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Lesson III: Wordplay


pepertje

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Alright, you have your metal and hammer all figured out, and now it’s time to get working on your mold. See what I did there? Symbolism for the topics I’ve discussed in the previous two lessons. If you haven’t read those, be sure to do, since I’ll assume you have. Also, this lesson focuses entirely on written stories, so screenwriters won’t learn anything useful here.

Now that you know what your story is going to be like, and know what to keep an eye out for during your writing sessions, it’s time to talk about the thing that differentiates a thrilling novel from a boring read for which only your English teacher could find the proper words to scold it: wordplay. In case I’m using the wrong term here (chances are that I am, English isn’t my first language), let me explain what I mean when saying “wordplay”: the way you use words and sentences to pass the information onto the reader. Sounds pretty abstract, right? Well, that’s because it is, but I’m hoping the following lesson will make it crystal clear.
As always: the following is based mostly on my own experience and preference, but there are several rules that will always apply.
Also, as described above: English isn’t my first language and I don’t have a degree in literacy, that’s why I’ll be using terms I use myself to refer to certain aspects. Once I put those in, I’ll explain what I mean by those.


Synonyms and bleak sentences.
Everyone knows what a synonym is (at least, I hope you do). For those who don’t: a synonyms are two different words with the same meaning. A quick example would be “car” and “automobile”. Two words with the same meaning. This can also apply to a group of words: “list of songs a band plays” and “setlist”. When you’re writing in English, you’re in luck: English is the language with the most synonyms spoken today, so be sure to look up as many as you can.
Bleak sentences are one of my own terms I use to describe a “boring” sentence in which the writer is literal and doesn’t work on proper atmosphere in a sentence. The opposite of a “bleak sentence” is a “vibrant sentence”, in which the writer tries to hand the facts in the story a little more interesting. This one is a little more vague, so I’ll use an example to clarify. A short scene introduction with the top example being the bleak version, and the bottom one a vibrant version, fitting to a noire-style detective.

 


 

 

Bleak
The woman was dangerous, and had killed several people. She looked at me and my heart began to pound. She wore a black dress, which felt scary. It was dark outside, because it was night. She sat in an expensive chair. She lit a cigarette and puffed. She didn’t seem to care about me being here.

Vibrant
She was a true femme fatale, and had been the cause of more than one gravestone. As her eyes turned to mine, my heart felt like it was trying to escape through the back of my throat. The dress she wore was as black as the night sky that covered the streets, and felt strangely unsettling to me. As she leaned over in her chair, fit for a high-rolling man, she lit a cigarette, the final testimony to the fact that my presence could only barely move her.

 

 

I’ll admit, the “vibrant” version still isn’t the most perfect, but it’s still a lot better than the bleak one. Why? Because the vibrant version makes use of synonyms which then replace regular words or groups of words with ones more fitting to the style and atmosphere (“The woman was dangerous” means the same as “She was a true femme fatale”.) Also, several pieces of information are now formulated in such a way that it isn’t presented as a bleak fact, but makes the reader take a small step to understand what’s being implied. (“[she] had killed several people” is now “[she] had been the cause of more than one gravestone.”) By doing this, you don’t directly imply that the woman had killed, but the link between gravestones and death are obvious enough to make it clear.

Pacing
By pacing I mean deviating from your usual sentence length (how many words in one sentence) for a certain part in your story. Pacing is a useful way to get the reader to go along with the feeling you want them to get while reading a specific part of your story. This is because most readers will “speak” the words in their minds whilst reading, and their breathing rhythm will usually be in sync with this. The result: the shorter the sentence, the faster the pace, the faster the breathing. Why is this useful? Because the faster you breathe, the faster your heart will beat. This simulates an adrenalin rush which causes the reader to find your story a lot more thrilling. Be sure to not abuse your powers as author and give them heart attacks ;).
Again, I’ll show two examples telling the exact same story, but one with a slow pace and one with a faster pace. Feel free to share which one thrilled you the most.

 

 

 

 

Slow
I kneeled down in front of the lock and took a good look at it. Slowly, I slid the picks into the keyhole and felt around to see which tumbler to pin first. The lock would be a difficult one to crack, as proven by the fact that the pick I was using snapped. I pulled out a second, tougher one, and slid this one into the keyhole as well. The second time around would always prove more fruitful, and the lock now opened with little effort.

Fast
I kneeled down. I looked at the lock carefully, slid a pick into the hole. I tried to figure out where to start. It would be difficult. The first pick snapped. I grabbed another one, a tougher one. I slid it in as well. The second time would be easier, it always was. The lock opened.

 

 

It may not be as clear in such a short example, but it still goes to show that short sentences (or forcing breaths in other ways) can up the thrill as well. This can work the other way around as well, with long sentences causing a slow breathing pace, thus pushing the tension down. When you want to use this to the maximum potential, do this for an entire paragraph. Be careful, though, since pacing your text for too long can have a negative impact.

Words to avoid
As stated before, synonyms are a good way to make a story more interesting. They are also ideal when dealing with the “forbidden words”. These are the words that you should avoid as much as possible. An ideal example is the word “very”. Those who have seen the movie “Dead Poets Society” will know this, and will know why. For those who haven’t: very is a lazy word. There’s somewhere around a million ways to avoid words like these, with the two most common being using synonyms and applying lengthened vibrancy. Lengthened vibrancy here means using the same technique used in the example over at “synonyms and bleak sentences”, and in this case means using more words which can fit the atmosphere. Below I’ll list some examples (as well as a link to a list of words to avoid.)

 

 

 

 

Very
She was very mad.
Synonym
She was furious.
Lengthened vibrancy
By now she could set him ablaze without a second thought.

 

Really
He was really tall.
Synonym
He was seven feet tall.
Lengthened vibrancy
He couldn’t even fit through your average doorway.

 

 

The above examples can’t even begin to scrape the surface of words you should avoid, but it is meant to show you what you should do whenever you encounter any word you feel should be left out or replaced. For a more comprehensive list, try this.

And that concludes this lesson. Just to sum things up:
Synonyms and bleak sentences
-Use synonyms to avoid boring phrases.
-Bleak sentences scare readers away.
-Vibrant sentences can be used to bring the atmosphere into every word.

Pacing
-The shorter your sentence, the faster the heartbeat.
-The longer the paced section, the greater the effect.
-Pacing for too long has a negative effect.

Words to avoid
-Certain words can be quite annoying.
-Use synonyms or vibrancy to replace the word-to-avoid.

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