I just... need to rant.

[Spectre_15]

This is just me ranting and raging. You guys are more than welcome to give your input or ignore the topic completely.

 

So, my fiance and I had to move in with her grandmother because we moved a few states away and lack the income for a place right now. In the last few weeks I've wanted to punch this old piece of shit in the fucking face.

 

First off, my fiance is pregnant with our first baby. We are barely here. We literally do nothing but sleep and shower here. However this woman is suddenly out of the blue, demanding $300 a month from us. I understand us paying your stay here, but $300 a month to sleep, shower, and charge our phones is a bit high.

 

Like I said, we're never here. I'm working full time, looking for a second job. My fiance is always at her mom's taking care of the dog and applying for jobs online. We're also doing a lot of favors for a lot of people and running around like crazy. I haven't had a day to relax I'm 3 weeks. This old bitch tries to guilt trip us as soon as we walk in the door or go to leave. "You're never home." "Oh uhh... I was hoping for a ride to go shopping but that's okay you only help everyone else." (Again she's asking for a ride AS WERE LEAVING). Even if she offers us food and were not hungry she makes us feel guilty.

 

This is the one though that I can't even look at this fucking woman for. No one wants to interact with this psychotic self centered bitch. Thus, she texted my father-in-law and my fiances uncle saying she's going to kill herself because nobody loves her. Fuck you bitch I fucking dare you to kill yourself. Do me a fucking favor. This shit got to me big. I was ready to beat the fucking shut out of her. I've lost two of my closest high school friends to suicide. I've almost lost a third to it. When you're suicidal you don't tell people, you just do it. When you're telling people you're looking for pity and attention. Fuck you. Fucking kill yourself then. I've lost enough people that this is the number one trigger. I've attempted suicide myself. This is not something I take lightly. If your suicidal, please seek help. If you're pretending for attention, please kill yourself. Fuck you.

[GimmeBACON]

I get that you wish to vent, but, $300 is pretty decent. I pay $1,200 and deal with a jackass landlord who won't fix my roof, and I have a broken hip-bone.

[Farmthat]

You really do need to find a new place to stay. Any other family members have room?

 

I try to have a little sympathy for old people, they do get super lonely, but that's why I don't get charging you rent! If she's lonely, she should WANT you around, but at the same time she's apparently trying to drive you away... Or is just greedy.

 

That's a shitty situation. Sorry man.

[sunhawken]

The internet is the worst place to vent

[Farmthat]

I get that you wish to vent, but, $300 is pretty decent. I pay $1,200 and deal with a jackass landlord who won't fix my roof, and I have a broken hip-bone.

Rent is wildly different depending on where you live, in some places you can rent a four bedroom house for under 1000/month. Like you, I live in a place with absurd rental rates where 300 might get you a closet to sleep in.

[GimmeBACON]

The internet is the worst place to vent

Of course, everybody is suffering, and most people are suffering more then you. (Maybe not you per se, but just making a point)

Still, wishing death on someone is a pretty scumbag thing, even if they are awful, and if she did get hurt, and someone browsed your history...

[Spectre_15]

 

The internet is the worst place to vent

Of course, everybody is suffering, and most people are suffering more then you. (Maybe not you per se, but just making a point)

 

Still, wishing death on someone is a pretty scumbag thing, even if they are awful, and if she did get hurt, and someone browsed your history...

I'm not wishing death. I'm saying if you're going to pretend to be suicidal to get attention, then go kill yourself you egotistical self centered waste of existence.

[GimmeBACON]

And I'm saying that kind of anger makes your pee pee not work right

[Spectre_15]

I get that you wish to vent, but, $300 is pretty decent. I pay $1,200 and deal with a jackass landlord who won't fix my roof, and I have a broken hip-bone.

Honestly 300 isn't a lot here, $1100 is the average for a 2 bedroom, but were only here to sleep. We're not doing a fucking thing here aside from that. Honestly though what annoys me, and I forgot to mention this, is the rent just started because she can't manage her money because she spends hundreds of dollars on lotto tickets. She never mentioned rent when we talked about moving in with her a month ago. It just came up 3 days ago.

And I'm saying that kind of anger makes your pee pee not work right

While I disagree with your view on this subject, due to my very extensive personal history with suicide, I'd rather not argue so I'll agree to disagree.

[GimmeBACON]

Honestly... grow up. You were man enough to knock a chick up, switch states, and try for two jobs, but when you actually have to act like an adult and pay rent, you act like a child? Sure, it sucks, but it could be worse. That baby could come out not yours, you could lose your home, you could get hit by a car and have your olympic tryouts crushed before your eyes. (that last one was my venting)

 

Point is, be miserable if you wish, but that kind of negativity comes back full circle.

