not old enough to really give experienced answer to life itself and everything it has to offer.

 

However, I strongly believe that our current system and our ways of life is wrong. I wont go deeper into it here, because it's not the right place.

But if you really feel like this is something you want to do, you really should do it. Not because you feel bad for anyone.

At the same time, I wish more people were like you. I mean, you are willing to move half across the planet.

If we all had that mentality, Earth would be such a better place. So my view of life is this:

 

Life is all about learning new experience and try to do as much as possible to break our current mundane style of life.

Travel the globe, diving in the sea, walking across mountains and just soak up as much positive energy as you can muster.

Being stuck on the same job, doing the same things over and over again, is no real happiness at all.

 

So, are you really willing to move because you want too, in your heart? Or just do it, because you feel bad for the other person?

It's nothing wrong in doing things for others, just because you feel bad for them. But with great decisions comes great alterations.

Especially in this case. It's very important you now that. Because you will change your life, but also theirs.

For good and/or worse. Maybe I am exaggerating things, but I honestly think, doing things because "it's the right thing to do" or "expected" is wrong.

 

You seem to already have made up your mind thou, and I wish you all the best. If more people were like you, ready to drop everything, sacrifice their safety (meaning, their current life) planet earth would be a much nicer place to walk around on. Who knows, you might find a partner for life. or maybe not. Love is something you sometimes need Lady Luck for. :P

 

Now, about the topic. As male, I would like to say, "what do you think, he is a guy, of course he is hitting on you"

But many times this is not the case. But what you have described, it sure does sounds like it.

But he may also be lonely. All he do is to look after this ill man.

 

The best thing to do, is simply to ask. Now this is something that for some people is difficult to do. But without questions, we don't get any answers.

And, if you ask and get an answer, you can simply go from there. It's better than just wait and see what happens.

You speak my language H34D5h07....and 'yes' it is a whole 'nother topic, though related. E has questioned me why am I willing to do this, I told him, "Imagine a world in which every person was willing to help another...even to a small degree...what kind of world would that be?" It would be a very different place to what we have now....it is very easy to sit back in our lounge chairs and sympathize with those in pain we see on our T.V's, but is altogether another thing to stand up and act. No one can make for a better world, end un-necessary suffering, etc...all on their own, but every pebble in the pond can make a small difference and that small difference is worth it and leads to the possibility that more people will start throwing their pebbles in the pond too. Both T and E have asked me what they can give me in return, I told them I don't know, there is nothing I am after...but they were both unhappy with my reply, they both want to give something back..and so I made ripples with my pebble... :P ...I told them what they can give back to me is they can to give Groceries and Blankets to those on their Rez who need it most, that would do a lot more for me than any gifts they can shower on me...T and E agreed to it and complying...feels much better than any gifts... ^_^

 

I think it's the way we see things...our perceptions...I had a friend who was running a Drug/Alcohol Program for Indian Prisoners in one of the Prisons in America...he loved what he was doing but started to give up, he felt he was getting no where as he saw these same Prisoners drinking and drugging within hours after his sessions...he told me about it and what he was feeling...I knew he loved what he was doing and so told him, "If just one person among those hundreds hear him, just the one...and then that one is released and goes home no longer abusing substances, how will that effect this 'ones' family and those around him? He stops beating on his Missus and kids and starts being a husband and a father instead...what impact does that have on his kids when they grow up? Is the possible 'one' person and those he can effect worth continuing the program?" My friend felt 'yes' and kept the program running. The one is worth it and can ripple out and effect those around that one soul.

 

As for the mundane...same jobs, no exploring, etc...there is a great deal I can say on that... :D ...I do hear you...but 'yes' that is WAY off topic... ^_^

 

Yes, I REALLY want to do this, I want to with all my heart do the best I can possibly do to help my friends...Though I can only really hope that any positive changes to our lives, mine and theirs, far out weigh any negatives...I guess that can not really be known until I am there.

 

Asking him straight out, that I choke on.... :blink: ....ti's very hard for me to do, I'm a coward.... :( ...will do if I must, but am hoping encouragement for him to spit it out works before having to resort to facing my cowardice... :P ...I am afraid of making a fool of myself in asking him. I will if he doesn't spit it out soon though....You are right 'ask no questions, get no answers'.

 

It could well just be the loneliness, he has made it clear he is lonely.

