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Lesson IV: Quotes and dialogue


pepertje

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Now that you know how to put your thoughts on paper in an interesting way, you’re ready to take it to the next step. Before I proceed, however, I’ll just go ahead and say that I’m going to assume you’ve already read my previous entries. If you haven’t, read those first, since you may have trouble understanding some of the terms I’m using here. Also, the following is mostly based on my own experience and preference, and you may use different techniques yourself, but there are still general rules which will always apply.

 

Alright, you have the basic feel of how to prevent those boring long reads, but that is just the words you as a narrator tell your readers. But how about the words your characters tell them? That’s right, we’re talking about dialogue here. Since I have a policy of explaining every term I come across, let me go ahead and state the obvious here: dialogue is when two (or more, but mostly two) characters have a conversation with each other. You may think this is no different than normal writing, but today I’ll be explaining the things you will definitely need to keep in mind when venturing into dialogue, since there are a couple of differences.

 

Conventions and formatting
Sounds fancy, right? Well, it basically means “what rules apply and when do you press the return key on your keyboard?” This is still important to discuss, since it is the foundation of dialogue in written works. The following conventions are based on the way I learned and apply them, so don’t worry if you’re using another convention.

 

Quotation marks
Quotation marks are the little symbols you see around words or sentences. I’m sure you know those already, but now you also know what they’re called ;) Those are used to quote things, hence the name. When you’re quoting, you are literally writing down what someone said. However, these marks can also be used to make a word stand out, as you may have noticed in previous entries of mine, I use them to mark certain terms I’m using.
There’s two types of quotation marks. ‘Singles’ and “doubles”. It doesn’t really matter which ones you use, but it’s still useful to know there’s two so you can use different marks for dialogue and other quotations. When you do this, the basic rule is to remain consistent. If you use singles for dialogue, keep using those for dialogue, otherwise your readers will be confused. The conventions regarding quotation marks that I’ll be discussing are based off the Dutch system, I’m not entirely sure if they’re the exact same as the English ones, but they should be usable by anyone.

 

-Mark dialogue with quotation marks when you’re writing down exactly what they’re saying.

 

He looked to me and explained: ‘Once you reach 5th Street, take a left and then up the hill, it should take you to Boulevard. From there, it’s a left and you should get to the theater.’

 

-You don’t need to use quotation marks when explaining what someone said (paraphrasing).

 

He looked to me and explained how to get to the theater.

 

-You also don’t have to use quotation marks when quoting thoughts, because thoughts aren’t observed by any of the characters.

 

I thought to myself: why would he do such a thing?

 

Breaks and assignment of action
Breaks are made when you press the return key and start on a new line. Simple enough, right? Well, you still have to know when to do that. The way I learned it is to do so whenever you start describing a new action. Reaching out to movies, it’s similar to starting a new shot. It’s entirely up to you when you do it, but it is advised to make good use of breaks, otherwise your story will become one large blob of lines, which can scare some people. The usual number of lines I have between breaks (on average) is approximately 7. In dialogue, you should use a break whenever someone new starts speaking. E.g.:
‘Don’t worry so much,’ he said.
‘Easy for you to say,’ I replied.

 

Assignment of action means when you explain who is doing what. It sounds a lot more complicated than it really is, and can easily be explained with a quick example:

 

‘I haven’t seen you in a while,’ he said.

 

“I haven’t seen you in a while” is the dialogue, “he said” is the assignment of action. What is important to remember is that the quote and assignment form one single sentence. As such, the quote should end with a comma rather than a full stop. The assignment of action should also start with a normal letter, rather than a capital letter.

 

Things get a bit more complicated when the quoted character continues talking. The assignment of action should be put in early on, so the reader knows exactly who is doing the talking. Generally it’s placed at the first stop or full stop. If the character keeps talking after that, it’s important to know whether to start the next part of the quote with a capital letter or not. An easy way to determine this is to take away the assignment of action and see whether the sentence continues or ends at the gap. Some examples:

 

‘It’s going to be a difficult one,’ said Melbourne, ‘but that’s never scared me before.’
Melbourne said: ‘It’s going to be a difficult one, but that’s never scared me before.’
Sentence continues after assignment of action, use a comma and small letter.

 

‘We have waited in here long enough,’ said Melbourne. ‘I suggest we get ready to leave.’
Melbourne said: ‘We have waited in here long enough. I suggest we get ready to leave.’
New sentence after assignment of action, use full stop and capital letter.

 

The perceptive reader may have noticed I didn’t use breaks in the above examples, that’s because the same person keeps talking. This way you don’t have to repeat the assignment of action. Speaking of which, in a long dialogue, you only have to use the assignment of action once for every character. The reader will automatically pick up on the rhythm of dialogue, so you don’t have to repeat until the dialogue in interrupted:

 

‘I can’t believe you made it,’ said Melbourne. ‘Then again, you’ve always been full of surprises.’
‘Let’s just say I got lucky,’ Smith replied.
‘You and luck? Sounds like an odd tango to me.’
‘What can I say? Maybe Lady Luck finally fell for my charm.’
‘Don’t get cocky now, we still have a lot to do.’
‘Can’t it wait until I’m done bleeding?’
‘Maybe. Depends on how long it takes.’

 

As you can see: most readers wouldn’t have one problem to determine whether a line was being spoken by Melbourne or Smith. This is because the breaks indicate a change of action, and since there’s only two people involved in the conversation, it’s natural to assume the other is taking over.

