skyrim F20, I feel creepy for installing Skyrim Sex mods.

[KoolHndLuke]

On 10/11/2024 at 7:24 PM, Z0mBieP00Nani said:

a bot or something

[Miauzi]

Am 12.10.2024 um 2:24 Uhr sagte Z0mBieP00Nani:

Vorausgesetzt, es handelt sich um eine echte Person und nicht um einen Bot oder so etwas, ist daran nichts Gruseliges. Vielleicht war gruselig angesichts des Kontexts aber nicht das Wort, nach dem Sie gesucht haben? Die meisten Leute würden sagen, dass sie sich schmutzig fühlen, wenn sie in ihren Spielen Sex-Mods oder ähnliches installieren. Andere Leute finden es vielleicht gruselig, wenn sie wüssten, worauf Sie stehen, aber das ist die mögliche Meinung von jemand anderem, nicht Ihre. Jeder hat seinen eigenen Geschmack, wenn es darum geht, was ihn antörnt, und wie andere schon gesagt haben, ist es Ihre eigene Sache, was Sie privat tun, solange es nicht damit einhergeht, jemand anderen direkt oder indirekt zu schikanieren oder zu verletzen.

 

Well - 20 years ago I came out of my self-imposed shell and entered a fairly liberal latex and BDSM scene.

In addition to real encounters (regular meetings, parties, etc.) there were also a lot of "contacts" via various platforms on the Internet.

I have read a lot of texts like the one from the thread opener... sometimes a little more intensive questioning revealed that it was pure "head cinema" - in other words, his "shame" itself was just a sexual fantasy... for which he had to punish himself.

And the more he tried to have a positive effect on it - the worse the self-reproach became... because that was exactly the intention, to go into a protected "public" - in other words, the forum users were abused as agents of his "wank fantasies"!

 

Vor 13 Stunden sagte JimUpdating:

Bitte gehen Sie nicht den Weg, den ich jahrzehntelang gegangen bin. Die Notwendigkeit, mich zu verstecken und nicht einmal über meine Sexualität zu sprechen, da einige Länder, in denen ich gearbeitet habe, alles, was nicht-binär/queer ist, als illegal ansehen würden, hat mich zu lange emotional gelähmt.

 

Sprechen Sie mit dem Therapeuten oder holen Sie sich einen neuen Therapeuten, und sei es nur für eine einzelne Sitzung, mit dem Gefühl, Ihnen mitteilen zu müssen, dass Sie ein medizinisches Problem haben.

 

Sehen Sie nach, ob es in Ihrem Land einen Kink-/Bdsm-/Pride-Brunch oder ein Festival gibt. Es wird ein großer Schritt sein, aber Sie werden vielleicht einige wunderbare Menschen und Workshops und Diskussionen finden, bei denen traditionelles Zeug und Scham außen vor bleiben.

 

As I wrote above - I myself broke out of such a cage over 20 years ago... thanks to such public places.

After all, I helped to organize such a regular meeting myself.

This also included inviting people like myself and helping them with the first steps towards REAL contacts.

 

One in ten (so only 10%) actually had the intention of actually coming to such meetings in real life... the other 90% didn't want to do that from the start... they just wanted to wallow in their own "self-reproach" - and the rest of us were just something like an echo chamber.

 

And to talk about all of this with a psychotherapist is another level "higher".

 

Why am I so "negative"?

Maybe it was real experiences that made me do it... as a dominant female with a preference for "latex dolls" you are quite rare in the scene - so I was inundated with requests for real play relationships ("... please make me your latex doll and do whatever you want...").

 

what kind of meetings were arranged - I had to prepare my apartment accordingly for that... what kind of "wish lists" were sent to me.

Well - and how many actually came? -> only one person actually came to me... the fact that there was a real spark between us was the unexpected bonus - the relationship lasted over a year

 

For everyone else I was just a "jerk-off template" - with every email I answered, no matter how, I fulfilled his dreams.

 

[nunyabidnez]

@skyrimmods37, assuming you have a decent therapist, they're the one person you definitely should discuss this with.  Again, if they're remotely honest to their training, they'll be the last person to be judgemental over just about anything you would need to discuss, and frankly, in the bigger scheme of things, what you're struggling with is probably nowhere near close to the worst they've encountered.  I am in no way minimizing your issue, it's obviously bothering you a great deal and is something that should be worked out.

Human sexuality is a very funny and strange thing, one that we have shaped and altered over the millennia of our existence as we developed "cultures" and "civilization".  At it's core, human sexuality is inherently all about species propagation, and to foster that, we've developed bonding behaviors and customs to help ensure we effectively push genes into new generations.  Over time, for many cultures, those pairing and bonding behaviors have become as important, or even more important to us than the actual act of procreation.  And, we've also developed completely artificial taboos and inhibitions towards sex thanks to cultural norms and demands.

We use sex for so many things, now, beyond just procreation and establishing cultural norms.  Depending on your culture, sex can be simple expressions of affection, or total self-gratification, or a means to control others within your culture.  How we personally approach sex is totally dependent on the culture we've been indoctrinated into, our family's predisposition towards sexual behaviors, and how much we educate ourselves about sex and relationships, both with others and ourselves.  For you, I'm sure your physical limitations have already established a level of anxiety concerning sex, and your lack of experience because of that probably compounds that anxiety.  Without knowing more about your cultural background or family history, it's difficult to discuss any other possible underlying causes for your aversion towards certain sexual behaviors.  What is very important to remember is that as long as your sexual practices are not causing you harm, physical or emotional, or harming others (unless you both want and enjoy a little bit of harm, lol), there is nothing wrong with them.  I know that doesn't resolve the underlying "ick" factor for you, but if you can keep that thought in mind it may help to alleviate a some small bit of anxiety.

Also, please don't confuse the acts captured within most game NSFW mods as realistic representations of sex.  They're fantasy scenarios, brought to some small semblance of life through animation, and have very little bearing on how real sex happens, or the after effects of sex.  You're not wrong in feeling like the mods are "objectifying" you or other women, as that is literally what they do.  You have to remember that the majority of those mods are built with the younger male demographic in mind, and caters towards what people assume is how the younger male thinks and wants.  For some people, that objectification is objectionable, and that's 100% understandable.  For others, its desirable, and again that is 100% understandable.  It all comes down to the individual and how you feel concerning sex and sexual practices.  Again, as long as you're not harming yourself, or hurting someone else against their wishes, there is no "wrong" to sex or alternatives to sex.

Please make the effort to talk about this with your therapist, or at least test the water to see if they're willing to discuss issues like this.  That's what they're there for, to help us work through the issues that we can't seem to grasp on our own.

[Jonsey Charms]

Don't feel bad, first of all it's quite understandable... Sex isn't just a physical thing...it's a mental thing...you have to get release somehow...also your not alone...a lot of people have physical issues or social issues...that preclude them from the physical, they are made to feel bad about it..but it's completely artificial. Don't feel creepy. I'm impressed by you that you took the time to speak out. That shows your bravery.

[debased]

As long as you can can make a clear boundary between fantasy and real life there is no shame or feeling like a creep playing this mods.