Picture Book "THE STORY TELLER" Post A Pic Tell a Story in TESV

[sbire]

 

 

Decided to join the fray, i actually really did this, you can all have a look at my incredibly twisted imagination bwahahaha.

 

Jokes aside.

 

 

I came up with something rather unique i might say.

 

Chapter 1 of my Story: Unwilling Servitude.

 

A friendly word of warning though; When i said my imagination is twisted, i didnt lie. Also, if anything noted in the tags offends you, skip this story, seriously just skip it.

 

http://www.loverslab.com/blog/87/entry-328-unwilling-servitude-chapter-1-reanimated/

 

I hope linking to Blogs is okay.

 

 

nice one...

[Bisk]

Nothing new from Shs and Hajtus ?!

[sbire]

follow that show your counterpart thread

[hellonow]

Just realised I've been neglecting this thread again!

 

Here is my previously released tale - hope you enjoy!

 

 

 

Mai and the Bath-house Vampire

 

 

Episode 1

 

 

 

 

Whiterun. Night.



Mai: "We had lots of fun tonight, right Lars! But it's time for you to run along home now. It must be way past your bed-time!"



Lars: "Bed-time?! Ha! I go to bed when I feel like it! Although I am kinda sleepy...so maybe you're right..."



Mai: "Good boy! And....um.....it'd be great if you can keep tonight as our little secret....please!"



Lars: "No problem Mai! But hey - you watch out for that sneaky vampire hunter! I don't trust him..."



Lars: "I think he wants to steal you away from me!"



Celann: "Heh...........Smart kid......"



Mai: "Oh don't worry Lars - I've definately got my eye on him! You run off to bed now."



Lars: "Bye!"
Mai: "Goodnight Lars - sleep tight!"



Mai: "I hope I didn't mess up his head with all that talk of Forsworn and monsters?!"
Celann: "He'll be fine. Y'know, you two make a really cute couple!"



Mai: "Well, mister vampire hunter - now that Lars is gone I believe we have some....unfinished business to attend to!"



Celann: "Oh....um....WOW! Mai, you are so direct! I mean....I've dreamt about this moment for so long......but.....you wanna do it right here?! Right now?!"



Mai: "Um.......well, yeah! I mean...if we don't kill this vampire you mentioned then who will?!"



Celann: "Oh.....right......the vampire! Of course.....silly me! Well according to our sources it's somewhere in the city. We think it will try to either turn or kill the Jarl."



Celann: "Have you noticed anything strange lately, Mai? Anyone acting out of the ordinary?"
Mai: "Sorry Celann - I kinda keep out of other people's business. I'm not sure if I can help...."



Mai: "But I know someone who definitely can! Follow me..."



Ysolda: "BY THE DIVINES!!!!!"



Ysolda: "Mai - your boyfriend is back! Where did you find him?!"



Mai: "Well, first of all, he's not my boyfriend! And secondly, one of the reasons he's here is to kill a vampire hiding in Whiterun."



Mai: "And we need your help Yssy. Have you seen any unusual travellers hanging around lately? Think hard, the Jarl might be in danger."



Ysolda: "Oh my! Hmmmm...lots of travellers moving through the city lately. But none stay for longer than a few days...........unless..........."



Ysolda: "I know who it is! The bath-house recently hired a new attendant. I felt something was wrong from the moment I laid eyes on him. And he only works the nightshift too!"



Mai: "What do you think, Celann?"
Celann: "It's the only lead we have, and time is running out."



Celann: "Vampires have a habit of knowing when they've been discovered. We'll need to act tonight. Ysolda, can you take us to the bath-house now?"



Mai: "What do you say, Yssy? Are you ready to go hunt a vampire?!"



Ysolda: "You bet your bare ass I am!"
To be continued.............

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 2:

 

 

 

 

Ysolda: Well, here we are - Whiterun's famous bath-house!"



Celann: "This place is massive! Any ideas on where we'll find the vampire?"



Ysolda: "Well, providing he actually IS a vampire - the guy I mentioned is usually out on the back decking. So we shouldn't need to go into the main building at all."



Mai: "Good - at least that cuts down on the number of civilian bystanders that might get hurt."



Celann: "Okay then, let's not waste any more time. Stay sharp guys..."



Ysolda: "Hey! Not so fast - aren't you forgetting something?! Celann, strip naked!"



Celann: "Hahaha, very funny...."
Mai: "Oh yeah - she's right! We ARE going into a bath-house after all. Everyone will be naked!"



Ysolda: "Exactly! If we walk around that corner wearing clothes and all geared up with weapons, our vampire will be gone before we know it. Get those clothes off, Celann!"



Celann: "Hang on just a minute. There's gotta be another way..."



Mai: "No excuses Celann. Clothes off! NOW!"
Ysolda: "Come on - let's have a look at little Celann!"



Celann: "I can't believe this. If only Durak could see me now! Fine, I'll take off my clothes...."



Ysolda: "WOW! Mai - stop staring!"
Mai: "I'm not staring, you're staring!"
Celann: "Can we please go hunt vampires now.....?"



Mai: "Yes. Now we can go hunting vampires!"



Mai: "Feels good being naked, right Celann?"



Celann: "When this is all over, please never speak a word of it to anyone!"
Mai: "Ha! Don't pretend you don't like it!"



Mai: "Looks like it's pretty quiet here tonight. Not too many people..."



Ysolda: "Yeah, and look - there's our guy..."



Ysolda: "He's always in the same spot, staying away from people. I've never actually seen him helping anyone..."