 

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The weather....I despise the heat, am not a very good Aussie... :( ....summer hits and I melt into a little puddle of Bourbon... :(

 

You wouldn't like living here then! It can be subzero in the Winter and over 100* (fahrenheit) in the Summer. Spring and Autumn are nice, though!

 

I guess that would be about 35* in the Summer and -20* in the Winter (celcius).

 

 

We get to about 115-118 here during a Heat Wave which can last for up to and over a week...though I think once it's stinking hot, how stinking hot it is becomes negligible...there is a point of just too bloody hot and extra heat doesn't matter anymore. 100 F is about 37 C....not quite 40 C and up, but is starting to approach 'too bloody hot'... :( ...not quite, but damned close... :(

 

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Before I say anything regarding the topic, I want to explain my view of life.

Now bare in mind, I am not old enough to really give experienced answer to life itself and everything it has to offer.

 

However, I strongly believe that our current system and our ways of life is wrong. I wont go deeper into it here, because it's not the right place.

But if you really feel like this is something you want to do, you really should do it. Not because you feel bad for anyone.

At the same time, I wish more people were like you. I mean, you are willing to move half across the planet.

If we all had that mentality, Earth would be such a better place. So my view of life is this:

 

Life is all about learning new experience and try to do as much as possible to break our current mundane style of life.

Travel the globe, diving in the sea, walking across mountains and just soak up as much positive energy as you can muster.

Being stuck on the same job, doing the same things over and over again, is no real happiness at all.

 

So, are you really willing to move because you want too, in your heart? Or just do it, because you feel bad for the other person?

It's nothing wrong in doing things for others, just because you feel bad for them. But with great decisions comes great alterations.

Especially in this case. It's very important you now that. Because you will change your life, but also theirs.

For good and/or worse. Maybe I am exaggerating things, but I honestly think, doing things because "it's the right thing to do" or "expected" is wrong.

 

You seem to already have made up your mind thou, and I wish you all the best. If more people were like you, ready to drop everything, sacrifice their safety (meaning, their current life) planet earth would be a much nicer place to walk around on. Who knows, you might find a partner for life. or maybe not. Love is something you sometimes need Lady Luck for. :P

 

Now, about the topic. As male, I would like to say, "what do you think, he is a guy, of course he is hitting on you"

But many times this is not the case. But what you have described, it sure does sounds like it.

But he may also be lonely. All he do is to look after this ill man.

 

The best thing to do, is simply to ask. Now this is something that for some people is difficult to do. But without questions, we don't get any answers.

And, if you ask and get an answer, you can simply go from there. It's better than just wait and see what happens.

You speak my language H34D5h07....and 'yes' it is a whole 'nother topic, though related. E has questioned me why am I willing to do this, I told him, "Imagine a world in which every person was willing to help another...even to a small degree...what kind of world would that be?" It would be a very different place to what we have now....it is very easy to sit back in our lounge chairs and sympathize with those in pain we see on our T.V's, but is altogether another thing to stand up and act. No one can make for a better world, end un-necessary suffering, etc...all on their own, but every pebble in the pond can make a small difference and that small difference is worth it and leads to the possibility that more people will start throwing their pebbles in the pond too. Both T and E have asked me what they can give me in return, I told them I don't know, there is nothing I am after...but they were both unhappy with my reply, they both want to give something back..and so I made ripples with my pebble... :P ...I told them what they can give back to me is they can to give Groceries and Blankets to those on their Rez who need it most, that would do a lot more for me than any gifts they can shower on me...T and E agreed to it and complying...feels much better than any gifts... ^_^

 

I think it's the way we see things...our perceptions...I had a friend who was running a Drug/Alcohol Program for Indian Prisoners in one of the Prisons in America...he loved what he was doing but started to give up, he felt he was getting no where as he saw these same Prisoners drinking and drugging within hours after his sessions...he told me about it and what he was feeling...I knew he loved what he was doing and so told him, "If just one person among those hundreds hear him, just the one...and then that one is released and goes home no longer abusing substances, how will that effect this 'ones' family and those around him? He stops beating on his Missus and kids and starts being a husband and a father instead...what impact does that have on his kids when they grow up? Is the possible 'one' person and those he can effect worth continuing the program?" My friend felt 'yes' and kept the program running. The one is worth it and can ripple out and effect those around that one soul.

