After parting from Leijona, it took Niyleen less than ten minutes to arrive to the entrance to the lair. She stopped and stared at it as if the trapdoor was booby-trapped. “What if they’re dead? What if they couldn’t tackle their tasks? What if I sent Carci and my sister to their graad?!”

Then you’d be alone AGAIN. Big deal, so what?

“So what?” Niyleen felt betrayed by Nega’s question.

Yeah, so what? The two of them are only going to hold you back. What you NEED to do is recruit the Dragonborn, that damn orc and Leijona. That’s a team that can easily handle whatever foolishness you get them into.

Niyleen clenched her fists and dropped her head. “We’ve all got to accept the haal we’re dealt, Nega…”

Even when that ‘haal’ makes the whole world turn against you?

“You did that to yourself!”

But did the Third?

Niyleen remembered the Third’s tragic cycle. From the beginning she didn’t have a chance to win. Abandoned and enslaved. Sure she enjoyed a pretty grand rags to riches story, going from a mere slave girl to the Jarl of multiple Holds, but for her to get played by Clavicus Vile like she was… Niyleen entered the lair and landed softly. “She was just unlucky.”



Niyleen looked around and was refreshed. The lair was in the same condition that she left it, damp, unorganized and… “Empty… No Telind be snappy with me. No Nyleine slaving away over the alchemy table making another of those half and half potions or resting up because I was inadvertently tearing her soul apart. No Carciel giving me little looks here and there—!”

Niyleen sat down on the bed and sighed. “How could I have been so blind…” She said as she finally realized when she noticed that Carciel was acting differently towards her. It was in Markarth, after the fight with Teresa and the vampires. Carciel had been treating her roughly just that afternoon, but almost like the flip of a coin she did an instant 180. She was kinder to her, gentler, more understanding…

“I’m such a mey… fuck…” Niyleen realized she never settled things with Carciel about that kiss and just thinking about that moment made her heart race.

Again with your melodrama bullshit. Anyway, we need to talk. You are NOT okay.

“Fos los hi talking about?”

Listen to yourself! What did you just say!

Niyleen raised an eyebrow. “Huh? I just said…” She tried to remember but was coming up blank. However, she knew what she meant to say. “D-didn’t I say, ‘What are you talking about?’”

You said, ‘Fos los hi talking about.’ The fact that you don’t remember, that you have to ask means that you don’t even know it’s happening to you. Do you remember something that Trineiya so inelegantly said? About you being the glue that holds ‘you’ together?

Niyleen nodded. “I remember her saying something about that. What’s that supposed to mean?”

It was something the Second had said to her once she found out about me. A theory. Stop being a bystander and explain!

True… that would be for the best. The Second paused for a few moments. You see, when Nega became known to me I found out about everything all at once. Even some of the instances she’s failed to share with you. I explained this to Trineiya, who was an ex-Thalmor agent at the time and she said it’s possible that the final Cycle will probably be ended by a version of Niyleen that holds traits of all her past selves. It seemed so improbable but thinking about it now—

“Wait what? Zu’u los nunon zey! I don’t have any of you all’s traits!”

But don’t you? Nega said. Nothing that’s happened to you, to US, has been happenstance. You THINK that you’re on the wrong side of the law by chance? That’s the Second through and through. She never saw a pocket she didn’t like and never turned down a contract with money attached. You think that you being a slave or being a forced unpaid laborer at multiple points in your life was random? The Third—

“Okay,” Niyleen said as she rose from the bed anxiously. “Let’s say I korah hi. You and I have nothing in common Nega. Nid!”

If you only knew… Tell her, Second.

Fourth… Niyleen… To be totally honest, you’re more like the Fir—Nega than you think. Attitude, aptitude, fighting prowess, how you form relationships both romantically and platonically. It’s probably because of how long she’s been influencing you—

“What in Oblivion are you talking about!? I’m nothing like this stuck up, raging bitch! I’d never sell my soul to a Daedric Prince! I’d never kill my best friend! I’d never—”

Listen up hinzaal bitch, whether you like it or not, you’re my spitting image in terms of personality. Loner who attracts others? A mean, cocky, smart ass who’s extremely caring and understanding to the ones she cares for? The kind of person that doesn’t seek love, but when she finds it refuses to let go?

Niyleen was shocked. She knew that the person Nega was describing was herself, but for Nega to act like those words reflected her image as well. “You’re nothing like that!”

You wound me Flame-Child. Just because the Second and I decided to show you me at my worst, doesn’t mean I wasn’t exactly as I said I was. Don’t believe me? Let me take over and meditate. You’ll see I’m no liar.

