Am I the only one that's lonely?

[Fiend71]

Agreed, since when I was married, I had to decline so often.  Now though - nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  

 

I need to move, and start over.  Be that "new, mysterious guy"...lol

 

That's kind of it though too.  Seems like when I was "forbidden fruit", I was a major object of desire.  Now it feel like I'm invisible.

[AKM]

 

On 3/31/2022 at 5:03 PM, beefers said:

I'm what's called "demi-sexual" meaning I can't engage in a romantic relationship with someone I don't feel a deep bond with

There's a term for that?  Cool, now I know what to label myself.  Woo-hoo!
 

On 3/31/2022 at 5:03 PM, beefers said:

I don't even really care about having sex, what I really crave is intimacy.

 

While culture would have you believe otherwise, I suspect that a vast majority of people, if they really took a step back and looked at how empty their lives were, they'd feel the same way.  Lots of sex does not inherently equal lots of intimacy.

On 3/31/2022 at 5:03 PM, beefers said:

I'm ready for a relationship now but don't know where to start other than the internet

That's the wrong place to be looking, I'm afraid.  I tried that stuff years ago and am only now getting answers as to why I only found what I found (not what I was looking for, for sure).  If you want any serious chance of success, you have to find someplace where people are serious about it.  I haven't the first clue where to find people who are serious either, so I can't help you there.  But then, according to the statistics, the prior statement is flat out wrong, as that is where the majority of people are meeting / dating these days, apparently.  More power to them, I suppose.

[llmods975]

On 2/16/2022 at 6:50 PM, DudyDude said:

Don't get me wrong. I like loverslab a lot. It's a great way to get the erotic mods for the games we all love, but am I the only one that doesn't have a real sex life? Porn and erotic gaming just seems like a failing attempt to solve real world love-failure and lonliness, at least for me.

 

I guess I'm asking, is anyone else here in the same boat? Lonely IRL? Lacking a significant other? Coping with it through porn? From what I read, it seems like a lot of folks in this community actually have a thriving IRL sex life. Is there anyone like me though? Bored and alone?

 

Sorry for being a downer.

 

The way I see it you can either fight with your inner monster or harness it's ass to move forward.

 

You can move forward if you want to. Think about who you could become. I heard the line "You set a goal for five years from now. Perhaps even you could manage that?"

 

IDK I internalized it. Yeah if I took one small step forwards to losing weight and being more swole, one day a time, one small step a day, perhaps even my stupid ass could manage that.

 

Step 1 is to look at yourself abstractly as if you were advising someone you care about. If I wasn't me and I was advising someone I care for, I wouldn't really want myself to be on here using up time on fake titties. I say that with full knowledge my PFP is Indy+ bodyslide screenshot. It's really wrestling with the Id. The part of you that wants the most basic shit. Want fuck now; want eat now; want shit now. Its a part of you so you can either fight it or coax it into working for you. I started jogging back at the end of January and have my stamina up to about 3 miles per run. (C25K is great; i'm not even in a runner's physic and it works)

 

I dangle the tits out in front of the id and am like "Look you horny bastard. Look at how nice these tits are. If you work with me here to get in shape we can find a hot girl with nice tits because we won't look like shit"

 

The second part is negotiating with yourself. Ask yourself what you would do to improve your situation and then bargain with the part of you that doesn't want to do fuck all about it.

Granted I'd like to move on towards using better motivation than pixel titties but you can either fight it or work with it and ween it off the worse parts of motivation.

 

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. I got a random recommended video of some dude implying he just had a threesome. Made me feel weird as shit but then I'm not comparing myself to him. I ask myself (step 1) "If we were like this; if weused women like this, who would that make us? Would we really want to associate with ourselves? Would we want our female relatives we give a shit about to go out with someone who behaved like that? Would we want our son to be like that? Don't give a fuck about what he does. Move forward for yourself. We've done better than we did yesterday and we'll move towards who we want to be.

 

Take it one step at a time and keep moving forward.

 

Take inspiration where you can find it. I have a tiny Eren Jeager in my head telling me to get the fuck over my shit and keep moving forward.

 

Idk man this a porn website too. Trying to quit this at some point myself. Maybe this'll help someone else?

[llmods975]

Also this music motivates the shit out of me for how personally symbolic it is

 

Life is going to be shit, you can't stop it from being shit at times

 

Take your pain and use it to forge the raw iron into a sword. Swords aren't strong if they're not beaten

 

Make your pain mean something. Use it to fire your motivation.

 

Life could suck less, it's possible so work on it.

 

Take it one step at a time and keep moving forward.

