Who has the most fucked up life ?

[calranthe]

This thread is for all of us who for one reason or another are in a bad situation in life or believe we are, advice and help can be given but mainly it is some kind of messed up competition because if you actually win then all you really have is the acknowledgement that yes you are fucked ask for a refund seriousely life owes you a refund.

 

My entry into this competition.

 

My life started off pretty good even my dad dying when I was 12 was not actually a huge negative because we were never that close, my mum took over and raised me in a way that made me who I am today, she supported me in anything I wanted to try, at 13 she built me a firing range in the backyard (UK was only allowed a crossbow and 3 air rifles but hell it was fun) at 15 she told me if I ever wanted to discuss sexuality she was there for me gave me a playboy subscription  and made sure I knew that the girls in those magazines weren't really reality, she was cool like that, supported me through college and university, even bought me condoms lol never judged me or tried to make me into anything I didn't want to be.

 

I was a virgin till 26, never really found a girl that interested me until a live action vampire party, love at first sight  we were it seems made for each other quite literally I mean we spent the entire party in a corner discussing the merits of Babylon 5 and Deep space 9, (she was 19 in college) she invited me over to the scifi club she ran we watched old  episodes of startrek and she asked me out officially that night.

 

Two weeks later we moved in together while everyone else told us we were mad, hell my mum felt she was after my money, paid the rent deposit on a small terrace house, we made love 7 times in that house in the first night from kitchen to bedroom and even the stairs.

 

Things were better than amazing I put together our first pc and introduced her to pc gaming (first game was elder scrolls then daggerfall).

 

Oh I forgot on our second night together we cuddled up in my room and told each other every fantasy, fetish and desire we had or wanted to try, we both explored D/s hell I became so good at it that it became a business.

 

I remember the exact moment she informed me in her own playful way that she was bisexual we were watching first wave the scifi show and traci lords was in it, now never really liked her look in movies but in that series she was a red head wearing a red satin cheongsam and she looked stunning, my love turned me me and just said I would go down on her in a second.

 

 

So a dream relationship, including many fun 3-4 people fun trysts got use to her bringing friends home for fun btw a tip if your wife ever wants to try something like that let HER choose the other partner she will have a much better idea of what you like and what might actually work.

 

Summary, perfect or as perfect as things could be and as we know life can have a cruel sort of irony.

 

Monday morning 8am I get a call from the bus depot, my gf has fainted while waiting for the bus to the college. 6 months of misdiagnosis and then the day I knew absolute and true terror, I heard my wife coughing really badly, came down stairs and as the next bout of coughing started her eyes went red and her cheek and down her throat started to go red like bruises, seems it was a rare form of leukeamia and her platelets those little things that help your blood clot had dropped to the point she was heamoraging under the skin.

 

I screamed at the doctor on the phone and he got to our house within 15 minutes he in turn screamed at the ambulance dispatcher on the phone then took me aside and told me its bad, I can't officially diagnose it but prepare yourself.

 

In the first 4 hours she had 9 pints of blood  given, long story short 2 years in hospital, no cure and a drug that keeps the cancer away but is a preventative it stops the protien forming, that same drug slowly killing my wife very slowly disabling and causing her body to whither, unable to even hug my own wife since then due to the pain it causes her.

 

16 years annerversary on 7th february 2014, I do all I can for her, make sure any game or hobby she wants to try she can, I retired and am now her 24/7 carer she is house bound but thankfully loves games as much as I do.

 

All this time my mum has supported us and pretty much adopted my wife as her own daughter I would not have been able to survive this.

 

My mum has always been as sharp as a tac I think the old saying goes, 2 months ago she forgot how to sign her own name and on the 13th february she was officially diagnosed with altzheimers dementia.

 

Don't really know what my limit is have not reached it yet, so that is my entry into "most fucked up life"

 

 

[calranthe]

No one has anything to match that, do I really win the most fucked up life situation, I was expecting some "you think that is messed up let me tell you about my day" or "nahh your life is pretty normal" maybe "I saw that on an episode of sons and daughters"  139 reads and nothing.

 

Well I have some advice for all the 139 people who read this thread:

Anything you want to do then do it today

Anything you want to say then say it today

take risks, enjoy life and realize no matter what your religion or society tells you the worst thing possible is on your last day have regrets.

Be true to yourself even if it means going against your religion or society, be yourself because really you have one shot at this.

 

Looking back is painful for me to do, I think of those first two years together, all that we did but also all that we could have done, I remember saving money for a rainy day instead of spending it and having fun, I remember putting off a holiday to egypt and plans  because we had all the time in the world.

 

We did a lot and I am grateful for that but still.

 

I met people in hospital with millions in the bank and it couldn't help them, I met all faiths, cancer seems to be the great leveler of society, people told they had days left to live and it makes you realize how little doctors know, most cancer treatments are based on trials and percentages.

 

Its like the spanish inquisition no one expects it to happen to them young or old.

 

Don't have regrets or live for tomorrow because you just may miss out on what you have now no one should be able to tell you how to live your life as long as you are hurting no one else.

 

If you treat today as if its your last then you will live a life

 

 

[...0...]

Plenty of people have it even worse then you, specially many children so maybe think about that and your is maybe not so bad situation as you think.

