[Unity-3D , 3D-Adventure]Abandoned : A tale of forgotten lives (version 1.00 Final))

[Kerny]

Had some spare time to see all the content of the game, and eventually came up with some plot suggestions. Whether to use them or not - is entirely up to you, of course.

 

First one

 

 

Third side - someone at some point is intervening with their own goals. And there's several versions, I see.

 

Another salvager - maybe the guy, mentioned as the one, who tried to talk Victor against searching through this field. Maybe, he knew about the base, but was to cautious to approach. 

 

Pirates - were tracking Victor's shuttle to the point, when he docked with the base. Then they've seen the big payday on the horizon.

 

Goverment investigation team - 2-3 days was more than enough for initial radio-chatter with Aemi to reach nearby listening post. And reaction of local officials is pretty predictable - send some people to take a closer look.

 

Another AI unit - according to Aemi's initial designation, there is up to 11 another AIs. Whether they are still dormant or not - unclear. Maybe, some of them are awake and will try to take over Aemi's body or base systems.

 

 

Second one

 

 

From the several reservations, made in dialogues, I have a feeling, that Vivian wasn't exactly ok with her initial human body condition. Maybe, something deeper in this topic? Her photo, found somewhere in the crew quarters? Maybe another sudden breakdown like the one in hydroponics?

 

 

@the first one

 

Uff that requires even more work.. i know you all want to have more characters in the game but this would requirwe a hrorendous amount of work for me since i would have to add a TON of animations for her or for it.

 

If i ever create a sequel i guess... i can make it possible

 

@the seond one

 

Hehe... maybe

Maybe i create even Vivians old room where she lived in during her work on the station.

[KAPbl4]

 

Had some spare time to see all the content of the game, and eventually came up with some plot suggestions. Whether to use them or not - is entirely up to you, of course.

 

First one

 

 

Third side - someone at some point is intervening with their own goals. And there's several versions, I see.

 

Another salvager - maybe the guy, mentioned as the one, who tried to talk Victor against searching through this field. Maybe, he knew about the base, but was to cautious to approach. 

 

Pirates - were tracking Victor's shuttle to the point, when he docked with the base. Then they've seen the big payday on the horizon.

 

Goverment investigation team - 2-3 days was more than enough for initial radio-chatter with Aemi to reach nearby listening post. And reaction of local officials is pretty predictable - send some people to take a closer look.

 

Another AI unit - according to Aemi's initial designation, there is up to 11 another AIs. Whether they are still dormant or not - unclear. Maybe, some of them are awake and will try to take over Aemi's body or base systems.

 

 

Second one

 

 

From the several reservations, made in dialogues, I have a feeling, that Vivian wasn't exactly ok with her initial human body condition. Maybe, something deeper in this topic? Her photo, found somewhere in the crew quarters? Maybe another sudden breakdown like the one in hydroponics?

 

 

@the first one

 

Uff that requires even more work.. i know you all want to have more characters in the game but this would requirwe a hrorendous amount of work for me since i would have to add a TON of animations for her or for it.

 

If i ever create a sequel i guess... i can make it possible

 

@the seond one

 

Hehe... maybe

Maybe i create even Vivians old room where she lived in during her work on the station.

 

@first

 

It's not about new characters, actually. It's mostly about intrigue - so far, story is seem kinda straightforward. Bondage/fetish part is nice, but it can't take the place of the main plot. I am aware of required amount of work - you already mentioned this few times, and I think, that you're already making miracles with Unity. Seen better usage of this engine only in O:ND, but this is not one-man project. But maybe, new custom animations won't be needed. For example, Aemi got "posessed" with other (maybe defective, maybe uncomplete, maybe violent - "I have no moulth, but I must scream" style) AI, when trying to hack into another node. 

 

@second

 

Personally, I see Vivian as kinda unstable person with many things to hide. And it's natural in these circumstances, that these "things" (mentioned scar, strange login and password etc.) will eventually come to light...

[Kerny]

 

 

Had some spare time to see al...

 

@the first one

 

Uff that requires even more work.. i know you all want to have more characters in the game but this would requirwe a hrorendous amount of work for me since i would have to add a TON of animations for her or for it.

 

If i ever create a sequel i guess... i can make it possible

 

@the seond one

 

Hehe... maybe

Maybe i create even Vivians old room where she lived in during her work on the station.

 

@first

 

It's not about new characters, actually. It's mostly about intrigue - so far, story is seem kinda straightforward. Bondage/fetish part is nice, but it can't take the place of the main plot. I am aware of required amount of work - you already mentioned this few times, and I think, that you're already making miracles with Unity. Seen better usage of this engine only in O:ND, but this is not one-man project. But maybe, new custom animations won't be needed. For example, Aemi got "posessed" with other (maybe defective, maybe uncomplete, maybe violent - "I have no moulth, but I must scream" style) AI, when trying to hack into another node. 