Ysolda: "Just silently watching what everyone is doing. I stopped coming here at nighttime because he was creeping me out so much!"



Celann: "Nice work Ysolda. Even from here I can tell he's a vampire. Okay, here's what we are going to do. One of you ladies get over there and lure him back here, away from the civilians. Then we'll drop him.
Ysolda: "Good idea - go seduce him Mai!"
Mai: "Um...exuse me?! Why am I being volunteered?"



Ysolda: "Because we need to seduce him, and your breasts are bigger than mine! Besides - you're a Companion! No fear, right?"



Mai: "Whatever. I'm not sure about the breasts thing - but I AM a Companion. I'll go."
Celann: "Don't worry Mai, I'd never let you come to any harm. Trust me!"



Ysolda: "Good luck Mai! We'll be waiting in the hot-tub!"
Mai: "Yeah, thanks for the wonderful support..."



Mai: "Ahem....Um.....Hi there handsome! I was just wondering if you.....um.....could give me a massage, perhaps? I'm just feeling so tense today..."



Attendant: "I'm sorry, I haven't been trained on how to give massages yet. Maybe you should go find one of the other attendants inside."



Mai: "Hmmm. Well then....how about.....um.....I give your penis a massage! Um.....with my breasts?!"



Attendant: "Look young lady - I can see what you are trying to do. But you're wasting your time. Unfortunately for you I prefer the company of men, so you'll just have to find some other attendant to help you unwind."



Mai: "Oooooooh.....I see. Well, this is awkward. I'm just going to go back where I came from now. Sorry for bothering you...Bye!"


To be Continued....

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 3:

 

 

 

 

Ysolda: "Hey - the fearless warrior returns!"
Celann: "Well? What happened? What did the vampire say?"



Mai: "I couldn't lure him over here. He......uh.....he said he prefers the company of men!"



Ysolda: "Well that's not a problem - we've got a man right here!"
Celann: "Woah there - hang on a second..."



Ysolda: "Time to show us little girls how a true vampire hunter operates. Now get over there and seduce that man!"



Ysolda: "And you might want to wake up 'Little Celann'. I'm sure he'll help you make a good impression..."



Celann: "What are are you talking about? Oh.......I see. Eh, ladies i'm not so sure about this plan anymore..."



Celann: "I mean...there's gotta be a better way of going about this!"
Ysolda: "Don't be such a wimp Celann! Mai, I think he needs 'a hand' with waking up!"



Mai: "At last - a job I actually don't mind being volunteered for!"



Celann: "Okay, I'm going to punch myself later for saying this - but I think we need to focus here! I mean, there is a vampire right over there!"



Mai: "Relax! That vampire isn't going anywhere. Besides, I wanna hear more about how you travelled across Skyrim to see me again. Or was that just empty talk?"



Celann: "No...I swear....I've been dreaming about you day and ni---------- MAI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR HANDS?!"
Mai: "Hmmmmm, there we go. Wakey wakey!"



Ysolda: "Hehe, great work Mai! Now quickly, get him over to that vampire..."



Mai: "Not so fast. Little Celann just woke up - I think he needs a workout!



Mai: "What do you think, boy? Do you wanna exercise with me?!"



Celann: "I guess.....maybe a little exercise......might be good......."



Celann: -GULP- "Mai, your skin is so soft..."



Ysolda: "Um....guys! That vampire is gonna get.......OH WOW!!!"



Mai (moans): "Ooooooooooooh........"



Mai (Screaming): "Uuuuhhh......that feels SO GOOD!!!"



Adrianne: "What in oblivion is happening over there?!"



Celann: "Oh Mai! Your body feels amazing! Please - tell me this isn't a dream...!"
Mai: "Uuuuhhhh.........Uuuuuhhhhh........who cares!"



Mai (Screaming wildly): "OH GODS!!!"
Attendant: "Hmmmm. Looks like that girl found someone to help her relax. Good, that gets her off my back."



Attendant: 'For a minute there I thought she might have been a member of the Dawnguard. She's the first person to approach me since I've been here. Regardless, that little scare has reminded me that I've delayed too long. Time to finish my mission. Time to pay the Jarl a little visit!"



Ysolda: "Hmmm, our vampire seems to be up to something...I don't like it...."



Ysolda: "I knew it - he's leaving! He thinks he's gonna get away, but he doesn't realise that the Dawnguard are right behind him! Right guys.....?"



Ysolda: "Eh.....guys?! Are you even listening to me?"



Celann: "Yeah - take it my little Forsworn warrior!"
Mai: "UUUHHHHHH......Faster! I've been a BAD girl!"



Ysolda: "Well that's just great. I guess this means it's up to ME to save the city! Ysolda the vampire hunter - reporting for duty!"



To be concluded......

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 4:

 

 

 

 

Attendant: "No more games - time for a face to face meeting with the Jarl. I'm sure he'll be delighted to see me!"



Ysolda: "He's heading for the city! Gotta stay on his tail - if I lose him Whiterun might not get a second chance!"



Ysolda: "By now Mai must have noticed that I'm gone. Her and Celann will be right behind me......"



Mai (Screaming loudly): "UUUHH......UUUUHHH.....UUUUHHHHHHHH!!!"



Celann: "Mai.....I can't believe this! You're amazing - I never want to pull out!"



Mai: "Don't.........OOOHHH........even think about stopping!"



Adrianne: "Exactly - why stop?! If anything, you need to give it to her HARDER!"
Mai: "Um...........ADRIANNE?!"



Adrianne: "Hi there, darling! We heard you guys from over there and thought we'd come give you some support! Y'know we REALLY love sex!"