 

As for the mundane...same jobs, no exploring, etc...there is a great deal I can say on that... :D ...I do hear you...but 'yes' that is WAY off topic... ^_^

 

Yes, I REALLY want to do this, I want to with all my heart do the best I can possibly do to help my friends...Though I can only really hope that any positive changes to our lives, mine and theirs, far out weigh any negatives...I guess that can not really be known until I am there.

 

Asking him straight out, that I choke on.... :blink: ....ti's very hard for me to do, I'm a coward.... :( ...will do if I must, but am hoping encouragement for him to spit it out works before having to resort to facing my cowardice... :P ...I am afraid of making a fool of myself in asking him. I will if he doesn't spit it out soon though....You are right 'ask no questions, get no answers'.

 

It could well just be the loneliness, he has made it clear he is lonely.

 

 

 

Ohh, I could go on all day, talk about all the corrupted system, life itself, and all harm we are doing to both nature, animals and humans.

Probably to the brink so people would place me in a barrel, fill it with concrete and then toss it in a the lake just to shut me up.

:mellow::huh::o:blink::unsure::wacko::lol::D  < - - would be my reactions!

 

Anyway, It is a tough nut to crack indeed. You just don't spit it right out. But I am confident you will pull it off. 

And it's better to ask him prior to the journey, so you have more knowledge in the bag and can work with what you have.

Instead arriving and shortly after, things gets awkward (if you both are not on the same level that is).

 

Not really close to the topic here, but I once had really strong feelings for a lady. And I were 100% sure she felt the same way about me.

I asked her, and to my surprise, she did not. I felt like an complete idiot, but at the same I was glad.

Not for being an idiot, that I already knew :D But now I had an answer, and could start process my feelings.

 

So what I am trying to say is, I asked and got an answer. Things worked out. We are still very close friends today. And we still sometimes joke about that day. This was over 15 years ago. :P

 

I wish I had the courage to do something similar to you. Or it's not the lack of it, but circumstances. I have many times had the thought just to pack a bag, leave everything behind and just explore the world. Study certain cultures, and meet new interesting people. But I don't have any money, so that would force me to use the "slip in" tactic on buses and trains. And food, is something that I would be forced to steal, and with the current system in our society, would make me a criminal. I would have to sleep under the sky, because apparently sleeping under a roof, cost money.

 

I said earlier that I would not get deeper into the current system we currently are using, But I am gonna for just this time, once, break that promise.

There is a completely new developed system that has eliminated the use of money and this so called "forced to work". Where every human would be free to pretty do whatever she wants. And with that I mean, relax, travel, do things she always wanted to do and just enjoy life. Experience life as it should be. Now that would be something. Imagine a life like that. No greed, no jealousy, no wars, because material things would mean nothing anymore. Sadly, this will never happen. To many strong forces are against this kind of freedom. They rather see us as indoctrinated obedient slaves.

 

So enjoy life and cherish every moment of happiness you can get from this life.


 

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@ H34d5h07...so much of my response so off topic, I thought I had better spoiler the lot of it... ^_^

 

 

 

Me too... :D  ...sadly at times I do get caught up in my little tirades...drag out my soap box and shout out about the very same things you mention...it usually concludes with me creeping off my soap box and dragging it away while trying desperately to drop off the face of the earth, as spectators to my tirade start pulling out the white coats... :P ....Interestingly enough I wrote up some related Essays in my short sojourn into University life and was asked for permission for use of some of my work by the University, I was chuffed... ^_^ ...but does go to show there are those among the upper intellectual echelons who don't see it as madness and actually consider such thoughts and ideas worthy of attention and examination....makes me feel optimistic, if the Universities want to hear it, there is hope...though granted, the Uni I attended is known for it's more unusual ideas... :P ...Just in case it interests you, you may find this book very interesting...'Straw Dogs' by John Gray, smashes human ego and pulls no punches....brilliant book... ^_^

 

As for asking E what he's thinking/feeling, yep, I most certainly do need to have it out in the open and answered before I go there, that's absolutely essential....my attempted encouragement has been giving him an ego polish, told him how I perceive him in the hopes that it would give him the courage to cough it up...but response could be some time off at the moment, his best friend died a few days before Xmas and so his feeling pretty destroyed at this time...turns out his a hibernator when hurting (it frustrated me for a while until a friend groaned at both he and I and pointed out that's exactly what I do when I'm hurting... :blush: ...)...he currently just sends me the odd text letting me know his still breathing, just busy quietly healing...and so it's a waiting game right now, the timing would suck and be heartless, he doesn't need that.