 

@second

 

Personally, I see Vivian as kinda unstable person with many things to hide. And it's natural in these circumstances, that these "things" (mentioned scar, strange login and password etc.) will eventually come to light...

 

 

@first

To be honest i already though about somekind of *possesion* styled thing for the end level.. but to be honest this was just a thougt.. maybe i include this.

 

@second

I.. doN't want top spoil that much becasue.. this too.. is only a thought

(I do not write such things down.. i just keep it in my brain-memory (atz least i try))

[KAPbl4]

 

 

 

Had some spare time to see al...

 

@the first one

 

Uff that requires even more work.. i know you all want to have more characters in the game but this would requirwe a hrorendous amount of work for me since i would have to add a TON of animations for her or for it.

 

If i ever create a sequel i guess... i can make it possible

 

@the seond one

 

Hehe... maybe

Maybe i create even Vivians old room where she lived in during her work on the station.

 

@first

 

It's not about new characters, actually. It's mostly about intrigue - so far, story is seem kinda straightforward. Bondage/fetish part is nice, but it can't take the place of the main plot. I am aware of required amount of work - you already mentioned this few times, and I think, that you're already making miracles with Unity. Seen better usage of this engine only in O:ND, but this is not one-man project. But maybe, new custom animations won't be needed. For example, Aemi got "posessed" with other (maybe defective, maybe uncomplete, maybe violent - "I have no moulth, but I must scream" style) AI, when trying to hack into another node. 

 

@second

 

Personally, I see Vivian as kinda unstable person with many things to hide. And it's natural in these circumstances, that these "things" (mentioned scar, strange login and password etc.) will eventually come to light...

 

 

@first

To be honest i already though about somekind of *possesion* styled thing for the end level.. but to be honest this was just a thougt.. maybe i include this.

 

@second

I.. doN't want top spoil that much becasue.. this too.. is only a thought

(I do not write such things down.. i just keep it in my brain-memory (atz least i try))

 

 

As I said, everything about story is entirely your call - maybe, you have something much more interesting coming, who knows...

 

Sorry for posting the possible spoilers. Sometimes I just can't resist pushing the story forward on my own. Comes from being semi-professional writer myself, I think.

[Kerny]

 

 

 

 

Had some spare time to see al...

 

@the first one

 

Uff that r...

 

@first

To be honest i already though about somekind of *possesion* styled thing for the end level.. but to be honest this was just a thougt.. maybe i include this.

 

@second

I.. doN't want top spoil that much becasue.. this too.. is only a thought

(I do not write such things down.. i just keep it in my brain-memory (atz least i try))

 

 

As I said, everything about story is entirely your call - maybe, you have something much more interesting coming, who knows...

 

Sorry for posting the possible spoilers. Sometimes I just can't resist pushing the story forward on my own. Comes from being semi-professional writer myself, I think.

 

 

Mh.. i really have to think about somekind of *write your own story* in my games.

Somekind of ingame editor to place positions and a external editor for the story and the function calls.

But this.. is another thought xD

[KAPbl4]

 

 

 

 

 

Had some spare time to see al...

 

@the first one

 

Uff that r...

 

@first

To be honest i already though about somekind of *possesion* styled thing for the end level.. but to be honest this was just a thougt.. maybe i include this.

 

@second

I.. doN't want top spoil that much becasue.. this too.. is only a thought

(I do not write such things down.. i just keep it in my brain-memory (atz least i try))

 

 

As I said, everything about story is entirely your call - maybe, you have something much more interesting coming, who knows...

 

Sorry for posting the possible spoilers. Sometimes I just can't resist pushing the story forward on my own. Comes from being semi-professional writer myself, I think.

 

 

Mh.. i really have to think about somekind of *write your own story* in my games.

Somekind of ingame editor to place positions and a external editor for the story and the function calls.

But this.. is another thought xD

 

 

Hmmm... Nice idea, but likely it will take even more effort, than adding new main characters. As far as I know, unity doesn't get along well with external utilities other than it's SDK.

[PlasticFantastic]

Loving this game so far, can't wait for the generic milking event that I suspect is down the pike.

 

More generic scenes with bondage would be awesome.

[Kerny]

Loving this game so far, can't wait for the generic milking event that I suspect is down the pike.

 

More generic scenes with bondage would be awesome.

 

Uhmm.. i am kind of afraid to build in too much of this bondage stuff since the game is currently litered with all kind of fetisches mostly including restrains and restrictive clothing for the girls.

 

I mean.. i would like to but..ahmm.. i guess this gets more annoying than good when i do it too much.

[carboncats]

Hey dood !

 

This game is just AWESOME =D !

Haveing said this I'd love to help you out with some props or model or stuff because this projects needs support.