[germanicus]

Unfortunately, life is not fair to most of the people. I can cope with your situation and understand your frustration. Very sorry for your situation. Old people are known to be "heavy" and they taking a lot of our energy. Been in similar situation. In the lack of better solution you might help yourself emotionally and mentally - instead of "feeding" your frustration, try to rather accept it knowing that is only temporarily. Try to focus on your job and fiancée and don't let those circumstances get you "off the road." Listen, my friend, I'm not playing smart with you. I have been in similar situation with my grand dad (from mother's side). When my grandma died, he was alone. Since we haven't had any other/better options my parents were forced to stay. Although we fed him, cleaned after him, gave him medicine and all other stuff, he always complained to our cousins and his friends that we neglected him, that he was starving... he complained about irrational use of electricity, water and similar shit all the time. Of course, everyone attacked us. We were all under a lot of pressure. Once, I snapped and told him that he is an one old ungrateful fool. I regretted immediately after saying this to him.

Being on the edge of the breakdown, I talked to some of my wiser friends. They helped me with advices I'm sharing with you. When I understood that being old and sick influence and change old people's behaving and thinking, and when learn to accept present condition, it all became easer for me. Eight months later my uncle moved in with his wife and they took care for him. Somehow we got opportunity to move out as we did.

Now, nothing last forever. there will be a new opportunity for you guys to get out of this unpleasant situation. Until then, it is up to you how will you react. So, please, forgive me if I sounded as "being smart" and moralize to you. I don't. I just share my experience with you. Take care. Nothing can break you until you let it to break you.

Thanks for sharing your difficult situation with us.

[Shadowhawk827]

I think the problem MAY be that old folks actually grew up in a time where personal responsibility existed. 

 

I'm NOT going to tear into you TheVoid.  I know your situation is a load of stress and I've been there myself in the past when I was younger.  The key to understanding and dealing with conflict is seeing it through the other person's eyes though.  Back in her day, people had different (honestly better) priorities.  They had jobs (at least the guy did) a house and a marriage before they had a family.  Government programs and even asking others for help was considered very shameful.  The guy was expected to do whatever it legally and morally took to provide for his family.  Paying rent, even to family, was just being responsible and grateful for the help also. 

 

Soooo, she's seeing it as a fair compensation for the power usage, laundry, water, extra cleaning (however minimal), and just inconvenience of the 2 of you being there.  MAYBE she's also only seeing the fact that you had to move in and not looking at the two jobs and how hard you're working to get out of the current situation.  Same as you're not understanding the experiences that shape her view.

 

Best advice here (keeping in mind that free advice is worth what you pay for it); Sit down and talk to her.  Let her know what your plan for getting out of there is.  Explain you want to set aside as much money as possible to make that happen.  Let her know you're not out partying and wasting the money you're making (I hope so anyway).  See if you can trade a bit of help around the house for some of that rent also.  Be willing to listen to and calmly discuss her side of things too.  You'd be amazed how much progress you can make that way.

[merryMalfunctioning]

I think the problem MAY be that old folks actually grew up in a time where personal responsibility existed.

That's a fiction that they invented. Their generation had way more social supports than we do -- social supports that they scrapped as soon as they stopped needing them. Mortgage assistance, cheap college tuition, world class public schools, low taxes for the middle class, etcetera.

 

They BELIEVE that they did it all without any help, because it's human nature to think that way. Just like it's human nature to look at the younger generation and assume that they're lazy freeloaders even though they work way more hours for way less money.

 

In short, old people are the worst. They hate us for having to live in the world THEY made.

[Anatriax]

And I'm saying that kind of anger makes your pee pee not work right

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

To the OP: 

 

All I have to say on the topic is the following:

Go smoke a joint and chill the fuck out. Shit happens the way it does for a reason. Whether you're Christian and believe that God has a plan for everything, or if you're more into science (in which case the chaos of the universe happens in an orderly fashion and obeys a set of laws, which means everything happens for a reason). 

 

But yeah. Roll that joint fat and tight, put on some DMB, or Led Zepplin, and relax for a bit.

[Foulmouth]

 

I think the problem MAY be that old folks actually grew up in a time where personal responsibility existed.

That's a fiction that they invented. Their generation had way more social supports than we do -- social supports that they scrapped as soon as they stopped needing them. Mortgage assistance, cheap college tuition, world class public schools, low taxes for the middle class, etcetera.