 

(!! Why am I hesitating? Just let her do this, let her prove herself wrong so you can get past this!)

(You know she’s right) said that voice that had invaded her mind ever since the fight with Leijona. (You know she’s telling the truth and you’re afraid. Afraid that you could become like her… tainted, corrupted by the Daedric Princes and hated by those you love so dearly)

 

“Shutupshutupshutupshutup!!!”

If you hate the thought so me being in control so badly, then that’s fine. But until you let me reveal this to you, you’re going to continue to be blinded by your misguided judgments…[/size]

For once we are in agreeance…

 

And then both Nega and the Second went silent. “Nega? S-Second?” When they didn’t answer, Niyleen felt an eerie chill course through her body. “H-hello? Are… are you serious? H-h-hey, say something!!!” Something shattered behind her and Niyleen almost fainted. (What in Oblivion is wrong with me?) She slapped her cheeks trying to psyche herself up. (Alone or not, you’re still the Child of the Flame. You’re still your mother’s, Bandit Warlord Nanika’s, daughter! You’re still—)

“Inconsequential… you’re weak and feel like you’ll never belong.” Niyleen’s eyes widened as she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She knew that ghosts existed, but she never thought that she’d see one suddenly appear before her without warning. Something about it was strange though. It felt familiar in multiple ways, reminding her of both Telind and… someone else…

 

“I’m… I’m not inconsequential!“ Niyleen said defiantly. "I have somewhere I belong!”

“Do you? When have you ever felt at ‘home’? You’d probably want to say here, but you can’t. You were just acting like a leech to Nyleine, which made you not be around as much as you wanted to. What next, when you lived with your parents? You hated your father but craved his attention, you loved your mother but didn’t want to be anything like her. Your father killing you was probably the best thing that could have happened to yo—”

Unable to contain her anger any longer, Niyleen sliced at the ghost but to no avail. “Don’t you DARE say that!”

“What? Can’t handle the truth? What about how ever since you left your parents you’ve been roaming from bandit camp to bandit camp trying to find a place where you fit in? What about how you’ve NEVER been alone by your own volition, and even when you technically were alone you still had Nega to hold your hand and talk to you? You have to have people around, but you never feel at ease around any of them. THIS is why you hate Nega, not for what she’s done, but because that crazy bitch is possibly the only person who you can truly be yourself with. And that scares you. It scares you that now that even SHE’S abandoned you, you will simply go back to feeling alone and out of place in the world.”

Niyleen couldn’t control herself, and attacked the ghost frantically until it disappeared and the Halfling had worn herself out. But she wasn’t satisfied for she knew her flurry did absolutely nothing and although it was invisible, that the ghost was still here. “Stop playing with me… If you want to fight, I’ll give you a fight!”













“Always looking for an excuse to let loose. Typical. Just like your other incarnations.” The ghost’s taunts echoed throughout the lair, each word fueling Niyleen’s rage. “If I recall correctly that was supposed to mean that you are their ‘glue’? But no, you’re more like their last hope, they can’t help but have faith that you’ll be the one to end the Cycles because they both failed and it seems like you might just be able to do it.”

“I will do it!”

The ghost suddenly reappeared before Niyleen making her fall on her rear. “So you proclaim, but I’ve seen the truth. I know that there’s going to be a Fifth, a Six, and heck even a Seventh! You called Ruby crazy, you called her insane for joining the side of the Daedric Princes, but when your future is so hopelessly laid out where resistance equaled your demise… why struggle? Is it not you and your allies that are the insane ones? After all, you keep doing the same thing expecting a different outcome.”

Ruby’s words echoed in Niyleen’s mind: “Try TO FUCKING STAY SANE when you see the same little girl die three times in front of you and no matter what you do, no matter how you plan to save her, you just can’t!”

Niyleen rose to her feet and sheathed her weapon. “You and Ruby may be right. Maybe my resistance really is all for naught. But how will I know unless I see this through?”

The ghost glared at Niyleen momentarily and then disappeared. “Fine, if that’s how you want to play it. When next we meet, your end will be at hand!”

Tension dispersed as the ghost said her final words and Niyleen collapsed from exhaustion. Now that she was able to think straight something was familiar about that ghost, but she couldn’t quite point it out. Letting out a deep sigh, Niyleen closed her eyes and said in a low defeated tone, “Fine Nega…you win…”



The all too familiar dark aura immediately wrapped itself around Niyleen and lifted her off the ground until she was back to a standing position. Stretching, Nega let out a relieved breath and said, “Aaaaah, it always feels great to be in control!” After moving around for a little bit, Nega got serious and sat down. “I win huh?” She smirked and closed her eyes. “I haven’t even begun to win. You’ll see.” And then she began her deep meditation.

