Office Tools vs. Real Weapons

[Green Tryst]

I play with a knife at work, flicking it open and shut as I read through the wildly titillating topics in HR-related compliance.  As of now, here is the score of me hurting myself with knife, versus me hurting myself with office supplies:

 

Real Weapons - 0

Some weird circular cutting tool that allows you to attach business cards to fliers - 1 (fucking ow to the index finger, don't hold it like a scalpel)

Manilla Envelopes - 2 (and it looks bad, too!!!)

[Gameplayer]

Yes well you should diffinately not be allowed in the Copy Room, the shear amount of blood loss from paper cuts would surely do you in.

[nIn nIn nIn]

Paper cuts are the worst, hurt more and for longer than wacking your thumb with a hammer (I did that yesterday).

[darkconsole]

people shot: 0

fingers caught in vacuum cleaner: 1

[Millicent Bystander]

loss of life in the last 5 years from violence:0

loss of life in the last 5 years from machinery:2

[Chbaakal]

Metal file cabinets, drawers opened up at various heights. One woman actually needed stitches in her kneecap.

Paper cutter. Two fingertips nipped off in 8 years. You can take the swingarm apart for a pretty good weapon.

 

My 'office' (Production): Corrugated paper (cardboard) can be extremely sharp, too. Especially if its Doublewall (two-ply corrugated). 81# DW sheets are almost as heavy as plywood, and some cuts have required stitches.

 

Along with 14 machines all ready to fold, spindle, and mutilate you in seconds. Loss of life so far after 23 years: 0 (one person had his arm cut off, but death was from surgical complications a year later). Incidents with severe limb damage, including fingers: 26.

 

The last: A guy once cut his eyelid severely, requiring 3 stitches. The weapon? An unopened can of Mountain Dew exploding from being heated. The idiot put it on a motor housing during machine operation, within arm's reach at almost head height. The sign staring him in the face: WARNING! DO NOT PLACE OBJECTS ON THIS COVER. EXTREME HEAT POSSIBLE.