Cheating in relationship

[Evaloves4]

 

> Having discussion about cheating with my Fran, Silvano and Ivan I learned that each one of them have different opinion about cheating in relationship. One of them said that having sex with other man/woman outside the relationship is cheating. The other one said that kissing a man/woman outside relationship is cheating. And the third one said that flirting with the man/woman outside of relationship is cheating. And so on and so on. The three of us says that everything that your parnter disagree with and that hurts him/her is a cheating. I wish to know what is cheating for you and why. Please, lets keep our comments civilized, mature and cultured. Thank you.

Edited January 6, 2023 by Evaloves4

[Evaloves4]

Reserved

[worik]

58 minutes ago, Evaloves4 said:

everything that your parnter disagree with and that hurts him/her is a cheating

☝️Similar, but that might be a translation thing.

The "cheating" thing is only where the partner doesn't know about it. In advance!

With the knowledge, it isn't "cheating" anymore.

 

What you actually do, kissing, hugging, flirting, fucking, .. that's a thing for the "hurting" category and whatever you agreed to be "fun".

 

[Evaloves4]

14 minutes ago, worik said:

☝️Similar, but that might be a translation thing.

The "cheating" thing is only where the partner doesn't know about it. In advance!

With the knowledge, it isn't "cheating" anymore.

 

 

> According to my definition of cheating, you can't know if your partner is cheating you in advance, before it happens, since no one announce cheating in advance. Even if your partner says: I will cheat on you, and do it later, it is still cheating if both partners disallow any physical contact with other person, especially sex. Well, this is my view but it doesn't mean I have right since people usually have different definition of cheating.

[Guest]

To me, cheating on your mate, whether married, significant other, or just a couple, is the most damaging thing you can do to the other person. The Lie's, misdirection, excuses. It really does not matter what they are doing, (sex, drugs, a cult, etc.) if they are doing these things, it's cheating.

Deception;

the act of causing someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid 

[worik]

13 minutes ago, Evaloves4 said:

you can't know if your partner is cheating you in advance

That's the point.

You have been cheated if you learned it AFTER it happened without being told BEFORE it happend.

You can't be cheated if your partner tells you the thing in advance.

 

Please keep in mind again, that I don't say anything about consent or hurt up there ☝️

 

[Guest]

I'd say crossed the line when just window shopping is stepped over.

 

Won't get mad over being checked out or parter checking out someone's look. There was always a choice to say no. Once partner pro active does things in full knowledge that it's hurting their partner they cheating.

 

For context of breaking up it would a last straw factor instead of number 1. There's other values, independent, carying, have a sense of empathy with wants and needs, can admit flaws and compassion. After all if a partner doesn't have such qualitys they aren't for long relationships. If they cheating and abuse thrust that would last straw to drop them off.

 

I would probably forgive a mistake if they still have enough redeeming qualitys.

 

 

Spoiler

No Im not looking, dont dm me

 

Edited January 6, 2023 by KittcatJ

[MidNightQuiet]

To me cheating is something you do against your partner with or without his or her consent. So this problem can be the act of the partner having sex with someone else, but it can also be some act that harms the other partner in the relationship, for example: a person marries another with the intention of just taking half of the assets of the partner. In conclusion, cheating can happen in many ways and it can happen to both men and women and the only solution that works for both is the following: don't rush to find a life partner, take it easy and try to get to know the person you like intends to date/marry in the future because this caution leads to a long and healthy relationship.

[Mr. Otaku]

Cheating to me is when you engage sexually with someone other than your partner who you agreed to be in a monogamous relationship with, so the standard definition in most people's minds. That problem doesn't really exist for me cause i'm in an open relationship and both me and my partner can fuck anyone we want (it's also her job to do that on camera so that fits perfectly with our dynamic) and there's no need to explain anything before or afterwards. Unless it's with someone either of us have a problem with, like "nah not this person cause they're an asshole" kind of thing and we tend to be on the same page with that kind of stuff, but that's less about cheating and more about blacklisting certain people out of our social/sex lives due to variety of pre-existing reasons.

 

Flirting is a grey area generally cause it's not inherently sexual but has the aesthetic of sexual tension and whether that counts as cheating to someone is up to them to decide and communicate with their partners beforehand, this is why i always tell people to clear up things before getting into relationships to avoid petty incompatibilities down the line. I would add that to me cheating is also really hot in fiction like many of the other things that'd be super disgusting in real life (like rape and assault and all that stuff).

