Diary of a Dragonborn Chapter 21: There's A Dragon, Everybody Follow!
CHAPTER 21: THERE'S A DRAGON, EVERYBODY FOLLOW!
In which our hero gets lost while fighting random monsters.
Previous: Chapter 20, Forth From Winterhold
So the best way to get to Riften is via carriage, probably from Windhelm, but I'll be fucked if I go back to Windhelm without an army at my back and a torch in my hand, so I'll just teleport to Kynesgrove and walk from there.
It's a long, arduous trip. Danger abounds on every side. The danger of this trip taking three times how long it's supposed to, because every five feet I'm being attacked again. First it's a giant and mammoths, which I successfully defeat, if you consider "run screaming like a little girl" defeating them. Next, a bear, which I really do successfully defeat. Then a pack of wolves. Then another bear, and another bear, and another wolf. I pass through Shor's Stone without stopping, because something killed the guards in the watchtower outside of town, and the only threats nearby are bears and wolves and I've seen guards take them down no problem, so it must be something pretty goddamn bad, and I don't want to get involved, so onward I go. I pass through an old fort and slaughter the bandits there, you'd think they'd have more sense than to attack an ebony-clad warrior wielding a big fucking axe. Next there are a couple more bears and some wolves, and I've finally reached Riften, I'm here to rescue Esbern and maybe take a look at that orphanage lady the insane kid in Windhelm wanted me to kill, but it is not to be just yet, because a pair of spiders are attacking the town. I kill the spiders and run into a bear, then a troll, then another troll, then a pack of wolves, then another bear, then a spriggan, then a couple of green glowing deer and a goat the spriggan enchanted who don't seem to be able to make up their minds whether to attack or run away and I can't get a moment's rest while those little red dots are sitting on my compass.
Finally, the chain battle seems to be over, all hostiles eliminated sir. I pause to take a few breaths, wipe my brow, take a sip of water, then I look up and I have no idea where I am. There are trees stuck in permanent autumn colors, so I must still be in the Rift, but where the hell is Riften? Where's the nearest road? My map says I'm almost to Ivarstead here! What the fuck just happened?
So I fast travel again, back to Riften, only to find a dragon circling overhead peacefully, not attacking anybody, but the guards don't seem to get that. They're wandering around with their bows out and fully drawn, which you'd think would put a bit of strain on the muscles after holding the bow taut for more than a few seconds, but whatever. Eventually the dragon flies off, bored of the circling game and probably never to be seen again, and the guards slowly walk after him, bows still at full draw, probably never to be seen again either. I'm sure they'll eventually make it to Cyrodiil, the idiots.
I make a quick teleport back to Whiterun to drop off some stuff and pick up some other stuff, carefully holding onto my precious wicker basket (bet you thought that joke was gone), then back to Riften, where the guards apparently got bored of their game too, because they're back now. Either that or they're just two new guards, I can't really tell with those helmets they wear. As far as I know, they could be monkeys in there (and really, they are monkeys in there), suffering from a crisis of identity.
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