 

Don't mean i symphatiise with you, i realy hope your life will get better, but just saying.

 

If i had a terible fucked up life(i don't lucky me) i would not share it on some forum on the internet, but where all different offcorse and not all the same hehe.

 

[gvman3670]

I sympathize with you for sure, and I'd also suggest you're a heck of a person for remaining so supportive. Kudos, my man. You're a great person so hang in there.

 

But that's not really what I call "fucked up". Just unfortunate. But you've at least been fortunate enough to find the love of your life. Most of us never get that.

 

Fucked up would be a kid I know and used to help/work with who was prostituted (along with his younger sister) by his own parents when he was just 7 to 9 years old. The dirtbags even accepted food stamps and drugs as payment. There were 36 people convicted of having sex with those children. Now THAT is seriously fucked up.

 

I haven't had a fucked up life at all myself. I've been rather fortunate honestly.

[toshiyougan]

hah, you have a nice warm life, let me show you a fucked up life.

 

i am 28 and never ever had a GF, i never had any friend on school, the only thing i can call a friend is a new computer.

because of all the teasing and plaguing on school i can't trust anyone and that includes my own parents, i have a job but am pretty much forced to stay because of some inborn problems.

my mind can't communicate fast enough with my body, this causes my body to slow down.

in response, i can't have a normal job regardless of my study days, even with a 2 year study for bike fixer there is not a single bike fixer who would hire me because of this inborn problem.

and that's not all, because of one, i created another problem, i lose patience quite often and become mad or stressed.

the only way i can learn anything is trough practical lessons, a slap of text bores me and showing a video to teach something never go's well. (i tried learning to play guitar, would be nice if the guy slowed down before going for the advanced stuff)

 

you want to know the worst part, i have, let's cal it, an ability to see things happen before it happens.

call it insight or life experience but i am rarely wrong when i say something go's wrong, you could call this a gift but no, it isn't.

try to make that clear to anyone who wants to listen, they brand you mad or insane.

or what about the part that i work in a social working group, there is nothing wrong with it but ppl brand anyone there completely disabled or crazy.

 

not fucked up enough for yah?

[Guest endgameaddiction]

When you hit rock bottom you feel like you have the worst life. I know, I've lived in angony 16 straight solid years of my life isolating myself from the real world because I felt like I was too good for the world. I felt like I deserved better. What made it worse is putting the people I cared about through all this. I was hurting the people I loved because I was physically hurting myself. I've become Antichrist because of all this. And coming from a religous family didn't make it easy for me. Having to hear the word and being preached really wanted to make me fuse.

 

I just want to say that there truly are people out there that have a sad life experience since youth. Before you go off and criticize someone like that please don't. You can really damage someone more than what they already are. We don't want sympathy. Most of the times we just want to be left alone.

 

Most of us have had a bad situation in life. Some of us live through some really deep stuff that are just scarred in us for life.

[ToxicKetchup]

My life isn't really F'ed up, although I have had some difficult times. My inability to communicate with people, and my tendency to internalize all of my problems led to me becoming depressed, suicidal, even. I doubted people that I should have trusted, and all my bottled up fear and depression just kept building.

 

One day I decided that I'd had enough. I walked right up to my mom and told her that I wasn't the person she thought I was. That I was going to live my life as I should have been from the very beginning. That I was never her son, but her daughter.

 

It was super awkward, but her reaction was incredibly positive. Since then, she's been one of my major supports in my transition.

 

Everything worked out fine. Certainly far better that I'd expected, and to think that I once felt so terrible that I couldn't even

set foot outside my own house seems almost... unreal.

 

I guess I just want to say that although a lot of things in life can be extremely unpleasant, when you're on your last legs and you feel like the world's falling apart around you, hold on to hope.

 

 

Wow... That was a lot more difficult to write than I thought it would be.

[Sweatington]

Used to have a pretty fucked life, but I really can't bring myself to be sorry for myself, considering I was at most of times at fault for making it so.

 

And in response to OP, it really isn't you it's fucked up for, however, much respect to you for staying, most wouldn't.

[Guest Mogie56]

Many would walk away from a situation like that, I have much respect for you for staying and giving back to those who gave to you. that being said, you have your health, your wife and your mum's health are failing. it isn't easy losing those you love, it never is and never will be. So you do what you can with the time you have left with them and make the most of every moment. it isn't about you, it is about they're quality of life and it's up to you to add as much as you can. You have your health, use it to the best of your ability, that is what true love is all about. Make every moment as if it is they're first. I would not say you've had a fucked up life. You have a loving Mum and a loving devoted Wife, I'd say your one lucky man and your heart is much richer then most because of them. I know the frustration and the feeling that this is happening to you, but it is happening to your loved ones and it is up to you to give them all the strength you can, be there for them and never miss a moment to tell them you love them. I lost my father, my mother, my 2 sisters and my brother, I am the youngest I'm not married and I have no children but I don't see my self as having had a fucked up life for losing them. yes it is a lose and lose is painful but it is part of life and mine was pretty damn awesome because of them. Thankfully I still have my memories. I took care of them when they needed me and I have no regrets, they knew I loved them by my actions and my words.