Mai: "Erm.......what do you mean "we"?"



Ulfberth: "Hello there, buddy! Not seen you around here before!"
Celann: "............................"



Ysolda: "Okay, the vampire ran around this corner. Gotta stay on him....."



Ysolda: "That's weird. He should be right here......but there's no trace of him!"



Ysolda: "I have a bad feeling about this.......Celann did say vampires have a way of knowing when they have been discovered...."



Attendant: "Looking for something, little lady? Your clothes, perhaps?!"



Ysolda: "OH MY!!!! Um.....yeah! I'm just looking for my clothes! Erm - you're going to kill me now, right?"
Attendant: "Yes."



Celann: "Mai, what's going on?! Who are these people?"
Mai: "UUUUHHH.....Just ignore them......Keep fucking me.....!"



Ulfberth: "Your not doing too badly there son - making her work up a nice sweat. But I reckon we can push this little princess a lot harder..."



Ulfberth: "If you wanna just step aside and let me fuck her for a few minutes, I'll show you exactly how you wear out a little girl like this. What do you think, Adrianne?"



Adrianna: "Oh great idea, darling! You take her from behind, and I'll keep her occupied from up here. Sounds good, right Mai?"



Celann: "I.....I think I'm gonna cum, Mai!"



Adrianne: "Oh goody! Once he's done filling her up - you take over, darling! Might I suggest concentrating on her ass?"



Ulfberth: "I love you, Adianne!"
Adrianne: "I love you too, hunny!"



Mai: "By the divines - you people are COMPLETELY INSANE!!! No-one is gonna concentrate on my ass! Ysolda, can you please get rid of these lunatics?!"



Mai: "Um....Ysolda?! Oh no - she's gone! And the vampire, too!"



Mai: "Sorry Celann - we gotta go right now!"
Celann: "No....please....wait! I was almost there!!!"



Celann: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Mai: "I should never have brought Ysolda along. Hang on Yssy - I'm coming!"



Ysolda: "Oh no.....what are you going to do to me?!"



Attendant: "Normally....I'd do soooooo much to you. Some, you'd enjoy. Most, you'd hate. But I'm afraid I have no time now. I've got to bring the Jarl round to the vampire's way of thinking. So i'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut this short. And by that I mean cut YOU short!"



Attendant: "Hehe...y'know, I used to be a human like you. But then I took a..............."



FFWWW-THUPPPP
Attendant: "AARGGH - an arrow! Right in my knee!!!"



Mai: "Got him!"
Celann: "Nice shot, babe! In the kneecap too! That's gotta hurt..."



Mai: "Keep calling me 'babe' and you might find out how it feels!"



Mai: "Yssy - are you okay? Did he touch you?!"
Ysolda: "I'm fine. I just......I was sure that was the end!"



Celann: "You know asshole, I was about three seconds away from probably the greatest feeling any man has ever experienced in Tamriel...."



Attendant: "Ackk - the Dawnguard. I knew it!"



Celann: "...Just three seconds. And YOU ruined it. Now you pay for that. Time to die, filth!"


 

Attendant: "AAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHH........................................."
Ysolda: "I've been thinking, Mai. I'm not sure I'm cut out for this vampire hunting business."
Mai: "Really? I dunno.......I kinda like it!"



The END!

 

[Bisk]

Goodie! Don't let this thread die.

[lidowxxx]

Lmao, poor Celann, talk about ruined orgasm

[Hajtus]

@hellonow really loved that story arc those were like weekly shows on tv except better! Even those banners are great . And of course the highlight moment was Celanns http://nooooooooooooooo.com/ moment . IS there gonna be more Mai stories or about your new char? 

 

@raiqem i did post those two "stories" last page and i'm gonna make more, just waiting for ideas/inspiration .

 

 

[hellonow]

@hellonow really loved that story arc those were like weekly shows on tv except better! Even those banners are great . And of course the highlight moment was Celanns http://nooooooooooooooo.com/ moment . IS there gonna be more Mai stories or about your new char? 

 

 

Thank you - I really appreciate that!

 

I'm not sure about new stories...not a lot of time on my hands right now. Maybe soon though, hopefully.

 

Not sure about the characters either! Which would you prefer - more Mai? Or a new character with a different attitude?

 

Cheers for the feedback!

 

PS - love your character too    

[Guest NeonFirefly]

 

@hellonow really loved that story arc those were like weekly shows on tv except better! Even those banners are great . And of course the highlight moment was Celanns http://nooooooooooooooo.com/ moment . IS there gonna be more Mai stories or about your new char? 

 

 

Thank you - I really appreciate that!

 

I'm not sure about new stories...not a lot of time on my hands right now. Maybe soon though, hopefully.

 

Not sure about the characters either! Which would you prefer - more Mai? Or a new character with a different attitude?

 

Cheers for the feedback!

 

PS - love your character too    

 

 

Personally, I would suggest - er, pardon me for butting into this conversation, haha - I would suggest you definitely keep Mai's story going, but first, try giving a new character a shot. Chances are, you'll find more inspiration and creative opportunities from using a new character every so often; at least that's what I've experienced in my own writing. Maybe you could even make a character whose story crosses over with Mai's, maybe as an ally, an enemy, or even a comic foil. The possibilities are endless!

 

It's all totally up to you, though.

 

[Hajtus]

@hellonow Well i as much as i love Mai stories. I Think it would really be interesting to see maybe more evil stories . That being said don't stop doing Mai stories just do what you feel like at the moment. And of course you don't have to rush the stories even the best shows takes breaks . Btw if may ask what ever happened to your elf character?

