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How do I turn a girl down politely?

AwfulArchdemon

By AwfulArchdemon,
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AwfulArchdemon

AwfulArchdemon

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Okay, she asked me to the movies. wtf? She asked when I start college, and I said January. She said "Oh, well that gives us time to go see a show". I said "A show? What kind of show?" She said "You know, a movie. That way, when you meet that special lady, you can learn what she wants and how to make her happy.". To which I replied, "I'd rather learn how to make my employer happy". I'm not going to college to meet ladies, I'm going there to get a job in gaming, afterall.

 

Anyway, total silence fell upon the room. That is, until my boss busted out laughing...was I mean?

nonusnomeni

nonusnomeni

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nope

if women can reject man man can also reject women

how many times are average man reject in his life and how many times women was (100:1 i bet)

(me personally never simple because i was never first make move and i never will)

if women don't care about men feeling when she reject him why should man care about women feeling

try to live as the mirror everything will be much more easier everything will be much more clear

personally i prefer my grandpa words every good return double every evil triple

 

Spartan 363

Spartan 363

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I had a similar issue a few years ago when a female coworker wanted to date me at the time.  What I said to her was that I just recently broke up from a bad relationship and needed a bit more time for my emotions to heal up and move on.  She was very understanding and I eventually did date her because she was such a down to Earth girl, unfortunately, she moved across the country (I'm east coast USA) to California and we eventually broke up on good terms because of her needing to take care of her sick family member and the distance between us.  We still chat these days as good friends and such.

 

Also, you can tell her that you would rather be friends and get to really know her and would like the maintain your friendship with her.  Then you may really get to know her as you hang out and such and maybe one day decide to give her a chance.  Not many girls come to guys looking for relationships these days, it's quite the opposite my friend.

AwfulArchdemon

AwfulArchdemon

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I had a similar issue a few years ago when a female coworker wanted to date me at the time.  What I said to her was that I just recently broke up from a bad relationship and needed a bit more time for my emotions to heal up and move on.  She was very understanding and I eventually did date her because she was such a down to Earth girl, unfortunately, she moved across the country (I'm east coast USA) to California and we eventually broke up on good terms because of her needing to take care of her sick family member and the distance between us.  We still chat these days as good friends and such.

Good to hear. I fully respect that. It's good to hear everything was handled in a mature way. Wish I had that situation going on. :-/

Spartan 363

Spartan 363

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I had a similar issue a few years ago when a female coworker wanted to date me at the time.  What I said to her was that I just recently broke up from a bad relationship and needed a bit more time for my emotions to heal up and move on.  She was very understanding and I eventually did date her because she was such a down to Earth girl, unfortunately, she moved across the country (I'm east coast USA) to California and we eventually broke up on good terms because of her needing to take care of her sick family member and the distance between us.  We still chat these days as good friends and such.

Good to hear. I fully respect that. It's good to hear everything was handled in a mature way. Wish I had that situation going on. :-/

 

 

Thanks, you just gotta think it through and use the right words which is difficult at times.  My mother was the one that gave me this advice.  What exactly have you said to her when she has confronted you lately? 

AwfulArchdemon

AwfulArchdemon

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Just that last encounter I posted about:

Okay, she asked me to the movies. wtf? She asked when I start college, and I said January. She said "Oh, well that gives us time to go see a show". I said "A show? What kind of show?" She said "You know, a movie. That way, when you meet that special lady, you can learn what she wants and how to make her happy.". To which I replied, "I'd rather learn how to make my employer happy". I'm not going to college to meet ladies, I'm going there to get a job in gaming, afterall.

 

Anyway, total silence fell upon the room. That is, until my boss busted out laughing...was I mean?

 

 

Spartan 363

Spartan 363

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I would say yes, women have far stronger feelings and can turn upside down quickly compared to men.  Your boss may have laughed because it made you look awkward or he just finds it ironic in a man putting a girl down or if he knows you never been in a serious relationship and may laugh because of that because there are assholes like that everywhere where they look down on others for their personal amusement and such.

 

What I would have said is that I'm focusing on my studies and think having a relationship right now may impede my focus to study and use up valuable time I would normally use to study the courses I'm taking.  I would tell her my potential career after college is important to me and then when I'm established, I would like to pursue a serious relationship.  I would also tell her we can hang out when I have free time with other friends of yours and maybe hers so that it's not as awkward and such.  being around your friends also allows you to feel more comfortable around her and such.  Plus, I would tell her the importance of having a good established career first because I don't want to be one of those broke men working 3 different jobs cleaning toilets and flipping burgers to support a family.

AwfulArchdemon

AwfulArchdemon

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My boss is a "she", by the way. And I have been engaged before, so I have therefore been in a serious relationship.

 

I've already explained that my job is the only thing that matters right now. I will not be hanging out with her. I have never done so in the past, and I'm not gonna start now...not when I know she wants me very badly.

AKM

AKM

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I would say yes, women have far stronger feelings and can turn upside down quickly compared to men.

 

I have to take issue with this statement.  When you look at what society, at least here in the US, deems acceptable, men displaying their emotions is decidedly not among that group.  Sure, every once in a while, they'll say it's okay, but everywhere you look are cues that, in fact, it is not.  (Time magazine recently [December 2, 2013 Vol 182 No. 23] ran a cover page article on what this [and more specifically porn] is doing to our young men.  Titled "What Boys Want", the article pointed out directly the lack of support for young men that young women get by default.)  Look at a support given to women, and then look for an equal example for men.  Good luck!  Prime example:  Spousal and other abuse, and even worse, rape.  My research into these subjects is appalling, but not the least bit surprising.  Society states that: "The male is supposed to be the strong emotionless automaton who provides for the family and provides aid and comfort for the weaker, more emotional female.  Women are never strong enough to be the source of abuse and, by extension, are incapable of rape."  It's utter nonsense. 

 

The result is male targets of such abuse have to go to exclusively female oriented and based support... and that's only if their strong enough to do so.  Otherwise, they have to deal with it (or not) on their own.  That article, by the way, included a far higher number of teen and young adult male suicides than women of the same age group.  Didn't surprise me in the least.

 

Men have been programed to act a particular way, just as women have.  Step outside those boundaries and you're looking for trouble, at least so far as what people think of you.  When do I hug female friends?  On a regular basis.  When was the last time I hugged a male friend?  Ten years ago, right after college.  My closest college friend who I figured I'd never see again.  On the monthly occasions when I visit with my old high school friend, we end our visits with a handshake, because we're guys, and that's just the way it is in this society.  He's my closest male friend, I'd love to depart with a hug, but it's just not the way things are done in this country.

Nonsense667

Nonsense667

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Men have been programed to act a particular way, just as women have.  Step outside those boundaries and you're looking for trouble, at least so far as what people think of you.  When do I hug female friends?  On a regular basis.  When was the last time I hugged a male friend?  Ten years ago, right after college.  My closest college friend who I figured I'd never see again.  On the monthly occasions when I visit with my old high school friend, we end our visits with a handshake, because we're guys, and that's just the way it is in this society.  He's my closest male friend, I'd love to depart with a hug, but it's just not the way things are done in this country.

:'(

 

Lsf2r.png

 

(And no... I'm not being sarcastic. Sometimes... I wish I was female, so I could give everyone hugs and it not be strange...)

AwfulArchdemon

AwfulArchdemon

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Yay! It turns out her sister was a 'Golden Glove Boxer' for years...

 

If this girl wants me, I dare say I'd have to do it, or get wrecked by a bigger, stronger, girl. I feel like I'm 2 feet tall.

 

It sounds like an exaggeration to say she's whoop me just for saying no to her sister, but from I hear, the whole family is NUTS. The guy who does the hiring for my school...the boxer's husband...he shows up with a new life-threatening injury every month. The latest was a broken arm. The one just before that? He was shot 3 times...Yay! I'm fucked! (literally)

Guest endgameaddiction

Guest endgameaddiction

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Sincerity. Be a gentlemen about it. If she doesn't understand, then her maturity level hasn't caught up with her age.

 

Given the circumstances, the position you are in is pretty difficult, but I'd still tell "This Guy" the deal. It's better to be straight forward instead. That's what I would do, because I'm just straight forward like that. Beating around the bush just gets you in trouble in the long run. Dignity. If "this guy" cannot evaluation the situation and personally wants to attack you for rejecting her, then he expects nothing more than unhappiness for her.

 

Do what you must to stand your ground, but don't do something you don't want to do for the gain of something else.

Lovely Rose

Lovely Rose

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Meh just be honest, best way to go about it, Like endgameaddiction said "Beating around the bust gets you in trouble"

 

If she comes on to you, just say I'm just not that into you :P

 

If she takes it badly than remind her you can always remain freinds. ;D

AwfulArchdemon

AwfulArchdemon

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But we can't be friends. We don't chill...

 

I'm not gonna introduce a friendship where there is none, to a dangerous girl who just adores me...

 

...but endgameaddiction is right. I'm just explaining shit in plain English to everyone now. ftw

StayFrosty

StayFrosty

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Yay! It turns out her sister was a 'Golden Glove Boxer' for years...

 

If this girl wants me, I dare say I'd have to do it, or get wrecked by a bigger, stronger, girl. I feel like I'm 2 feet tall.

 

It sounds like an exaggeration to say she's whoop me just for saying no to her sister, but from I hear, the whole family is NUTS. The guy who does the hiring for my school...the boxer's husband...he shows up with a new life-threatening injury every month. The latest was a broken arm. The one just before that? He was shot 3 times...Yay! I'm fucked! (literally)

 

I don't know America's laws (am Australian) , but is something like Pepper Spray legal where you are? A just in case back up.

Guest endgameaddiction

Guest endgameaddiction

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Pepper spray is legal in self defense here in the U.S. But there's a high restriction on it for the most case. Check this here if you wish to know more about it.

AKM

AKM

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That depends entirely on in which state this Walmart is located.  The ones in the Carolinas have hunting rifles, AR-15s etc., ready for purchase.  You won't find so much as a slingshot in a Walmart in my state.  Okay, I exaggerate.  In all seriousness, nothing more than pellet guns.  Anywho, the sporting goods section would be the place to look, I'd think, if they have it.

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