 

 

 

[Gloubiuui]

Hi there, I'm alone since last year and a half, after I shared my life with a girl for six years. I've never been that close to somebody, but someday, it happened that she realized she didn't like dudes anymore, and learned herself to be non binary, somewhat figuring out herself.

 

We both felt sorry about the overall situation, and we have been trough a lot of shit together during the time we spent as a couple, we were very close being  both of us autistic tdah weirdos not feeling comfortable with their conventional way of living (basically:get maried-buying a house-having three kids-stick together for the sake of ''doing things well in front of your famillies/friends/gods/society'' even if love is long gone, leading to alcoolism, hate, and messed up ppl lying to themselves and others)

 

Well, it was a bit harsh, especially the fact that we still had to live together for financial reasons, but at the end, we managed to remain friends, and she finally could afford to rent a house since last month.

 

It feels strange to suddenly find yourself on an empty house, that's for sure. Well, be it, then! In moments like this, first thing to do is not getting drunk too much since it won't help the brain. Then, focus on the things you used to like and couldn't easily practice anymore while in couple. I for myself, grab the guitar and re-joined my former band I gave up five years ago. I felt shitty, but guess what, the old buddies weren't mad at all, they knew I had reasons, so we drank a beer and started to joke, it soon felt like I never left.

 

I had a few unlucky relations in my life, sometimes that led me to stay alone for as long as six years, but then I started to look at myself, not trying to be who I am not, being less of a needy angry childish dude that considered 'women' somewhat like disney princesses. It was like I finally figured out that being acceptive towards myself led me to be more on the constructive and positive way of doing things, less pressure, less expectations towards others...  I'm not your usual good looking playboy, but more on the long thin dude shape, but guess what, the simple fact that I looked and felt less depressed/sad/angry, pretty suddenly led to relationships.

 

Now, I'm back to start, but I'm older, I have more experience, and I know what I want and don't want, I better know myself, and I know everybody can change. I think one should not fall for that reflex of quickly finding somebody like it's an emergency. Where I live now, a cluster of small to mid-sized town near industrial activities, most people of my age are looking for somebody to be a decent husband/wife to quickly make kids because you're the last of the team not done yet. Well, that's not what I am looking for.

 

My point is, don't despair. Don't hate people based on sad things you experienced, like hating 'women', 'men', whatever. Find yourself, if it happens that you are not the usual 'good looking alpha winner', don't hate yourself. You may not be a magnet, but being honnest is surprisingly attractive, just find activities you like, without thinking who you're going to fuck with, just enjoy, talk to people, you'll find some acceptive and very fun, then you are going to do other activities, and so on... Keep it simple. Don't care too much about what people may think. We tend to see ''us against the whole pack'', whereas we all are individuals struggling in existence, and craving for honnest relations, them being either friendship, sex, love or whatever mix in between.

 

 

[Guest]

On 2/16/2022 at 3:50 PM, DudyDude said:

Don't get me wrong. I like loverslab a lot. It's a great way to get the erotic mods for the games we all love, but am I the only one that doesn't have a real sex life? Porn and erotic gaming just seems like a failing attempt to solve real world love-failure and lonliness, at least for me.

 

I guess I'm asking, is anyone else here in the same boat? Lonely IRL? Lacking a significant other? Coping with it through porn? From what I read, it seems like a lot of folks in this community actually have a thriving IRL sex life. Is there anyone like me though? Bored and alone?

 

Sorry for being a downer.

Don't be.

I am married but have deep problems with my wife. And i am lonely myself.

My life is really fucked up and not even porn will help me. All it does is, that i am getting sad.

I am in therapy now and have to make some life choices that are really hard. I am not free yet and it will take me awhile.

At the moment i have no sex life. But i know others struggle as well. So i am not the only one on this earth that has problems.

Your loneliness is different than mine but in the end we are lonely and long for being complete. I still have problems to accept it and since i am older now, its harder.

All i can say is, do not be hopeless. You will find someone but you cant force it. Everything needs time and to find the right partner is a challenge in it self. I know i chose the wrong one.

[blackcor]

On 2/16/2022 at 3:50 PM, DudyDude said:

Don't get me wrong. I like loverslab a lot. It's a great way to get the erotic mods for the games we all love, but am I the only one that doesn't have a real sex life? Porn and erotic gaming just seems like a failing attempt to solve real world love-failure and lonliness, at least for me.

 

I guess I'm asking, is anyone else here in the same boat? Lonely IRL? Lacking a significant other? Coping with it through porn? From what I read, it seems like a lot of folks in this community actually have a thriving IRL sex life. Is there anyone like me though? Bored and alone?

 

Sorry for being a downer.

Being honest im in the same boat i never hd sex irl maybe some partners online to had sex call but only that nothing irl