You know you are playing too much Elder Scrolls if......

[AlSidre]

• You are franticly tapping on the map wondering why you can no longer fast travel
• You sneak into other peoples garden in order to collect plant so you can make potions.
• You look at the world around you wondering at the improved texture and the lack of crashes.
• You are wondering why the usual methods of sweet talk, arguing, threatening and bribing no longer works and you end up having to pay the full price no matter how much you try to apply your persuasion skills.
• You show surprise that people do not adhere to fixed topics during conversation.

 

 

[kingkong]

my only advice is when you have this buggy thing      is to sit on your favorit chair in front of your favorit screen and switch off / on the computer and click on obse.exe and you load a save game   and normaly every thing is fixed  and back to normallity

[ToxicKetchup]

-You consume toxic plants and inedible materials to see what effects they have on your health.

 

-You steal everything that isn't nailed down.

 

-You sprint literally everywhere.

 

[Pixie-K]

...If you try to single-handedly take on a gang of bandits, only to get stabbed numerous times. As you lay dying in the street, your last thoughts are It's fine, I'll just reload my last save. The police report indicates your stomach was full of blue flowers and dragonflies.

[myuhinny]

-You try to rotate someones screenshot to try to get a look at the back.

[WiCloud]

You shout at people standing near high edges/cliffs.

 

You attempt to cut the toe off a very tall person.

 

You ask random kids to play tag/hide n' go seek with them.

 

You ask a guy with a instrument to play "The Dragonborn Comes" But he claims he doesn't know it so you steal all his "gold"

 

You try to level up sneak in public areas with lots of people around.

 

You claim Lydia is your housecarl but complain she never follows you or stays at your house.

 

You can't seem to level up your destruction after setting random wildlife on fire.

 

You discover a new way to level up your one-handed skill without fighting.

 

 

 

 

 

[Ghost]

Sorry, but I have to laugh so hard

[Rokabur]

You shout at people standing near high edges/cliffs.

 

You attempt to cut the toe off a very tall person.

 

You ask random kids to play tag/hide n' go seek with them.

 

You ask a guy with a instrument to play "The Dragonborn Comes" But he claims he doesn't know it so you steal all his "gold"

 

You try to level up sneak in public areas with lots of people around.

 

You claim Lydia is your housecarl but complain she never follows you or stays at your house.

 

You can't seem to level up your destruction after setting random wildlife on fire.

 

You discover a new way to level up your one-handed skill without fighting.

 

Those last two were awesome.

[Guest Mogie56]

Your walking down the street when you hear someone say "Let me guess" knowing the rest of that line to be the annoying "someone stole your sweetroll" you instinctively spin around and punch his lights out only to find he was speaking to a street mime.

 

 

You find that starting fights in bars has no effect on your unarmed skill and wonder how the fuck they were able to swing a chair and knock you across the room. these physics suck.

 

 

You wonder why walking backward in front of a woman with big breasts watching them jiggle and sway only now gets you knocked on your ass.

 

 

You begin thinking Frodnar, Hrefna, Knud and Gralnach are appropriate names for your own children.

[Lexi SubZero]

You start placing buckets on people's heads and then you take anything that catches your eye??

[WiCloud]

You complain about going to jail after taking crops from a farm. Those are usually free!

 

You realize Bees will actually sting the shit out of you for taking their honeycomb.(seriously Bethesda?)

 

You complain about the citizens attacking you when shooting arrows at moving cars, claiming they are insidious Dwemer machines.

 

Police have you under suspicion for being a serial killer for owning a human heart, also others think of you as a psychopath for trying to mix it in with some random plants claiming you were trying to make a weapon poison.

 

Your angry because raw meats give you disease instead of restoring health. (another Bethesda spoof)

 

Your booked for Animal cruelty and Animal slaughter for killing the neighbors mean dog and skinning it while claiming It was a Wolf.

 

You desecrate a dead body at a funeral claiming it was a Draugr.

 

You stare at a wall with graffiti on it while attempting to absorb the knowledge for a new shout.  

[Rokabur]

These are all awesome guys.

[xartom]

You break into people's houses and take everything that isn't nailed down. First, you're surprised that you quickly become encumbered and that guards arrive while on your third and fourth trip back. Then you're surprised that you can't sell most of the alchemical ingredients (like gallon of milk, restores health) and clothing (some of it enchanted to reduce your personality). Lastly, you're surprised vendors can't tell that some items are flagged as stolen.

[Guest Mogie56]

1. Sexlab Arousal no longer works on anyone no matter how much you walk around naked in public, it only gets you arrested for indecent exposure.

