Chapter 37: The Steal Circle (2/2)

Entry posted by ther1pper July 2, 2017

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"The Millennium Falcon was stolen Six times and now Han is there to complete the steal circle"

???: Well done Alice, it worked.

Alice: Of course it worked.

Alice: No one can pickpocket better than me.

Commoner: You got that right, best pickpocket in skyrim.
Alice: Come on Inga, lets find another fool.

Inga: Right behind you, hopefully we can find someone with more stuff and not just two pieces of jewelery and some panties.

(10 minutes later)
Inga: So a couple of months ago i stole from some noble.
Alice: How'd that go.

Inga: It was hilarious, when he found out what got stolen he went into a tantrum, he was like a toddler.
Alice: Hahaha

Alice: What was it anyways?
Inga: Just a ebony dag-Hold on.

Inga: What's that up ahead.
Alice: I think.

Alice: its a bear.

Alice: Good its asleep.
Inga: What's that next to it.

Alice: dead imperial, poor stupid fool.

Inga: What should we do?
Alice: Just sneak around it, should be that har-
*growling noise*

Alice: Shit its awake.
Inga: Maybe its friendl-

*Bear roaring*

*Bear charing*
Inga: By the gods.
Alice: Run!

*Running sound of people and bear*

Alice: Shit its getting closer.
Inga: Drop the backpacks.

Alice: What!I
Inga: I want to live and i want you to live too, just drop them and lets go.

*Sound of bags hitting ground*
Alice: Fuck!

*Running continues*

*Bear stops*

*Bear snorts*

*Bear makes a low growl*

???: Good boy Ernie.

Imperial Soldier: and the guild said this was a bad idea, using bears to steal from people

Imperial Soldier: Sure showed them huh buddy.
*Ernie lets out a low growl*

Imperial Soldier: Now then, lets see, Jewelry, clothes, what the?

Imperial Soldier: an Enchanted Thong?

(Hours later)

*Wind blowing*

*Ernie Snoozing*

*Imperial Soldier Snoring*

*Leaves rustling in background*

*low footsteps*

Thief: *Whispering* Excellent.

*Ernie snoozing*

*Sound of bag rustling*

Thief: *whispering* lets just take the small one

Thief: *whispering* there we go.

*low footsteps*

Thief: Hehe, sweet dreams suckers.

Thief: Off to Riften.

(3 days later, Riften)

(The Pawned Prawn)

Bersi: 97 is the best i can do.
Sylvia: Come on. This is a genuine 3rd era sword.

Sylvia: Can't you give me a little higher? 105? 110?

Bersi: No i can't. Its an old rusted sword, it won't sell well.

Sylvia: Argh, fine. Just give me the 97.
Bersi: Good.

Sylvia: This is bullshit.
*sound of door opening*
Bersi: Not my problem its an old sword, now leave.

Sylvia: Hmph.
Bersi: Kjan welcome welcome.
Kjan: Bersi, good to see you friend.

Bersi: So what have you got for me today Hmm?
Kjan: Oh i've some some nice Jewelry for you to sell.
Bersi: Oh.

Bersi: Lets see.
Sylvia: This is bullshit.

*Background* Bersi: Oh, Jewels, daggers very nice.
Sylvia: If i hadn't had gotten my stuff stolen from i would have a lot more money right now.

*Background* Bersi: Ah this is?
Sylvia: The rent on that house ain't cheap.
*Background* Kjan: Oh those.

Sylvia: Still never found my panties.
*Background* Kjan: Genuine enchanted panties that give you resist disease and poison.

Sylvia: What!?

Sylvia: Those are my!

Kjan: Well what do you say?

Bersi: Kjan i love the stuff you bring in but even i think this is a little much.

Kjan: Come on, at least try to sell-

*Sound of boot hitting face*
Kjan: THEMGAH!!!
Bersi: By Mara!

*Sound of Kjan hitting ground*
Kjan: O-Ow, w-why-
*Sound of blade unsheathing*

Kjan: Wait!Wait!Wait!

Bersi: Woman what are yo-
Sylvia: Bersi, please shut the fuck up.