 

Okay i think that covers it.

Edited January 12, 2023 by Mr. Otaku
Make A Post With No Typos Challenge Level: Impossible

[AKM]

worik's statement is spot on.  Stated slightly differently, it's all about trust.  If you can't trust the person you're in a relationship with, there's no point.  The specifics don't really matter, as previously mentioned.  If it's mutually accepted (and therefore done in a trustworthy environment), then there won't be any problem in the first place, no matter the action.  But that's where openness about actions and intentions come into play, those being (some of) the groundwork to a solid relationship.

[Clea Strange]

Cheating to me is where you or your partner is sexually active with someone else outside of the relationship.

 

Flirting is a grey area for me

[Donotuy]

10 hours ago, Clea Strange said:

Cheating to me is where you or your partner is sexually active with someone else outside of the relationship.

 

Flirting is a grey area for me

Same thing. Like, it is a nice feeling to understand that you're still attractive for other people, but it does not mean that I want to be with them or to have sex with them.

[xKnallAnder]

As for my opinion on the matter. 

It's really anything that you'd do in a relationship, like sex, kissing etc. without the partners knowledge and approval.

 

I say, as long as all partners agree it's alright to for example have sex with different people who aren't actively part of the relationship I wouldn't consider it cheating. As both know and agreed that this is alright. I suppose both of those people are mature enough to make their own decisions in that regard and set the according boundaries. 

 

As for how I handle my relationships:

If I have a girlfriend that means that this is the only women I will flirt with, have sex with, cuddle with etc. and I expect the same back. 

I'm not going to sleep with another women or man. So neither are you supposed to. I don't mind if you look at other men or other women from time to time, as I do so myself. If it remains at looking with your eyes and doesn't go any further I'm alright with it. 

Meaning I also have no issue with watching porn, or using "specific" skyrim mods or the like. 

 

Anything going over those boundaries, that's cheating for me. 

I hope my post makes sense ...

[Resdayn]

I'm a monogamous person, so for me cheating would be flirting, having sex with others, cuddle etc..

 

Nowadays people can set up relationships and boundaries many ways, so that's varies a lot.

 

Cheating is breaking the said boundaries with others in a relationship.

 

 

[Guest]

Cheating for me is doing something behind my back. If my lover wants to have sex with someone else. I find this completely natural. Attraction doesn't simply stop because you are in a relationship. What makes it shitty, is the secrecy. If he wants to be with someone else...fine by me, just bring her home so we can all have fun, and the same goes the other way.

 

The way I look at it, is why not all of us have fun?

[coldheartzero]

There is NEVER an excuse for cheating. Never, if your relationshit is on the rocks, then LEAVE. It's not an excuse to cheat. Show some fucking backbone, take some fucking accountability.

 

For me, my definition of cheating is doing something intimate with someone else that you'd normally, that any NORMAL person would reserve for an S.O. I say "normal" because thanks to the prevalence of hookup culture, the new 'thing' is being psycho sluts and bangin' anything that moves now days. To fucking old to tolerate that crap. It's empowering to have a body count higher than the street corner pro!

 

I've only ever had one person be faithful to me my entire life.

 

They've ALWAYS had an excuse, excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink. The excuses were always BS, always flimsy, and just an excuse to be trash. Oh but you missed my bday and I was lonely,,, I was working to pay YOUR BILLS is my all time favorite.

[Z0mBieP00Nani]

I think cheating involves intercourse of some kind, or foreplay, or kissing, basically anything that you would find in a romantic relationship. It doesn't matter to me if it was a one time thing, or there were no feelings (which is a huge load), that's cheating. Stuff like watching porn or playful banter is maybe something to be a little uncomfortable about, but that's not the same as "cheating", though apparently there are some out there who do see that as cheating, and those people are crazy, in my opinion.

[Guest]

What about sending naked pics of yourself to another woman and having sexual affairs with them in your own home when your girlfriend is at work? Is that cheating or did I just overreact?

Just got back home. Still feel like shit both physically and mentally.

[Alessia Wellington]

6 minutes ago, deadjester226 said:

Is that cheating or did I just overreact?

 

I'd consider that as cheating.

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, Alessia Wellington said:

 

I'd consider that as cheating.

I know. I was being a smartass. Good to see you again, by the way. I can't believe I defended that fucking bitch. I almost deleted my account for her. I gave her everything I had to offer and that's how she fucking repaid me?

My grandfather is telling me that I need to get some sleep. Talk to you later.