"Dammit Talsgar, read the room!" Was great ?. 

Amy is really fun, I think she and Thora are your best characters. 

Some of the outdoor night shots were a touch on the dark/difficult to make out what was going on side though ?

Thanks! 

When I read it, the read the room comment always makes me laugh the hardest. 

Amy and Thora are my personal faves as well. They're both just so much fun to write, for different reasons of course. 

As far as the night shots, I was a bit worried about them as well. When I actually play, which is a rarity these days, I tend to play with Darker Nights for the immersion. I have it turned off for shooting, but it's still a bit too dark. ?

Another quite funny chapter. Liked how you played on the incentive of the bartender's fantasy possibly happening, while ensuring the humorous touch with Hana's drunken speechstyle and reactions. ? Same for Amy's points of view, which are simultaneoulsy dealing on quite direct issues, but with a respectful feel and a familiar register definitely making it peculiar. You're good at the dialogues parts. And at the humor, with Hana wondering about the name of her partner all along. ^^ I do wonder though if the contrast between an FFFFFF white bubbles and dark sceneries do not decrease the readability. Anyway, technically it was on point, and the read was entertaining all along. Good job !

Malicia: « That Hana gal is very shilly, erh silly, uh : kissing another girl's pee-pee will make her turn into a draugr. And make her nose smell like poo too.  »

5 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Another quite funny chapter. Liked how you played on the incentive of the bartender's fantasy possibly happening, while ensuring the humorous touch with Hana's drunken speechstyle and reactions. ? Same for Amy's points of view, which are simultaneoulsy dealing on quite direct issues, but with a respectful feel and a familiar register definitely making it peculiar. You're good at the dialogues parts. And at the humor, with Hana wondering about the name of her partner all along. ^^ I do wonder though if the contrast between an FFFFFF white bubbles and dark sceneries do not decrease the readability. Anyway, technically it was on point, and the read was entertaining all along. Good job !

 

Malicia: « That Hana gal is very shilly, erh silly, uh : kissing another girl's pee-pee will make her turn into a draugr. And make her nose smell like poo too.  »

Glad you enjoyed it! ? 

I do enjoy writing dialogue, Amy in particular right now. As far as the darkness... yeah. It was my first time shooting anything at night, and I think I took a lesson or two away from it. I think going forward I'm probably going to do most of my "nighttime" shooting a bit closer to dusk. I think just a little more ambient light would have made a world of difference in those shots. 

And, my lovely Malicia, sometimes when it's the right girl, or in Hana's case, an available girl, that "kiss" is worth the risk. ?

You know, you have 5 main characters in this episode ( 6 if you count Wilhelm and 7 if we include poor Alfred) and Amy still ends up stealing the show! ? I am completely ok with it! She is just great and the way you write her makes Amy both fascinating and highly amusing.  "Why is he naked?" - " No reason, just preference" ? You can practically see Aza going  "I am already regretting asking".  And speaking of that - please, please tell me that we'll get to find out how Amy and Aza met! That in itself should be quite a story!

Talsgar is probably about to get in waaaaay over his head. Rescuing damsels in distress is a noble feat, but when the said damsels are a former dremora and her budding Necromancer follower things tend to become much more complicated. ? I cannot wait to see where this will go.

Wonderful and very entertaining chapter. Looking forward to more as well as a revelation of the greatest mystery of all - what IS the name of Hana's partner?! ?

6 hours ago, Devianna said:

You know, you have 5 main characters in this episode ( 6 if you count Wilhelm and 7 if we include poor Alfred) and Amy still ends up stealing the show! ? I am completely ok with it! She is just great and the way you write her makes Amy both fascinating and highly amusing.  "Why is he naked?" - " No reason, just preference" ? You can practically see Aza going  "I am already regretting asking".  And speaking of that - please, please tell me that we'll get to find out how Amy and Aza met! That in itself should be quite a story!

 

Talsgar is probably about to get in waaaaay over his head. Rescuing damsels in distress is a noble feat, but when the said damsels are a former dremora and her budding Necromancer follower things tend to become much more complicated. ? I cannot wait to see where this will go.

 

Wonderful and very entertaining chapter. Looking forward to more as well as a revelation of the greatest mystery of all - what IS the name of Hana's partner?! ?

I could probably have a chapter with like five hundred pages and fifty individual characters, put Amy in just one of those panels with like two lines of dialogue, and that would be what people would comment on! ? 

As far as their first meeting, that tale is in the works! We're going to hear it twice! Because Aza and Amy are so different, there's a kind of unreliable narrator element to the story so we'll be hearing it from both points of view. 

Ah Talsgar. Sigh. The first time I encountered him in game was during my original Thora playthrough way back when. She and... Cosnach I think,  were lost in the wilderness north of Markarth (A terrible sense of direction has been there since the beginning!) I've had an interest in him ever since. I like using vanilla characters and trying to give them a bit more depth. I did of course "recast" him like Sybille because his vanilla model is atrocious. 

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks! ☺️