 

Is harsh when we mis-read someone huh... :( ...embarrassing moments... :(

 

I used to gypsy it around before I had kids....couldn't nail my feet to the floor, always wandering...I suspect it maybe easier to do so in Australia than it would be in America (I am assuming that's where you are?...) (I am also terrified of Bears, don't know why, have never met one, so feel much safer camping in Aust. than I would in America/Canada, I believe I wouldn't sleep a wink... :P ...) from what I understand there is more Breadline support here than there is in America...though I relied more so on sell-able crafts I can make with little initial outlay and small cash-in-hand jobs like helping people pack their homes for a move, there are also such jobs as window cleaning, cleaning gutters, picking grapes, etc...It's subsistence living, but kept me fed and moving...though there were some rough moments... :blink: ...but I loved it.

 

As for international travel...my work time in England, my mum bought me the ticket there...she was already there, I just paid her back once I had made the money as a Live-In-Carer, that's what my mum was doing and why she wanted me to do a run in England. In regards to Canada, I am not sure if it's providence or luck (I would lay my bets its providence), but the Australian Government owes me a pretty penny right now... :D ...in the thousands... :D ...just about finalizing paper work to finish the processing...is two years worth of a form of family Tax back, they stuffed up and are busy correcting it now... ^_^ ...there's my Canada money and the Government has been kind enough to keep it safe for me.... :P .... :D ...lol

 

Your thoughts on lifestyle...to be honest I think the most prominent force against what you propose would be human nature in itself, putting aside societal laws and controls and consumerism for the moment and just dealing with the basic animal nature alone, the instinctual element... the instinctual nature prioritizes self preservation despite cost to another...is a rather greedy little sucker in fact, but an important one and what drives us to survive and provides us the base tools to do so. I think no matter how utopian we could possibly create a society there will always be this element that will throw mud in the water as it where. Though on the flip side we are also born with the innate ability as humans to reason well beyond our primal instincts and exert control over the more "assertive" elements of that nature...as has been proven possible in some circumstances.

 

I have just ended up in a big debate about it with a friend, he believes the only way to achieve your proposal would be access to unlimited energy and replicators (driven by the energy source)...Replicators being a tool that can produce what ever material substance the heart desires, you want food, it replicates not only the food you ask for, but also the plate it's served upon, you want a TV, it will replicate that too, etc...essentially leaving you with no wants, all provided for....he is also a Sci-Fi fan and sees no difference between synthetic and natural products, such as say a Broccoli. Me, I shudder at the idea of such a robotic and synthetic world, but then again I'm a luddite... :P ...though he does have the only answer so far to achieve the world you speak of, because people will always want more than they need.

 

Though, I do also know, though utopia has never existed, there have been a number of Tribal nations that have come a damn sight closer than the Western World ever has....one example being the encouraged mind set of giving rather than receiving, have you heard of the Potlatch? Also that infamous Council question when making major decisions "How will this effect 7 generations from now?"...personally I think we need to let go of western idealized arrogance and begin paying more attention to what those living closer to the land have to say.

 

Interesting article concerning the Potlatch and western vs indigenous perceptions...:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potlatch_Ban

 

There is also some very interesting literature out there examining the combining and unified force behind Government, Medical Association and the Food Federation and the damning results these affiliations lead to in regards to your mention of 'indoctrinated obedient slaves'

 

I will shut up now... :P

 

 

 

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I'll play the villain here and say don't go. My logic behind this is E took on T and what was his reasoning? Did he just do this out of the kindness of his heart? It seems to me you're looking for a way out and you're taking the first one. Just remember that it's easy to leave, but hard to come back. You could be walking into a huge mistake and the risks aren't worth it to play snow bunny and build snowmen because you don't like the heat. How much of your heart is in this? Are you wanting a relationship with one of them? If you're going there and being the bank, it's not worth it at all. No way to live your life dishing out your hard earned money. I was in your shoes before and I left once and it was horrible. I was going to move to Australia actually the second time until my friend sat me down and asked "Is a few years of happiness worth it?" In my opinion he was right and being happy for a year or two isn't worth suffering for years after. You don't know a person until you live with them is what I live by... doesn't matter how long you know a person until you live with them and by then it might be to late.

