(The Rift, Morning)

Courier: Ah, finally got this courier job.

Courier: Can't believe no one wanted this job, its so easy.

Courier: and with the war over hopefully the roads will be safer

Courier: Met a thief every day with those idiots constantly fighting.

Courier: Though i think i've been attacked by bears more.
*Sound of sword being gripped*

Courier: Maybe i could ask the Dawnguard for some we-

???: Don't move!
Courier: Ah!

Courier: W-what?
???: Don't turn around either.

???: Drop your backpack.
Courier: But i can't i-

Sylvia: Now!

Courier: O-Okay.

Courier: N-Now w-
Sylvia: I said not to face me!
Courier: Y-Yes mam

Sylvia: Good, Now i want you to run.

Sylvia: and never turn back.

Courier: Argh.
*running sound*

Courier: I'm so fired, on my first day too.

Courier: this sucks.

Sylvia: Well.

Sylvia: That was much easier than last time.

Sylvia: So what little goodies have i got today.

Sylvia: Oh, jewelry.

Sylvia: These will fetch a nice price.

Sylvia: Lets just put you beauties back in the bag.

*putting on backpack*
Sylvia: there we go

Sylvia: Okay.

Sylvia: Back to Riften.

(2 hours later)

Sylvia: Woo.

Sylvia: Almost there.

Sylvia: MMMMM

Sylvia: All this walking makes me tired though.

Sylvia: Hmmm.

Sylvia: Maybe a rest wouldn't hurt.

Sylvia: No one's around, yeah i'll just take a short nap.

Sylvia: There we go.

Sylvia: keep my sword close to me.

*sitting on grass*
Sylvia: Ahhh.

Sylvia: I don't think anyone will come around.

Sylvia: Should be fi*yawn* to rest

Sylvia: For maybe an hour or two.

Sylvia: Yeah...
*snoozing sounds*

(10 minutes later)
*Sound of wind blowing through trees*

*sound of footsteps*

Khajit: *heavy breathing* Gods Khajit finally got away

Khajit: Khajit thinks stealing from a noble is harder than he realized.

Khajit: He should keep going befor-! Oh.

Khajit: What's this?

Khajit: That one is sleeping unprotected

Khajit: Perfect prey for this one.

*Silent footsteps*

Khajit: *whispering* Oh.

Khajit: *whispering*This one has a nice body.

Khajit: *whispering*No bra, Khajit likes.

Khajit: *whispering*Lets see if this one has anything valuable.

Khajit: *whispering* Bone sword, hah, only fool would use or buy bone. Clothes too skimpy.

Khajit: *whispering* Lets see what's in her bag

Khajit: *whispering* Very nice.

Khajit: *whispering* this one will make a small profit in Riften.

*Sound of putting on backpack*
Khajit: *whispering* there we go.

Khajit: *whispering* all mine now.

Khajit: *whispering* Khajit thanks this one for her jewelry.

Khajit: *whispering* This one is such a fool for lying out in the open, Khajit never been stolen in such a stupid way.

Khajit: *whispering* Hmmm.

Khajit: *whispering* Khajit will take something to remember you by

*Sound of clothes rustling*

(1 hour later)
Sylvia: Mmmmm.

Sylvia: Ahhh.

Sylvia: That was a great nap.

Sylvia: Alright time to continue on and sell t-

Sylvia: MY GOODS!!!

Sylvia: What the fuck! Gods dammit i was stolen from again!

Sylvia: AND....they didn't take my sword or dagger....strange?

Sylvia: Well whatever.
*sound of sword being grabbed*

*sound of sword being sheathed*
Sylvia: Time to find this asshole and teach him a lesson.

*walking*
Sylvia: I'll cut his fingers off

Sylvia: That'll sh-
*Sudden stop*

*Sound of wind blowing*

*Sound of Sylvia grabbing butt*

Sylvia: They didn't want my sword, nor my dagger.

Sylvia: But instead they took.

Sylvia: My fucking panties again.

*Loud sigh*

Sylvia: ......

Sylvia: Fuck panty thieves.

(Meanwhile)

*Khajit Laughing*

Khajit: That went so well, now Khajit can buy home he wants.

Khajit: and sniff the panties of a cute Imperial girl.

Khajit: Today is a great d-
Commoner: Excuse me!

Khajit: What do you want! Khajit has no time for you.
Commoner: Sorry i'm a little lost.

Commoner: Could you tell me the way to Ivarstead?

Khajit: Ivarstead well

Khajit: This one is going in the right direction.

Khajit: Keep going West till this one sees the mountains are a lot closer.

Khajit: Then you head north, then west again.

Commoner: Any dangers.

Khajit: Yes, many bears are on the road, along with trolls

Khajit: But you could easily outrun them.

Khajit: Also bandits, but they aren't around as much.

Commoner: I see, thank you very much.

Commoner: You were very helpful, hopefully we never see each other again.

*running*
Khajiit: Sure i, wait what do you mean by never see each other?

Khajiit: Well whatever not my problem, time to go to riften and sell..

Khajit: .why is this one feel draft-!

Khajit: BY THE GODS THIS ONES CLOTHES ARE GONE!!!

Khajit: That cunt, she dare make a fool of-

Khajit: This one.

Khajit: FUCK!!!