That's an interesting setup that you've got there, Kaimiya, with a male protagonist, and a custom setting and background. So far this is rather immersive, and the integration of the dialogues as comic bubbles is an attention which eases the read. Three details come to mind regarding the execution, though :

• First, the reading order isn't the usual one for an occidental comic : it should be from top to bottom, left to right (roughly). In other words, a bubble placed at the top left will be read before one placed at the top right.
• Second, you can fit several images into a same spoiler. Those are used to ease the access/scrolling to the different parts of the entry. One by scene could be a good start.
• Last, it adds to the immersion to open the lips of your characters as they are speaking. You'll achieve this with mods such as MFG.

Anyway, nice setting Hoping to see you develop your story's plot in further entries. ?

6 hours ago, Tirloque said:

That's an interesting setup that you've got there, Kaimiya, with a male protagonist, and a custom setting and background. So far this is rather immersive, and the integration of the dialogues as comic bubbles is an attention which eases the read. Three details come to mind regarding the execution, though :

• First, the reading order isn't the usual one for an occidental comic : it should be from top to bottom, left to right (roughly). In other words, a bubble placed at the top left will be read before one placed at the top right.
• Second, you can fit several images into a same spoiler. Those are used to ease the access/scrolling to the different parts of the entry. One by scene could be a good start.
• Last, it adds to the immersion to open the lips of your characters as they are speaking. You'll achieve this with mods such as MFG.

 

Anyway, nice setting Hoping to see you develop your story's plot in further entries. ?

Thanks so much. I'm using opparco mfg, but I'm thinking of switching to MfgFix, I see people recommending it. I haven't read comics in a while, I was a little confused about the bubbles issue, I saw an example very briefly, but it didn't look so good.

Hey this is a great starting entry!  Great job!
 

I agree with Tirloque with the bubble chat order, especially with pictures #4, 9, and 11.

I personally try my best keep chat bubbles in order by height  even if they are from two different panels opposite from each other so the left to right thing won’t be an issue. 
 

I also think picture #11 should be two separate pictures. What you can a.ways do is take one shot, and taken another shot of the exact same poses and setup but at a different angle. Not only does it give variety and movement to your conversation but also declutters your nice screenshot from too many chat bubbles.

19 hours ago, devious-Drunna said:

Hey this is a great starting entry!  Great job!
 

I agree with Tirloque with the bubble chat order, especially with pictures #4, 9, and 11.

I personally try my best keep chat bubbles in order by height  even if they are from two different panels opposite from each other so the left to right thing won’t be an issue. 
 

I also think picture #11 should be two separate pictures. What you can a.ways do is take one shot, and taken another shot of the exact same poses and setup but at a different angle. Not only does it give variety and movement to your conversation but also declutters your nice screenshot from too many chat bubbles.

Thank you. I'm reshaping all the bubbles and correcting their positions, I didn't really maintain the position of the bubbles correctly, I followed it randomly, but it didn't look very good, unfortunately. I will do the separation of images in the same image, it is a very good idea, for sure. Thanks for the suggestion, I will do that for sure.