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Different opinions and disagreements


Evaloves4

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giphy.gif?cid=36b14facnnf2glvkfoor7evz6jaqqmrz19v0bx5s49i1xlb5&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g OR giphy.gif?cid=36b14facqgcd0pgj5yjbmuznswqomv4ako7rurbtkaj6gik6&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

> Different opinions and disagreements too often becomes stumbling rocks among people. We, for instance, do not let them to become our stumbling rock. My husband and wife are very vengeful and they think offenders who doesn't repent or do not apologize should be punished. They also try to reason with offenders but after second warning they just start kicking asses. I have opposite opinion and many times I am just for "Let go" option. We speak our minds, stress out our arguments and let it go. Unfortunately, there are people whose disagreements turn to their stumbling rock that destroy their relationship, communication, even marriage. Nobody is completely immune on the consequences that comes out of disagreement. They always affect us on one way or another. But the way we respond to them matters. Type of the music and movie genre are too important to some people. I remember the times when some people got offended because I didn't like certain bands, singers, songs or movies etc. And it resulted as most common reaction: "You are stupid! I don't want to talk to you!" I notice that nowadays people have less patience for those who disagree with them. They see it as attack on their ego.

 

> I am temperamental woman and although I let go many things, there are also things I can't let go. I'll fight until I win or lose. I know that our reactions are products of our character, but how do you react on those who oppose you? And do you oppose to those who doesn't like same things like you do or you just let go? Those questions can help us to see where do we stand in relation to others and what kind of person we are when someone disagree with us or doesn't like things we like.

Edited by EvalovesEP

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Quote

people have less patience for those who disagree with them. They see it as attack on their ego.

What you've noticed is very true.  There is a whole generation brought up with "protected entitlement"

Which means you are entitled to their opinion......because they have never known defeat, or been told they are wrong.

Therefore to oppose them is to attack their very existence. They exist to educate you, not you to educate them.

 

Quote

I know that our reactions are products of our character, but how do you react on those who oppose you?

I usually consider the source, and react accordingly.

My Father once said as a joke....you can lead a horse to water, but, you have to be strong and determined if you are going to drown it.

At first I used to laugh at that but later I began to see a certain amount of wisdom in it too.

  How we react to any situation is a product of our experience, but our reaction to something should not define us.

Would you react to a child if they said something you didn't like (or believe) the same way you would react to an adult.

  What if the adult is really a child? 

We expect a child to spew their venom without thought of what they are saying, and to storm off in a tantrum when you admonish them.

 We do not expect it from an adult to do this but, lately, that is all I hear and see.

    So I tend to react to them as I would any child throwing a tantrum.

 

Quote

And do you oppose to those who doesn't like same things like you do or you just let go?

I don't expect anyone to like what I like.   My opinion is just that, my opinion.

I can lead you to water, It is up to you to drink or not. ( I have no intention of trying to drown you.)

Edited by dharvinia
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I'm use to people not agreeing with me and it has given me patience and wisdom. Also to know I wasn't clear or I worded it wrong or I was just plain wrong but I've learned to take different approaches. Showing a strong moral character works for example my brother disagreed with me one time and threw his half drank beer at me before I had to leave to the store to buy food. I didn't get angry and lose my cool. I calmly walked away got in my car and camly drove away. If that would of happened to my sister or my brother they would drive away erratically peeling out and what not. My neighbor saw the whole thing and was amazed how I handled the situation and has noticed a change in my attitude over the years to someone more nicer and mellow. And not the same person I use to be when I use to bully siblings and cousins but no longer my eyes were opened with some of the wake up calls I had. :sweat_smile::heart:;):thumbsup:

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2 hours ago, Jay-Omms said:

I'm use to people not agreeing with me and it has given me patience and wisdom. Also to know I wasn't clear or I worded it wrong or I was just plain wrong but I've learned to take different approaches. Showing a strong moral character works for example my brother disagreed with me one time and threw his half drank beer at me before I had to leave to the store to buy food. I didn't get angry and lose my cool. I calmly walked away got in my car and camly drove away. If that would of happened to my sister or my brother they would drive away erratically peeling out and what not. My neighbor saw the whole thing and was amazed how I handled the situation and has noticed a change in my attitude over the years to someone more nicer and mellow. And not the same person I use to be when I use to bully siblings and cousins but no longer my eyes were opened with some of the wake up calls I had. :sweat_smile::heart:;):thumbsup:

 

> I remember when you and I talked a lot on this subject when my Prince got "Hulk syndrome" and how much he and I liked the way you reacted. You are like my Fran who isn't even verbally aggressive to anyone. Yeap, life would be much nicer place with people like you. You have my admiration. :)

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That's a very complicated question and I found never a good solution for it.

