The Amulet of Mara was still sitting in a corner of my mind, small and heavy, when the walls of Solitude first appeared on the horizon.

I hadn't mentioned it. What was there to say? “Hey, I noticed you're wearing the same fucking marriage amulet we just talked about not using, any particular reason or is it just a fashion choice?” My conclusion was that he was trying to torture me by making me feel the same he had when I was wearing the damn thing. In which case, mission fucking accomplished.

 

That meant asking about it would play right into his sneaky little game. “Oh, this old thing? Just found it lying about and figured, what the heck!” The silence around it had calcified like my brother’s Achilles after he ruptured it twelve times over the course of one summer but hadn’t realized it until what remained snapped.

 

My brother is nearly as oblivious as Kellan.

 

But now Solitude rose ahead of us, pale stone catching the weak afternoon light, and the amulet problem got shoved aside by a different weight entirely: the knot in my chest that tightened with every step closer to those gates. It wasn’t fear -- at least, not the kind that makes your heart race and your hands shake. It was slower than that, heavier, like a stone Sisyphused right into my chest.

 

The road itself didn’t help - it curved along the coast in that long, patient way some roads have that seems designed to remind you exactly how far you still had to go. The Karth estuary stretched to our right, blending with seamless abandon with the swampland beyond; sheer cliffs rose to our left. Wind carved its opinions into both with equal enthusiasm.

 

Kangme walked ahead, as always -- precise, tireless, a living embodiment of efficiency. Kellan stayed beside me, close enough that our shoulders brushed now and then, though neither of us acknowledged it.

 

Once Solitude’s spires appeared, pale stone rising out of the rock like it had decided gravity was optional, I kept my eyes on the road under the same logic that those sunglasses in Hitchhiker’s Guide did. You know, the ones that turned completely dark only when you saw something dangerous on the grounds that if you can’t see it, it can’t hurt you? It was like that, and worked just as effectively. 

 

“Okay,” I said abruptly.

 

Kellan glanced over. “That sounds like the opposite of okay.”

 

I blinked, startled -- I hadn’t actually realized I had spoken out loud.

 

“Yeah, well…” I exhaled hard, then lowered my voice, glancing ahead to make sure Kangme was far enough away. “I need to say something before we get there.”

 

“All right.”

 

I hesitated, then pushed through it before I could talk myself out of it. “I’m giving serious consideration into going AWOL.”

 

He blinked. “Go…what?”

 

“AWOL. Absent Without Leave. It’s…” I made a vague gesture. “Military thing. On Earth, anyway. It means you just…leave. Don’t come back. Stop following orders. Disappear.”

 

Kellan stared at me for a long moment, then said, very carefully, “You mean…desert.”

 

“Yeah, that. But with more paperwork if they catch you.”

 

He huffed out a breath -- almost a laugh, but not quite. “And you are considering this.”

 

“I’m considering not walking back into a place where I’ll go back to wasting my time scrubbing forgotten corners and giving out handjobs like I’m the President of the fucking United Cocks.”

 

He didn’t even crack a smile, the bastard. I pressed on.

 

“I’m serious, Kellan. We could just…not go back. Head west. Or south. Or literally anywhere else. We’ve got skills, we’ve got supplies -- well, we can get supplies -- we’ve got…” I faltered. “We’ve got options.”

 

“Do we?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“No, we don’t.” He said the words quietly, which just seemed to make them louder. “You have a path. And a very large number of people who would notice if you stepped off it.”

 

I opened my mouth to argue, then stopped. Because, of course, he wasn’t wrong.

 

He went on, still that steady, grounded presence I both relied on and occasionally wanted to punch. “You’re not just another soldier, Sian. You’re…” He gestured vaguely. “You. Dragonborn. Keṣ Tshaâki.”

 

“She-Devil,” I muttered.

 

“Naasektenti as well, yes. If you vanish, they won’t shrug and move on. They’ll send people. A lot of people.”

 

I stared at the road. “Yeah, well. They can try.”

 

“They will do more than try. You have become formidable -- I’ve seen it. But there’s a difference between winning fights and living a life where every road has eyes on it.” A pause. “Also,” he added in a looser tone, “they’d be coming after me, too, because they would assume I would know where you are.”