 

*
 

“Niyleen? Niyleen!”

Nega looked at the Nord quizzically as she wrenched her blade from her fallen opponent. “What’s wrong, Love? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

 

The blonde Nord rolled her eyes. “You know I’m bad with skeletons and necromancy, Niyle. And I told you I didn’t want to come here in the first place!”

Nega went over to her and wrapped her up into a passionate kiss that left the Nord breathless. “Do you want me to make it all better then, Cari?”

 

Niyleen: Lucari!? W-what am I seeing?

Second: This is one of the Firs—of Nega’s memories. She, like you and I, fell for Ceolrianna. Unlike me however, the two of you became enamored with Lucari after her the Breton’s death.

Niyleen: So how is this supposed to—

Second: Just shush and pay attention.

“I-I-I think… I think you’re making it worse,” Lucari said with a smile.

Nega rolled her eyes and kissed her once more. She always loved the taste of the Nord and if she had it her way, it would accompany each of her meals. After she felt satisfied with how flustered Lucari had become, Nega backed away and smiled, until she took a better look at the Nord. “You… you’re injured?”

 

“It’s just a sprain,” Lucari said. “I’ll just walk it off.”

“Don’t try to mask this with a smile! You’re hurt! Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I-it’s not that big of a deal Niyle,” Lucari said while looking away. “You’ve told me plenty of times about how injured you guys get when out retrieving a bounty. I knew what I was getting myself in—!!”

Without a word Nega lifted Lucari into her arms and carried her off towards Solitude all the while ignoring her lover’s pleas to be let down.

 

Niyleen: Why… does she seem so protective of Lucari? Isn’t Lucari a skilled warrior in her own right?

Second: Wouldn’t you have acted the same way? Think about it. Listen to your heart, if Lucari had been injured because of you wouldn’t you act the same way?

Niyleen: …

 

Nega had made it to Dragon Bridge before having to stop because of all of Lucari’s struggling. After laying the Nord on the bed and then paying for the room, Nega returned to Lucari to see the blue eyed Nord’s cute face twisted with rage. “What in Oblivion was that!? I’m not some child! I’m not some defenseless little girl, Niyleen! And a room? Really? We’re almost at Solitude! Why waste your money like this?”

 

 

(Niyleen…) Nega felt wounded by that. Lucari had never called her by her full name, and hearing her say it with such disdain made Nega literally want to discard it completely. “I… I was only—”

“I love you Niyleen, but you’re going to have to understand, I’m not like your other traveling companions. I don’t need to be babied. Just because you’re with the Legion and happen to be Dragonborn, doesn’t mean that you need to act like I’m on the same level as everyone else. I am not beneath you!”

Niyleen: Lucari was kind of rough in this cycle. Is this her true self?

“I… you’re not like everyone else. You’re special…”

“Oh, so that’s it? I already know that you’ve had relations with all your other ‘friends’, and apparently Ceolrianna was cool with that. To be completely honest, even I’m fine with that. I mean you’re the Dragonborn. With so much riding on you and your actions, I can’t be mad if your feelings fly off to another person from time to time… But I’m NOT okay with you pretending as you need to act differently towards me just because I’m your only friend you haven’t bedded!”

Niyleen: I—Nega slept around?

Second: Yes. She used to brag about it all the time when I was with Ceolrianna. It was annoying to no end.

 

Nega pounced on Lucari and pinned her to the bed. “S-so, since I won’t give it up you’re just going to take it by force? Ha! And here I thought you were better than that.”

Nega gave Lucari such a fierce glare that even Niyleen shied off because of it. “I… You… You ARE special to me, Lucari! I wouldn’t have noticed your injury otherwise until you started lagging behind if you were anyone else. Lucari… you make me feel things I haven’t felt since Ceolrianna died. Feelings that I was so desperately trying to replicate with everyone else… you made bloom so easily.”

“A-and,” Lucari said shaken by Nega’s sudden outpour of affection. “T-that still gives you no right to treat me like—”

“I love you,” Nega said bluntly.

Niyleen: That… lacked tact.

Second: At least she was honest and open about it. At least she let the poor girl know.

“I love you and whether or not I want to, I notice everything about you and take it all into consideration when dealing with you. I know you’re stubborn and have a few things to prove not only to the world but to yourself. I know that you’re strong, and hate being second to anyone especially me. I know that you hate being treated like a so-called ‘damsel in distress’. And believe me I know you’re anything but a child Lucari. You’re one of the strongest warriors I’ve ever fought alongside and against. But… I don’t give a damn about any of that! If I see you in danger, I’m going to protect you. If I see you struggling, I’m going to assist you. If I see you hurting, I’m going to relieve your pain!”

