why do some people find it harder to make friends

[Kamen Rider Kuuga]

Because I'm a misanthrope that has massive trust issues. Also, people have this strange need to have things sugar coated and cannot seem to handle somebody being blunt about opinions and truth.

[Thulas]

It's rather interesting that it seems that mainly introverted people can be found here on LL. Either that, or the extroverted don't show up in this thread and ruin the observation by false information.

Anyway, this probably can be seen in various others forums as well; not special, but still interesting.

[AKM]

It's rather interesting that it seems that mainly introverted people can be found here on LL. Either that, or the extroverted don't show up in this thread and ruin the observation by false information.

Anyway, this probably can be seen in various others forums as well; not special, but still interesting.

 

Certain amount of truth in that.  I'm guessing the extroverts are out extroverting, sharing ideas in person instead of on a forum.

[kingkong]

if i can reply to Thulas and AKM    i do not think so but i can talk only for my self i am an exroverted  and i make easy contact as i do not care and not judge people ( or trying ).    but it is not false as because i have more time to think from the day i started to clean my friends (in my exemple it is one year (more than one ) i am planing a change a "complete change"  'started with the girlfriend than friends and now it is comming for the job (had my revenge on it) a comprimize with the big boss (yes !), i have already found a new location and at last living a new life new contacts new air).

 

than for time of being i guess i am introverted (but for nearly six months more), after i guess my nature will come back again to myself just in new envirement.

[Thulas]

One example doesn't change the hole social structure much; there are facts missing here, we can't do more than making wild theories without them. Sounds like a poll would come in handy here.

But that's not even the question anyway.

[Emily]

personality contrast. Nuff Said.

 

Those who stay at home doesn't get much real social than those who get their driving license published in haste and early.

[RezTheFatal]

I attend a university that has a reputation for being a party school and that’s how a majority of my classmates spend their free time. Unfortunately I have a nervous disorder that makes being in large crowds very uncomfortable for me, and as a result my social circle tends to be a bit more limited than others. I would always advise people not to ostracize those who have difficulty making friends as it may not entirely be their fault.

[Erinaea]

I can only speak for myself, since people are a grab bag of personality attributes..

 

It's mostly due to the fact that I am extremely introverted, most people in my age bracket don't seem to enjoy the same things I do and because, honestly, I dislike most people. 

[Guest]

Something I had just considered, but I think eventually, thanks to technology we might start seeing a blurring of the lines between introversion and extroversion. If you post on a forum regularly, more likely than not in communication with someone else, that is just as much social contact as say going to a bar or other social event . I might not hang out with my friends all the time, but we do play video games together regularly and chat over VOIP most of the time, but most people wouldn't consider that "real" social contact. Then again, most people are stupid idiots. Does that make me an introvert because I choose not to go to bars for my social interaction all the time? No, because I make just as much contact here, if not more, as I would at that bar. The "standards" we currently have for such labels are still in an older school of thought, but in time I think it might change.

[GECK.O]

And also, why do some people seem to have fewer friends?

 

That because they are not so mainstream...

[Emily]

Actually it's easy to get a friend.

 

Let us all here go to a club and then everyone get naked and we mingle.

 

You will be surprise how easy it is to be friends when we all naked and be an open minded and tolerant to each other.

[Guest]

I think that could work. Can't hide behind status symbols and judge someone as much when you're both butt naked. Though finding a way to keep hold of my car keys would be awkward.

 

 

 

 

 

[Xxantoss]

I'm a bit eccentric so people generally think I'm crazy. And when you enjoy controversial discussions to try and make people question their own beliefs and not be so stubborn in their ways you can cause a bit of conflict. So I typically avoid people in order to not put myself in awkward situations.

[Emily]

Xxantos. Emily think We both will get along just fine.

[woodenstick]

Because I'm SHY. It's cursed me my entire life, new people are terrifying to me. In truth, there's probably nothing I want more than some really good friends that you spend entire weeks with, share shit with with whether it be a belonging or personal secret (wait bros don't do that) go on vacations with or something. But I just had to be fucking shy... SPARE ME YOUR PITY!      (cries while cutting himself in a corner). Okay so I'm not that lonely yet, though I could use some more friends 

[kingkong]

just some thoughts concerning this matter.

    people that have alot of freinds generaly do not expect anything from the others at frist look just have a good moment and more if they get along by making better relationship with trust that comes with time and finnaly being best freinds(generaly they are few).