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Guest Ragna_Rok

 

Actually going there and helping them works for me, I get what I want out of it too, I get to do what I love doing and do best...I developed the required skills for this kind of work over the last two decades because it's what I want to do, what makes me miserable is not being able to do what I love and I have not been able to do what I love for many years now. I am not as altruistic as it appears, I am not sure I could do it if it's something I would despise, considering how long term it may be also...then again I don't know, my sick friends Doctor told him to write up his Estate, the inference in it is ground shaking and knowing I can help maybe I would have gone there anyway, I don't know, I can't answer that....And well, plus the humor and topics of conversation interest work for me too, I don't think I could have handled it well if they didn't share my kind of humor, I think humor is going to be essential to sanity for me in the world they live in.

 

I could say something here about passing up new and potentially wonderful opportunities and life experiences when we continue to hold onto the anger over bad experiences...but I won't.... :P

 

Will be checking out your Mods now.... :)

 

Yes, hearts are a funny thing and a huge pain in the ass at times...always gotta stop and really think about where it's coming from before deciding what to do...like you I learned that one the hard way also.

 

Yeah, I have become convinced now that he is in fact hitting on me, thanks to all the help I have had here...now I just have to sit and think and work out what to do about about it and how to handle it...I like him, but too much riding on the whole situation to run away with the fairies on it....Yes, he is lonely, he has stated that to me a number of times and I take it as said.

 

 

sounds like you will do fine with whatever your final decision might be ... just watch out for your butt (well, literally and in general ;) ), because wolfie's post above mine also has a point.

 

actually i just wanted to like your post, but since i gave a couple to the awesome moderators here (i sometimes do that) i ran out of them, reached daily limit already... feel "liked" ... *gives cookie* :)

 

 

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I'll play the villain here and say don't go. My logic behind this is E took on T and what was his reasoning? Did he just do this out of the kindness of his heart? It seems to me you're looking for a way out and you're taking the first one. Just remember that it's easy to leave, but hard to come back. You could be walking into a huge mistake and the risks aren't worth it to play snow bunny and build snowmen because you don't like the heat. How much of your heart is in this? Are you wanting a relationship with one of them? If you're going there and being the bank, it's not worth it at all. No way to live your life dishing out your hard earned money. I was in your shoes before and I left once and it was horrible. I was going to move to Australia actually the second time until my friend sat me down and asked "Is a few years of happiness worth it?" In my opinion he was right and being happy for a year or two isn't worth suffering for years after. You don't know a person until you live with them is what I live by... doesn't matter how long you know a person until you live with them and by then it might be to late.

 

E took on T because T is his brother, plus there's the Social Work with the troubled Teen boys and advocating them in Court....scarey thing is he reminds me of my mum tremendously in both personal approach and activities (she is currently looking after her mum and has Social Worked with troubled Teens most of her employed life) and so I guess it's a view and way of life I can easily relate to, was bought up with it. Some people simply feel the need to help others, a trait I share with them also.

 

I admit I am very unhappy in my world, have been for a very long time for reasons I won't expand upon... I have had a few offers for outs given to me over the years, some rather tempting and offering to allow me to put my skills to use...most funnily enough involving Canada through various different sources...but I turned them all down as I wanted to raise my girls first (not disrupt their lives or put them in unknown situations)...But my girls are now raised and doing very well and very well supported from many sectors in their lives and so thus I am now free to finally do what I have been patiently waiting years to do, put my skills to good use for someone who can really benefit from them and wants them....is exactly what I have been waiting for and worth possible risks, i want to live to the fullest and follow what drives me....I want to help these people and my heart is all the way in it.

 

I hadn't really thought about relationships, my focus was on helping, not on hormones...I hadn't thought beyond that until E started with his comments and I have to admit I have become intrigued and his caught my attention....rather liked him from the moment we first spoke...his attitude and approach... but as T's bro, didn't think more on it until his comments began.

 

As for Bank, they know I am on limited funds...am taking a lump sum with me and their well aware that's not replenish-able...we have been putting plans into action to make money between us already, pooling ideas, opportunities, etc....with two of us watching over T, it free's up a lot of time for E and things can be achieved...I have known T for 16 years and he has never asked for a cent from me, I can not say the same for many other people I have met and known locally or Internationally....I guess is maybe one of the reasons why he and I have managed to retain an international friendship for so long, has never made me feel used or taken for granted (everyone else has come and gone, in fact his is the longest friendship I have shared with someone).

 

I do understand where your coming from, but I am going...would hate myself for abandoning my friends in time of need...and need my world to drastically change for me also....I do sincerely thank you for your concern though Wolfoftheshadows...thank you, I do appreciate it.