She got off of Lucari and turned away from her. “If you can’t handle that, then we shouldn’t be doing this. I don’t want to see you get hurt, but if we continue having this relationship with each other… with how I am… I only see me hurting you further.” Lucari tried to get up but Nega stopped her from doing so.

 

“I see… Was Ceolrianna alright with this? Being babied to this extent?“ Lucari asked. Nega stared at her without uttering a word. “I see… Then I guess you’re right. Let’s end our relationship now.”

Niyleen: C-cold…

 

Nega immediately fell to the floor and began bawling her eyes out. (I thought I was ready for this! I really did… but now…) Her tears just continued to flow and when Lucari didn’t try to comfort her Nega knew it truly was over between them.

 

 

When her tears had dried up, Nega got to her feet and with as much of a smile as she could muster said, “I-I-I… g-guess this w-was for the b-best…”

Niyleen: This isn’t Nega! She’s… she’s not this fragile! Where’s her usual strength? Where’s that arrogant 'better-than-thou’ attitude she’s always flaunting? She acting like… she’s acting like…

Second: You when you were mourning Eolri’s death?

Niyleen: …

 

Nega somberly walked over to the door when she heard a sigh. “W-what’s wrong?”

“I can’t believe this… you were… serious? About loving me?”

“Why wouldn’t I be…”

“But I am… and you you are… I’m a cold bitch… An adventurer no one ever wanted to travel with. Heck they even chose Uthgerd over me when I visited Whiterun… Wasn’t… wasn’t all of this just an act to sleep with me? To say that you tamed Skyrim’s best archer before you moved onto some other conquest?”

Nega shook her head. “Ask anyone,” she said gloomily. “I’ve always been up front with everyone… even when I didn’t know what words to use… I truly love you Lucari. I’ll… I’ll prove it! I’ll go to Riften, get an amulet of Mara, and confess to you in front of everyone so they’ll all know that I am yours… and you are mine.”

 

Lucari sighed again. “Whoa… you’re serious about this… I’m… Sorry Niyle, for making you cry…” She got to her feet and when Nega moved to sit her back down she stuck her palm out to halt the Halfling. “I-I get that you’re protective of me and all, but as you said… I’m stubborn. I can’t just immediately accept you doting on me”

She walked over to Nega and to the Halfling’s surprise planted a deep wet kiss on her lips. “And I rescind my earlier exclamation. Maybe we can make things work out, huh?”

 

 

Unable to control herself, Nega lifted Lucari off the ground and pressed her back against the wall as she began to furiously kiss the Nord up and down her—

 

*

 

Suddenly Niyleen was back in the lair and back in control. “W-wait what!? Why’d you stop? What happened next?”

I’m not about to let you see what goes on behind closed doors between me and my lovers, you damned know-nothing!

(But it was getting to the good part…) Niyleen sat back and stared at the ceiling. “What was that supposed to show me? That you’re more human than you let off?”

That, but it was also supposed to show you how similar we are… Didn’t you feel it? Weren't you affected by Lucari’s words and my actions? That wasn’t a trick. I shared my memories, but your heart shared my feelings.

Niyleen wasn’t going to say anything about it, but she did feel like she was watching herself and not Nega for some time. Just thinking about it, she could easily have replaced Nega with herself and probably done the exact same things. Niyleen grit her teeth and closed her eyes. “Why did you hesitate? Did you find out something else by doing this?”

I did… but it’s none of your concern. Not now… Heh, but interestingly enough, your random bouts of Dovahzul have ended.

“This is frustrating…” Niyleen said with a sigh.

Tell me about it. It’s annoying to know that the version of ‘Niyleen’ that doesn’t excel in anything is not only the most like me, but probably the one that’s going to end the Cycles…

 

Niyleen raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you hear that ghost? It said that what I am doing is—”

Me, the Second and now you have all seen her before. She always comes and tries to demoralize and threaten us. But it’s not worked yet, and it won’t now, right?

 

Niyleen didn’t miss a beat. “Right. If I was going to quit, I would have probably just let Ruby end it all. Heck, I would have probably let Telind finish me off.” Niyleen jumped up and smiled. “That’s right! Whether I was chosen by fate or happenstance, I’M the one the Daedric Princes are after! Running away would only mean that others would get hurt in my stead and I WILL NOT allow that!”

“Heh, now that’s the Halfling I remember…”