April FOol - or not?

[labrat]

Sorry for the doom & gloom, but we may soon lose the UK contingent on the Internet.

 

David Cameron's government have announced, (Sunday, April 1st, nice timing), that they are going to introduce new legislation to tackle "Terrorism and Crime on the Internet".

 

New powers are to be granted to the "authorities" to use the vastly over-resourced eavesdropping centre, GCHQ in Cheltenham.

 

They will be able to demand that ISPs grant them immediate access in order to monitor the realtime online activity of any web user.

 

What you see is what they will see. If it's not encrypted securely, what you download, they will download.

 

At the moment any such access, where permitted at all, is carefully restricted by warrant that must be approved, showing reasonable cause, no fishing. This will no longer be the case.

 

The last UK government tried to give itself similar powers but the backlash was so strong, (and the Conservative voices were loud then), that they quietly dropped the idea. The hypocrites then reintroduce something they opposed so vehemently.

 

The UK security services are a bit of a law unto themselves at the best of times. Dissenters have been known to ..... [PASSAGE DELETED DUE TO INSTINCT FOR SELF-PRESERVATION KICKING IN]

 

I wonder how they persuaded the UK government that they need more power. To quote myself, "allowing people power on the understanding that they will only use it wisely is not paying attention in history class".

 

Remember. A lot of what you see here is very strongly illegal in the UK, stuff that you take for granted is considered hard core illegal porn. Arrests are few because it has been seen as too difficult to enforce these laws. That will change if the new powers come into play.

 

We're not talking about some redundant old fashioned law that no one bothers with. The law was extended specifically to cover material like LoversLab as recently as 2009 (Sections 63-68 of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008 which became law in 2009).

 

The internet has done a lot to normalise porn. Not long ago this sort of stuff was for seedy old men in soiled macintoshes furtively going into backstreet shops. Anyone who looked at sexual pictures was a "pervert". If the pendulum swings we are all "perverts" again.

 

Why would they bother with pervs? Simple. The real target is the free internet itself. Pervs are the soft underbelly, the low-hanging fruit and the key to gaining "popular support" with the loud religious and intolerant. Use them and terrorists as an excuse and you can do what you want.

 

Cui really bloody bono.

[Chbaakal]

Smeggin' fantastic news....

If this goes through, the UK is screwed. Plan on seeing this over your internet connection;

 

[FusRoDah]

Tough Luck for you Brits. :-\

 

It's not like Porn is illegal though, (with exceptions to Bestiality and CP), So the only problem here will be a violation of Privacy.

 

Seems like an april fools joke tough. They can't possibly

, And Announcing Serious News is never a good idea around april fools. XD

 

[labrat]

 

It's not like Porn is illegal though' date=' (with exceptions to Bestiality and CP), So the only problem here will be a violation of Privacy.

 

[/quote']

 

Guess again.

 

Any depiction of sexual activity is illegal in the UK unless retailed through and in a licensed premises having first been certificated as 18Restricted or equivalent.

 

Depictions of "extreme" pornography will not be certificated and possession of such material is illegal, which definition includes simulation of bondage, SM practices, non-consensual intercourse, anything else we consider "extreme" and even (though this is usually tolerated) anal intercourse. Of course even simulated CP or bestiality or necrophilia (including sex with the undead) are strictly illegal. Drawn or computer generated or what have you is categorized exactly the same as cinematic or photographic. The pixels have to be protected whether they are consenting or not.

 

And apparently it's no joke. The official opposition has just been pontificating on the Beeb - mostly concerned that political and economic interests won't determine the targets and that there should be some sort of (well paid) oversight committee.

 

@chbaakal

 

 

[labrat]

They can't possibly monitor Everything

 

 

, however, GCHQ boast that since they have been granted back door access to all telephone systems, they already have the capacity to listen to every telephone conversation in or through UK channels, if they were allowed to. In fact the listening would be automated, with human snoops only involved when a flag was raised, or a finger pointed.

 

It should be a source of slight discomfort that in the early weeks of the Arab spring, it was UK and US phone monitoring information, helpfully passed to the "authorities" that led to the disappearance of many activists in North Africa and the Near East.

[Guest]

This is a joke. This HAS to be a joke! What the fuck are they trying to accomplish by restricted what adults can see in their leisure time!?

 

Anal illegal in the UK? Are you serious? Anal isn't anymore "hardcore" or "extreme" than a oral sex!

 

Damn, I'm sorry for any of you who live in the United Kingdoms. Not just because of "teh pr0nz", but because of the government there.

 

...God damn it...

[labrat]

Announcing Serious News is never a good idea around april fools. XD

 

 

Actually' date=' it's a smart choice:

 

a) The papers concentrate on "silly stories"

It's a Sunday - most people are at home, so no office twittering or bored news scanning

c) [b']Monday happens to be the anniversary of the the UK's Great Patriotic War against Argentina thirty years back.[/b] Which story do you think that the media will focus public attention onto?