 

They BELIEVE that they did it all without any help, because it's human nature to think that way. Just like it's human nature to look at the younger generation and assume that they're lazy freeloaders even though they work way more hours for way less money.

 

In short, old people are the worst. They hate us for having to live in the world THEY made.

 

 

Ummmm.... No

Save that shit  for Tumblr, anywhere else you just come off as a spoilt brat.

 

[pornphile]

 

I think the problem MAY be that old folks actually grew up in a time where personal responsibility existed.

That's a fiction that they invented. Their generation had way more social supports than we do -- social supports that they scrapped as soon as they stopped needing them. Mortgage assistance, cheap college tuition, world class public schools, low taxes for the middle class, etcetera.

 

They BELIEVE that they did it all without any help, because it's human nature to think that way. Just like it's human nature to look at the younger generation and assume that they're lazy freeloaders even though they work way more hours for way less money.

 

In short, old people are the worst. They hate us for having to live in the world THEY made.

 

Lowest work force participation since 1978. 50+ year olds are increasing in the labor force. Under 50s are leaving the labor force.

 

They kind of have a point...

 

[ratrace]

 

I think the problem MAY be that old folks actually grew up in a time where personal responsibility existed. 

A bit off topic but...

Over here they claim that they built up Germany after WW II. But they constantly keep forgetting that they all contributed A LOT to destroy it in the first place. Responsibility is not always just paying money for something.

 

Back to topic:

Constantly guilt charging someone after having done him or her a favour is a character flaw imho. Either you do someone a favour and do not expect anything in return or you just let it be. If the person in question returns a favour on his / her own initiative, it's fine.

[Suludi]

Agree to 200 $ and try to get out of there asap. Arguing and hating won't get you anywhere.

[Shadowhawk827]

 

 

I think the problem MAY be that old folks actually grew up in a time where personal responsibility existed. 

A bit off topic but...

Over here they claim that they built up Germany after WW II. But they constantly keep forgetting that they all contributed A LOT to destroy it in the first place. Responsibility is not always just paying money for something.

 

Back to topic:

Constantly guilt charging someone after having done him or her a favour is a character flaw imho. Either you do someone a favour and do not expect anything in return or you just let it be. If the person in question returns a favour on his / her own initiative, it's fine.

 

 

Uhhh, NO.  Hitler and the nazis contributed to destroying it by attacking everyone around them.  Granted we can trace it further back to the extreme reparations that Germany got forced to pay after WW1, and before that, the whole convoluted web of political alliances that lead to WW1 starting.  If the US was the bad guy there, they could have just slapped a surrender treaty on Germany similar to the one from WW1.

 

Similar issue with the Crusades too.  Historical revisionists love to paint it all as wars of Christian aggression, but ignore that it was a push back against Muslim invasions and conquest of the Middle East and a good portion of Spain and France before being pushed out of Europe.

 

 

As for back to Topic...  Me personally, I agree with you.  HOWEVER, the grandmother sees it as good form to pay rent for help offered.  It's not evil or selfish, it's just a different standard based on being raised in a different time.

 

 

On a vaguely related note...  I did NOT intend for my comments to trigger a generational battle here, just show that folks from that generation think differently .  I hate to sound a bit conspiracy theorist, but we need to put aside the constant us vs them mentality that's pushed on us nowadays.  All it does is keep the folks in power, in power.  They play divide and conquer, laughing at us from Washington etc... while we're busy blaming different ages, income levels and races for all our problems.

 

[Anatriax]

I still say:

Smoke some weed, chuck it in the fuck it bucket, and move on. Get out ASAP. Make a happy life for you and your family.

[windpl]

I'v seen that before, and when OP will have enough and move out, she will be crying why they move out? I would also check if she isn't snooping in your things, it is also common in such situations.

[dobmc]

trigger

 

 

 

 

 

But honestly, have you tried confronting her about this matter? Cause that's what I would do instead of wasting time writing angry texts on the Internet.

 

[jessegt]

Kill her... with kindness.

Keep your head up. You'll get there

[Spectre_15]

I'v seen that before, and when OP will have enough and move out, she will be crying why they move out? I would also check if she isn't snooping in your things, it is also common in such situations.

Her roommate actually told us she is snooping through our stuff.  I forgot to mention that.

 

As far as confronting her goes, my fiance doesn't want me to, because shes afraid that the old bitch will kick us out and we have nowhere else to turn until we can get a place of our own.

[dobmc]

So if that "bitch" tells you to leave, you would kindly volunteer to leave? Come on, at least show some courage.