[hellonow]

 

Personally, I would suggest - er, pardon me for butting into this conversation, haha - I would suggest you definitely keep Mai's story going, but first, try giving a new character a shot. Chances are, you'll find more inspiration and creative opportunities from using a new character every so often; at least that's what I've experienced in my own writing. Maybe you could even make a character whose story crosses over with Mai's, maybe as an ally, an enemy, or even a comic foil. The possibilities are endless!

 

It's all totally up to you, though.

 

I agree 10000%

 

I love Mai, but it might be nice to have a change for a while. I guess you know the feeling with your own new char Lyra!

 

I'd love to have a cross-over with my chars......but I have now idea how to place them into the same game! I assume making one a follower is the first step???

 

 

@hellonow Well i as much as i love Mai stories. I Think it would really be interesting to see maybe more evil stories . That being said don't stop doing Mai stories just do what you feel like at the moment. And of course you don't have to rush the stories even the best shows takes breaks . Btw if may ask what ever happened to your elf character?

 

Hehe, thanks Hajtus!

 

Yeah, I'm kinda liking the idea of an evil twin for Mai - it opens up some interesting avenues! Hopefully I'll get some time to play with my new char over the weekend....my job is kinda all-consuming at the moment   But Mai is level 40-something and my main character, so I won't be giving her up either.

 

My Elf? I liked that character - but I kinda created her on a whim and didn't level her up much, and Mai kinda seemed to be getting a better reception anyway!

[GodKingLaw]

 

Personally, I would suggest - er, pardon me for butting into this conversation, haha - I would suggest you definitely keep Mai's story going, but first, try giving a new character a shot. Chances are, you'll find more inspiration and creative opportunities from using a new character every so often; at least that's what I've experienced in my own writing. Maybe you could even make a character whose story crosses over with Mai's, maybe as an ally, an enemy, or even a comic foil. The possibilities are endless!

 

It's all totally up to you, though.

 

I agree 10000%

 

I love Mai, but it might be nice to have a change for a while. I guess you know the feeling with your own new char Lyra!

 

I'd love to have a cross-over with my chars......but I have now idea how to place them into the same game! I assume making one a follower is the first step???

 

 

@hellonow Well i as much as i love Mai stories. I Think it would really be interesting to see maybe more evil stories . That being said don't stop doing Mai stories just do what you feel like at the moment. And of course you don't have to rush the stories even the best shows takes breaks . Btw if may ask what ever happened to your elf character?

 

Hehe, thanks Hajtus!

 

Yeah, I'm kinda liking the idea of an evil twin for Mai - it opens up some interesting avenues! Hopefully I'll get some time to play with my new char over the weekend....my job is kinda all-consuming at the moment   But Mai is level 40-something and my main character, so I won't be giving her up either.

 

My Elf? I liked that character - but I kinda created her on a whim and didn't level her up much, and Mai kinda seemed to be getting a better reception anyway!

 

hELLONOW,

 

I got this info I while back and copied it word for word to a txt filr here you go. Its a brief tutorial on how to make a PC chacter an Npc im sure there may be better out there but this is what I used to make my PC to an NPC >>>

 

 

 

Go ingame, make your character, done? Open the console with tilde (as it should be usually) and type : savepcface "thenameyouwannagivetoyourfile" or spf "thenameyouwannagivetoyourfile".

 

This will create a file by the name of thenameyouwannagivetoyourfile.NPC in your skyrim folder. The file should be located somewhere in the textures folder if i remind correctly. If so it is and you have the file in your hand take a rbeak and smoke a cigarette...

 

...

 

Back? Good! Now, open the CK, create an NPC, go to facegensomething where you make the faces of the NPCs in the CK, IMPORT FACEGEN FILE or something like that, choose your latest .npc file, TA-DA! MAGIC! Yes yes, love you too!

 

<<< Hope it helps

[quin666]

 

 

 

Got bored long time ago so created quick Castlevania manga. Made this almost year ago on Nexus. 

[Hajtus]

Story time, Serah joining army! Includes bad language, devious devices and outdated references  

 

 

 

Serah: " I guess it would be about time to take care of this whole war thing and since no one seems to be able to do anything without Dragonborn i will have to basically win the war myself."

 

Serah: "YO! Is this the place where i sign for killing stormcloaks!?

RIkke: "Indeed it is"

Serah: "Great, where i sign up?"

 

Rikke: "Not so fast. First you have to prove yourself"

Serah: "Really!? I AM a Dragonborn, i have killed dozens and dozens of Dragons, one with my bare hands even! Thousands of bandits, countless necromancers and even one mudcrab and i still have to prove myself!?"

RIkke: "Yes and you will prove it by killing some bandits"

Serah: "Well, fuck"

 

Serah: "Okay here we are infront of the fort. Now i could summon dragon to wipe them, sneak there, call storm to take care of them. Ooor.....

 

Serah: "Surprise motherfuckers!"

 

Serah: "HATSIUH! Well... everything went better than excepted?

 

 

Rikke: "You are back"

Serah: "Didn't break a sweat. Are you really that surprised i HAVE killed a mudcrab before!"

Rikke: "Yeah, you said that, now you can join Legion. Go talk to General Tullius"

 

Tullius: "Before we start you have to put this on"

Serah: " A chastity belt... really, for what!?"

Tullius: " So that you can fight as long as possible and so that there would be unnecessary fraternization".

Serah: "Look you see this!? This is my wedding ring so you can be sure that there would not be any fraternization even without that stupid belt!"