 

   people that have few freinds or none   expect a lot of others (they are more closed mind that they think).  They do not dare or they are shy  nobody realy cares it is a wrong point   stop thinking to much (if, if, if , and if)  stop looking for a perfect freind   be more tolerant accept others how they look, think and often they will surprise you.  Just think at a present time and try to have a good moment (you do not need to have the same hobby, knowlege, or way of thinking to appreciat somebody else).

[Guest]

Perhaps the more you worry about it, the less likely it is to happen? I mean the more anxious, concerned or even depressed you seem to others the less likely you are to make any kind of substantial social relationship. Just a thought. =)

[psammeticus]

There's a bit of a conundrum here (for me). I could just be an old crotchety jackass, but should it not be seen as intro versus extro, but rather as "levels" of friendship? I have few very close friends (that know where the bodies are buried), but I have a lot of folks who are considered friends for normal social interaction. And then there's always the folks forced upon you during exceptional circumstances. And the folks at the VFW. Or maybe the grapes have gone to my head.

 

I have always been a crazy introvert, but my career choices have led me to a life that requires an extreme amount of public speaking and interaction.

 

True friends are hard to come by, but they are worth it. I've learned (the hard way) that you shouldn't burn a bridge until its full usefulness has been expended. That sounded harsh.

 

Friendly sociability is the best way to meet people. Small talk is a lost art in the world of the internets. 

[Gryphes]

why I have less friends?

 

1. I am a guy and i found girls tend to have more friends

2. I am 24 and it's hard to find friends around my age cause now most of them are spend with their loved one

I actually don't mind to have friends in any age but people do mind. most of them time I found 15 years old people and they said I am too old to be their friends, and I also found 30+ friends and they said I am too young. -__-

 

3. I am not very socially active and I am not prefer to talk about garbage like justice bibber or a tit of a random woman. I am mostly into rational and open minded

discussions and most of people don't find it attractive.

4. I am an asian and I look like an indian and there are a lot of racists so it's hard to find forigen friends.

5. I found most of women expects if she has a guy friend then to keep her happy but she doesn't care to keep the guy happy.

I had a lot of female friends and I found everyone wanted me to keep them happy rather without trying to keep each other happy.

I am not talking about sex. I am not a typical guy so no one can make me happy with sex. I am into very deep emotional relationships.

they could at least make jokes ,compliment ,say something positive, care about, write big letters.

but it is so hard to expect these trait from a female friend

and most of male friends in other hand. very open but it's hard to get along with them very closely.

 

 

[StayFrosty]

why I have less friends?

 

1. I am a guy and i found girls tend to have more friends

2. I am 24 and it's hard to find friends around my age cause now most of them are spend with their loved one

I actually don't mind to have friends in any age but people do mind. most of them time I found 15 years old people and they said I am too old to be their friends, and I also found 30+ friends and they said I am too young. -__-

 

3. I am not very socially active and I am not prefer to talk about garbage like justice bibber or a tit of a random woman. I am mostly into rational and open minded

discussions and most of people don't find it attractive.

4. I am an asian and I look like an indian and there are a lot of racists so it's hard to find forigen friends.

5. I found most of women expects if she has a guy friend then to keep her happy but she doesn't care to keep the guy happy.

I had a lot of female friends and I found everyone wanted me to keep them happy rather without trying to keep each other happy.

I am not talking about sex. I am not a typical guy so no one can make me happy with sex. I am into very deep emotional relationships.

they could at least make jokes ,compliment ,say something positive, care about, write big letters.

but it is so hard to expect these trait from a female friend

and most of male friends in other hand. very open but it's hard to get along with them very closely.

