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Diary of a Dragonborn Chapter 36: Dimfall or Darkhollow or Something Like That


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CHAPTER 36: DIMFALL OR DARKHOLLOW OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
Wherein our hero pads out the length with pictures, because he can't be arsed to do any writing.
Previous: Chapter 35, Some Old Parchment

 

WARNING: This post, unlike the rest of this blog, is NSFW (depending on your definition of NSFW - I curse a lot in general, but this post has pictures of naked ladies, or rather one naked humanoid creature that could be called a lady if you were desperately searching for an identifier). I'm well aware that this site in general is NSFW, but I just thought I'd mention it. Peace.

 

Well, it turns out I have some talent at prediction. Darkfall Cave is, indeed, a dark cave that you can fall down in. It's pretty obvious what's going to happen, judging by this rickety, falling-apart bridge.
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Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
1. Assuming this was built by the ancient Falmer, why the hell wouldn't they, you know, build a set of steps down? Or at least a ladder? Hell, even a sign that says "enlightenment found down this pit" would be better than absolutely nothing.
2. Assuming this was not built by the ancient Falmer, and instead by some intrepid miner who was looking to get at the Moonstone on the other side, it does seem to be a hell of a lot of work for very little return. Three pieces of moonstone ore probably wouldn't pay for the wood, rope, and casually discarded tools that are scattered about. This is the work of a miner or group of miners who have no idea how economics work, i.e. you're supposed to get more money out than you put in.
3. Can I just turn around and leave, go back to Elinhir, maybe open up a little coffee shop and forget that I was ever an adventurer?

 

Serana, in her continuing efforts to make me despair at her intellect, seems to be of the same mindset as the aforementioned theoretical miners. After telling me that something doesn't seem right here, and that we should be very careful because there's trouble nearby, she sprints across the obviously-broken bridge and starts whacking on the rocks. Yep, that's my girl.
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No matter. Serana and I fall down the hole (surprise!) and drop into a swiftly moving river. Actually kind of interesting, this river. The fastest whitewater river in Skyrim has a pace best described as "meandering" but this, I can't even make headway against the current. Serana and I, and a couple of spiders, pop out the other side and commence a-fighting. The cave is actually pretty heavily populated with giant spiders, you wonder what the hell they've been eating down here considering that there appear to be no prey for the predators to live on. I start gearing up for a rant about the stupidity of devs who populate their remote caves with bloodthirsty beasts who never actually manage to find any food, but I then remember that I just jumped down the goddamn hole, so who's the idiot now? Sheepishly, I rein it in, and we keep walking. At least, for a little while, until we run into a fresh batch of spiders. I easily dispatch most of them, and Serana spectacularly fails in her battle against another. Gods know why, she's killed plenty of spiders since we've been wandering around together, they're not exactly the toughest beasts around, but this one she can't deal with? I just sit back and watch as she proceeds to get the stuffing knocked out of her by a big arthropod.

 

Um, and then the stuffing is put right back in, thanks to Defeat.
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Ewww... not just Defeat, but SD+ is on the case, and she's full of... full of yuck. Spider eggs up the jacksie. I don't even want to touch that. Put your armor back on, woman, let's keep moving.

 

Attempting to stay a minimum of three meters away from Serana at all times, I sprint through the caverns, and find another victim down here. This one died of Trolls, apparently. I guess this place really must be a main thoroughfare or something. I mean, just how many people end up wandering in accidentally? How many times do people break the bridge, fall down the hole, then other people come in and rebuild the damn bridge again? Sheesh.

 

Anyway, I slaughter a couple of trolls, all by myself, deliberately Unrelenting Force-ing Serana away just in case she comes down with another attack of the "Can't-Kill-Shit" disease. I mean, I don't love the woman, but I don't exactly want to see her raped by every damn creature in the world, either.

 

We eventually come across a shrine to Auri-El, apparently Falmer in construction, but damned if it doesn't look Aylied to me. If you ever get to Cyrodiil, stop in at any one of the dozens of Aylied ruins, and you'll see what I mean. At the shrine, we also encounter a Snow Elf guy.
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His name is Gelebor, a name that comes from two words of the ancient Snow Elf language, Gele and Bor - Gele, which means "Man," and Bor, meaning "who apparently cannot be pickpocketed." He proceeds to toss a bit of exposition my way, which is fielded by Serana, and the two then continue to bat exposition back and forth for a while. Gelebor does seem to be smarter than the average Skyrim inhabitant, I'll give him that... he is well aware that he's not powerful enough to waltz through the coming areas without dying, so he's found a couple of catspaws (and apparently we aren't the first sacrificial lambs he's shoved through the door either) to do his dirty work - killing his brother. Family squabbles are so tiresome, aren't they?

 

He also seems to be one of the few people who recognize that they are characters in a game. He is fully aware that NPCs are just that - NPCs - and not fully fleshed out people. His description of the Spectral Prelates fits the bill of a "scripted actor" completely. Well done, Gelebor, for seeing through the ruse.
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Impressed, I ask him if I can leave Serana here and take him with me instead, but he insists that he must keep watch over the shrine, ostensibly because it's his sworn duty but actually because he, as I have said, is aware that shit gets dangerous up ahead and he'd rather stay here with the murderous trolls and rapist spiders. Gee, I feel really confident about my future chances now.

 

Anyway, I've got to lug this ewer of water around with me, filling it periodically, in order to end up dumping it out again. Which perfectly sums up the state of Skyrim's Radiant AI quests - innkeeper gives you a quest to clear out a bandit hole, wait a couple of days, bandits move back in, innkeeper gives you a quest to clear it out again. I can't complain too much, though... it is good job security. Let's pop through this portal, shall we? Hopefully there's something interesting on the other side.
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NEXT: Chapter 37, Something Interesting On The Other Side
Start at Chapter 1

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I had about three pages written for this chapter, but then I exited without saving the damn document. Because I'm a moron.

So you get this - barely stretched out to two pages by adding in pictures. Sorry about that... it's also likely to be the last update for quite some time, too. :(

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aww, but why? You MUST update cos reasons! and stuff.

 

And thanks for the pic of a naked spideregg filled Serena. I didn't like my dinner that much anyway :-\

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aww, but why? You MUST update cos reasons! and stuff.

 

And thanks for the pic of a naked spideregg filled Serena. I didn't like my dinner that much anyway :-\

Well, okay, just for you, here's an update:

Serana and I walk through the portal together.

How's that? :)

 

The reason for the anticipated lack of updates is, work is picking up.

Of course, I do often tend to overestimate things like that. Who knows, I might put six chapters up tomorrow.

Um... nope...

But still, there may be something between now and the Solstice. ;)

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omg, that was not an update... that was a damned SPOILER! So I guess in the end, the butler did it? See? now you have ruined it for me... RUINED!

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omg, that was not an update... that was a damned SPOILER! So I guess in the end, the butler did it? See? now you have ruined it for me... RUINED!

 

Despair not, my fine bovine friend! Chapter 37 is right around the corner!

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