 

Tuliius: "I'm sorry but everyone is excepted to wear this belt. Rikke here has worn it a long time and haven't complained."

Serah: "Fine i'll wear your stupid belt!"

Tullius: "Don't worry when Skyrim is ours you will get the key to open it. And it was made to be comfortable to wear"

Serah: "It better be!. "

 

Serah: "Hmm i wonder how Isobel will feel about this.

 

Serah: "Honey i'm home! I joined the Legion, but  i have something to tell you!"

 

Isobel: "What is i....."

Serah: "I have to wear this belt until Skyrim is ours"

 

Isobel: "Aw hell no! Who said that!?"

Serah: "Tullius, he said that all fem......"

 

Isobel: "I'm gonna go to speak to Tullius and when i'm through with him he will look much worse than Roggvir!"

Serah: "Honey, wait!"

 

Will Isobel be able to get her hands on Tullius? Is the chastity belt really that comfortable? Will Legion defeat the stormcloaks? Did Serah indeed kill a mudcrab? Find out next time on Dragonba..... Adventures of Serah?

 

 

[tomz31790]

Story time, Serah joining army! Includes bad language, devious devices and outdated references  

 

 

 

Serah: " I guess it would be about time to take care of this whole war thing and since no one seems to be able to do anything without Dragonborn i will have to basically win the war myself."

 

Serah: "YO! Is this the place where i sign for killing stormcloaks!?

RIkke: "Indeed it is"

Serah: "Great, where i sign up?"

 

Rikke: "Not so fast. First you have to prove yourself"

Serah: "Really!? I AM a Dragonborn, i have killed dozens and dozens of Dragons, one with my bare hands even! Thousands of bandits, countless necromancers and even one mudcrab and i still have to prove myself!?"

RIkke: "Yes and you will prove it by killing some bandits"

Serah: "Well, fuck"

 

Serah: "Okay here we are infront of the fort. Now i could summon dragon to wipe them, sneak there, call storm to take care of them. Ooor.....

 

Serah: "Surprise motherfuckers!"

 

Serah: "HATSIUH! Well... everything went better than excepted?

 

 

Rikke: "You are back"

Serah: "Didn't break a sweat. Are you really that surprised i HAVE killed a mudcrab before!"

Rikke: "Yeah, you said that, now you can join Legion. Go talk to General Tullius"

 

Tullius: "Before we start you have to put this on"

Serah: " A chastity belt... really, for what!?"

Tullius: " So that you can fight as long as possible and so that there would be unnecessary fraternization".

Serah: "Look you see this!? This is my wedding ring so you can be sure that there would not be any fraternization even without that stupid belt!"

 

Tuliius: "I'm sorry but everyone is excepted to wear this belt. Rikke here has worn it a long time and haven't complained."

Serah: "Fine i'll wear your stupid belt!"

Tullius: "Don't worry when Skyrim is ours you will get the key to open it. And it was made to be comfortable to wear"

Serah: "It better be!. "

 

Serah: "Hmm i wonder how Isobel will feel about this.

 

Serah: "Honey i'm home! I joined the Legion, but  i have something to tell you!"

 

Isobel: "What is i....."

Serah: "I have to wear this belt until Skyrim is ours"

 

Isobel: "Aw hell no! Who said that!?"

Serah: "Tullius, he said that all fem......"

 

Isobel: "I'm gonna go to speak to Tullius and when i'm through with him he will look much worse than Roggvir!"

Serah: "Honey, wait!"

 

Will Isobel be able to get her hands on Tullius? Is the chastity belt really that comfortable? Will Legion defeat the stormcloaks? Did Serah indeed kill a mudcrab? Find out next time on Dragonba..... Adventures of Serah?

 

 

 

 

Here's a like just for...

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1488840/dexter-surprise-motherfucker-o.gif

[Hajtus]

 

Story time, Serah joining army! Includes bad language, devious devices and outdated references  

 

 

 

Serah: " I guess it would be about time to take care of this whole war thing and since no one seems to be able to do anything without Dragonborn i will have to basically win the war myself."

 

Serah: "YO! Is this the place where i sign for killing stormcloaks!?

RIkke: "Indeed it is"

Serah: "Great, where i sign up?"

 

Rikke: "Not so fast. First you have to prove yourself"

Serah: "Really!? I AM a Dragonborn, i have killed dozens and dozens of Dragons, one with my bare hands even! Thousands of bandits, countless necromancers and even one mudcrab and i still have to prove myself!?"

RIkke: "Yes and you will prove it by killing some bandits"

Serah: "Well, fuck"

 

Serah: "Okay here we are infront of the fort. Now i could summon dragon to wipe them, sneak there, call storm to take care of them. Ooor.....

 

Serah: "Surprise motherfuckers!"

 

Serah: "HATSIUH! Well... everything went better than excepted?

 

 

Rikke: "You are back"

Serah: "Didn't break a sweat. Are you really that surprised i HAVE killed a mudcrab before!"

Rikke: "Yeah, you said that, now you can join Legion. Go talk to General Tullius"

 

Tullius: "Before we start you have to put this on"

Serah: " A chastity belt... really, for what!?"

Tullius: " So that you can fight as long as possible and so that there would be unnecessary fraternization".

Serah: "Look you see this!? This is my wedding ring so you can be sure that there would not be any fraternization even without that stupid belt!"

 

Tuliius: "I'm sorry but everyone is excepted to wear this belt. Rikke here has worn it a long time and haven't complained."