I think it's normal to get angry for a short while (<1-2 days), but if that anger sticks (> 3 days) there needs to be a solution to be found.

Most of the time overthinking realistically and without emotion (as if I'm a 3rd party) helps, or talk directly about it to prevent misunderstandings.

In my ideal world there is always a middle ground to which everyone can agree too. In RL that's not always possible, especially if the reason of the disagreement isn't interested in finding a middle ground or even puts more wood on the fire.

 

I think the extent of the discrepancy must first be evaluated.

  • Is it a small matter and is it just a matter of principle?
  • Or can the reason for the disagreement change something to your own detriment in the long run?
  • Does the disagreement result from one's own quirk or is it really all or nothing?
  • Is the disagreement self-inflicted and therefore I cannot give in?
  • Do I have to hide a fat lie or self-deception and therefore there can be no easy solution?
  • Are my hormones simply running away with me?
  • Animal territorial behavior?
  • Self-willed counterpart and one self is not at all to blame for the escalation?
  • If it's on LL? If so is the usual behavior of that member known? If known, get -50% angry or less.
  • Just ignore the issue?
  • Questions upon questions...

I wish there would be a flow chart for any situation with suggested solutions.

 

Spoiler

 

 

Edited by donttouchmethere
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Two things that make a difference are

  • the common / uncommon cultural background of 2 people and if they know about each other's
  • the setting of the confrontation - if it's physical/personal, by phone/video call or if it's just written text e.g. like here or other social media

I can remember some psychology lectures from my university days where they had a look at effects of telephone conferences vs video vs physical.

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6 hours ago, donttouchmethere said:

That's a very complicated question and I found never a good solution for it.

I think it's normal to get angry for a short while (<1-2 days), but if that anger sticks (> 3 days) there needs to be a solution to be found.

Most of the time overthinking realistically and without emotion (as if I'm a 3rd party) helps, or talk directly about it to prevent misunderstandings.

In my ideal world there is always a middle ground to which everyone can agree too. In RL that's not always possible, especially if the reason of the disagreement isn't interested in finding a middle ground or even puts more wood on the fire.

 

I think the extent of the discrepancy must first be evaluated.

  • Is it a small matter and is it just a matter of principle?
  • Or can the reason for the disagreement change something to your own detriment in the long run?
  • Does the disagreement result from one's own quirk or is it really all or nothing?
  • Is the disagreement self-inflicted and therefore I cannot give in?
  • Do I have to hide a fat lie or self-deception and therefore there can be no easy solution?
  • Are my hormones simply running away with me?
  • Animal territorial behavior?
  • Self-willed counterpart and one self is not at all to blame for the escalation?
  • If it's on LL? If so is the usual behavior of that member known? If known, get -50% angry or less.
  • Just ignore the issue?
  • Questions upon questions...

I wish there would be a flow chart for any situation with suggested solutions.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

> Thanks for very nice overview. Let me give you just one LL example. @Tirloqueand I are LL friends. We rarely agreed about something. :) We still disagree about many major and important things but he showed much higher maturity in our disagreements than me although we are also different personalities. Unlike me who rejected his (valid) arguments in most cases, he disagreed with me with acceptance. Well, he is also older gentlemen and he knows manners unlike me who are still little bit wild. :D

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I'd say that calmly and respectfully disagreeing (and that would be an intermediate position between "All out war" and "Let go") is possible, but only if both interlocutors are open enough to do so. It's not easy to debate in an appeased manner when your interlocutor either loses his/her cool or tries to use a maximum of sophism/ad hominem arguments. :classic_smile:

 

 

14 minutes ago, EvalovesEP said:

 

> Thanks for very nice overview. Let me give you just one LL example. @Tirloqueand I are LL friends. We rarely agreed about something. :) We still disagree about many major and important things but he showed much higher maturity in our disagreements than me although we are also different personalities. Unlike me who rejected his (valid) arguments in most cases, he disagreed with me with acceptance. Well, he is also older gentlemen and he knows manners unlike me who are still little bit wild. :D

200px-Cain-portrait.png (old Tirloque)

               I agree Eva on this. She still has the rash impulsivity and vivacity of the youth.

                But once you get around your seventies, and once you get your first wheelchair, you become more acceptant towards other ideas.

Spoiler

:classic_tongue:

 

 

Edited by Tirloque
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2 minutes ago, Tirloque said:

I'd say that calmly and respectfully disagreeing (and that would be an intermediate position between "All out war" and "Let go") is possible, but only if both interlocutors are open enough to do so. It's not easy to debate in an appeased manner when your interlocutor either loses his/her cool or tries to use a maximum of sophism/ad hominem arguments. :classic_smile:

 

 

200px-Cain-portrait.png <- old Tirloque

               I agree Eva on this. She still has the rash impulsivity and vivacity of the youth.

