LL Therapy: Hate

[Lobzpooatu]

Speaking from my own personal experience which sounds alot like yours hate has been a cancer to me.

 

I've spoken with the pros and I'm taking meds for my anxieties. Thing is I wasn't too happy with myself either. Some of that came from being a selfish asshole. Working on that still, but what I have realized is hating anyone unless they've physically or mentally hurt you or someone you care about and did so intentionally is dumb. Not trying to be an ass it's just to me it's better to let it go and find something better to do. Holding hate inside towards anything can cause so many mental issues, kills your likability and down right make you want to die. Trust me I know.

 

Hate or inflicting it just isn't worth the pain all around. There are better things to do and sooooo many folks here and in RL that need more cheer in their lives so they can be better and do great things. In closing hate breeds hate.

 

Cheers!

[Guest Mogie56]

I have to ask, do you honestly think in your heart of hearts these people, things or places you feel hate for are really worth your time to hate them?

Venting is a good choice which is why we have a RANT Thread, vent, vent and vent some more. get it out of your system. don't look to others to confirm your hate. get it off your chest. The more time you spend in hate the more you loose of yourself. It can consume you if you don't release it. but by all means release it in a constructive way. The Rant thread. Scream into a pillow. Read a book. Calm time is a good release, it takes your mind off that which you are in hate with.

Is there nothing redeeming about what you hate that you could instead focus on? Is it really all their fault for being the way they are?

There are many things even on LL that pisses me off, but I hate no one for it. I don't want to waste what time I have on this earth in something as meaningless as hate. It isn't worth my time nor is it worth yours.

[...0...]

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After all which has been said, I think there's no cure for hate

Shifting your perspective of a situation may help

 

The stronger the hate, the more difficult it gets. Probably there's no easy path for people with chronic hatred like bullied or abused people

It's not simple. Like "accept and love yourself" or "work in focusing on the happy side of things" "exercise" "take sun light" "be direct" or "change your scenario"

As those answers might seem simple, I've seen and experienced their effects in the treatment of other soul ailments and they do work. But for this one there is no easy magical answer

 

As it's obvious focusing on something else might help it is but a distraction, not a solution

Perhaps the answer could be made of combinations between shifting how you see things, accepting what you cannot change and growing some tolerance to it...in time

In the worst cases, channeling it towards something constructive...

 

Hate can be so powerful it can result in killing innocent people/children, look at the murderous misogynist at the shooting near the University of California, Santa Barbara.

[Myst42]

That's exactly the point

I used the word hate, but there can be in low amounts of it manifesting as only rage, or massive amounts ending in atrocities like that

Getting rage bursts may be normal, but some people hold it for ever and never let go

For me, whenever I get angry, it goes away in a matter of hours mostly. But it still can make you do stupid stuff.

For those who hold it forever, stupid can become evil

[Hentai-chan]

Try what I do. Ignore them.

 

"Whoever that battles monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you."

 

The good thing about seeing something that you hate is you'll know yourself better. Think of the yin yang. People know the dark because there's light, and they know light because there's is dark. Because there's sadness joy makes us all feel fuzzy. It's because there's hate that there's also love. The two may seem opposite but in fact they support each other. 

 

Get two bowls. Fill one with water, leave the other empty. Gently move the filled one and water is disturbed. Gently move the empty one and it is unaffected. Be as water but remain undisturbed. But remain undisturbed by anything, anything at all, and you'll lose sight of who you are. The question then is: How much are you willing to disturb yourself? Because when it comes down to it, it is never someone or something else that disturbs you. It is you who lets himself be disturbed.

 

I might go so far as to say that you hate those stupid people because of your hope for humanity. Because you see those people and know there are people not like them, you don't want anyone else to be like them. But if you hate them for who they are, you'll end up just like them. Because if they don't know, how are they to know?

[ratrace]

C. G. Jung once said that what we hate most about others is what we hate most about ourselves. So actually any asshole you meet and that makes you really hate actually gives you a hint to where your problems might be, what you try to push aside and perhaps even why.

 

I can only speak for myself: It is what I find most repugnant about myself that I really hate in others. So I work on forgiving me my own flaws, which quite reliably reduces hate impulses for others.

[Myst42]

That's right, sometimes "hate" is a mirror

It can be true for small stuff

 

But what about chronic hate?

You now those guys who got bullied to death and hate everyone because of it

Clearly they're not bullies

They're submissive

Some may be bullies if given the chance, but most of them are submissive. Trauma made them that way

 

Here in LL we have the rant thread. But rage is everywhere and not everyone can access our dear rant thread

 

[ArgusSCCT]

That's right, sometimes "hate" is a mirror

It can be true for small stuff

 

But what about chronic hate?

You now those guys who got bullied to death and hate everyone because of it

Clearly they're not bullies

They're submissive

Some may be bullies if given the chance, but most of them are submissive. Trauma made them that way

 

Here in LL we have the rant thread. But rage is everywhere and not everyone can access our dear rant thread

 

Don't know if this counts for bullies or whatever but I have college professor who I'm pretty sure was bullied to death. Now, because of that he himself is a bully, every day in class he purposely tries to make others suffer, whether its through insults, insinuations or simply by assigning loads of work just because he feels like it. 

 

I have to say I know what hating like that is like. I spent 5 years hating a lot of people in high school, and not because I was bullied and there was no shortage of fools who tried, but I was not someone who would not defend himself, wasn't bullied to death or anything. What I hated is that those people had to find some way to try to get me to lose my temper and most of the time it was done out of jealousy of something I had that they didn't, that's why I hated those people, because I couldn't understand what it was that drove them to do those things. 

 

In the end its really not worth it to hate something too much or to hold grudges with anyone, it isn't up until now that I just realized it was a waste of time. I pushed a lot of people away and isolated myself because of the delusional ideas I had as a resort of hating people so much. 

[Chaos63]

Man, I just come here to fap to massive bouncing tits. All this philosophy is rather excessive.

[ratrace]

 

Man, I just come here to fap to massive bouncing tits. All this philosophy is rather excessive.

Philosophy is brain fapping. So you shouldn't be too irritated...

[Emberheart]

I used to bully a bit as a teen, which I regret dearly, but I paid the price as well for doing so. I did it mostly to be part of a group of guys and girls from school back then, and because I struggled with where I stood in my own life and in the world being handicapped. A particular girl was bullied for being tall and a bit clumsy and while I participated the least often, I said some of the worst things. I even began to hate her, because it made it easier to bully her. Some fateful day after gymnastics, she was waiting at the exit, without my knowledge thentime for me. She asked after several of the other children I would often hang out with, who had all already left (just goes to show how little they cared about me anyway, not waiting for me because I take longer, being disabled). Thinking nothing of it, I told her they were gone and almost immediately she slapped me around the ears and ended up toppling the wheelchair I mostly used around school. I was so terrified of her that I made up a whole lot of excuses to avoid going to school until my parents got suspicious and took me to the school principle. We all talked, first alone with the school principle, then together. It's there that I learned she herself was terrified of her classmates, despite being a head taller than any of them and with me being crippled, I was the only one she figured she could take on. I picked on her to act tough, to not get picked on by the others, while she picked on me because I was vulnerable enough to pick on in the first place. It's easy to hate, either because it makes it easier to bully someone, or because something makes it so personal that you want to really hurt someone. It's best I guess to never let it get that far and to tackle the problem by the root while you still can. Eventually we got along quite well, better than I did with the other classmates, but it is a reminder or me why I shouldn't hate someone.