 

The last thing that UK gov want are the plebs talking, (or even knowing), about this.

 

@HaloReachMan123 - Yes. Anal is technically illegal in the UK but only usually gets invoked if a vindictive bastard wants to throw the book at someone. BTW I remember reading that in at least one US State Oral was classified as "bestiality" on the statutes and hence illegal there too

[Guest Deliria]

.... Well, another reason to resent the Tories (and believe me, I have a lot more) this is too bloody far. Now they're trying to tell us how to have private fun times aswell as take away support for companies/charities/colleges/etc. Bugger.

[Guest GingerTom]

People just don't realize how many countries (many, many) have exactly those same type of laws on the books--and worse they enforce them: In my country (not England) you may legally marry a 16 year old but if you take a sexy picture of her (and get caught with it in your wallet) then you can spend years in jail for possession of CP even though she's your wife just because she's under 18.

 

No stories, cartoons, drawings, paintings of you-know-who allowed--and that includes work by the old masters.

 

No S&M of anybody (adults.) No play/pretend rape allowed (talking adults here, of course--but still not allowed.)

 

You are, however, allowed to share a bed with another adult--even gays have that right.

 

I wonder if it's illegal for a straight and a gay to share a bed together? I'm sure it must be since it's still illegal to hitch your horse to a post on Main Street on Sunday during church hours.

 

 

 

 

[roriki]

I'm still hoping this is just an april fools joke that is being taken too far.

 

The whole "do it on a day to keep it under the radar as much as possible" is starting to worry me, now that you have mentioned it...

[labrat]

Theresa May, Home Secretary ("Homeland Security capo di capi" to US citizens) has allayed our fears:

 

"The ordinary person has nothing to fear....."

 

"Our targets are terrorists, paedophiles, criminals and those who seek to cover their tracks on the internet and keep their communication secret"

 

Oh boy. It's the church vs the printing press all over again. Why oh why do the authorities never learn. Thousands will suffer - including the little children - because nothing gives the ruling classes the willies more than genuine freedom of expression and communication of same.

 

And that is only truly possible if the expression can be made without comeback.

 

And that is only truly possible if the expression can be made anonymously.

 

NOTE: do not confuse this with any "organization" calling itself "Anonymous"

 

Intelligence Ops 1.01

 

 

"crusaders" put the wind up the authorities. Seems that every generation spawns a new crowd who want a "Cause". Tricky thing is when the "Cause" is against:

a) unpopular but profitable wars,

environmentally destructive but profitable "development"

c) socially destructive but profitable commercial activity

d) morally corrosive but profitable vivisection

 

etc.

 

Best tactic currently. They are Young and Dumb. Use that. It should be easy to divert their energy against an unprofitable target - I know, internet perverts. No one will stand up for them.

 

Sigh, oh for the recent past when it was so easy to find out where they lived, and.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[FusRoDah]

Announcing Serious News is never a good idea around april fools. XD

 

 

Actually' date=' it's a smart choice:

 

a) The papers concentrate on "silly stories"

It's a Sunday - most people are at home, so no office twittering or bored news scanning

c) [b']Monday happens to be the anniversary of the the UK's Great Patriotic War against Argentina thirty years back.[/b] Which story do you think that the media will focus public attention onto?

 

The last thing that UK gov want are the plebs talking, (or even knowing), about this.

 

@HaloReachMan123 - Yes. Anal is technically illegal in the UK but only usually gets invoked if a vindictive bastard wants to throw the book at someone. BTW I remember reading that in at least one US State Oral was classified as "bestiality" on the statutes and hence illegal there too

Wat. Waitwaitwait... Slow down... How can oral be classified as bestiality?

 

 

It's not like Porn is illegal though' date=' (with exceptions to Bestiality and CP), So the only problem here will be a violation of Privacy.

 

[/quote']

 

Guess again.

 

Any depiction of sexual activity is illegal in the UK unless retailed through and in a licensed premises having first been certificated as 18Restricted or equivalent.

 

Depictions of "extreme" pornography will not be certificated and possession of such material is illegal, which definition includes simulation of bondage, SM practices, non-consensual intercourse, anything else we consider "extreme" and even (though this is usually tolerated) anal intercourse. Of course even simulated CP or bestiality or necrophilia (including sex with the undead) are strictly illegal. Drawn or computer generated or what have you is categorized exactly the same as cinematic or photographic. The pixels have to be protected whether they are consenting or not.

 

Really?!? Porn is Illegal? Well, That takes away all the plusses of moving to England as an alternative to moving to America. >.>

 

those who seek to cover their tracks on the internet and keep their communication secret"

Wait... Having Privacy is illegal too?

 

All these stuff man... Did the KGB infiltrate the UK? XD

[oblivionwithdongs]

tor is pretty goddamn fast nowdays

so it looks like i'll be using it exclusively next time i'm in england.

[labrat]

tor is pretty goddamn fast nowdays

so it looks like i'll be using it exclusively next time i'm in england.