Serah: "Fine i'll wear your stupid belt!"

Tullius: "Don't worry when Skyrim is ours you will get the key to open it. And it was made to be comfortable to wear"

Serah: "It better be!. "

 

Serah: "Hmm i wonder how Isobel will feel about this.

 

Serah: "Honey i'm home! I joined the Legion, but  i have something to tell you!"

 

Isobel: "What is i....."

Serah: "I have to wear this belt until Skyrim is ours"

 

Isobel: "Aw hell no! Who said that!?"

Serah: "Tullius, he said that all fem......"

 

Isobel: "I'm gonna go to speak to Tullius and when i'm through with him he will look much worse than Roggvir!"

Serah: "Honey, wait!"

 

Will Isobel be able to get her hands on Tullius? Is the chastity belt really that comfortable? Will Legion defeat the stormcloaks? Did Serah indeed kill a mudcrab? Find out next time on Dragonba..... Adventures of Serah?

 

 

 

 

Here's a like just for...

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1488840/dexter-surprise-motherfucker-o.gif

 

 

Thanks! Probably my second favorite show ever . Just watching seventh season!

[tomz31790]

 

 

Story time, Serah joining army! Includes bad language, devious devices and outdated references  

 

 

 

Serah: " I guess it would be about time to take care of this whole war thing and since no one seems to be able to do anything without Dragonborn i will have to basically win the war myself."

 

Serah: "YO! Is this the place where i sign for killing stormcloaks!?

RIkke: "Indeed it is"

Serah: "Great, where i sign up?"

 

Rikke: "Not so fast. First you have to prove yourself"

Serah: "Really!? I AM a Dragonborn, i have killed dozens and dozens of Dragons, one with my bare hands even! Thousands of bandits, countless necromancers and even one mudcrab and i still have to prove myself!?"

RIkke: "Yes and you will prove it by killing some bandits"

Serah: "Well, fuck"

 

Serah: "Okay here we are infront of the fort. Now i could summon dragon to wipe them, sneak there, call storm to take care of them. Ooor.....

 

Serah: "Surprise motherfuckers!"

 

Serah: "HATSIUH! Well... everything went better than excepted?

 

 

Rikke: "You are back"

Serah: "Didn't break a sweat. Are you really that surprised i HAVE killed a mudcrab before!"

Rikke: "Yeah, you said that, now you can join Legion. Go talk to General Tullius"

 

Tullius: "Before we start you have to put this on"

Serah: " A chastity belt... really, for what!?"

Tullius: " So that you can fight as long as possible and so that there would be unnecessary fraternization".

Serah: "Look you see this!? This is my wedding ring so you can be sure that there would not be any fraternization even without that stupid belt!"

 

Tuliius: "I'm sorry but everyone is excepted to wear this belt. Rikke here has worn it a long time and haven't complained."

Serah: "Fine i'll wear your stupid belt!"

Tullius: "Don't worry when Skyrim is ours you will get the key to open it. And it was made to be comfortable to wear"

Serah: "It better be!. "

 

Serah: "Hmm i wonder how Isobel will feel about this.

 

Serah: "Honey i'm home! I joined the Legion, but  i have something to tell you!"

 

Isobel: "What is i....."

Serah: "I have to wear this belt until Skyrim is ours"

 

Isobel: "Aw hell no! Who said that!?"

Serah: "Tullius, he said that all fem......"

 

Isobel: "I'm gonna go to speak to Tullius and when i'm through with him he will look much worse than Roggvir!"

Serah: "Honey, wait!"

 

Will Isobel be able to get her hands on Tullius? Is the chastity belt really that comfortable? Will Legion defeat the stormcloaks? Did Serah indeed kill a mudcrab? Find out next time on Dragonba..... Adventures of Serah?

 

 

 

 

Here's a like just for...

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/1488840/dexter-surprise-motherfucker-o.gif

 

 

Thanks! Probably my second favorite show ever . Just watching seventh season!

 

I really need to catch up on some of the seasons. Think I'm a couple behind now, but can't even remember.

[hellonow]

 

 

hELLONOW,

 

I got this info I while back and copied it word for word to a txt filr here you go. Its a brief tutorial on how to make a PC chacter an Npc im sure there may be better out there but this is what I used to make my PC to an NPC >>>

 

 

 

Go ingame, make your character, done? Open the console with tilde (as it should be usually) and type : savepcface "thenameyouwannagivetoyourfile" or spf "thenameyouwannagivetoyourfile".

 

This will create a file by the name of thenameyouwannagivetoyourfile.NPC in your skyrim folder. The file should be located somewhere in the textures folder if i remind correctly. If so it is and you have the file in your hand take a rbeak and smoke a cigarette...

 

...

 

Back? Good! Now, open the CK, create an NPC, go to facegensomething where you make the faces of the NPCs in the CK, IMPORT FACEGEN FILE or something like that, choose your latest .npc file, TA-DA! MAGIC! Yes yes, love you too!

 

<<< Hope it helps

 

 

Thanks for the tip!

 

I'll have to try it out over the weekend as soon as I get two seconds to myself!!!  Though I have to admit i've never used the CK - hope it's simple!

[Irrational]

Thanks for the tip!

 

I'll have to try it out over the weekend as soon as I get two seconds to myself!!!  Though I have to admit i've never used the CK - hope it's simple!

Took me a week of messing with it from time to time to learn it. It's fairly easy once you make your first npc, then you will have a template and knowledge for future npcs. It saved me the trouble of having to rely on other modders npcs for Arcana. The cast looks how I want them too and they are increasing in numbers.

