1 minute ago, Tirloque said:

Ancient Egyptians wore clothes that would be more suited for an African documentary or an erotic movie than a peplum : network dresses, dresses starting from under the breasts to the ankles (with very light almost transparent fabrics for the wealthiest women). They were way more at ease with body and sensuality than our current occidental culture is.

 

So yeah, definitely more sexier than Elizabeth Taylor's attire. Malicia would've liked to wear those things though, I wonder if she could find comparable attires in Alik'r lands. M

I meant the fact she had a sexy food province wich feed an whole Empire, increased her attractiveness

4 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Here are the other ones I saw :

  Reveal hidden contents

He just want away => he just wants to go/move away
Barrier, you know => there is a barrier, you know
hell, that coud work => could
and she with ...? => incorrect. Even if you skip the subject you need a verb here.
hah, did you really think I xwas helping you escape => was
but you'v done your part => you've
I'v got the world to toy with => I've

 

You tend to skip verbs in fact. Doing so is okay when something happens very quickly (ex. « The door ! » if a door is closing), but in english (even in slang) there will be verbs most of the time. Also careful not to skip "the" (definite article), because that's even more infrequent in english (=> "Door !" instead of "The door !" would be correct in some languages (such as Japanese), but not really in english).

 

But hey, your comic is mostly understandable ; on the first example it's my fault that I missed something. And those are still minor issues though, your comic was a pleasant read.

Yes, I see them, and I'm ashamed =(
if I get to my PC  in the near future to try to reload the edited (should I?)
Many thanks for the clarification ^_^
I feel again like in school :D

4 hours ago, Resdayn said:

What kind of Inquisition this to allow this heresy, where are Paladin Exterminatus to judge and save the day.

Not your kind of friendship?  

19 minutes ago, Crw said:

Not your kind of friendship?  

Power of yuri is not going help them against an hentai demon.

Gwynolda ain't here to help her powers.

1 hour ago, Crw said:

Yes, I see them, and I'm ashamed =(
if I get to my PC  in the near future to try to reload the edited (should I?)
Many thanks for the clarification ^_^
I feel again like in school :D

College rocks ! If you've got Malicia as a classmate that is...

Anyway, the objective of my little list wasn't for you to correct this entry ; but only to suggest you enforce proofreading on the future ones. I've already clicked on the like button for the current one.

45 minutes ago, Resdayn said:

Gwynolda ain't here to help her powers.

Malicia : « She ain't anywhere, no ! ? »

Great job, I like that the demon took the two girls with him, that will allow you to add additional locations to your story.

Considering the spelling mistakes Tirloque mentioned, I have the same problem and recommend https://languagetool.org I check every sentence of my story with it. It's not perfect, but at least you get rid of the typos and some basic grammar mistakes.

On 5/26/2018 at 1:25 PM, Tirloque said:

So yeah, definitely more sexier than Elizabeth Taylor's clothes. Malicia would like to wear this kind of attire though, I wonder if she could find comparable ones in Alik'r lands.

Malicia : « A kind of inquisition that wants an ending with happy people everywhere, yes. »

In case you're really looking for something like this, I can recommend Charles Rene

 

Btw. Malicia is right, even though I'd prefer to have her spared, the happy ending inquisition is a bit out of flavor...

16 minutes ago, Alter Native said:

Considering the spelling mistakes Tirloque mentioned, I have the same problem and recommend https://languagetool.org I check every sentence of my story with it. It's not perfect, but at least you get rid of the typos and some basic grammar mistakes.

Oh, thank you wery much ^_^

I'll definitely try this ^_^

17 minutes ago, Alter Native said:

Great job, I like that the demon took the two girls with him, that will allow you to add additional locations to your story.

Oh yea ^__^ They really stayed in the monastery for too long

20 minutes ago, Alter Native said:

Btw. Malicia is right, even though I'd prefer to have her spared, the happy ending inquisition is a bit out of flavor...

I'm afraid that for our heroes the happy end is an elusive prospect. ^_^

And saving her life is an opportunity to develop a bit of a new character on a base of an old one (saying more would a bit of a spoiler) ^__^

Glad that you like it

Thank you

3 hours ago, Alter Native said:

In case you're really looking for something like this, I can recommend Charles Rene

 

 

Malicia : « Ooh, she's so pretty ! I want an outfit just like it, so that I can look very fancy in the desert too ! »

However, Avast sends me a virus message on gamer.ru download link, so I'll try to get it elsewhere, but thanks.

Quote

Btw. Malicia is right, even though I'd prefer to have her spared, the happy ending inquisition is a bit out of flavor...

Well to Malicia the world is a big place where everyone can become friends (if not lovers), inquisitors included. So there was no hidden message there.

Plus, as it may lead to interesting relational conflicts, I gave my vote to sparing as well.

13 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

However, Avast sends me a virus message on gamer.ru download link, so I'll try to get it elsewhere, but thanks.

Just let me know if you want me to send it to you :).

26 minutes ago, Alter Native said:

Just let me know if you want me to send it to you :).

Just found it on LL. Interestingly enough, LL features it, but not nexus.

Thanks for the proposal anyway, Alter Native.