 

[davisev5225]

Do you happen to have a string table or something similar that I can use to spell and grammar check the English for you?  I'd rather not have to play through the entire game (probably multiple times) and select every possible conversation option I can find just to get what will probably be an incomplete list of strings.

 

There are a lot of errors, and I'd love to help you clean them up.

[Guest YoYoFuta]

Started playing Poker with them and I have no idea how to player poker. How do I get out of the activity? Been playing for about 15 min pressing random buttons and Im still playing this shit. Please help!

[kimble.7903]

Started playing Poker with them and I have no idea how to player poker. How do I get out of the activity? Been playing for about 15 min pressing random buttons and Im still playing this shit. Please help!

 

No reason to get mean.

 

 

 

Simple Poker rules.

 

https://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~gc00/reviews/pokerrules

[Kerny]

Do you happen to have a string table or something similar that I can use to spell and grammar check the English for you?  I'd rather not have to play through the entire game (probably multiple times) and select every possible conversation option I can find just to get what will probably be an incomplete list of strings.

 

There are a lot of errors, and I'd love to help you clean them up.

 

In version 0.35 there is a walktrhough an how to extract ALL lines into a file (the SPELLCHECK.txt file) and load it into the spellcheck tool so you can change them without fearing to destroy the serialzation.

There are currently two spellcheck tools , One from me and one from Alexandr Romanenko . I think it would be better to use Romanenkos tool since it better written and easier to use!

 

Started playing Poker with them and I have no idea how to player poker. How do I get out of the activity? Been playing for about 15 min pressing random buttons and Im still playing this shit. Please help!

 

Ahm.. you can try to lose on purpose or you can use ctrl+W to see Vivian and Aemis cards during the poker event.

unfortunately i did not include a *i give up* button in the game since i thought this isn't needed >_<

[davisev5225]

 

Do you happen to have a string table or something similar that I can use to spell and grammar check the English for you?  I'd rather not have to play through the entire game (probably multiple times) and select every possible conversation option I can find just to get what will probably be an incomplete list of strings.

 

There are a lot of errors, and I'd love to help you clean them up.

 

In version 0.35 there is a walktrhough an how to extract ALL lines into a file (the SPELLCHECK.txt file) and load it into the spellcheck tool so you can change them without fearing to destroy the serialzation.

There are currently two spellcheck tools , One from me and one from Alexandr Romanenko . I think it would be better to use Romanenkos tool since it better written and easier to use!

 

 

I apparently missed that (or simply misunderstood the directions).  I'll go back and look.  Thanks!

 

EDIT: I figured it out.  The directions included with the new tool from Alexandr aren't complete, they assume you have already extracted SPELLCHECK.txt.

 

EDIT 2: This might take a while, there are a *LOT* of strings to fix up. 

[davisev5225]

Well, I'm at line 209 so far.  That's approximately 1/62 of the 12,429 strings so far.     I've edited about 90-95% of the lines, cleaning up spelling and grammar, as well as some minor re-wording so that things don't sound so strange in English.

 

The biggest error I've seen so far: "I" should always be capitalized, even when it isn't at the beginning of the sentence.  In English, "I" is a proper noun, and proper nouns are always capitalized.  (Example: a person's name)  I also found a line that was still in German.  

 

I'll continue editing a few dozen lines at a time as I have free time until, hopefully, I get through the whole thing.

[Kerny]

Well, I'm at line 209 so far.  That's approximately 1/62 of the 12,429 strings so far.     I've edited about 90-95% of the lines, cleaning up spelling and grammar, as well as some minor re-wording so that things don't sound so strange in English.

 

The biggest error I've seen so far: "I" should always be capitalized, even when it isn't at the beginning of the sentence.  In English, "I" is a proper noun, and proper nouns are always capitalized.  (Example: a person's name)  I also found a line that was still in German.  

 

I'll continue editing a few dozen lines at a time as I have free time until, hopefully, I get through the whole thing.

 

Please don't stress yourself with this!

One of my patrteons also gave me a spellcheck file a while ago.

I can give you what i already have so far.. the file i attached is from Mike who also started to spellcheck the version of the game. I don't know how far he came but accodring to the filesize he didin't get that far

 

Maybe this file is of some use for you :=)

SPELLCHECK.txt

[davisev5225]

Yeah, that one still has a lot of the issues I have been correcting.  They fixed a lot of the spelling errors, but the grammar isn't always the best and sometimes you have an entirely wrong word (that is spelled correctly, at least).  Here's a couple examples at random:

 

RED = wrong word

YELLOW = awkward phrasing

GREEN = redundant information

BLUE = poor sentence structure, missing punctuation, etc.

PURPLE = a space that doesn't belong

 

• "Since our android bodies emit fluids too while been stimulated this suit can also take advantage of our android bodys."
  