 

I blinked. “You mean you wouldn’t toss away your entire life including everything you have worked for and everyone you love to follow me as I scurry around the world on the desperate edge of living waiting for the day a thousand soldiers show up to butcher us?”

 

He laughed. “Mmmmm…no. I think I’ll take a pass on that.”

 

“Hey! That’s an Earth phrase! Look at you, taking after me!”

 

His eyes widened in mock (I assumed) horror. “Divines save me!”

 

We both laughed, but mine turned into a sigh. “It does sound exhausting.”

 

“It would be.” Then, softer, “And lonely.”

 

I took in a breath, then exhaled, long and slow, the fight draining out of me in a way that felt suspiciously like defeat.

 

“Okay. Fine. We go back. I report in. I smile and nod and pretend I don’t want to burn half the city down.”

 

“A sound plan.”

 

“As are all of my plans.”

 

I ignored his sputtering as we continued on and the weight in my chest settled into something dull and manageable. Not gone, just…contained. Which, in my experience, is about the best you can hope for.

After a moment, I sighed. "I know it was a stupid thought."

"It wasn't stupid. It was honest." A pause. “Okay, it was kind of stupid too.”

 

We both burst out laughing again, this time garnering a glance but no more from Kangme, then walked in silence the rest of the way.

 

---

The garrison felt smaller than I remembered. Or maybe I felt larger. The corridors smelled of lamp oil and old sweat and the particular staleness of institutions that never quite air out. It somehow reminded me of my high school locker room, except with lewdness replacing the cattiness.

 

Legate Rikke was where she always was -- at the map, surrounded by markers and reports and the quiet hum of people pretending they knew what came next. She glanced up as we entered, eyes flicking over Kangme and me in a single efficient sweep.

 

“Commander,” she said. “Report.” Straight to it -- no preamble, no welcome back. At least she didn’t sound surprised.

 

“Fort Hraggstad is clear,” I said.

 

She nodded once. “Resistance?”

 

I shrugged. “There were a few dozen. To make things fair, I faced them all at once.”

 

For the first time since I met him, Kangme lost his composure – he made a choking sound that he turned into a cough before resuming his usual stoic stance. I barely contained a grin.

 

Rikke studied me for a moment longer than necessary -- just long enough that I wondered if she knew I wasn’t telling the whole story -- then nodded again. “Good work.”

 

That was it. No questions. No digging. Just…acceptance. I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or offended.

 

“You’re just in time,” she added, already reaching for a document. “New orders came in this morning.”

 

She slid a scroll across the table. I picked it up, broke the seal, and read fast. My stomach dropped halfway through the objective.
________________________________________________________________________

IMPERIAL LEGION – NORTH PROVINCE COMMAND

Office of Special Operations Liaison

Solitude

________________________________________

OPERATIONAL ASSIGNMENT ORDER

 

Document Code: NPC SO K/09 A

Clearance Level: Red Black (Keṣ Tshaâki)

Date Issued: 16th of Evening Star, 4E 201

________________________________________

TO:

 

Sian Fraser Elizabeth

Keṣ Tshaâki Operative, Special Forces

Imperial Legion, North Province

________________________________________

SUBJECT:

 

Field Command Assignment – Company Khi

Reach Containment Operations

________________________________________

Pursuant to Imperial Military Code §IV 19 (Special Forces Deployment Authority), Imperial Military Code §VII 12 (Temporary Battlefield Command Authority), and under discretionary command authority vested in the Office of Special Operations Liaison, you are hereby issued the following assignment:

________________________________________

1. OBJECTIVE

You are ordered to assume temporary field command of Company Khi and proceed immediately to The Reach in support of ongoing stabilization efforts.

