I must admit I'm having a bit of hard time following the story. Was there a prequel we *must* have read to keep up?

Being used to you making every pic exceptional, I thought, at first, that the prequel was a bit dark....

Then I looked again, and found a different side of your art shining through, albeit more subtle,

Yes it was dark, but certain things popped out at me.

The reflection of light in the eyes, glinting off the sweat in the scar, the chainmail, and of course the earing.

Just a pleasure to view!

I'm becoming a fast fan!

If I had one complaint about the sex scene, it was that you used the wrong girl.

I would have loved to see Iya in some lewds, but just because I'm a pervert and I think she's way hotter ?

I realize that wouldn't work for the story ?

Keep up the good work!

On 12/22/2018 at 11:44 PM, WANOBI12 said:

Being used to you making every pic exceptional, I thought, at first, that the prequel was a bit dark....

Then I looked again, and found a different side of your art shining through, albeit more subtle,

Yes it was dark, but certain things popped out at me.

The reflection of light in the eyes, glinting off the sweat in the scar, the chainmail, and of course the earing.

Just a pleasure to view!

I'm becoming a fast fan!

 

If I had one complaint about the sex scene, it was that you used the wrong girl.

I would have loved to see Iya in some lewds, but just because I'm a pervert and I think she's way hotter ?

I realize that wouldn't work for the story ?

Keep up the good work!

It is a bit dark, I was worried about that too. But I also liked it, so I'm glad you did too. I couldn't brighten it without it losing some of it's appeal. I appreciate the kind words though, and I'm glad you like Iya... I think I did a good job with her.

On 12/21/2018 at 12:30 PM, Rattlesnark said:

I must admit I'm having a bit of hard time following the story. Was there a prequel we *must* have read to keep up?

If I had one criticism for myself, it would be that the story is a little hard to follow in some ways. But there are two other parts you might have missed? If not, message me and I can help clarify things.

I'll go for the same observation than Rattlesnark and Wanobi, the entry is nicely done technically, shots are colorful and sometimes quite creative. However, in my opinion revealing information bit by bit is good, but there is a bit too much of it concealed for the narration to be fluid. For example, in part I some of us my not have caught that Dena is supposed to be "the bearer" of Riverwood, they don't know if that role is supposed to be some kind of ownership or commanding post, they also do not know if it is linked in Falk saying Iya being their queen or not. It's only after seeing part II, we can start suspecting the altmer d somehow sold Dena out in fact.

So narrative ellipses are good, but only as long as there are enough hints to allow readers to catch-on what's been skipped, IMO.

That being said, it's still quality work overall.

12 hours ago, Tirloque said:

I'll go for the same observation than Rattlesnark and Wanobi, the entry is nicely done technically, shots are colorful and sometimes quite creative. However, in my opinion revealing information bit by bit is good, but there is a bit too much of it concealed for the narration to be fluid. For example, in part I some of us my not have caught that Dena is supposed to be "the bearer" of Riverwood, they don't know if that role is supposed to be some kind of ownership or commanding post, they also do not know if it is linked in Falk saying Iya being their queen or not. It's only after seeing part II, we can start suspecting the altmer d somehow sold Dena out in fact.

 

So narrative ellipses are good, but only as long as there are enough hints to allow readers to catch-on what's been skipped, IMO.

That being said, it's still quality work overall.

Thanks, this is really valuable. Both the nice words and the criticism.

I think I definitely had a few too many twists for the reader, and it was hard for me to put myself in the shoes of someone who was new to the story. I certainly needed a little more information revealing and exposition. I'll keep it in mind in the future.