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Rose66

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All this stairs metaphors, the main actor should've been renamed Johny Step. instead of Depp. ^^

 

Jokes aside, I've read till page 15. I think that while the content in itself (philosophical considerations over symbolic elements of life, carried by a dream-like material) is interesting, it cannot support a whole story just by itself. Story which is, if not near completely uneventful, really really slow paced. And it so happens that to create the desire for a reader to continue his/her read, the content must be entertaining : scenario twists, story events, humor, action, mystery, eye-candy images or fascinating lore, catchy dialogues, and so on. Till that page, you've only worked upon mystery... and that's all. And as nothing happens, your images (characters talking -> characters stares -> characters talking and so on) also become rather repetitive. Not to mention that the text, which should've been the most cared feature, is small and deformed.

 

So while I don't want to seem harsh, I think that to get more popular, your work would gain at being refocused on reader's entertainment. Because if the reader isn't entertained, as catchy as the title might be, he'll just stop reading. Anyway, gave a like for the originality, as philosophical essays are rather infrequent on LL. :classic_smile:

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11 hours ago, Tirloque said:

All this stairs metaphors, the main actor should've been renamed Johny Step. instead of Depp. ^^

 

Jokes aside, I've read till page 15. I think that while the content in itself (philosophical considerations over symbolic elements of life, carried by a dream-like material) is interesting, it cannot support a whole story just by itself. Story which is, if not near completely uneventful, really really slow paced. And it so happens that to create the desire for a reader to continue his/her read, the content must be entertaining : scenario twists, story events, humor, action, mystery, eye-candy images or fascinating lore, catchy dialogues, and so on. Till that page, you've only worked upon mystery... and that's all. And as nothing happens, your images (characters talking -> characters stares -> characters talking and so on) also become rather repetitive. Not to mention that the text, which should've been the most cared feature, is small and deformed.

 

So while I don't want to seem harsh, I think that to get more popular, your work would gain at being refocused on reader's entertainment. Because if the reader isn't entertained, as catchy as the title might be, he'll just stop reading. Anyway, gave a like for the originality, as philosophical essays are rather infrequent on LL. :classic_smile:

So it is, right, Tirloque..? “why would someone make a sacanagem of these…? people come to have fun, and ends up having to read a lot of shit… an entire page spoken, and the understanding of something always submitted to four different angles: and none image truly interesting: that which will happen, never happens, worse than Lost, the mystery never clears itself up… and the person be obligated to read the bible, without that any pleasure may be obtained with this… the story is of sex, but sex really, it doesn’t have: it is not according to the philosophy, as it should be. How much waste of S3 material…[!] that the community worked hard”: yes, this is almost ‘unjustifying the use  of a tool’, a waste: “it would be enough doing just a couple things, and… that would be a pleasure.”

Yea, we’re in the part one, of 66… and the script is not exactly an individual speaking of a character, Johnny Depp is slow as a lizard, he talks a lot and is a ‘chato’… this story was written about 4 years ago, he was yet beginning with Amber, a lot of things happened with him at that moment, and the story was only liberated now. All the actors had similar problems in their personal lives, in mode that a new life was offered for them. You don’t know what’s dream, you don’t know what’s desire, you haven’t the understanding of the Book,  and the story is a personal quest. In the moment, you’re in the condition of observer, and for this, outside of the story: you need to re-read it again, and go until the end , because it’s not exactly a condition of game: the sense of the eyes it’s not of an “expression”: but a marking up of black box: they happen, always, in middle a duality, where the angle possess an spatial deformity. There exists a structure, which’s the core of an action, a quite few known phenomena, on hippocampus level, the human eyes are spectral: this means that the human being only sees the front, in mode that the unique thing that you see is an image. The stories will give a treatment in the disconfiguration of the image, for this, that which you called “redundancy”, or “excess of words”, it never refers to the same angle. And it was that which I’ve already said here before, it’s a gift for LoversLab, a form of my thanks, and that this first phase, it is under the conditions of the Biblical understanding, and a lot of these things may only make sense for Cardinals and Rabbis: but the second phase is quite different. For this I think so that, even though upset, continue reading, the dynamic will be another: the words will simply disappear: and another language will be in background. The Biblical passage, technically, was already made, but the distaste had to be put forward, because indeed, the reality it’s not a taste for the nature.
See if it's better like this... some images of the part II and the part III in att. For reading with a better resolution, read it at this [x] link.

excerpt of JDepp part IV story.JPG

misc excerpt from JDepp part II.JPG

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5 hours ago, rose66_ said:

So it is, right, Tirloque..? “why would someone make a sacanagem of these…? people come to have fun, and ends up having to read a lot of shit… an entire page spoken, and the understanding of something always submitted to four different angles: and none image truly interesting: that which will happen, never happens, worse than Lost, the mystery never clears itself up… and the person be obligated to read the bible, without that any pleasure may be obtained with this…

Well that's the issue, Rose. People do keep reading the Bible without it being pleasing (nor particularly well written btw) because they have reasons, motivations to do so. It could be regarded as an historical or educational, even sacred book by some, all the more reasons to read it despite its lack of entertainment.