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Actually going there and helping them works for me, I get what I want out of it too, I get to do what I love doing and do best...I developed the required skills for this kind of work over the last two decades because it's what I want to do, what makes me miserable is not being able to do what I love and I have not been able to do what I love for many years now. I am not as altruistic as it appears, I am not sure I could do it if it's something I would despise, considering how long term it may be also...then again I don't know, my sick friends Doctor told him to write up his Estate, the inference in it is ground shaking and knowing I can help maybe I would have gone there anyway, I don't know, I can't answer that....And well, plus the humor and topics of conversation interest work for me too, I don't think I could have handled it well if they didn't share my kind of humor, I think humor is going to be essential to sanity for me in the world they live in.

 

I could say something here about passing up new and potentially wonderful opportunities and life experiences when we continue to hold onto the anger over bad experiences...but I won't.... :P

 

Will be checking out your Mods now.... :)

 

Yes, hearts are a funny thing and a huge pain in the ass at times...always gotta stop and really think about where it's coming from before deciding what to do...like you I learned that one the hard way also.

 

Yeah, I have become convinced now that he is in fact hitting on me, thanks to all the help I have had here...now I just have to sit and think and work out what to do about about it and how to handle it...I like him, but too much riding on the whole situation to run away with the fairies on it....Yes, he is lonely, he has stated that to me a number of times and I take it as said.

 

 

 

sounds like you will do fine with whatever your final decision might be ... just watch out for your butt (well, literally and in general ;) ), because wolfie's post above mine also has a point.

 

actually i just wanted to like your post, but since i gave a couple to the awesome moderators here (i sometimes do that) i ran out of them, reached daily limit already... feel "liked" ... *gives cookie* :)

 

 

 

Thank you... ^_^ ...Baking Cookies for you... ^_^

 

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"I am also terrified of Bears, don't know why, have never met one, so feel much safer camping in Aust. than I would in America/Canada, I believe I wouldn't sleep a wink... :P ..."

 

Do your research on flora and fauna.  There are various geographic areas where bears are present and others where they're unheard of, but other wildlife is around.  Two main types of bears in US, anyway.  Black, and Grizzly (brown).  As with most animals, generally speaking, if you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone.  (Ever heard the expression "If thee let the bee be, the bee will let thee be"?)  Doesn't count a mother with cubs, or getting between the bear and its food (usually berries etc.).  The main trick is to know what's where in relation to where you are (no bears in my neck of the woods, for example), and how best to deal with the animals in your area.  Example:  Most people think of the white tail deer as no big deal.  Wrong!  They are a big deal, emphasis on "big".  Okay, they aren't bears, but I had a neighbor whose car was totaled when a buck landed on it during mating season (he survived with minor injuries thanks to seat belt and airbags, no so the buck).  I drive by them routinely on my way to and from work, and while they aren't huge, they're nothing to ignore, either.  For the record, I'd love to go to Australia some day but have heard many not so nice stories of the wildlife there, so am not so keen on that idea.  Again, simply a matter of reducing ignorance of what it is you're dealing with.

 

Reality, I'm much more afraid of the deer tick than bears.  Even if I were to go to their area.  It's the small stuff you have trouble avoiding that scares me.  Spiders et al.  Even snakes can be minimized by knowing how to deal with them (stepping on logs, not over them, making a bunch of noise, etc), but spiders and ticks,.. they're everywhere, and some carry diseases and venom that are not to be trifled with.  (Deer ticks carry Lyme disease.)   http://www.symptomfind.com/health/lyme-disease-from-a-tick-bite/

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"I am also terrified of Bears, don't know why, have never met one, so feel much safer camping in Aust. than I would in America/Canada, I believe I wouldn't sleep a wink... :P ..."

 

Do your research on flora and fauna.  There are various geographic areas where bears are present and others where they're unheard of, but other wildlife is around.  Two main types of bears in US, anyway.  Black, and Grizzly (brown).  As with most animals, generally speaking, if you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone.  (Ever heard the expression "If thee let the bee be, the bee will let thee be"?)  Doesn't count a mother with cubs, or getting between the bear and its food (usually berries etc.).  The main trick is to know what's where in relation to where you are (no bears in my neck of the woods, for example), and how best to deal with the animals in your area.  Example:  Most people think of the white tail deer as no big deal.  Wrong!  They are a big deal, emphasis on "big".  Okay, they aren't bears, but I had a neighbor whose car was totaled when a buck landed on it during mating season (he survived with minor injuries thanks to seat belt and airbags, no so the buck).  I drive by them routinely on my way to and from work, and while they aren't huge, they're nothing to ignore, either.  For the record, I'd love to go to Australia some day but have heard many not so nice stories of the wildlife there, so am not so keen on that idea.  Again, simply a matter of reducing ignorance of what it is you're dealing with.

