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Chapter Ten


renferal

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Her bonds freed and her mind made up, Sirrae joins forces with the weakened Imperial Soldiers in a last ditch desperate attempt to both turn the tide, and capture her previous owner.

 

Spoiler

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Edited by renferal

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Very nicely done. Have difficult reading thou words that were "shaded". Blue letters like it is on the 5th picture from the bottom to the top are OK. Not complaining, just saying. :)

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Ah that was a very definitive end.
I like her new hairstyle a lot, and her manic expression was wonderfully done.
I think I'm far past being able to predict where this story goes. I'm expecting longer and slower arcs and I keep being surprised by how dramatic and how energetic things end up being. I think I like being surprised and I've generally enjoyed all of the dramatic shifts in events.

What I'd expect to be a minor event is leveraged to far grander effect than I'd have thought, and events that seem to commit Sirrae to a predictable course never end up being predictable at all. There's an uneasiness of not knowing what'll happen next, but it's worth the reveal.

 

So I'll be looking forward to part 2. I must admit that with the breadth of the experience Sirrae has suffered through it seems like not much might seem like a meaningful new event. But I'm sure you can keep up the surprises.

It's probably become clear at some point in the course of commenting on your chapters, and I outright state it here but I yearn for things to be a little slower.
I'm not saying you should change anything, as what you have done has been pretty good; but if you proceed with part 2: Giving Sirrae a little more time to communicate her feelings to the audience sounds like it'd be a bit nice. As a reader it seems as though I get a bit left behind sometimes. Like I didn't expect Sirrae to be uh... that extreme with her former master. I did like it. I just wouldn't have predicted it. I think you can still maintain a surprise while communicating a little more of Sirrae's decision-making process. Just judging or assessing other characters so Sirrae's thoughts towards them for whatever is to come are properly framed.

Still, her peculiar mental state sounds incredibly interesting moving forward. Changed by her experiences despite her moral core remaining strong. I can see a lot of possibilities. I'm gonna toss out examples that come to mind because as ever I'm left with a lot of ideas after reading your stuff.
Perhaps her perspective on men is just completely fucked at this point and she very much overvalues their sex drive as what motivates them.
Maybe she offers the two soldiers that accompanied her both blowjobs, her decision to do so part to legitimately reward their stormcloak-killing service, partly because she's generally horny and partly out of some twisted-suspicion of men that if she doesn't offer herself from a position of control she just anticipates being raped at this point.
Or perhaps Sirrae will keep a collar and wear it while frequently masturbating, her body too trained in depravity for her to forget it.
Maybe as some sort of anti-slaving avenger she'll wear a chastity-belt to protect herself, only to end up manipulated by whoever sold it to her, giving her a fake key.
And in terms of going through terrible events, there's still the standout absence of a woman being the source of Sirrae's suffering.

Whatever happens, looking forward to it.

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On 6/4/2021 at 1:32 AM, EvalovesEP said:

Very nicely done. Have difficult reading thou words that were "shaded". Blue letters like it is on the 5th picture from the bottom to the top are OK. Not complaining, just saying. :)


Yeah, In retrospect I really hate the color choices for their voices.

 

On 6/5/2021 at 1:03 PM, malvic said:

Ah that was a very definitive end.
I like her new hairstyle a lot, and her manic expression was wonderfully done.
I think I'm far past being able to predict where this story goes. I'm expecting longer and slower arcs and I keep being surprised by how dramatic and how energetic things end up being. I think I like being surprised and I've generally enjoyed all of the dramatic shifts in events.

What I'd expect to be a minor event is leveraged to far grander effect than I'd have thought, and events that seem to commit Sirrae to a predictable course never end up being predictable at all. There's an uneasiness of not knowing what'll happen next, but it's worth the reveal.

 

So I'll be looking forward to part 2. I must admit that with the breadth of the experience Sirrae has suffered through it seems like not much might seem like a meaningful new event. But I'm sure you can keep up the surprises.

It's probably become clear at some point in the course of commenting on your chapters, and I outright state it here but I yearn for things to be a little slower.
I'm not saying you should change anything, as what you have done has been pretty good; but if you proceed with part 2: Giving Sirrae a little more time to communicate her feelings to the audience sounds like it'd be a bit nice. As a reader it seems as though I get a bit left behind sometimes. Like I didn't expect Sirrae to be uh... that extreme with her former master. I did like it. I just wouldn't have predicted it. I think you can still maintain a surprise while communicating a little more of Sirrae's decision-making process. Just judging or assessing other characters so Sirrae's thoughts towards them for whatever is to come are properly framed.

Still, her peculiar mental state sounds incredibly interesting moving forward. Changed by her experiences despite her moral core remaining strong. I can see a lot of possibilities. I'm gonna toss out examples that come to mind because as ever I'm left with a lot of ideas after reading your stuff.
Perhaps her perspective on men is just completely fucked at this point and she very much overvalues their sex drive as what motivates them.
Maybe she offers the two soldiers that accompanied her both blowjobs, her decision to do so part to legitimately reward their stormcloak-killing service, partly because she's generally horny and partly out of some twisted-suspicion of men that if she doesn't offer herself from a position of control she just anticipates being raped at this point.
Or perhaps Sirrae will keep a collar and wear it while frequently masturbating, her body too trained in depravity for her to forget it.
Maybe as some sort of anti-slaving avenger she'll wear a chastity-belt to protect herself, only to end up manipulated by whoever sold it to her, giving her a fake key.
And in terms of going through terrible events, there's still the standout absence of a woman being the source of Sirrae's suffering.

Whatever happens, looking forward to it.


Glad you're enjoying the twists and turns of this dark tale!

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