[Irrational]

I must know which god is going to help her. My bet goes to Stendarr. Looking forward to where you take things.

Edit: 100th post on the forums: Milestone.

[Jormungandr]

My vote goes to molag bal.

 

Either that or something not so daedric at all might happen.

 

Interested where this'll go.

[MissyB]

Tamaria's Intervention

 

 

 

Tamaria - "And he's all like, ooo lemme guess someone took your sweetroll, and then i'm like lemme guess someone took your heart, and then FWAM! Yanked his heart right outta his chest, and ate it, true story,"

Shepard - "That's uuuugh...nice....who are you again?"

Tamaria - "Yea and so basically, that's how most of my day was. Killed a few town guards, put a couple baskets over people's heads, and then i fought and killed 5 bandits with one arrow...well 4, the 5th died of a heart attack, not fair to count him.

*Door creeks open, someone enters*

Arngeir - "Tamaria, there you are..we have to have a talk abo-"

Tamaria - "Oh hey Arngy, didn't expect to see you here, lemme introduce you to my friend over here,"

Shepard - "I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite bar on the citadel,"

Arngeir - "Excuse me what? Who? Why? Why do i sense a temporial distortion on this man Tamaria!?! Who is he??"

Tamaria - "Arngy you needa clear out your ears, silly. He's Commander Shepard and this is his favori-"

 

Arngeir - "I understand that part, i mean who is he as in why is he emanating an aura not of this realm!"

 

Tamaria - "Ooooh, that! Well he's from the year 2186, i know right! He's a total caveman from the past, it's the 4th era he must be freaking out. Anyway i used that Elder Scroll i used to kick Alduin's ass and found this guy. He's so funny, apparently where he's from he has these things called cars, they're like horses but instead of riding ontop of them you ride in them, and when they get tired you stick oil in their butt to make them go faster,"

Arngeir - "...w...what?"

 

Tamaria - "That's what i said,"

Shepard - "Please maybe you can help me, i don't know what's going on, but i need to get back to fight the reap-"

Tamaria "Reapers, reapers, reapers! That's all you ever talk about, we're on a date, stop being so dull. I know you cavemen have never seen a Lich before but get over it, they're not that impressive, and they're not Reapers. So clam it, and stop talking about your Mass Erection or whatever, or do you want me to stick another pouch of Fire Salts up your bum, hmm?"

Shepard - "*gulp*...i'll be quite,"

Arngeir - "Gods be damned Tamaria! This is what i'm talking about, you're abusing you're powers and access as Dovahkiin! You've been being a nuissance to all of Skyrim since you came back from Solstheim!"

Tamaria - "Nuissance, whaddya talkin' bout?"

 

Arngeir - "The staff from the Palace Of Kings have been sending complaints about you dancing on the hall table, inebriated and naked!"

Tamaria - "WHOOOOOOOOOOO! THE WIND AGAINST MY CAAAAKES!

Tamaria - "WHOOOOOOOO, GUESS WHAT'S ON THE MENU TONIGGGGHT! SWEET BUNS AND SAAAAAUSAAAGE!!!

Guard 1 - "...should...should we do something about that?"

 

Guard 2 - "Gods no! You see what she did to the last guard that tried something,"

 

Guard 1 - "Summoned a daedric mudcrab...out his arse....i didn't even think summoning could be that...precise,"

 

Guard 2 - "Yep, so you bet i'm staying my ass right here, plus...this is kinda hot,"

 

Guard 1 - "You're a creep,"

 

Guard 2 "And you're still here watchin with me,"

 

Guard 1 - "shuttup,"

Tamaria - "If the gods didn't want me to dance on tables naked, they wouldn't of invented wine,"

 

Arngeir - "Then how about the time you burned down the Bannered Mare in Whiterun, and set everyone inside on fire!"

Tamaria - ".....ok, so i maaaay have messed up with my fireball juggling trick,"

Patron - "YOU DAEDRIC BITCH!! IT WASN'T EVEN THAT FUNNY!!! ARRRRGGGHH MY BODY!!!!!"

Tamaria - "Sheesh..tough crowd,"

Tamaria - "They survived didn't they, a couple of third degree burns, but isn't all that RAWR BATTLE SCARS nonsense what those Nords are into, they should thank me,"

 

Arngeir - "OR HOW ABOUT THE TIME YOU SEXUALLY ASSAULTED AN ELDERLY HOUSEMAID OF THE JARL'S COURT!!!!"

 

Ilfred - "No No No! Don't come dirtying up this carpet i just cleaned with your disgusting elf feet!"

Tamaria - "Oh no you didn't bitch!"

Tamaria - "I'll show you how dirty a elf i am, getcho ass over here!"

 

Ilfred - "What in the!!! What is that!

 

Tamaria - "My break-a-bitch stick! And you're bouta get broken you saggy mound of sag...sagginess!"

Ilfred - "Guards! Help! Someone Help!"

 

Tamaria - "Don't run now bitch! Get your saggy buttcheeks back here!"

Tamaria - "PREPARE YOUR ANUS!"

Tamaria - ".....i regret nothing,"

 

Arngeir - "And I'm not even gonna start about what you subjected those poor orphan children to!"

 

Tamaria - "They died a heroic death,"

 

Arngeir - "YOU USED THEM AS FODDER FOR A CATAPULT AIMED AT NAZEEM'S HOUSE!!!!

 

Tamaria - "Like i said, heroic. The more holes in that asshole's roof the better. Lets see how much he loves living in the cloud district when it starts raining,"

Arngeir - "Gods Damnit! I've had enough of this Tamaria we-"

 

Barkeep - "Uuuuuuugh,braaaaains"

 

Arngeir - "........."