The objective includes, but is not limited to:

Containment and reduction of identified Forsworn activity within assigned operational areas

Protection of Imperial infrastructure, supply routes, and settlements

Identification and disruption of hostile encampments, support networks, and refuges

Restoration and maintenance of Imperial security throughout designated operational zones

Support of Operation Gopherhole in accordance with instructions to be provided in the field

Implementation of any additional directives issued by authorized command personnel

________________________________________

2. OPERATIONAL PARAMETERS

Deployment Type: Independent Field Command

Acting Commander: Sian Fraser Elizabeth (Keṣ Tshaâki)

Attached Formation: Company Khi

Command Center Oversight: Remote

Area of Operations: The Reach

Timeframe: Immediate deployment upon receipt of orders

 

Special Operational Directive:

Operation Gopherhole materials, procedures, and operational requirements are classified above the clearance level of this document and will be briefed separately upon arrival in the area of operations.

Company Khi shall remain under your operational control for the duration of this assignment unless otherwise directed by North Province Command.

Given the nature of your classification and previous operational performance, broad discretionary authority is authorized regarding strategic, tactical, and logistical decision-making.

________________________________________

3. RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Standard Imperial military regulations apply.

Standard Keṣ Tshaâki engagement protocols apply.

You are authorized to employ Company Khi as necessary to achieve assigned objectives consistent with Imperial interests and regional security requirements.

Use of force beyond assigned operational boundaries requires justification in post-operation reporting.

________________________________________

4. REPORTING REQUIREMENTS

Upon completion of the assignment, or upon relief by authorized command personnel, you are to submit:

A complete after-action report

Personnel casualty assessment

Material expenditure assessment

Summary of Forsworn activity encountered

Assessment of operational effectiveness

Recommendations regarding continued Imperial operations within The Reach

Interim reports may be submitted at your discretion or upon material changes in operational conditions.

________________________________________

ISSUED BY:

Stoloric Biehls

Operations Coordinator

Office of Special Operations Liaison

Imperial Legion, Solitude

By order of North Province Command.

________________________________________

ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF RECEIPT:

☐ Confirmed

☐ Pending

☐ Refused (Note: Refusal subject to disciplinary review)

______________________________________________________________________________

"We’re going after the Forsworn? Why? Did they join the Stormcloaks?"

Rikke's brow furrowed. "The General doesn't want to make a push on Windhelm with them at our backs."

I opened my mouth, then thought better of my retort and re-closed it.

 

The fucking Forsworn. I thought of the weeks in Cidhna Mine, more often with a Forsworn inside me than not, and their leader Madanach with his calm eyes and quiet voice. Well, before the mob tore him apart.

 

And, of course, I couldn’t think of that place and not wonder where Borkul had ended up this time around. Hopefully somewhere far away from me.

 

I had no love for the Forsworn, but this seemed asinine. The Forsworn stay in their mountains, I wanted to say. They harass Markarth, which is a city so crooked it practically sweats corruption, and honestly? Good on them -- I'm Team Forsworn on that one. For the rest…they weren’t marching on Solitude. They weren’t laying siege to Whiterun. They were…contained. And now we were going to go uncontain them?

Obviously I didn't say any of that – I know when shit is above my paygrade. I just nodded, folded the scroll, and tucked it into my belt.

"Yes, Legate."

She dismissed us with a wave, already back to studying her map.

 

The walk to the inn felt longer than it should have. Not physically, just…mentally. Like each step gave my brain more time to run in circles, chasing thoughts I didn’t want to catch. By the time I reached the door, two things had settled into place:

On one hand, this was good -- no more scrubbing kitchens, no more being handed a rag and a bucket while Lazhah smirked from a distance. Company command meant I'd be out of Solitude, out from under his petty thumb.

The other hand, however, was going to be busy. Company command meant I'd be with a company. Day in, day out. Marching, camping, fighting -- and at night, when the fires burned low and the men got restless, there would be expectations. Expectations I couldn't dodge by being a Commander. Expectations that came with every woman in the Legion, no matter how many forts she'd cleared, how many ugly crowns she had found, or how many catapults she'd shattered.

 

I spent a solid five minutes going through every curse word I knew in every language I could think of, then made up more on the spot.

 

 

 

Don’t feed the bastards. Feed yourself instead.

 

 

Next chapter

 

Previous chapter

 

Start from the beginning

 

Join the Shae's Discord!

 

If you like my work, please consider supporting me by buying my book. It is good, I promise!