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Good News, Bad News - II

Hitman69

By Hitman69,
in Big Board of Fun

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FetishSergal

FetishSergal

Posted
Posted

Bad news: Off with his head as well.

 

Good news: This time the bureaucracy didn't cause any delays in the procedure, the scythe is now in our possession, bring in the prisoners!

Retzushin

Retzushin

Posted
Posted

Good News: Goverments and countries all the world have agreed to world peace. All countries plead for forgiveness and wish to elect Santa as new high emperor of the world in exchange.

 

An agent of Santa has infiltrated every nuclear base on the planet and are now pointing the bombs at precise points across the world. Santa is punishing the bad this year, the good can still enjoy their nuclear winter and play in the snow.

It's truly getting festive this time of year.

Arcueid Brunestud

Arcueid Brunestud

Posted
Posted

Bad news: Wake up! Wake up! It's all just a bad dream! We are in a middle of fine mess right about here! Come on then! What are you waiting for...!!! BOOOOMMMM!!!

Artillery shell lands nearby. Argghh.... I want a chocolate-coated Alienware x51 that can also be eaten as a present.....

FetishSergal

FetishSergal

Posted
Posted

Bad news: all nukes have set off simultaneously, there is no more artillery shells, because the metals have turned to gas that is, and no more santa or Christmas... Imagine there's no heaven, above us only stars, no wars no people, imagine all the people, resting in peace... Ok bad parody, Lennon will want to see me burn for this...

Arcueid Brunestud

Arcueid Brunestud

Posted
Posted

Good news: The Third Impact is rejected and Lilith decays and dies, releasing its anti-AT Field and allowing separate beings to potentially restore themselves to physical existence if they want to, depending on the strength within their hearts.

Arcueid Brunestud

Arcueid Brunestud

Posted
Posted

Good news; I strongly believe that the post above me is rather a figure of speech of which I cannot help but to correct it from a medical and biological point of view. The first disease is a misconception of EBOV pathophysiological behaviour, and thus completely rejected. The second one is a symptom and not a disease and is common of which the general causes are many, far and wide. As for the last one, there is no such thing as voice cancer since voice cannot contract cancer, but vocal cord (larynx) can and proven.

 

In a nutshell, I am completely save from this fabrication of malignant disease. However, rather of having a genuine, manly, and smexy Scottish accent, I am doomed forever to speak a mangled and bastardisation version of English, and forced to take Coricidin HBP orally on daily basis, which I must stress, are all terrible as in and of themselves.

 

The good news is, there is these group of really beautiful looking, young, energetic, and totally legitimate lasses came forth and offered me a medieval remedies for my supposed maladies of which I reckon the treatments are to spend the night raunchily until morning or there is no sufficient ATP available to proceed for the next activities. Bon appétit!

FetishSergal

FetishSergal

Posted
Posted

Très bon!

 

You've had a great time with these medieval chicks and you've uncovered my fictitious maladies, thus leaving them in the realm of bad and debunked pseudomedicine.

 

The bad news however is, that those chicks were all targeted by the FBI for a drone wipeout, you've been mistakingly painted as a terrorist target just because you happened to be with them, a signature strike of massive ordnance has been deployed at 3 A.M. in the morning and has succesfully whiped you from the face of the earth.

Arcueid Brunestud

Arcueid Brunestud

Posted
Posted

Good news: Good news everyone! Thank God we were shagging under this solid, fortified, laminated, incensed, double solidified, laminated again, oiled, poured some human remains as a good charm, covered with sacrificial metal to avoid corrosion, chromed, rose-scented, sound-proved, nuclear-tested underground facility, lest we were to become the soil itself. I am informed that some of you are targeted by the Big Brother. Fear not. Follow me into this trans-dimensional-transporter portal that I'd created so we may safely continued our amorous activities elsewhere without the piercing eyes gazing about us.

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