 

TOR is indeed pretty neat atm, and extremely portable and simple to use.

 

Unfortunately I think that these measures are being introduced precisely to try and break TOR and its equivalents. The weakest point in the more common privacy systems seems to be the ISP. Which is why they want the power to divert the stream between your ISP and your own computer via their machinery in order to analyse and monitor it.

 

It won't work, of course, but a lot of "ordinary" people are likely to get hurt while they find out why, and human development will be just that bit more retarded.

 

It's a sad fact, but if authorities make laws which criminalise smart people you will end up with smart criminals and dumb authorities. This cycle tends to escalate until the authority is no longer capable of tying its own shoelaces or feeding itself, and a new gang takes over.

 

In the long run that is probably not a good thing for society.

 

 

 

 

[labrat]

All these stuff man... Did the KGB infiltrate the UK? XD

 

The UK notoriously has one of the longest established and powerful groups of intelligence services in the world. The UK puts more resources into the hands of its "security" services than any other comparably sized country, (and almost every larger country), in the world.

 

The gentlemen and players that efficiently managed UK security from the 16th century onward were gradually replaced throughout the 20th century.

 

The services took advantage of two world wars and one cold war to expand exponentially, which may explain the drop in standards. The new masters/mistresses have proved to be meglomaniac, (and in at least one case homicidally psychotic), civil servants who are obsessed with the accumulation and maintenance of personal power at any cost. Even if that continually means finding new wars to fight.

 

The KGB and its modern equivalents around the world are Johnny-come-latelies without the tact and finesse in the covert handling of government and populace that the UK services had refined over centuries. Any service that openly instils fear will inevitably provoke opposition and will eventually be destroyed. In the UK they learned the value of covert control long ago. The new breed are in danger of undoing all that.

 

 

 

[Ragged Robin]

Strange as it may sound, whenever I come across dismaying news such as this, the second verse of our (UK) national anthem comes to mind:

 

O Lord our God arise,

Scatter her enemies

And make them fall;

Confound their politics,

Frustrate their knavish tricks,

On Thee our hopes we fix,

God save us all!

 

Funny really, when I first heard this verse it was our own government I imagined and not some foreign power.

See you at the protest rally labrat. Perhaps we'll get adjoining prison cells. At least the conversation will be good.

[MrMan11]

If labour couldnt do it with a working majority and only shortly after the 7/7 bombings how do the conservatives who depend on the Lib Dems hope to get it through today. Hopefully the Lib Dems "liberal" streak should come through, wouldnt be too sure though you can be sure that Dave and Nick have tried everything that is on this website. On another note I had an uncle that worked for GCHQ and I believe that active GCHQ family members are kept under survaillance, my uncle was really mad at my dad for going to a communist rally, this happened duribg thatchers government famous for its lack of respect.

[Ragged Robin]

Ahh those were the days! When all one had to do was write a letter to the Grauniad questioning the wisdom of the UK nuclear policy and 24 hours later one would get a visit from someone from Special Branch posing as a window cleaner....

 

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

 

Clegg made a Faustian bargain and his gonads are firmly nailed to Cam's desk.

 

Still, one small ray of hope: The PM has recently embarrassed himself over his comments about having a "Thatcher Moment", severely hurt his standing in the polls. The Backlash might just spill over to issues.

[MrMan11]

Ahh thatcher Its amazing how wars can make or break a party.

[Ragged Robin]

Ahh thatcher Its amazing how wars can make or break a party.

 

Do you mean the declared ones like The Faulklands or the unnoficial ones like the miner's dispute, the one which involved her proxies against my old union (NGA) through Eddie Shah and the thrice damned Murdoch, Or the truly quiet ones that stomped over everyone's civil liberties?

 

I can't decide whether I'm living in a world created by Grant Morrison, PK Dick, Kafka, or Orwell with a dash of Huxley.

[MrMan11]

Well theres the Falklands which almost certainly maintained tory power for years. Then theres Afganistan and Iraq which almost certainly did the reverse for labour. Not that it matters whho is in power these days theyre all the same, damned new labour.

Speaking of special branch I thkhght it was odd that my velux windows were getting cleaned.

[labrat]

Apologies for the Necro, but dear old David C., boosted by the recent Qatar "how to fuck the internet for profit" meeting has reiterated, (through Theresa May, his voice on Homeland Security who is aging faster than Dracula under a sunlamp), his desire to to give GCHQ the carte blanche again. I believe the intent is to push it through quietly while everyone gets hot under the collar about Europe. (GB plc is stock full of yankee lovin' traitors who want nothing more than to ditch the Euro trash and sell their crack addled bodies in DC)

 

Thankfully for the rest of Europe, a plebiscite on Euro membership might mean that the contagion of government controlled internet is confined the UK (and China) once they manage to fill in the channel tunnel.

[leddis3]

It's a desire, nothing more. Cameron is an idiot, and has no idea how impractical such an undertaking would be.

You can't monitor every single internet user in the UK, and really we'd have to give them a reason to do so in the first place.