Story writer that's gotten stuck on a scene.

[Zorlond]

So, I'm an amateur writer, nothing special, mostly a hobby. I'm working on a scene in a fantasy setting and I've gotten stuck. I'm hoping folks here can share some opinions/thoughts/ideas that might help. Maybe? Please? ?

 

So the scene is (quasi-)Japanese bathhouse. Shared pool of water, chance to clean up, talk, so on. Only two characters present: Girl A - human. Girl B - kitsune (fox ears and tail, but otherwise completely human). Both attractive, of course. They haven't known each other long, no overt declarations of interest from either of them yet, but both are bisexual and hints of attraction both ways. Girl B is a socially awkward mess, hence Girl A is not sure about Girl B's interest, and Girl A is not the sort to fling herself at people.

 

So, they're both naked in the bath pool. Girl A has a loofah and just finished rubbing her arms down, Girl B is just having a soak, when Girl A suggests cleaning Girl B's back. She does, then asks Girl B to reciprocate, who does. While this goes on they talk about bathing, and Girl A asks how Girl B's skin is so good. Girl B talks about mountain pools that kitsune like to bathe in. Girl A suddenly turns around and..... I'm stuck.

 

I could totally turn it into a sex scene, but that really doesn't feel right for the narrative or the overall structure of the story I'm writing. Problem is, I'm a hetero male and I don't even know if this setup is even reasonable from the perspective of a bi/gay woman. Am I mis-interpreting how Girl A would approach this? Would she even want to 'go there' in a public bath even if they're completely alone right now? Is talking about bathing and nice skin condition even something lesbians would talk about to get in the mood? Or to try to 'sound out' their potential interest? Should Girl B freak out and try to pull out of the conversation? (socially awkward after all) Am I even asking the right questions? I don't know. ?

 

Any thoughts? They'd really be helpful.

[Mr. Otaku]

Okay so i'm seeing two issues that could be the reason you're stuck. First being that neither of the character are talking about anything that meaningful, well meaningful in the sense that it doesn't feel interpersonal. You start the dialogue with the skin talk but what is it leading to? You have to give them enough material to keep conversing about and make sure that it leads to them revealing more about themselves which they can then use to further the sexual progress.

 

The second issue is that there's no overarching frame to this prior to the scene. Why are they both in that bath house? What led them there and where are they going if they're going anywhere at all? That can also something the two can delve into bit by bit in order to open up narrative strings to draw the sexual advancing from. Did they get interrupted? By whom? For what? These are the things you have to map out before you even start the scene itself.

[Zorlond]

Well for your second issue, this isn't the start of the story. I didn't add more of their backstory because I didn't think it immediately relevant. They're adventurers, they've been working together (just the two of them most of the time) for about a week at this point, and they've been in multiple combats with monsters together. As for why they're there, quest in sewers > don't want to be smelly anymore (proximity smelly, not in-the-muck smelly) > bathhouse. Plans for after bathing are nebulous at this point.

 

And your first point is basically suggesting less sexy-time and more talking? (of personal nature) Hmm. That's possible. Not sure if that un-sticks me, but worth mulling over.

[Heroine HoneyCrotch]

Sounds like the girls should be engaging in sexual activities to me. 

[Heroine HoneyCrotch]

20 hours ago, Zorlond said:

is basically suggesting less sexy-time and more talking?

 

Headed in the wrong direction, unless they're naked and talking about sex?