Mai: "At last, there he is. Wanted throughout Skyrim...known only as Talon."

 

 

Mai: "Gotta act now before he moves on again. This contract is already taking too long..."

 

 

Talon: "But ya know what I missed most in prison? Sex! I was losing my mind..."

Barman: "Can't help you with that I'm afraid."

 

 

Mai: "Okay girl, here we go. We can do this..."

 

 

Mai: "Remember Vilkas' advice - hit him with fear....paralyse him with fear. Here goes......"

 

 

Mai: "HI!!! How are you today?"

 

 

Talon: "Hello there, i'm........WOAH! Is it my birthday or something?!"

 

 

Mai: "I'm Mai, from the Companions in Whiterun. And you are Talon, recently escaped from the Riften jail. I've been tracking you for three days, and i'd appreciate it if you'd accompany me to the nearest guard post so you can be returned to your cell."

 

 

Talon: "Hahaha.....interesting! Can I ask, Mai from the Companions in Whiterun, why you are naked?!"

 

 

Mai: "Me being naked is not what's important here. I don't think you understand how serious this is!"

 

 

Talon: "Oh it's SERIOUS, is it? So all that bodypaint - is that supposed to scare me, then?"

 

 

Mai: "Um.......maybe. Is it working? Are you scared?"

 

 

Talon: "No. I'm not. However I AM very interested in what is just below the paint. Do you know how long it's been since i've gotten laid? How about you and me disappear into one of the back rooms so I can fuck you over and over and over...."

 

 

Mai: "How DARE you! Don't you realise you are addressing a highly trained warrior?!

 

 

Talon: "HA! Ya hear that boys? Looks like we're in trouble. I guess our days are numbered!"

 

 

Mai: "Oh....of course....you have friends. How did I not see that coming?!"

 

 

Talon: "Grab her guys. But watch yourselves, she's a....heh....highly trained warrior!"

 

 

Thug: "Hehehe, will do boss."

 

Mai: "Talon you coward! This is between you and me. You'll really let your lackeys do your dirty work?!"

 

 

Talon: "That's what they're there for, girl!"

 

 

To be continued!

Talon: "Try not to rough her up too much now guys - that'll be MY job!"

 

Thug: "You know us, boss. We're real smooth operators..."

 

Mai: "Hi guys...nice to meet you! We can talk about this, right?"

 

Mai: "Okay guys, listen to me - you two are not part of the contract. Just walk away and I'll forget I even saw you!"

 

Thug: "There we go darlin', safe and sound. Got her, boss...took that blade from her back too."

 

Talon: "See, that wasn't so hard. Don't want you going and hurting yourself now, do we?"

 

Mai: "You idiots are making a huge mistake! Let me go, damn you!"

 

Talon: "Sorry, did you say something? I was distracted....hmmm - so soft. You see, like I was saying earlier, I haven't had a woman all to myself in a long time...."

 

Talon: "A man can turn crazy if he goes too long without touching a woman...and then suddenly you show up!"

 

Talon: "So i'm thinking...you were sent here by the divines to satisfy my burning urges! And who am I to go against the will of gods!"

 

Mai: "Oh my.......WOW!"

 

Thug: "By the eight!"

 

Talon: "Looks like you've woken the beast, girl...."

 

Talon: "...And the beast is HUNGRY!"

 

Mai: "Whatever. You DO realise there is no way that thing is gonna fit in me, right?!"

 

Talon: "Ha! There's only one way to find out - throw her over boys!"

 

Thug: "She's all yours, boss. Have fun!"

 

To be concluded...

Talon: "Now girl - time for me and you to have some fun!"

 

Mai: "This is your last warning Talon. Let me go right now or you'll regret it!"

 

 

Talon: "HA! Such a smart-ass. In fact...that gives me an idea: I think your ass should be the first to get well acquainted with my raging beast!"

 

 

Mai(wriggling and squirming): "OH GODS NO!!! I beg you, please don't..."

 

Talon: "Hold still dammit - you're just delaying the inevitable."

 

 

Thug: "Hahaha - having a bit of trouble hitting the target there, boss?"

 

Talon: "Shut your mouth! She's definately a slippery one. Get over here and help me hold her ass still..."

 

 

Mai: **Hmmm - I think I've got an idea.** "WAIT! There's no need for that, Talon. I'll stop resisting - just keep your smelly thugs away from me."

 

 

Talon: "Good girl - see how much easier things are when you just co-operate nicely? Now - time for some PENETRATION!"

 

 

Thug: "Eh...boss, are you sure it's a good idea to just leave her unrestrained like that?"

 

Talon: "Quiet you, you're killing the romance! Hmmm, this girls ass is locked up tighter than a Nordic ruin. Just...a little....more..."

 

 

Talon: "There we go! Now i'm sliding in. You better brace yourself girl, this is gonna be a VERY tight fit. You ain't gonna know what hit you!"

 

 

Mai: **This is my last chance before it's too late!** "I could say the same for you, creep.........!"

 

 

Mai: "HYAAAAAAA!"

 

Talon: "OOOMPH!"

 

 

Thug: "By the eight! I knew we should have restrai........"

 

 

Mai: "I've heard ENOUGH out of you!"

 

Thug: "ACK.......!"

 

 

Mai: "Now...I'd like my mainhand dagger back please..."

 

Second Thug: "You little BITCH! Come and take it from me! I'd like to see you tr......"

 

 

Second Thug: "......UGHHH!"

 

 

Talon: "You fool - I was gonna let you live after I was done with you. Now you're a DEAD WOMAN!"

 

Mai: "I gave you more than enough chances to come peacefully, Talon...."

 

 

Mai: "Now we do things the hard way!"

 

 

Talon: "You think that butter knife scares me?! I'm going to BURY you!"

 

 

Mai: "Don't worry - this "butter knife" isn't for you..."

 

 

Mai: "....It's for HIM!"

 

 

Talon: "WRAAAAAAGGHHHH.............!"

 

 

Mai (violently twisting the blade): "How's THAT for penetration, asshole?!"

 

 

------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Several Days Later...

 

 

Vilkas: "Hey, there you are! Welcome back - we were worried about you! How'd your contract go?"

 

Mai: "Hey Vilkas. It went pretty good! A little scary, but overall I had fun! Oh, by the way....I have a question..."

 

 

Vilkas: "Sure, Mai. What is it?"

 

Mai: "Um...what's our policy on cutting off people's penises?"

 

 

Vilkas: ".............!"

 

 

The End!