  (emit usually refers to light)   (too doesn't really belong here)   (been should be "being")   (missing a comma)   (you already specified "android bodies" at the beginning of the sentence, and "bodys" is spelled wrong)
  
  This should read something like this:
  "Since our android bodies release fluids while they are being stimulated, this suit can also take advantage of us."
  
   
• "Thank you. I am also looking forward to this. But due to Vivian 's current behaviour you should consider to also accept a close relationship with her."
  
  (never start a sentence with "but" - it should be a compound sentence)   (I've seen this a lot - you put a space before apostrophes and commas, but the space doesn't belong there)   (missing a comma)   (this could be changed to "also consider accepting", but I rephrased it to be a little more personal)
  
  This should read something like this:
  "Thank you.  I'm also looking forward to this; however, due to Vivian's current behavior, I'd suggest you consider developing a close relationship with her as well."

 

I'm trying to "translate" everything into more natural English, something that's a bit of a hybrid between spoken English and proper written English.  I'm hoping the end result will seem professional, but also be easy enough to read through.

 

Also, I just did the math.  Apparently I exaggerated a little, and I've edited approximately 75% of the lines so far.  Of the 209 lines I've gone through, 54 of them are untouched.

 

------

 

Don't get discouraged by my nit-picking!  You're making a great game (or perhaps interactive novel?) here.  It is, however, obvious that English is not your first language, and because of that, it's difficult to get the little things correct.  I'm simply trying to help you out.  

[Kerny]

Yeah, that one still has a lot of the issues I have been correcting.  They fixed a lot of the spelling errors, but the grammar isn't always the best and sometimes you have an entirely wrong word (that is spelled correctly, at least).  Here's a couple examples at random:

 

RED = wrong word....

------

 

Don't get discouraged by my nit-picking!  You're making a great game (or perhaps interactive novel?) here.  It is, however, obvious that English is not your first language, and because of that, it's difficult to get the little things correct.  I'm simply trying to help you out.  

 

Oh my... so many errors >_<

How can i not get discouraged... i mean.. all i do is create a simple animation and play it when the event triggers... everyone can do this. it isn't that hard.

And to see exactly that every sentence i write is kind of garbage.. wahhhhhh...

[davisev5225]

 

Yeah, that one still has a lot of the issues I have been correcting.  They fixed a lot of the spelling errors, but the grammar isn't always the best and sometimes you have an entirely wrong word (that is spelled correctly, at least).  Here's a couple examples at random:

 

RED = wrong word....

------

 

Don't get discouraged by my nit-picking!  You're making a great game (or perhaps interactive novel?) here.  It is, however, obvious that English is not your first language, and because of that, it's difficult to get the little things correct.  I'm simply trying to help you out.  

 

Oh my... so many errors >_<

How can i not get discouraged... i mean.. all i do is create a simple animation and play it when the event triggers... everyone can do this. it isn't that hard.

And to see exactly that every sentence i write is kind of garbage.. wahhhhhh...

 

 

I am not an artist.  I cannot create models or textures, I cannot create environments, I cannot rig skeletons, I cannot create animation stages, and I can't place them where they need to be.  I'm also garbage at writing stories.  The best I can do is take pre-created assets and write the script that tells them when to animate.

 

In other words, what you are doing is NOT simple, and you should be proud of your work!  No one is perfect, so you cannot expect your work to be perfect.  Just do your best, and people like me will help you where we can.  The rest will take care of itself.  

 

 

 

By the way, your sentences aren't "garbage".  You wrote a story that I was able to understand and become immersed in.  Just because there's little mistakes throughout doesn't mean they're worthless.  You've already done better than I could ever do on every front except spelling and grammar, just by writing the story.  If it helps, call it your first draft, and consider the spell-checkers to be your editors.  

 

(Hopefully you haven't read my reply until now, as I've made a few edits to add some extra bits here and there.)

[davisev5225]

I hope I haven't scared you away.  

[Kerny]

I hope I haven't scared you away.  

 

WAhhhh!

*runs away*

...

*Pummff.. Runs against telephone pole*

My head... >_<

[davisev5225]

 

I hope I haven't scared you away.  

 

WAhhhh!

*runs away*

...

*Pummff.. Runs against telephone pole*

My head... >_<

 

 

Oh good, now you can't run away. 

[davisev5225]

FUCK!

 

I was over 500 lines in, and the alternate spell-check tool saved a 0kb text file, effectively erasing all my work.  Time to start versioning on Dropbox...

[Kerny]

FUCK!

 

I was over 500 lines in, and the alternate spell-check tool saved a 0kb text file, effectively erasing all my work.  Time to start versioning on Dropbox...

 

Mh.. that's bad. I did not developed the alternative tool , one of my patreons did

[deepsleep]

Thanks for the game. Cant wait for more content. Just the thing to come to after playing Andromeda.