                But once you get around your seventies, and once you get your first wheelchair, you become more acceptant towards other ideas.

  Reveal hidden contents

:classic_tongue:

 

 

 

> When I come to your age, Mr. Trilog you will be in eternity or maybe turned to zombie ;) So I hope this wouldn't happen to you in meantime

 

giphy.gif?cid=36b14facovw6y4xjjxqcrr22z2fk6lv74vznera2qf7yf5bz&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g and giphy.gif?cid=36b14faccl9kpezf9790z9018hk3pfvbyjf9txo4hddlg4mx&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
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4 hours ago, EvalovesEP said:

Let me give you just one LL example. @Tirloqueand I are LL friends. We rarely agreed about something.

Just imagine everyone as 200px-Cain-portrait.png if you have a disagreement with them and you will have only half the trouble!

(and don't let Stingrays follow you home. It's enough to ignore them on LL)

 

Why does the old Tirloque look like god? ?

 

6 hours ago, worik said:

or if it's just written text

I like written text!

More time to think before writing

Easier to ignore

Emojiis ftw

Always a good excuse to say: not read yet

more time to choose the right misunderstanding

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12 minutes ago, donttouchmethere said:

Just imagine everyone as 200px-Cain-portrait.png if you have a disagreement with them and you will have only half the trouble!

 

Why does the old Tirloque look like god? ?

 

 

 

> Well, some artists pictured god as an old man with gray beard and hair, but not bold. Mr. Trilog looks more like

giphy.gif?cid=36b14fac0xzun5ru0bdypysjmpprmatfiprenq61v7tl01cv&rid=giphy.gif&ct=gwho likes lucille ball redhead GIF
Edited by EvalovesEP
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2 hours ago, EvalovesEP said:

> Well, some artists pictured god as an old man with gray beard and hair, but not bold. Mr. Trilog looks more like

He is lucky that - thanks to social media - having many followers doesn't look like this anymore:

Spoiler

Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979) | The Criterion Collection

 

Edited by donttouchmethere
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2 minutes ago, donttouchmethere said:

He is lucky that thanks to social media having many followers doesn't looks like this anymore:

  Hide contents

Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979) | The Criterion Collection

 

Bette Davis Lol GIF by O&O, Inc

 

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39 minutes ago, donttouchmethere said:

Just imagine everyone as 200px-Cain-portrait.png if you have a disagreement with them and you will have only half the trouble!

(and don't let Stingrays follow you home. It's enough to ignore them on LL)

 

Why does the old Tirloque look like god? ?

Fun fact : the more impotent you are, the more potent you look. :D

 

Jokes aside, it's Deckard Cain, from the Diablo video games series. :classic_wink:

 

39 minutes ago, donttouchmethere said:

I like written text!

More time to think before writing

Easier to ignore

Emojiis ftw

Always a good excuse to say: not read yet

more time to choose the right misunderstanding

Agreed. More thoughts to thoughts sharing !

 

27 minutes ago, EvalovesEP said:

 

> Well, some artists pictured god as an old man with gray beard and hair, but not bold. Mr. Trilog looks more like

giphy.gif?cid=36b14fac0xzun5ru0bdypysjmpprmatfiprenq61v7tl01cv&rid=giphy.gif&ct=gwho likes lucille ball redhead GIF

 

pngtree-beautiful-woman-with-niqab-glyph « I very agree, yes. »

 

Spoiler

Or maybe not. :classic_ph34r: »

 

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8 minutes ago, donttouchmethere said:

Why does Youtube want me to confirm my age to see the vid ?

What did you link me to ?

> i opened it without problems alias age confirmation but you must be logged in

Edited by EvalovesEP
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2 hours ago, EvalovesEP said:

but you must be logged in

:classic_ph34r: .....

4 hours ago, EvalovesEP said:

pictured god as an old man

? I'm not touching the no-religion policy any further, but I am afraid, they are wrong. Completely

Spoiler

? as demonstrated here

Spoiler

 

and very obviously proven here ? :classic_dry:

Spoiler

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, donttouchmethere said:

What did you link me to ?

Nudity, tits, dicks, porn, most likely :classic_ph34r:Unbelieveable SMUT! :scream:

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1 hour ago, Heroine HoneyCrotch said:

I love a good debate. Fuck an argument, unless it's with a women and I know they're right. 

*pssst* ?

Don't tell em ?

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3 hours ago, Heroine HoneyCrotch said:

I love a good debate. Fuck an argument, unless it's with a women and I know they're right. 

> This is wisest thinking and attitude. :)

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