Loving the humor and good feelings all along the chapter. There's something a bit off however, I'm not sure if it's the anachronistic aspect of some assets (the plastic lounge chairs, some outfits), the sudden changes of scenery, or the straight-forwardness of the writing. Yet , at the same time that same writing confers an innocent and lighthearted feeling to the story. And so the chapter feels pleasant to the read. Nice share. 

39 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

Loving the humor and good feelings all along the chapter. There's something a bit off however, I'm not sure if it's the anachronistic aspect of some aspects (the plastic lounge chairs, some outfits), the sudden changes of scenery, or the straight-forwardness of the writing. Yet , at the same time that same writing confers an innocent and lighthearted feeling to the story. And so the chapter feels pleasant to the read. Nice share. 

The scenery is the GomaPeroland mod, which I use not often but only to say that the characters are on vacation.
The outfits? Well it’s their basic outfit what.
Daegon his own.
Agarmir her own.
Lilissa her own.
Lililia is a character that I created and put in my save with familiarFace SE. For the armor, I found that it fit him well.
And frankly, it still passes.
There are some blog authors, you can see their chapters and the outfits of the characters and there you can see that there are many more anacrhonisms than me frankly and I would not name.
The dialogues? Well at the same time, I’m not going to put a ton of dialogue to say "we’re going ahead, oh look at the sky" "Oh what a beautiful place, indeed there is a beautiful blue nciel and a beautiful beach".

54 minutes ago, hana120 said:

The scenery is the GomaPeroland mod, which I use not often but only to say that the characters are on vacation.
The outfits? Well it’s their basic outfit what.
Daegon his own.
Agarmir her own.
Lilissa her own.
Lililia is a character that I created and put in my save with familiarFace SE. For the armor, I found that it fit him well.
And frankly, it still passes.
There are some blog authors, you can see their chapters and the outfits of the characters and there you can see that there are many more anacrhonisms than me frankly and I would not name.
The dialogues? Well at the same time, I’m not going to put a ton of dialogue to say "we’re going ahead, oh look at the sky" "Oh what a beautiful place, indeed there is a beautiful blue nciel and a beautiful beach".

French speaker ? Regarding the outfits, the only one which I find disturbing is the one where the fabric from the boot transforms into a seamless tight around the leg. While quite nice aesthetically, it doesn't feels like middle-age tech. But yeah, it's minor so it still works. The plastic lounge chairs however...

Anyhow, I feel telling only the good sides doesn't help the authors to improve, thus I also mention the ones I think could be refined. It's criticism ! Yet, it is after all merely an honest opinion ; so you're of course completely free to do whatever you want from it.

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

French speaker ? Regarding the outfits, the only one which I find disturbing is the one where the fabric from the boot transforms into a seamless tight around the leg. While quite nice aesthetically, it doesn't feels like middle-age tech. But yeah, it's minor so it still works. The plastic lounge chairs however...

 

Anyhow, I feel telling only the good sides doesn't help the authors to improve, thus I also mention the ones I think could be refined. It's criticism ! Yet, it is after all merely an honest opinion ; so you're of course completely free to do whatever you want from it.

 

Yes. I use a translator.
After for the loungers, I use the mod not all the time.
So you wouldn’t see them after.
There’s one more chapter I’d use this place and then it’ll be back on Skyrim.

7 hours ago, Tirloque said:

French speaker ? Regarding the outfits, the only one which I find disturbing is the one where the fabric from the boot transforms into a seamless tight around the leg. While quite nice aesthetically, it doesn't feels like middle-age tech. But yeah, it's minor so it still works. The plastic lounge chairs however...

 

Anyhow, I feel telling only the good sides doesn't help the authors to improve, thus I also mention the ones I think could be refined. It's criticism ! Yet, it is after all merely an honest opinion ; so you're of course completely free to do whatever you want from it.

 

Yes. I use a translator.
After for the loungers, I use the mod not all the time.
So you wouldn’t see them after.
There’s one more chapter I’d use this place and then it’ll be back on Skyrim.