Best/Worst Pick Up Lines

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Ok, when it comes to flirting we've all heard some bad pick up lines, perhaps some good ones, and even some improbable ones. Whether they were good, bad or genuinely "WTF?", post some memorable pick up lines you've uttered or head. I'll start:

 

"All I can promise you is that I won't stop until the mattress is drenched, your legs are numb and the neighbors know my name."

[Pavaux]

"How much?"

[Gagoloth]

"Do you spit or swallow?"

[teitogun]

"follow me I need your help"

[Guest]

comes up in bar from behind when i ordering drinks to shape on me like i never will notise, goes slowly by and postion himself next to me and stare at my boobs, thats like wtf?  what about a normal hi how are u? without the squeeing shaping and the obius look without saying anything its just creepy

 

[AgendaDysphoria]

"My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in!"

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

This one a friend tried

 

"If I was a squirrel and you were a tree, could I bust a nut in your hole?"

it went over EXACTLY as well as you think

[Ashkandii]

"hey you yeaah you, are you tired of having guys come up to with bad pick up lines? yeah? thats good gurl thats reaal good i got the perfect solution for you, how about we do what you here for..." *wink wink*

apparently it wasen't what i was thinking but i still got her number which is all good.

[Redflyingmonkey]

"Do you want to get out and puke together on a car outside" ? 
Me, to any girl I see in electro fests when the gf is not around. 

[Cynical Misanthrope]

"May I entice the lady with a intercourse" - Said by a good friend of mine, after hitting on a lady for a few hours.

 

"Hey, if you want to fuck me, go ahead, we can do it in the bathroom" - Said by a lady to me. I barely knew her, and she was drunk as fuck. I politely declined.

 

"Hey you, have you seen a thing like this before?" - Said by me, while pulling my pants down, and tucked my cock between my legs, and tried to make it look a pussy.

It did not end there, and she replied "well, have you seen a thing like this before" and pulled her pants down and showed me her pussy.

 

"Lets go into the bedroom and see what happens shall we?"  - Said by me when a I meet a girl from the Internet. Also. my best friend was also present, so we ended up having a threesome with her.

 

[ТigегШооd]

I'll be gentle, I promise.

What can I say I'm very considerate.

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

"I can't wait to disappoint you sexually"

 

^ Don't ask me how, but it got me laid.

[Cynical Misanthrope]

"I can't wait to disappoint you sexually"

 

^ Don't ask me how, but it got me laid.

 

lol, good one! At least you were honest and that may have been the trigger

[Guest smellbo]

You cook dinner.

I'll cook breakfast.

[Molevalence]

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a foot long.

I'm not Fred Flintstone but I will definitely make your Bedrock.

My name is Chance. Do I have one?

Can you count? Can you count on spending the night?

Beauty is only a light switch away.

 

I never used these but I heard them over the years. Worth a few laughs at least.

[Captain Cobra]

Are you an archaeologist?  I've got a bone for you to inspect.

[AgendaDysphoria]

Wanna give me an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss but you're going down under.

[Eternally_Dark]

One of my all time favorites is:

"NIce shoes, Wanna fuck?"

It's never gotten me anywhere, but I usually say it to get a laugh.

[ТigегШооd]

Imma hurt you real good baby.

[Emberheart]

"OMG you play videogames? That's so cool." It gets old fast hearing that in any conversation.

[Redflyingmonkey]

"OMG you play videogames? That's so cool." It gets old fast hearing that in any conversation.

Think about all the nerd dudes on this planet who'd orgasm instantly if this same line was said once in any conversation by any girl in an attempt to pick her up ! 

 

 

It'd go like : 

"I hit level 80 on my warlock yesterday, how about celebrating with me ?

 

- OMG you play videogames? That's so cool.

 

 

"

[Guest Mogie56]

Some funny, some corny and none would work LOL.

 

 Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

 If I followed you home, would you keep me?

 Here is $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come talk to me.

I'm trying to rearrange the alphabet so that U and I are together.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

If we had a garden, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together.

Hey, I just noticed you looking at me across the room. I'll give you a minute to catch your breath!

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.

[Spectre_15]

My friend at work told me someone said this to her at a bar: "I want to stick my penis in your face."

 

They've been together for 6 months now.  Guess it worked?

[Chaos63]

You like magic? Wanna see me pull something out of my pants?

[Queen Bee]

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

 

If we had a garden, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together.

 

That first one makes me lol.

 

The second one sounds like a pickup line for lesbians, ifyouknowwhatImean ^_~