 

Reality, I'm much more afraid of the deer tick than bears.  Even if I were to go to their area.  It's the small stuff you have trouble avoiding that scares me.  Spiders et al.  Even snakes can be minimized by knowing how to deal with them (stepping on logs, not over them, making a bunch of noise, etc), but spiders and ticks,.. they're everywhere, and some carry diseases and venom that are not to be trifled with.  (Deer ticks carry Lyme disease.)   http://www.symptomfind.com/health/lyme-disease-from-a-tick-bite/

 

 

 

Oddly enough I have some knowledge on Bears...I did know they are a danger fairly easily avoided, not generally overly aggressive, generally not really a danger unless like any other wild animal 'startled', etc....though highly aggressive when cubs are present. Package food in well sealed containers when camping (also have heard the tips of put food up a Tree, never have food in the Tent with you). The one that gives me the chills is best way to survive Bear attack is play dead, don't try to run....Bears are omnivores, primary diet is plant material not flesh and people are not on their menu. Here's one you may or may not have known, Bears have a very similar physiology to us, what works for them generally works for us in regards to medicinal needs, etc...as such much of what was learned about Plant Medicine by the Native Americans/Canadians, was learned from observing Bears, thus many consider the Bear the Healer. I actually quite like Bears... ^_^ ...but for some reason they just continue to scare the shit out of me....the Grizzly scares me, not so much the Black Bear.

 

Probably not a good time to ask me if I know that expression in relation to Bears... :P ...was just very recently stung by two Bees within the same week and am allergic to them... :( ...last Bee sting I had before that my 20 year was an infant.

 

I saw some documentary some time back on a problem an American Town has with Elk (I think was Elk) during their breeding season, they converge on this Town for their mating meet ups and all hell breaks loose, very dangerous for the local residents....male Elk getting highly aggressive and attacking people. Kangaroos are much the same when it comes to behavior, people underestimate them, but their dangerous as hell...on the end of those long legs are long sharp nails, they can gut with these and are not adverse to attacking Humans. I give wild Roo's a wide berth, used to do a lot of Horse back riding through forests, met a lot of Roo Mobs, always rode wide....they would all stop what their doing and just stare at you...kinda creepy... :P ... Their a big danger on the roads also, much like your Deer I would suspect, their unpredictable...the expression here is, "It's not the Roo you can see you worry about when driving, it's the ones you can't see", Roo's travel in Mobs....But on foot, the rules are simple, just don't try to buddy up to a wild Roo... :P ...give them a wide berth....deliberate attacks though not unheard of are exceedingly rare.

 

Kangaroo Boxing....starts at 1:30

 

 

There used to be an expression with our Crocodile's too, "they prefer American"... :P ....was a good reason though, there were a spate of attacks in the 80's, American's appeared to be the "flavor" of the day... :blink: ....the why was simple though, American's used to Alligators not taking extreme Croc warnings seriously...Salt Water Croc's are a hell of a lot more aggressive and we ARE on their Menu, they will actively hunt humans...The Aboriginals...and Dingoes believe it or not....have their way of crossing Croc infested waters...a small group will break off and go further down the river and set up a hell of a ruckus at the waters edge attracting the resident Old Man Croc (the very dangerous ones), thus giving the main group the chance to quickly cross the River in relative safety....Though I guess the distraction group would want to be near high ground or Trees, a Croc can out run a Horse over a short distance on land.... :blink: ...But all our Crocs are right up the far north of Aust....none south.

 

What most internationals hear about is our Spiders and Snakes though...as you said Snakes are easy enough to avoid, just let them know your coming, et al...As for Spiders, just don't stick your fingers in holes or where you can't see your hands surroundings.....our Spiders aren't the big hoohaa their made out to be though...Red Backs won't kill you, they just hurt a hell of a lot, etc...The Spider that gives us the bad rep is the 'Funnel Web' and their only found in Victoria/New South Wales...they are highly poisonous, but above rules apply and all fine.