 

But what about recreational reads ? It is by essence a type of work that, not being primarily educational, has to be entertaining. It is entertainment ; so it it fails at keeping the reader entertained, then it's a failure, as the reader does not really have other reasons to read it. There are quantities of ways to entertain, sex only being a minor part of it : the staging, scenario twists, punchy dialogues, interesting stakes, good character design, fascinating universes, tonic action scenes, humor, immersive narratives & lore, a stylish writing style... Mastering only some of those do create entertainment. 

5 hours ago, rose66_ said:

Yea, we’re in the part one, of 66… (...) In the moment, you’re in the condition of observer, and for this, outside of the story: you need to re-read it again, and go until the end , because it’s not exactly a condition of game: the sense of the eyes it’s not of an “expression”: but a marking up of black box: they happen, always, in middle a duality, where the angle possess an spatial deformity. (...) The stories will give a treatment in the disconfiguration of the image, for this, that which you called “redundancy”, or “excess of words”, it never refers to the same angle. And it was that which I’ve already said here before, it’s a gift for LoversLab, a form of my thanks, and that this first phase, it is under the conditions of the Biblical understanding, and a lot of these things may only make sense for Cardinals and Rabbis: but the second phase is quite different. For this I think so that, even though upset, continue reading, the dynamic will be another

There is the point were we disagree, Rose. If the reader isn't entertained in some way, he gets bored. If he's bored (more over with content he didn't buy), then he just stops reading.

 

That's the difference between content designed as entertainment, and content aiming at other objectives (such as the bible). If it takes 66 times 100 pages in order to get entertained, then either it's not entertainment, either it should be re-thought to become so.

5 hours ago, rose66_ said:

See if it's better like this... some images of the part II and the part III in att. For reading with a better resolution, read it at this [x] link.

excerpt of JDepp part IV story.JPGmisc excerpt from JDepp part II.JPG

The images displayed in your post do have a better resolution. But the ones linked [x] here do not. Regardless, that's a minor issue.

 

 

Anyway, please understand that I'm not resentful in the least regarding your work. I was just suggesting ways in order for it to get more readers and popularity. But maybe this is not what you're aiming at. Smiley_jap_HFR.gif

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8 hours ago, Tirloque said:

Well that's the issue, Rose. People do keep reading the Bible without it being pleasing (nor particularly well written btw) because they have reasons, motivations to do so. It could be regarded as an historical or educational, even sacred book by some, all the more reasons to read it despite its lack of entertainment.

 

But what about recreational reads ? It is by essence a type of work that, not being primarily educational, has to be entertaining. It is entertainment ; so it it fails at keeping the reader entertained, then it's a failure, as the reader does not really have other reasons to read it. There are quantities of ways to entertain, sex only being a minor part of it : the staging, scenario twists, punchy dialogues, interesting stakes, good character design, fascinating universes, tonic action scenes, humor, immersive narratives & lore, a stylish writing style... Mastering only some of those do create entertainment. 

There is the point were we disagree, Rose. If the reader isn't entertained in some way, he gets bored. If he's bored (more over with content he didn't buy), then he just stops reading.

 

That's the difference between content designed as entertainment, and content aiming at other objectives (such as the bible). If it takes 66 times 100 pages in order to get entertained, then either it's not entertainment, either it should be re-thought to become so.

The images displayed in your post do have a better resolution. But the ones linked [x] here do not. Regardless, that's a minor issue.

 

 

Anyway, please understand that I'm not resentful in the least regarding your work. I was just suggesting ways in order for it to get more readers and popularity. But maybe this is not what you're aiming at. Smiley_jap_HFR.gif

 

Yes, yes, Tirloque, my worries are another… . You must have in mind that the entertainment isn’t neither the love nor the nature: but a conditioning to an acceptation: which comes, progressively, losing its entire effects, in all the kinds of media:  it doesn’t go beyond a replication: the understanding of the nature as parables, little fairies, sick and monsters, vanished its possibilities. The entertainment is a form of suffering: but, however, is understood as a pleasure. In mode that the stories don’t have how to be an entertainment, this one, which carries the concordance of the commercial… I understand my work as a memory, launched to the time. But Johnny Depp, in the stories, will transform himself into a lizard, and will go back to the nature, because, it’s exactly this that he’s trying to do. In mode that the best form of talking about these things is in the way that the stories are being written, the most well-structured critic made to the Christianism and the Philosophy of the Occident. You say, “Anne, there’s other form of doing this..”: and I tell you, there isn’t. The humanity misunderstood its moment, in mode that the memory of an acceptation is being forgotten, and these stories are a living document of how and why this happened.

But the stories will evolve, yes, in a different ‘atmos’, and you may yes understand them, and even like, as an alternative form of entertainment. The story of Depp is an institutional story, work and family, society and the world, and Depp, for this, may have this interpretation of “boring”, but its dynamic it’s quite different, this is only an introduction, and even for this, the volume.

The rationality will be reconducted, and will take a device into another kind of language, the language of the dreams… the image it’s not a dream, you have to perceive this. And the stories have this capacity, because, the rationality was already placed forward, and all this which was spoken in the before, will only have sense in the after, when the perfusion of the stories begin happening.

In mode that I insist, even though upsetting yourself, continue reading.

Thank you,

Best regards.   

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