 

2. Sexlab Matchmaker spell only gets you strange looks when trying to cast them on unsuspecting victims.

 

3. You still can't figure out how to get Lovers Victim to work no matter how aroused you are.

 

4. Your Essence of Dragon no longer works and now women just laugh at you for streaking through the market place.

You begin to think someone switched it for Essence of Troll.

[leroyjenkinz]

You sleep for 1 hour and wonder why your body and mind still aches from a long day's work. (no restore health or magicka)

 

You fail to place hundreds of items into a small cupboard.

 

You wonder why your storage furniture is still empty after not being near it for 3 days. (cell responding)

 

You send someone into a frenzy and wonder why you're being arrested / escorted away.

 

You walk up to the reception of a university / company and fail to just join their organisation.

 

You try to boast, admire, coerce and joke at people, but their disposition always drop after the first few attempts.

[gvman3670]

You shout "JOORZAHFRUL" at airplanes flying overhead and wonder why they don't land.

 

You fall off a three story building and wonder why you get broken legs instead of a skill increase in acrobatics.

 

You creep around a busy street checking what everyone has in their pockets thinking that it isn't actually a crime.

[WiCloud]

You go through a near death experience when claiming you've slain Derpy and absorbed her soul at a MLP convention.

 

You complain about the sexlab private needs being broken when getting sent to jail for shitting in front of the public.

 

You nearly choke yourself to death on a full pitcher of red Kool-Aid claiming your health was low.

 

Your always wary when removing items from podiums expecting spikes or fire to hit you.

 

You yell CHEESE FOR EVERYONE in the middle of public then stomp away angrily complaining about the mod not working.

 

You starve yourself after standing in front of the church for 24 hours to ensure your not late for your wedding.

 

You laugh in your spouses face when he/she threatens to divorce you, knowing that option is never available.

 

You think police aren't lore friendly and always seem confused when their tazer "spell" always knocks you out.

 

You slaughter chickens and complain about them not exploding.

 

You dramatized some children when mentioning Thomas the Steam Engine attempting to kill you with his fire breath.

 

You notice the Eat, Sleep, and Drink mod is active after a few days when you've not installed it yet.

 

You complain the Eat, Sleep and Drink mod has no configurations after suffering low health and stamina.

 

 

 

 

[blabba]

- You fear eating/slaying a chicken for fear of everyone in town ganging up on you.

 

- You see a sexy woman and start asking her what body replacer she uses.

 

- You think putting on different tinted sunglasses is the same as changing your 'ENB'

 

- Your amazed by how many 'bugs' you encounter.

 

- You think to yourself, SMIM has finally fixed everyhting!

 

- You wonder why is it that after you enter a building no screen comes up showing your favorite custom load screen pics.

[Lobzpooatu]

- you don't have enough money to puchase that  "hang on"  player.additem 0f 99999999

 

- try and remember screenshots for chest locations when they are all pretty much in the market place

 

- find yourself fighting mostly females just to watch bbb do its thing

 

- think of Qarl everytime you look at the ground textures

 

- change the time of day constantly just to see your awesome skills at making just the right amount of god rays

 

[Cynical Misanthrope]

All these might had been said already, but here we go:

 

You're shouting at airplanes (you however, think they are dragons, duhh) to try bring them down to the ground.

You run around and try kill cars, bikes, trucks etc etc, because according to you, they are hostile Dwemer constructions.

When it's full moon, you "think" you transform into a Werewolf, and runs around naked, hunting...

You constantly changes clothes, no matter where you stand, to see what clothes looks best atm to use.

You are running around at the cemetery looting "Draugr"

You are confused when you are at the local store, arguing with the cashier, he has no merchandise, in his inventory...

You try to sell and buy back an item several times, to try increase your speech skill (barter) The cashier prolly just look at you like you're some kind of retard thou.

Sometimes you are just tired, and don't want to walk anymore. And decide you are gonna fast travel instead. When that don't work, you look around to see whats hostile thing is preventing you from it.

You pretend you are playing as a female, and wear skimpy/slutty outfits.

 

 

[psammeticus]

I live in constant fear of a CTD.

 

It's starting to affect my workplace performance.

[Guest xthejester]

You slowly skirt parallel to any bike-paths or roads, crouched in "sneak mode" so you can get the drop on any bandits, thieves, or assassins who may be lurking in wait.

[BAB PEEG]

I am scared of opening doors, I KNOW I'm gonna CTD.

[Mord Sif]

...you find yourself standing naked in front of a mirror wondering why you can't increase your breast size by adjusting the handy weight slider.

 

(Sigh. If only...)

[LordBBW]

you try to bring up the console menu to give yourself extra gold for food when you have a severe case of the munchies