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What I know about women

LordJerle

By LordJerle,
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LordJerle

LordJerle

Posted
Posted

Here's what I absolutely know to be fact about women.  I'll put it in a list for easy reading
1) They eat food.  Some of them don't eat very much, but they still eat
2) They have to pee.  If you're in their way of the bathroom, you will get knocked the fuck down.
3) They get pregnant when you poke them.
4) They have boobies.  Boobies are awesome until you bite too hard, then you get smacked for being a dumbass
5) They have mysterious mind control powers.  Somehow, by popping out their chest and asking really nicely, I can always be made to do stuff.
6) Many of them have an odd obsession with buying shoes.
7) They have a hole between their legs.
8) They pee babies

HyperonicX

HyperonicX

Posted
Posted

The age-old question that has plagued mankind for ages has been solved!

 

"What do women want?"

 

The answer? BROWNIES!!! (and chocolate...)

Guest airdance

Guest airdance

Posted
Posted

I think we may have had this conversation before on a slightly different subject. I came away with the assumption that you were much younger

Than the age listed on your profile.  So with all due respect let us see if we can help you in your hour of obvious need.

 

They get pregnant when you poke them.

No, they do not, you can poke a girl until your fingers are sore and you will only succeed in getting her angry with you.

However, if you insert your penis into that hole(vagina) and you deposit a good load of sperm in there, then, it is possible she will become pregnant.

 

They have mysterious mind control powers.

Superior intellect will often appear as magical to a more inferior mind(the little head).

let the big head do the thinking and you will find there are no mysterious mind control abilities after all.

gregathit

gregathit

Posted
Posted

What I know about women could lounge comfortably on the head of pin.  My only solace is that they know as little about me as I do about them.  Groping one another in the dark can be fun!  :P

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

I may not know much, but I think most women require a few dates before they'll let you do any groping. 

Myst42

Myst42

Posted
Posted

Hmmm... things Ive observed about human nature:

They are often perceived as more complex by men...

But thats only is your little friend does all the thinking for you  ;) 

 

They are creatures of emotion while men are mostly of instinct

A scientific explanation for this is the hormonal control over their bodies, behaving similar to bipolar disorder, going from states of joy to depression or anger.

 

No men can really understand this because it would need an emotional link, that replicates what they are feeling at the moment.

 

There are EXCEPTIONS for every case but the general rule to a large percentage of the population usually goes like this:

Man tries to use logic and reason in a situation where you can't reason with an emotion.

Woman gets angry and feels misunderstood

Woman rants and says all men are equal, stupid fucks thinking with their dicks blah blah blah...

Man says "all women are crazy" and goes with his friends to take drink and find some pussy

 

Among the exceptions you can find women who go with girlfriends for something to drink and get some cock

You can find men who are emotional, creative and/or intelligent too

You can find women who do not get emotional or horny and are all intellect... really cold persons

You can find healthy people who know how to balance these states and apply each state in the appropriate configuration, like for example:

Intellect: Work

Emotional: when in need of creativity or forming bonds with others

Horny: Do I really need to give an example of when its good to get horny?

There's a time for everything...

 

Some women claim they do not understand men

They think men think like they do, so their behavior doesnt make sense

All they should do is get horny all the time and the mystery would be solved  :) (Humans are the only species who thinks about sex EVERY SINGLE day)

 

Some women think they are an intellectually superior species and blatantly attempt to manipulate men into doing their will, using weapons as wits and seduction (boobies) while thinking of men as things (Probably an encoded genetic revenge function for centuries of the opposite thing)

Despite their belief, they can still fall to a master deceiver player who will lie and pretend, in order to get laid (and he will)

 

They like to talk about their feelings while getting ignored

 

They can be wonderful beautiful creatures of intense passion... or they can be a real pain in your ass

 

I love them and I actually like listening to them.

But Ive noticed very often, not even they know what they truly want in life

HyperonicX

HyperonicX

Posted
Posted

Being asexual, the concept of femality makes no sense! Same with manality! Heck, even humaninity makes no sense!