 

Bleak and vibrant dialogue
Now that you know the most important rules on how to write dialogue, it’s time we took a look at how to make dialogue interesting to read. A dialogue can be either bleak or vibrant. For those who have read the previous entry and know what I mean by bleak and vibrant: the same applies to dialogue. You can bore your readers by having an entire dialogue written without any kind of interruption. Plus, these interruptions can help further the story as well, with certain actions being performed during dialogue, which can give a new meaning to what a character says. A quick example following the example provided in the previous entry:

 

Bleak
She was a true femme fatale, and had been the cause of more than one gravestone. As her eyes turned to mine, my heart felt like it was trying to escape through the back of my throat. The dress she wore was as black as the night sky that covered the streets, and felt strangely unsettling to me. As she leaned over in her chair, fit for a high-rolling man, she lit a cigarette, the final testimony to the fact that my presence could only barely move her.
‘Well, Goldman,’ she said, ‘what do you want?’
‘I think you and I both know why I’m here,’ I replied.
‘Oh, please, Mr. Goldman, you severely overestimate me.’
‘I’m here to talk about Codman.’
‘Codman?’
‘Yes. Codman.’
‘I’m afraid that name doesn’t ring a bell.’
‘You may know him as “the Surgeon”. Sound familiar?’
‘That name does. Why come to me to talk about a dirty old man.’
‘He’s been...’
‘Wait! Let me guess... He’s gotten himself killed, hasn’t he? And now I’m suspect number one.’
‘He’s not dead... Yet.’
‘Too bad. He really has it coming, you know?’

 

Vibrant
She was a true femme fatale, and had been the cause of more than one gravestone. As her eyes turned to mine, my heart felt like it was trying to escape through the back of my throat. The dress she wore was as black as the night sky that covered the streets, and felt strangely unsettling to me. As she leaned over in her chair, fit for a high-rolling man, she lit a cigarette, the final testimony to the fact that my presence could only barely move her.
‘Well, Goldman,’ she said, ‘what do you want?’
‘I think you and I both know why I’m here,’ I replied.
‘Oh, please, Mr. Goldman, you severely overestimate me.’
She put down her lighter and slightly raised her eyebrow. A suppressed grin seemed to be looming in the corner of her lips.
‘I’m here to talk about Codman,’ I said. As I uttered the name, she leaned forward, opening her eyes widely and looking at me with an amused sparkle in her eyes.
‘Codman?’ she repeated.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Codman.’
She leaned back again, twitching her head and tapping the ash off her cigarette. A smile appeared on her face, her way of telling me I was looking in all the wrong directions.
‘I’m afraid that name doesn’t ring a bell,’ she said as she moved the cigarette back to her mouth.
‘You may know him as “the Surgeon”,’ I said, to make it clear I had done my fair share of homework before knocking on her apartment door. ‘Sound familiar?’
Her hand stopped mid air, her lips unsealed, but the fingers holding the cigarette didn’t move any closer.
‘That name does,’ she said as her fingers curled up. ‘Why come to me to talk about a dirty old man.’
‘He’s been...’
Before I could finish my sentence, or rather the moment I started it, she got up from her chair and uttered: ‘Wait! Let me guess...’
She moved from her chair to mine, circling around my back as she tapped her chin with her finger. ‘He’s gotten himself killed, hasn’t he?’ she eventually asked. ‘And now I’m suspect number one.’
‘He’s not dead...’ I said. ‘Yet.’
‘Too bad. He really has it coming, you know?’

 

These are the exact same dialogues, with the only difference being that the bleak variant could have been a phone call, but the vibrant one has a scene playing out throughout the dialogue.
Some writers may think that, in accordance to “words that should be avoided”, using the words “said” and “asked” and the other common words to use in assignment of action too often is a bad thing. This is not the case! The word indicating action determines the tone of said action. E.g., if you replace “asked” with “inquired”, it’s not just a synonym, it’s a whole different tone. To ask is simply to ask, to inquire implies that you ask a question in a somewhat more aggressive manner.

 

Realism VS pleasantness
Some writers may believe that the more realistic the depiction, the better. This is not the case, however. Think of a game such as Fallout 4: it’s not realistic. Realism would be that everything is dead, and even if you were to survive, a single shot to the chest will put you out of the fight. Fun, right? No, it wouldn’t be fun, and that’s because realism isn’t always good.
In storytelling, the same applies. If you want to be realistic and have a character stammer, it is more annoying than constructive. You’d be better off describing the fact that he stammers rather than quoting it. The same goes for other things, such as mispronunciation or trying to find the words. In real life, these things happen all the time, but keep them out of your story, since the flow of the story should stand above realism.

 

That’s all for now folks, hope it’s been useful enough. But just a quick recap for everyone who was too lazy to read the whole thing:
Quotation marks:
-Used to quote people or stress certain words.
-Two different types, can be used for multiple purposed, but always be consistent.
-Thoughts don’t have to be quoted.

 

Breaks and assignment of action
-Use breaks to make your text easier to read.
-Consider breaks when changing action.
-A quote and assignment of action form a single sentence.
-Assignment of action in dialogue should be used whenever a new person starts speaking after any interruption.

 

Bleak and vibrant dialogue
-Make sure you interrupt a conversation if your characters can do something, otherwise it’s like reading a phone call.
-Don’t be afraid to use the common words to indicate dialogue. The more “interesting” words usually imply a tone in which the dialogue takes place.

 

Realism VS pleasantness
-Realism isn’t always good.
-If you want to insert realism, make sure it doesn’t obstruct the flow of the story.

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