Guest Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 Hello dear Here the start of a new comics story, as i'm french, if someone wanna help with the translation, it will be great, as you can read my english is really poor .... Please, share and comment if you like, you're feed back are important to me
Tirloque Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 Interesting pitch (though indeed the detective did something stupid, as she said ), and good layout (the drawing-effect filter seems also good). Your english is however hindering you. I'd advice you to read/watch comics/movies/animes in english and to keep writing to improve it little by little. Also, your story might fit better into the blogs' section than into the mods' one. That's where most story-sagas are. As for translation mistakes, here are the main ones : Spoiler p1 - some cash is always welcome p3 - time to get dressed. p4 - Well I get dressed, then go to the nightclub -It'll look suspicious if we go in together P5 - and don't you think I look like a nice prostitute p12 - what's happening to me p13 -Naya emerges from the darkness p14 -tied me up and hanged me on the woll - that's might be the only exit p15 - water is coming really quick - Nyla will never find me here p16 - looks like the water stopped p17 who drugged me at the club It's mostly grammar in fact. You'll probably won't find someone to correct your text every time, so you should work the way you conjugate verbs, the +ing form for things happening at the present moment (happening), and the +ed form for past adjectives (happened). Also, a bit of proof-reading wouldn't hurt. Good luck for your next chapter, and don't worry every one does english mistakes from time to time.
Guest Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 Thanks you so much dear And you re right , ill do a blog entry for the comics , will be better Thanks again for advices
Tirloque Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 22 minutes ago, Mr_Savos said: Thanks you so much dear And you re right , ill do a blog entry for the comics , will be better Thanks again for advices No problem, you're welcome. And I'll be glad to read you stories in the blog section. PS : don't use "dear" when speaking to someone you've just met. It's close to the french work "chéri/chérie", it's not appropriate in those circumstances.
Guest Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 20 minutes ago, Tirloque said: No problem, you're welcome. And I'll be glad to read you stories in the blog section. PS : don't use "dear" when speaking to someone you've just met. It's close to the french work "chéri/chérie", it's not appropriate in those circumstances. Oh yes , indeed lol. Im french so i ve many bugs with english language . And i really apreciate your help
Crw0 Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 Mmmm, comics, history, bdsm ^ _ ^ Already interesting Waiting for the continuation) I do not know why, but the visual style and main heroine remind's me Syberia, the old one, this is not what you see every day.
Guest Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 4 minutes ago, Crw said: Mmmm, comics, history, bdsm ^ _ ^ Already interesting Waiting for the continuation) I do not know why, but the visual style and main heroine remind's me Syberia, the old one, this is not what you see every day. Thanks à lot . The next part soon
Swiftstep Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 2 additional things: -> consider to create your own blog -> add [spo iler] & [/spo iler] into your picture post That should do it.
Guest Posted April 8, 2018 Posted April 8, 2018 Il y a 2 heures, Swiftstep a dit: 2 choses supplémentaires: -> pensez à créer votre propre blog -> ajouter [spo iler] & [/ spo iler] dans votre photo post Ça devrait le faire. Yes , thanks again
Guest Posted April 10, 2018 Posted April 10, 2018 So, the last part of the chapter is almost done, i'll try to do my best with translation, and hope you gonna enjoy
Guest Posted April 12, 2018 Posted April 12, 2018 well, the last part of the chapter one, 54 pages at all, i'll do that correction probably tomorow and pull the comics on a blog on the forum, if you can give me your feed back on th story. And sorry again for the text, i'm really not english lol Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler
Crw0 Posted April 12, 2018 Posted April 12, 2018 Everything turned not as I expected, but it's even better ^ _ ^ This is your story, and I like it. And a compliment for the design of the pages and the maintenance of a unique atmosphere and a palette of colors ^_^ As for the language - I am not a native speaker, and I can not help beyond what @Tirloque said. But it seems to me that you are making progress It's always the question of time and practice ^_^
Guest Posted April 12, 2018 Posted April 12, 2018 Thanks à lot , the last page talk about the next chapter , it Will be really fun , more than this one
Tirloque Posted April 12, 2018 Posted April 12, 2018 I'll wait for it to be blogged before I read it. Just one thing about spoilers : you don't need to use 50 of those, it's confusing for the reader, just use a couple of those with several images inside each should be enough. You can put several images in one spoiler just like that : See them as one spoiler per chapter or per scene for example. Just post your images and then fit the whole thing in one or three spoilers. Awaiting to read you in the blogs section !
Guest Posted April 12, 2018 Posted April 12, 2018 Excellent , thanks again for the tips , i think the blog Will be okey in the next 12hours .
Guest Posted April 13, 2018 Posted April 13, 2018 blog here https://www.loverslab.com/blogs/blog/946-sinner-city/
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