 

It is difficult socially if your interests or perceptions tend not to fit into the 'norm'....most people look at me cross eyed with a 'Huh?' look on their faces if I bring up my interests.... ...and I really can't do small talk or gossip....How's the Weather? Which Hollywood star is sleeping with who?...etc...I difficulty even feigning interest.

 

I am an older female with very, very few friends...though the few friends I do have are high quality friends, good people...And most Men don't write big letters either.... ...I am a writer and have been known to write massive letters, most men are unable to keep up with the sheer size unless their writers themselves....by 'Writer' I mean natural inclination towards writing.

 

[Gryphes]

 

why I have less friends?

 

1. I am a guy and i found girls tend to have more friends

2. I am 24 and it's hard to find friends around my age cause now most of them are spend with their loved one

I actually don't mind to have friends in any age but people do mind. most of them time I found 15 years old people and they said I am too old to be their friends, and I also found 30+ friends and they said I am too young. -__-

 

3. I am not very socially active and I am not prefer to talk about garbage like justice bibber or a tit of a random woman. I am mostly into rational and open minded

discussions and most of people don't find it attractive.

4. I am an asian and I look like an indian and there are a lot of racists so it's hard to find forigen friends.

5. I found most of women expects if she has a guy friend then to keep her happy but she doesn't care to keep the guy happy.

I had a lot of female friends and I found everyone wanted me to keep them happy rather without trying to keep each other happy.

I am not talking about sex. I am not a typical guy so no one can make me happy with sex. I am into very deep emotional relationships.

they could at least make jokes ,compliment ,say something positive, care about, write big letters.

but it is so hard to expect these trait from a female friend

and most of male friends in other hand. very open but it's hard to get along with them very closely.

 

It is difficult socially if your interests or perceptions tend not to fit into the 'norm'....most people look at me cross eyed with a 'Huh?' look on their faces if I bring up my interests.... ...and I really can't do small talk or gossip....How's the Weather? Which Hollywood star is sleeping with who?...etc...I difficulty even feigning interest.

 

I am an older female with very, very few friends...though the few friends I do have are high quality friends, good people...And most Men don't write big letters either.... ...I am a writer and have been known to write massive letters, most men are unable to keep up with the sheer size unless their writers themselves....by 'Writer' I mean natural inclination towards writing.

 

 

 

hmm it's a good trait but it's hard to find people like you in this society.

even though rarely I found them most of them already have enough friends and not interest to make new friends.

 

[Guest]

I have several close friends but not a lot of friends in general. When I'm not working, I would much rather stay home, play games, watch tv or something similar. Most people just don't want to hang out with a chick like that I guess.

[Emily]

I have several close friends but not a lot of friends in general. When I'm not working, I would much rather stay home, play games, watch tv or something similar. Most people just don't want to hang out with a chick like that I guess.

 

Girl are not that hard, It takes maturity in man and woman to get involved in relationship.

Just make sure you have a good cards in your hand and let her peek, once in a while.

 

....

 

God, there is never any bikini party in this neighborhood. Why can't we have a rapture already and be done with it?

[Guest]

I have several close friends but not a lot of friends in general. When I'm not working, I would much rather stay home, play games, watch tv or something similar. Most people just don't want to hang out with a chick like that I guess.

 

Well most people are idiots, because there's nothing wrong with just wanting to stay at home. The clubs play loud, terrible music while everyone is too busy dry-humping each other and going to bars can get pricy fast if you go on a regular basis. Or largely pointless if you don't even drink. Hell, I've had as much fun at home (albeit with friends) as I've had going out with my friends. I've even had times where we just sat around and chilled, doing absolutely nothing.

[Tensu_Makadi]

I think for this discussion maybe we should define what we call a friend? I have lots of friends and yet I only have one... Depends on how I choose to define friendship. I mean do we only include people we are close to know personally or do we maybe include the people you only talk to a work but still enjoy their company. Do we include the people who think of us as a friend as well or anyone we consider a friend even though they may only consider us a close acquaintance.

 

If this has already been discussed and answered then sorry about this I'm a bit tire as I should have gotten to sleep four hours ago but my insomnia is kicking in full force and even though I'm awake I'm not necessarily capable of "trained" thought process right now and didn't notice or completely forgot already.