 

On that note: Hoomans? How the heck do they work?

LordJerle

LordJerle

Posted
  • Author
Posted

o.O Why are people taking this list seriously?  I actually wrote this for a pregnant friend and she critiqued it and laughed her ass off while I was making it.  

 

on another note... adding to the list

9) Do not get between a pregnant woman and her food.  You will at minimum lose a hand, and possibly a few other extremities.

nonusnomeni

nonusnomeni

Posted
Posted

o.O Why are people taking this list seriously?  I actually wrote this for a pregnant friend and she critiqued it and laughed her ass off while I was making it.  

 

on another note... adding to the list

9) Do not get between a pregnant woman and her food.  You will at minimum lose a hand, and possibly a few other extremities.

 

somebody was taking this seriously :huh:

something illogical, irrational, inconstant can be taken seriously  :blink: 

 

HyperonicX

HyperonicX

Posted
Posted

 

o.O Why are people taking this list seriously?  I actually wrote this for a pregnant friend and she critiqued it and laughed her ass off while I was making it.  

 

on another note... adding to the list

9) Do not get between a pregnant woman and her food.  You will at minimum lose a hand, and possibly a few other extremities.

 

somebody was taking this seriously :huh:

something illogical, irrational, inconstant can be taken seriously  :blink: 

 

 

Yeah, by those who don't have senses of humor.

kingkong

kingkong

Posted
Posted

OH NO !!!!   You are about to find the secret of the difference of men and woomen !!!      no no i want to stay ignorant and innocent

 

i am closing my ears and shutting my eyes :P

HyperonicX

HyperonicX

Posted
Posted

OH NO !!!!   You are about to find the secret of the difference of men and woomen !!!      no no i want to stay ignorant and innocent

 

i am closing my ears and shutting my eyes :P

 

You cannot unsee what has been seen! Except if I go back in time and change the timeline, but then that will only apply to that timeline and not this one... hmmm....

Teechan

Teechan

Posted
Posted

Here's a hint for the folks who are into women: Some ladies have a tendency to expect you to know what they really want or thinking. Sometimes they won't tell you, because they expect you to know, and get hurt and whiny if you need to be told said thing is what they want. Like you should already know said thing, and aren't sensitive enough to know it's what they want.   

 

M: Honey, can I go to the bar with the guys?

 

F: Sure, dear....

 

M: Um, are you okay?

 

F: YES IM OKAY JUST GO!!!! *storms off*

 

M: Um...ok.

 

F: (to her friends) I can't believe he just went out on our anniversary!!

 

I personally hate it when other women do this, but since I too am a woman, I have to catch myself doing this exact thing and say what I really want to my boyfriend.

Ghost

Ghost

Posted
Posted

Hahh... it's in some kind sweat, what they are writing. And I have to laugh at some places. But I don't want to write anything here about "What I know". I just want to read what otherones are writing.

 

 

 

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Women... um, aren't those the things that make sandwiches?

 

 

 

 

62662.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

inb4Poe'sLawstrikes

Guest airdance

Guest airdance

Posted
Posted

Seriously Emily it would be near impossible to educate these men(boys) on what it feels like to be a woman.

Most of them are here because they are fed up with women are are too shy to approach us.

 

We are a species onto ourselves with different thought patterns and methods of accomplishing things.

We love deeper, hate venomously, and often see the softer side of things.

 

A good idea for a man is an honest evaluation of what you want out of a partner and if you are also a good match with what you are looking for.

Women need to do the same thing, look at yourself, and make sure what you are chasing is really what you need.(or want)

 

A real woman values a real man.

She appreciates and respects the value and worth of the man in her life.  She knows that part of being a great woman is recognizing and embracing the qualities of a great man.  She does not need a man in her life to be happy, but if she has one, she stands by him.  She believes in his purpose and who he is – which makes going in the same direction with him that much easier.

 

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