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Diary of a Dragonborn: CSI: Skyrim

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Previous: Intermission 4


There's a Cops: Skyrim series, why not CSI: Skyrim?


10:54, Loredas, 29th of Sun's Dusk.
Call came in about a "suspicious noise" at the home of Nepos the Nose, a local resident on the upper tier.
Caller reported something that sounded like "some kinda dragon sneezin' or somethin' an' hootin' an' hollerin' an' makin' a ruckus."


When we arrived on-scene, everything appeared normal.


No signs of any struggle. These people live like pigs, but that's down to them.


One unfortunate fellow was sleeping on the floor! Aside from what looks like a botched facial piercing job, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. We decided to let him sleep.


Another resident appeared to be practicing his yoga. Numerous attempts to rouse him from his meditation were unsuccessful. The Medical Examiner said it was the deepest trance he'd ever seen anyone in before.


An elderly fellow apparently has some trouble keeping warm, as the elderly so often do, and had cuddled up close to the fire before falling asleep. Rather than disturb the poor old man, we let him stay asleep.


The only remaining resident appeared to be nearly unconscious after a night of debauchery. There were no signs of foul play, so we left her draped over her chest. Probably guarding some sentimental knicknacks or something.


After a thorough search of the house, we determined that no crime had taken place. All of the residents valuables were still in the house, nothing had been stolen.


We put it down to another prank call. If Ogmund keeps making these things up, we'll contact the Thalmor division and have him arrested for wasting police time.


Next: Chapter 39, Tentacle Monsters Ahoy!

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3:22, 14th of Rain's Hand. Called out to Sovngarde to investigate reports of a disturbance. Apparently, people had been shouting at each other, and quite a brawl had erupted, leading to one dead dragon and a couple dozen dead people, considering that to get to Sovngarde in the first place you have to be dead. Upon questioning, local residents were nowhere to be found, and attempts to cross the bridge of bone lead to being blasted off by a huge musclebound man with a fetish for revealing attire. We found no evidence of any dead dragons, so we closed the case.

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