Sylvia: and you, why did you steal my panties from me?

Kjan: I-i didn't, i

Sylvia: You liar! i ought to-
Kjan: I swear!

Kjan: I stole these from some Argonian near Ivarstead, please, please don't kill me!

Sylvia: an Argonian.....hmmm

Kjan: GAH!

*Sound of Kjan being slammed into shelf*
Kjan: AH!

Sylvia: Bersi, my panties, please.
Bersi: Y-Yes Sylvia.

Sylvia: and you Kjan.

Sylvia: Take me to this Argonian you stole from.

(2 days later)
(The Ragged Flagon)

*walking sounds*

*heavy angry breathing*

Dirge: I don't care if you are best buddies with the Guild master, I'll still sm-
Sylvia: shut.

Sylvia: THE FUCK UP!!!
*Sound of jaw breaking*
Dirge: UGH!

Dirge: *groaning*
Sylvia: BRYNJOLF WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!?

Delvin: Oy Sylvia what are ya doin

*Should of blade unsheathing*
Delvin: You trying to get-

Delvin: Ah.
Sylvia: Shut it you bald stuff up sounding idiot and tell me.

Sylvia: Where the Fuck, is Brynjolf.

Brynjolf: Right here Lass.

Brynjolf: now tell me what do ya think you're doing threatening us like that.

Sylvia: 1. i don't respond to lass, 2. i threaten whoever i need to.

Sylvia: 3. what the fuck have you and Mercer been doing? Running this place into the fucking ground!

Brynjolf: Sorry la-er Sylvia, i don't follow.S
Sylvia: 10 times.

Brynjolf: what?
Sylvia: That's the amount of times i've had my panties stolen.
Brynjolf: what does-

Sylvia: By our own guys! Why the fuck are we stealing from each other, its like one retarded steal circle.

Brynjolf: What proof do you have of this?
Sylvia: Proof! I will drag Kjan here if i have to. He stolen it from an argonian, who stole it from a female imperial, who stole it from a Khajit who stole it from a nord who stole it from an thief dressed like an imperial soldier who stole it from a pair of women who stole it from a Khajit who stole it from me.

Sylvia: If you can't take me word for it we'll have a serious fucking problem.

Brynolf: Fine, then what do you expect us to do, with the war over the imperials have tighter security now.

Sylvia: That's fine, just hook me up with some serious jobs, if we don't, we'll disappear.
Brynolf: You! Sylvia you killed people during the Goldenglow thief, you botched it hard, and you often get screwed by animals, why should i trust you.
Sylvia: Because it still got done compared to the other 10 thieves you got killed or almost killed doing it, and unlike your other members, if i get caught, its only by an animal, never a person, not my fault they had a guard dog.

Sylvia: You can either leave the tougher jobs to me to restore this guilds glory, or you can keep fucking up, your choice.
Brynolf: By the gods fine!

Brynolf: Once chance, Talk to Mercer, he's been having trouble with someone causing trouble for the guild, maybe you can sniff them out.

Sylvia: Fine, but if its anything stupid, I'll be back for you.
Brynolf: its an information gathering job, its the best we got that the moment.

Sylvia: hmph, very well, I'll take it, just keep the thieves you and Mercer are supposed to be in charge of from stealing each other.

Brynolf: you'd better watch yourself lass, otherwise Merc-
Sylvia: I don't care Brynolf.

Brynolf: Y-
*Sound of door closing*
Sylvia: Really don't care. Thieves stealing from each other, Thieves getting themselves killed during dumbass day time thieving.

Sylvia: Sending them to their deaths, these idiots have no reason to lecture me, I'll show them.

Sylvia: I'll return the guild to glory and show them how to really run a guild properly.

Info

I made a small error on the picture, the HUD was showing something. Also.
IT WORKS, AND 40-60FPS!!!! MY POWER, MY POWER!!!! ITS

MAXIMUMMER!!!

Sort've, still some random stuttering every now and again, mainly smooth. Thank you very much Collygon, xgkf, 2Dimm, and Tirloque. A collection of trying all those at once for the most part solved the problem.

Quote origin: