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SINNER CITY CHRONICLES - BDSM Comics Story


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Hello dear

 

Here the start of a new comics story, as i'm french, if someone wanna help with the translation, it will be great, as you can read my english is really poor ....

 

Please, share and comment if you like, you're feed back are important to me

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Interesting pitch (though indeed the detective did something stupid, as she said :classic_angel:), and good layout (the drawing-effect filter seems also good). Your english is however hindering you. I'd advice you to read/watch comics/movies/animes in english and to keep writing to improve it little by little.

Also, your story might fit better into the blogs' section than into the mods' one. That's where most story-sagas are. :classic_smile:

 

As for translation mistakes, here are the main ones :

Spoiler

p1
- some cash is always welcome
p3
- time to get dressed.
p4
- Well I get dressed, then go to the nightclub
-It'll look suspicious if we go in together

P5
- and don't you think I look like a nice prostitute
p12
- what's happening to me
p13
-Naya emerges from the darkness
p14
-tied me up and hanged me on the woll
- that's might be the only exit
p15
- water is coming really quick
- Nyla will never find me here
p16
- looks like the water stopped

p17

who drugged me at the club

It's mostly grammar in fact. You'll probably won't find someone to correct your text every time, so you should work the way you conjugate verbs, the +ing form for things happening at the present moment (happening), and the +ed form for past adjectives (happened). Also, a bit of proof-reading wouldn't hurt. :classic_angel:

 

Good luck for your next chapter, and don't worry every one does english mistakes from time to time. Smiley_jap_HFR.gif

 

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22 minutes ago, Mr_Savos said:

Thanks you so much dear

And you re right , ill do a blog entry for the comics , will be better 

 

Thanks again for advices 

No problem, you're welcome. And I'll be glad to read you stories in the blog section. :smiley:

 

PS : don't use "dear" when speaking to someone you've just met. It's close to the french work "chéri/chérie", it's not appropriate in those circumstances. :classic_biggrin::classic_wink:

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20 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

No problem, you're welcome. And I'll be glad to read you stories in the blog section. :smiley:

 

PS : don't use "dear" when speaking to someone you've just met. It's close to the french work "chéri/chérie", it's not appropriate in those circumstances. :classic_biggrin::classic_wink:

Oh yes , indeed lol.

Im french so i ve many bugs with english language . And i really apreciate your help :smile:

 

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Mmmm, comics, history, bdsm ^ _ ^ Already interesting :smile:

Waiting for the continuation) I do not know why, but the visual style and main  heroine remind's me Syberia, the old one, this is not what you see every day.

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4 minutes ago, Crw said:

Mmmm, comics, history, bdsm ^ _ ^ Already interesting :smile:

Waiting for the continuation) I do not know why, but the visual style and main  heroine remind's me Syberia, the old one, this is not what you see every day.

Thanks à lot .

The next part soon :smile:

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Il y a 2 heures, Swiftstep a dit:

2 choses supplémentaires:

 

-> pensez à créer votre propre blog

-> ajouter [spo iler] & [/ spo iler] dans votre photo post

 

Ça devrait le faire.

Yes , thanks again :smile:

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well, the last part of the chapter one, 54 pages at all, i'll do that correction probably tomorow and pull the comics on a blog on the forum, if you can give me your feed back on th story. And sorry again for the text, i'm really not english lol

 

 

 

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Everything turned not as I expected, but it's even better ^ _ ^ This is your story, and I like it.

And a compliment for the design of the pages and the maintenance of a unique atmosphere and a palette of colors ^_^ As for the language - I am not a native speaker, and I can not help beyond what @Tirloque said.

But it seems to me that you are making progress :smile: It's always the question of time and practice ^_^

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I'll wait for it to be blogged before I read it. Just one thing about spoilers : you don't need to use 50 of those, it's confusing for the reader, just use a couple of those with several images inside each should be enough. You can put several images in one spoiler just like that :

 

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See them as one spoiler per chapter or per scene for example. Just post your images and then fit the whole thing in one or three spoilers. Awaiting to read you in the blogs section ! :classic_wink:

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