Write your letter to god

[Guest Lady Luck]

if jesus christ has email what is the first thing you will say to him.

[Ark of Truth]

Please give me the strength so I don't kill half the idiots on this site.

[Guest Lady Luck]

lol awosome XD , if i me

 

Dear god please leave me alone XD

[Kamen Rider Kuuga]

Hey Jesus, a few things I want to know;

 

1) Being a Jew, how do you feel about your "followers" persecuting your own kin for thousands of years?

 

2) You know they're spending 177 million USD on restoring a cathedral, right? Why don't you tell your followers to spend that on, I don't know, helping the poor and needy instead of fixing up a building?

 

3) Are we really supposed to buy all this on blind faith? Can't you just appear in the skies of all the world and put this nonsense to rest once and for all? And don't give me that free will nonsense; if you truly exist and through you is the only way to Heaven, you're condemning the vast majority of humanity to Hell because you somehow hope that everybody will buy it on blind faith and a book that's been proven wrong about damn near everything time and again. That's not cool, man.

 

4) Once and for all; the true stance on homosexuals.

 

5) Can I have the next big Powerball? Or is that something I gotta go through Lucifer for?

 

6) Flat Earthers; can't you just send them to the Moon or something?

 

7) Do those Commie ghosts truly know that they're not dead?

 

8) Can I have 3 wishes? And if so, I wish for a bottomless cup of Mountain Dew White Out. The others will be said if I get the first wish. And if not, please direct me to the nearest genie so I can make my wishes.

 

Keep being meek and all that.

[deathparade]

Hey jesus... why is your father such a murdering uncaring asshole to his own children?

[Mailamea]

Dear god, please spawn a new gfx card in my doorstep. Oh and a top notched one

 

Thanks XOXO

[deathparade]

Dear god' date=' please spawn a new gfx card in my doorstep. Oh and a top notched one

 

Thanks XOXO

[/quote']

 

More like: Dear jesus can you give me a new motherboard with a 8 core procesor top notch the best GFX around and maybe a new casing i have beaten mine to half scrap!

[Guest Lady Luck]

wow so many letters lol

[Kashiwaba Tomoe]

Dear god: You suck ass.

[GrimReaperCalls]

I'd ask him why I haven't already been struck and killed by lightning, considering all the supposed "sins" I've committed 8D. I'd then accuse him of having bad aim .

 

Which reminds me...

 

A regular man and a priest were out golfing together. At the first hole the man missed by quite a bit and in frustration he exclaimed: "Fuck it, I missed!".

The priest told the man: "Calm yourself, god does not encourage cursing.".

They continued for a while, and again, the man shot the golf ball way off course and once again exclaimed: "Fuck it, I missed!".

The priest once again told him: "You seriously should watch your tongue, god really does not appreciate all your swearing".

 

The third time the man missed he got so furious he screamed "Bloody fucking hell, I fucking missed again!"

Before anyone could react, lighting suddenly struck the priest and killed him instantly. From above came a booming voice:

"Fucking hell, I missed!".

[Guest GingerTom]

Dear God:

 

Thank you.

[Guest Kate the Bionic Uterus]

Dear God; can you please make them into a C cup? Cheers -Kate-

[Guest]

My questions would be very similar to these.

[Nonsense667]

[video=youtube]

[Chbaakal]

Dear Almighty One,

 

I would like $5,000,000 in unmarked, untraceable bills to this address, a private jet waiting at the airport (I'll confirm the destination once onboard) with only an unregistered cellphone contact available for the pilot. Provide 3 very attractive stewardesses (a blonde, brunette, and redhead) in schoolgirl outfits, and enough supplies, food and clothing for 7 weeks survival (think both Tropical and Cold-Weather climates).

 

Oh and PS: Do not contact any authorities, or try anything suspicious. I have your son. If you don't want your believers to have to wait another 2000+ years for the Third Coming, I suggest you comply.

 

PSS: Throw in a better, younger body, and I'll create the New Zion Pleasure Palace in your name, repent, and pray to you every time I sex up one of the female acolytes.

[Guest Lady Luck]

Dear god

 

today your testing me on various bullshit temptation , you know what i killed that by watching porn , you tempt me with sexy chicks staring at me when i walk on Starbucks that day but i ignored them simply i don't want to get owned by them and be a laughing stock because your ways are too predictable.

 

and other things you make people hate me , you know what you failed, because i know you want me to realized something or payback.

 

god i know u didn't like for fuck suck leave the hell alone dood what wrong with you lmao.

[The DarkSlayer]

My questions would be very similar to these.

Nice one LOL!

 

Dear god: You suck ass.

^THIS

[Guest Lady Luck]

dear mad god

your epic

 

and jesus

you suck XD

[Guest Bacon]

Dear god.

 

Give back my perfect eyesight you asshole!

[Guest Lady Luck]

granted lol

[Mailamea]

Dear god, grant me teleportation abilities.

 

P.S. those that doesn't have side effects

[Ark of Truth]

Dear God,

 

Please give me the strength to control the weather

 

p.s and the person above their wish.

[deathparade]

Dear god, Gimmie a invisibility device with unlimited charge!

 

You know so i can sneak into the girls bathroom and such!

 

We know you want this too we all know you're a pervert!

 

PS: This one above me please limit the heat in holland!

[Jerbsinator]

Honestly, I would probably say "Thanks for everything you have given me."

 

Ya, I'm one of THOSE people. Grab the pitchforks!

[deathparade]

Dear god,

 

i have no pitchfork could you give me one there is a event coming up involving a big boob lover!