 

Tamaria - "Ok i can explain,"

Tamaria - "Earlier i tried to show the barkeep how good i was at juggling knives...and he found out that I'm not very good at juggling knives. So being the responsible person i am, i reanimated him instead of letting him be termite chow,"

*Arngeir fiercely punches the barkeep in the face, breaking his reanimation*

Tamaria - "Great! Just great Arngy, now you made a huge smelly pile of corpsey stuff..i'm not cleaning that shit up,"

Arngeir - "......we're going back to High Hrothgar.....we're having an intervention, and i'm inviting everyone,"

 

Tamaria - "Don't worry Arngy we'll help you out with whatever problem you got,"

 

Arngeir - "...."

 

Tamaria - ".....aw shit it's for me! Noo! You know what happened last time!!!...this is gonna suck.."

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

[Guest NeonFirefly]

I must know which god is going to help her. My bet goes to Stendarr. Looking forward to where you take things.

Edit: 100th post on the forums: Milestone.

 

 

My vote goes to molag bal.

 

Either that or something not so daedric at all might happen.

 

Interested where this'll go.

 

Well, which are more commonly known for speaking directly to mortals? Divines or Daedra? Easy answer perhaps, but I assure you, you will not be expecting what happens next with Lyra's mysterious new friend. Y'all better prepare yo'selves for some serious plot twists up in here!

 

And congrats on 100 posts, Irrational!

[Irrational]

I should probably wait until tomorrow, just to keep the suspense going, but I couldn't resist! Here is the second part of Lyra's story. The mystery thickens!

 

 

 

“Who’s there?”

Lyra struggled to see her new visitor through the blackness of the cavern.

“I have come to rescue you,” said the darkness. “You see, this is all nothing but a terrible nightmare. A nightmare from which you cannot awaken without my help.”

“Who… are you?”

 

 

“I am Vaermina, the Daedric Prince of nightmares.”

A cold chill crept down Lyra’s spine. Her mind felt clouded, yet her body felt lighter than before.

“You’re really the Lady of Nightmares?”

“Silly girl.”

“Wh… what do you mean?”

“Get up.”

Immediately, Lyra felt her muscles move. Next thing she knew, she was on her feet. Gone was her deathly exhaustion; she suddenly felt like she could fly.

 

 

“We’re going to leave this place,” said the darkness.

“How?”

“There is a man you need to meet. He is an old friend of your treacherous father.”

Lyra instinctively knew who it was, but she still quavered, “who?”

“Madanach. King of the Forsworn. Before you escape, you must visit him.”

“I… I can’t. His cell is behind an iron door, guarded by the biggest, most frightening orc I’ve ever seen.”

“Worry not, child. The orc will prove no hindrance to you.”

Uncertainly, Lyra felt her way along the tunnel wall until she emerged into the spacious entry chamber of the mine, where she was greeted by an unnatural silence. The dying embers of the once-huge bonfire at the center of the chamber provided the only light, and by its faint glow, Lyra caught sight of a motionless body.

 

 

 

Creeping over to him, Lyra recognized the body as that of the Forsworn, Uraccen. Next to him lay the bodies of several other prisoners, and beyond them, two guards.

Trembling, Lyra whispered, “What happened here?”

The darkness gave no reply.

The door to Madanach’s cell was wide open. Next to it lay the body of Borkul the Beast. The orc’s eyes were still wide open in an expression of abject terror at whatever it was that he last saw.

 

 

Lyra felt the heaviness begin to seep back into her limbs as the stench of death filled her nostrils.

“What’s going on… what is happening? Tell me!”

Still, the darkness did not reply. In the back of her mind, Lyra merely heard a soft chuckle from the voice of Vaermina.

 

 

She had come too far to give up again. Terrified of what awaited her, but desperate to escape from the room of death, Lyra stepped through the gate and made her way down the passage to Madanach’s cell. She knew he would have the answers she sought.

She stepped into Madanach’s dimly-lit room, and her heart caught in her throat. Pieces of what had once been the king of the Forsworn lay strewn about the room. Blood soaked the pages of his half-finished letter, and was splattered across the walls and floor.

 

 

 

Lyra’s vision flickered, and she staggered into the wall and threw up. Nothing came up but sour bile, as she hadn’t eaten in days.

She wiped her mouth and looked frantically around the room. She knew she would be next. She was the only living person remaining in the mine, and whatever was preying upon its inmates would soon find her.

 

 

Lyra turned and ran from the cell, bumping into walls and tripping over rocks.

“Help me… help me! Are you there? Can you still hear me? Vaermina? Vae-“

Her legs suddenly gave out and she fell flat on her face. Only two noises could be heard in the dead silence: her violently pounding heart, and Vaermina’s malicious chuckle.

There was something odd about it… something wrong.

A note of powerfully-restrained madness had edged into Vaermina’s laughter. The daedra no longer sounded sinister and seductive, as much as it now sounded… unhinged.

Lyra listened to the laughter slowly grow in intensity. Then she whispered…

“Who are you? Tell me the truth.”

The laughter abruptly ceased.

 

 

“I think you’re beginning to hear me much more clearly now,” said the darkness.

 

 

 

To be continued...

 

Aw sh!t, plot twist at twelve o'clock!

I like some dark in my coffee. Mmmm

[Driftingbosco]

Blowjob for Jarl Ulfric "Make it quick,"

 

 

 

 

What mod for that ass?