 

Yep, we have Tick's too...Kangaroo Tick's, etc...can make you sick and gotta check for them, same rules apply as America...though we don't have anything like Lyme Disease....Speaking of which, we don't have Rabies either, is why Australia's Quarantine Laws are so tight and strident, we don't want Rabies here....or Foot and Mouth.

 

And finally of course there's the Drop Bears...BYO Forks and Urine, we provide the Vegemite... :D ...:

 

http://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2013/03/drop-bears-target-tourists,-study-says/

 

 

 

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Drop bears..?  Wiki...

 

Wild haggis :lol: (Me Scottish heritage gets that joke.)

 

Must be nice living in a country where the leadership actually cares what/who enters the country.  Of course, having your own private continent helps, too.

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Drop bears..?  Wiki...

 

Wild haggis :lol: (Me Scottish heritage gets that joke.)

 

Must be nice living in a country where the leadership actually cares what/who enters the country.  Of course, having your own private continent helps, too.

You weren't meant to Wiki it...that's cheating... :P ...Have just been trying to find an article I read that debunks Wiki's false claim about Drop Bears, was a very official looking article too... :D ...can't find it.... :( ...You have any idea how hard we Aussie's work on our Tourists with our Drop Bears, having them glance nervously up every Tree... :D....Am keeping quiet about the Drop Bears with my Canada friends though, in case E does end up coming back here with me, let some old Codger have his fun and scare the crap out of E first.... :P ...I have questionable sense of humor... :(

 

Yep, private land does help... ^_^ ...apparently most countries will accept Australian items, organics, flora, fauna, etc...freely...because we are nasty Diseases free...but bringing such items into Australia can be very difficult and is a long process.

 

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I like bears. They're rather tasty. :o

 

While I actually HAVE eaten bear before, and it's not altogether bad, I don't make a habit of it and don't hunt them myself. But I do get them in my yard and on my porch on a regular basis. The little ones are adorable and entertaining. The big ones can even make a manly man like myself a bit nervouse. :D

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@ H34d5h07...so much of my response so off topic, I thought I had better spoiler the lot of it... ^_^

 

 

 

Haha, I thought I crossed the line with going off topic. I have much to learn it seems :lol:

I will look into the article. Sure looks intreresting.

 

Replicators, I know of em. Seem them in Stargate: Alantis :lol:

But he does have a point. Me, and a Broccoli, are made up by the same thing. Atoms.

And if you think about it, everything that we know (and still don't know), comes exactly from ONE place in the beginning.

Or at least the beginning we know.

 

Gosh, the Universe is such an marvelous place. Totally mindblowing.

 

Anyway, we surely are way OT now ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To be honest, if you have a male friend then chances are he's thought about fucking you at least once.

 

Can't really say if he's making a pass at you since it's coming from you who suspects he is and therefore the entire thing is presented in a biased way that presents it the way you perceive it and thereby resulting in the majority of feedback you'll receive only confirming your suspicions. In truth, we can't really make that kind of call with the information presented, I think.

 

I'm more concerned about the entire arrangement to begin with, but that's not my place.

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I like bears. They're rather tasty. :o

 

While I actually HAVE eaten bear before, and it's not altogether bad, I don't make a habit of it and don't hunt them myself. But I do get them in my yard and on my porch on a regular basis. The little ones are adorable and entertaining. The big ones can even make a manly man like myself a bit nervouse. :D

 

Oh hell no... :blink: ...I can't cope with the thought of finding them on my porch or in my yard... :blink: ....would be terrified of one realizing windows are break-able and making a grand entrance.... :blink: 

 

I wouldn't mind trying Bear, etc... Have had Kangaroo, Emu, Emu Egg, etc...

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To be honest, if you have a male friend then chances are he's thought about fucking you at least once.

 

Can't really say if he's making a pass at you since it's coming from you who suspects he is and therefore the entire thing is presented in a biased way that presents it the way you perceive it and thereby resulting in the majority of feedback you'll receive only confirming your suspicions. In truth, we can't really make that kind of call with the information presented, I think.

 

I'm more concerned about the entire arrangement to begin with, but that's not my place.

 

Am still feeling a lot less confused than I did before I posted this thread...all I can say is I gave the facts as straight up as I could when writing the OP, no decorations, no exaggerations, no personal opinion, etc... and just hoped the facts presented as they are....can't do more than that.

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